New Year’s. The only thing that seemed new to me was the feeling of energy inside of me. I decided to go out and see the fireworks to bring in the new year. Couldn’t hurt.

The guys were with me. When I told Jongin I was going to go out tonight, he instantly invited himself and everyone else along, saying we could all have fun until the new year. He told me that he would make sure I had fun. ‘No moping,’ they all said when we arrived.

“Anybody want some drinks?” Sehun asked, wasting no time.

Jongdae shoved him. “You better not get wasted right off the bat or I’ll duct tape you to a flagpole,” he said, leading Sehun and Tao to find drinks anyway. I shook my head and glanced at my watch. Two more hours to go. I can make it.

Jongin patted me on the shoulder. “Enjoy yourself,” he said before leading his girl to find something to drink. I nodded and glanced around.

I remembered asking to kiss at midnight even though she continuously told me how cliche it was. So I kissed her at 11:59 until 12:01. She still called me a dork and then began waving a sparkler around and almost caught herself on fire. I hoped no one tried to kiss her at midnight this time, just how she wanted.

Instead of standing around, I went to find a bottle of water. I didn’t want to get wasted or even a bit buzzed, I just wanted to be around people for once. Not so much as wanted, but knew I needed to be. So I found the guy selling drinks and waited in line.

“What do you need?” he asked over the loud crowd.

I asked for a bottle of water.

The guy turned and peeked into the cooler behind him. “Hey, I need a bottle of water!” he shouted to someone.

“One sec,” a voice answered from behind me.

My heart froze in my chest. That voice. Her voice. She was there, right behind me. And then she was moving around to get to the guy who was selling the drinks. I turned my head away, hoping my hat helped make me unnoticeable. I wanted to see her, I wanted her to see me. But I couldn’t.

“Here you go, man.” The guy handed over the bottle of water. I gave him the money without looking up and grabbed the bottle from him before turning to disappear into the crowd.

“Kyungsoo?”

I paused momentarily, my eyes closing at the sound of her voice saying my name after having not heard her voice in months. Then I moved and hid in the crowd. I couldn’t face her. I felt embarrassed. Clearly, she had moved on and here I was, first time around actual people in weeks. I practically ran through the crowd until I found Sehun chugging with a bunch of idiots that smelled like they hadn’t bathed in weeks.

“Sehun!” I shouted, pulling the beer from his mouth to catch his attention. A few complaints rose up.

“Yah, hyung!” Sehun grouched at me, frowning.

“Where’s Jongin?” I asked, ignoring everyone.

Sehun shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said before going back to his stupid game.

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