Chapter 6 : Confession

Jong Suk walked back to the dinner table, gaining both ladies’ attention.

“What happened? Are you alright?” Su Jin asked, clearly worried by the expression she was making.

“Oh, yeah…I was feeling bit nauseous” he said as he weighed back to his chair.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jong Suk lifted his head at Ji Ahn’s voice and met the eyes that stared right into his; he felt his stomach lurch again, the feeling of nausea hit back to him. He darted his eyes onto the table.

“Yeah…” he managed to say.

He heard the sound of the chair scratch against the smooth floor as Woo Bin returned to his seat. Jong Suk had neither the courage nor the need to look at him at this moment. He looked at his plate instead; his almost untouched steak lay in front of him. He stared at it as if it was the most interesting thing.

“You should eat bit more” Ji Ahn said watching him just stare at his food, “You’ll feel better that way”

He managed to flash a small smile at her before picking up the fork that lay on the plate.

“Don’t eat”

He jerked his head at Woo Bin’s voice; it seemed Woo Bin’s words had managed to gather the girls’ attention as well.

“If you don’t have the appetite, don’t eat” Woo Bin was saying in a calm voice, his eyes softened into a caring gaze as they hovered on Jong Suk’s face, “You might want to throw up again”

Jong Suk was too startled to say anything; he just stared at the handsome face beside him. He heard Su Jin giggle a bit, almost as if she found the most amusing thing; then she said to Woo Bin, “Wow, you really know him the best don’t you?”

Jong Suk saw a smirk pull at Woo Bin’s lip as he winked at the girl as if saying ‘you-got-it-right’.

The rest of the dinner went quietly and Jong Suk finished the orange juice Woo Bin had ordered for him instead of his steak.

“Did you come in your car?” Woo Bin was asking Jong Suk as they walked out of the restaurant. He didn’t want to talk to him and he didn’t want to linger anywhere near this couple anymore.

“Yes” he gave a short definite answer and headed to the parking lot; the other three people following after him.

“What about you, Su Jin-shi?” he looked at the girl following behind Jong Suk.

“I was dropped here by my friend” she said shyly. It’s obvious that she wanted Jong Suk to drop her off.

“Where do you live?” Woo Bin was asking again.

“Namhak-dong” her soft voice seemed to disappear into the evening air.

Woo Bin turned around and looked at Ji Ahn right behind him. “Ji Ahn-shi…” he managed to gain her attention, “Since you also live near Namhak-dong, can you give Su Jin-shi a lift home?”

“What?” her wide eyes stared at him with a look that seem to say ‘what-on-earth-are-you-saying’.  

“I have to talk with Jong Sukie, so I’ll go in his car” he said looking back and forth between the two girls who had paused in the middle of the car park and were staring at him with surprise and confusion written clear on their small faces. “I’m sorry Su Jin-shi” he said to the girl to his left, and stepped away from them, shouting “I’ll leave her in your care Ji Ahn-shi” as he hurried his steps, almost running toward Jong Suk’s car. He clicked the door open and slid into the passenger seat beside Jong Suk.

“What are you doing?!” Jong Suk asked, taken aback by the unexpected passenger in his car.

Woo Bin fastened his seat belt and settled into the seat. When Jong Suk didn’t seem to be planning on driving any time soon, he caught the confused eyes staring at him from the driver’s seat and pointed his eyes at the road ahead, signalling Jong Suk to drive.

Jong Suk’s mind had gone blank, what is he doing in my car? Why was Woo Bin here? He felt the thoughts form somewhere in the back of his mind, but it was too hazy for him to even realize what he was thinking.

“Aren’t you going to drive? Should I drive instead?” Woo Bin’s words pulled him out of his dozing state. Without a word he drove the car out of the parking lot and turned into the busy road heading to Seoul.

None of them said a word for the next five minutes; Woo Bin was caught in his own thoughts as to how he was going to start the conversation, and Jong Suk was trying to figure out what was happening.

Jong Suk cursed Hyoyeon in his head for the umpteenth time for setting up his blind date in this restaurant. He didn’t hate the girl, actually Su Jin was a nice person that he wouldn’t mind being friends with, but not a potential girlfriend.

“Ah right!!” Jong Suk shouted suddenly, “Su Jin-shi…” then he swung his head to look at Woo Bin. “Where is Su Jin-shi? I was supposed to give her a ride home” he imagined the poor girl standing in front of the restaurant waiting for a taxi with her eyes full of tears. I’m such an idiot, how could I forget her…he scolded himself silently.

Woo Bin chuckled, “What a great boyfriend you are” he said, directing a sarcastic smirk at him.

“It’s your fault you jerk” he barked, changing the lane so that he can turn around once he passed the traffic light ahead.

Looking at Jong Suk’s worried face stirred Woo Bin’s heart, not with pity or pain, but with anger; because he was worried because about some random girl. “Ji Ahn’s giving her a lift” Woo Bin said looking out of the window.

