The ride back to Miso’s house was quiet. I kept on holding her hand but my mind was somewhere else. We didn’t even look at each other. When I suddenly feel like looking at the quiet Miso, I saw her left hand holding onto her stomach. I wonder what do you have in mind right now. Are you already attached to the ‘thing’ that’s growing inside your belly? Or are you thinking about throwing it away? The smile that suddenly appears on her face while still holding onto her belly makes me scared. The smile that usually calms me down and makes me happy just by looking at me makes me breathless. I get breathless thinking about Miso’s decision on keeping that thing. I don’t have to be a psychic to be able to understand the meaning of that smile. Miso… don’t! For the first time today, I feel like letting go of my hand. I feel like running away, even though I know it would make me lose Miso. But I just tighten the grip on Miso’s hand after thinking about losing her to someone else.

I didn’t even bother to get the chance to stay a bit longer after sending Miso home, something that I usually do whenever we’re together. I just tell her that I have a tight schedule and have to go to practice right away before she gets down and she just nods her hand. Before getting off the car, I hold her hand tightly and give a small peck on her lips. I really don’t want to let you go like this, especially with your mind already decided on having that thing.

“What’s up with you?” Seokjin hyung asked me when we finally left Miso’s house. I transfer my seat to the passenger seat when he stopped by a nearby mart and just sit quietly, looking for the answer to his question.

“Drink this and calm yourself down,” Seokjin hyung hand a bottle of soju to me, but also told me to drink half of it instead of finishing all of it.

“We have practice later hyung, we’ll reek with alcohol smell if we drink it right now,” I said to Seokjin hyung and he just laugh at what I just said.

“Just drink it. I know what I’m doing. Do you really think you can practice with your mind in that condition?” Seokjin hyung ask me and I just drink the soju right away. It’s not the first time I ever drink alcohol. It’s a lie for people to think that we underage don’t drink alcohol until we become adult. I’m really good at drinking them that I don’t even get drunk when I finish this bottle of soju.

“Look at this kid. I told him to drink only half of it but he ended up drinking all of it after nagging to me about the practice. Now chew them until you think that your breath doesn’t smell like alcohol anymore.” Seokjin hyung said to me and I just obey his words, taking the bottle of gum in his hands. I’ve drink one bottle of soju but I still can’t forget the smile Miso had while holding onto her belly. The most sincere smile I’ve ever seen, also the smile that scares me the most.

“Hyung, don’t tell anyone about what you saw and heard today. I’ll try and settle with it quietly,” I told Seokjin hyung and he just shake his head answering my question. Does it mean that he will tell everything to them?

“Jimin, I’m going to tell everyone about how pretty Miso is and how your eyes seems to brighten up whenever you see her smile, though you look very scared while you were in the car,” Seokjin hyung said to me. My eyes that bright up whenever I see her smile. I never thought that I will ever lose that kind of looks ever but after today,