Without saying anything Jong Suk changed the lane again. This time he wondered where he should drive to; to his house or to Woo Bin’s. The he asked, “Where should I drop you off at?”

Woo Bin thought for a moment, looking at the late winter evening that had swallowed the city. The Han river glittered bellow the neon lights of Seoul.

“There” he said pointing at the river, “Take me to the river”

“What?” Jong Suk thought he heard it wrong, “The river?” he asked again.

Woo Bin nodded in confirmation.

“Why would you want to go there at this time? It is freezing outside you know”

Woo Bin pulled his gaze out of the scenery outside and placed it on the boy next to him, a grin ran across his face, “Are you worrying about me?”

“W—why would I? I was just saying”

“Then just drive me there” he said and went back to looking at the night city.

After few minutes Jong Suk parked his car by the Han River. There was no people around and no vehicles either; of course he didn’t expect for anyone to be here in the middle of night, and to top that on a freezing day like this, unless they were crazy like Woo Bin was. He waited for Woo Bin to get off, but he made no movements.

“Aren’t you getting off?”

Woo Bin raised one of his eyebrows at Jong Suk, “Are you crazy?” he said, “Why would I want to get out when it’s freezing outside?”

“Ah!!” Jong Suk gave a dumbfounded laugh. “That's what I clearly told you, but you said you wanted to come here” he remarked.

“I said I want to come here, not get off here”

Jong Suk slid his hand to the gear box, but Woo Bin’s broad hand blocked him. Before Jong Suk could react, Woo Bin turned the engine off and snatched the car key.

“What are you doing?”

“Jong Sukie…” he said, looking into the younger man’s eyes. “I need to talk—no—we need to talk” he corrected himself.

“About what?”

“Us”

Jong Suk felt his eyes expand at the word ‘us’ breaking free from Woo Bin’s lips. He said those words as if they were so dear to him, as if it meant the whole world to him…but he is talking about the ‘us’ in a friendship. Nothing more nothing less. Jong Suk had to remind himself once again.

“Jong Sukie…about Yoo Ji Ahn…”

“I’m sorry but I’m not interested. So can you give back the key please? I want to go home. I’ll drop you off at your house” He said looking at a boat dashing up the river into the night.

“Listen to me when I’m talking” Woo Bin grabbed him by the collar and forced him to look at him. “I don’t want us to keep going around and round in these pointless circles when we are both clearly hurting!” Jong Suk saw Woo Bin eyes twinkle in red under the moonlight, his spit hitting on Jong Suk’s face as Woo Bin tried to hold in his sobs from breaking. The last time Jong Suk had seen Woo Bin like this; so angry that his grips are trembling, so painful that his tears burn in his sharp eyes, so hurting that his sobs stuck in his throat…was at the ‘School 2013’ scene where Go Nam Soon and Park Heung-Soo were speaking their hearts out. Jong Suk could feel the pain behind those sharp eyes as if it was his own pain.

“Alright…I’ll listen” Jong Suk’s words were almost silent that he didn’t know if they left his mouth or if they were just a thought that slithered across his mind. He held onto Woo Bin’s shaking hands on a tight grip at his collar, and gently loosened them. He felt Woo Bin let go of them as those big hands fell back on his lap.

“Woo Bin-ah…” Jong Suk uttered almost like a whisper. Even at the filming site, the person he had seen crying his heart out was not Kim Woo Bin, but Park Heung Soo. Kim Woo Bin was someone that did not break down in front of others; he was someone that didn’t show his weakness to others. Even in his most difficult times, he was someone that would not break out in sobs. Unlike Jong Suk, he was someone who could hold in all the pain. But that person was breaking down now, breaking into tiny pieces right in front of Jong Suk’s eyes.

Jong Suk felt a wrenching feeling invading his gut and swarming to all his organs. One tear broke free, ran down his cheek and spilled onto his cotton shirt; then the rest followed in a hot stream. His teeth dug into the flesh of his curvy lip; he tried hard to swallow the burning knot blocking his airways as he looked at the man been shattered by the pain he was trying so hard to withstand.

“Woo Bin-ah…” his voice broke in a sob as he reached for those big hands lying lifelessly on Woo Bin’s lap. He wrapped his fingers around Woo Bin’s cold hands and held them gently, almost as if he worried that they will also break into tiny pieces if he were to exert more pressure.

“From now on…” Woo Bin said, gaining more control over his voice, calming his pain to a bearable point, “The person saying these words is not Kim Woo Bin……but Kim Hyun-Joong” he looked at Jong Suk’s twinkling eyes full of tears, “Jong Sukie…” he whispered, “The person I have given my heart to…is not Yoo Ji Ahn”

Jong Suk’s eyes shot open, the twinkling tears broke free easily, then the stab behind his eyes were gone with the surprise invading his body.

“That person…” Woo Bin was saying again, “The person I love with all my heart…the person I want to give all myself to… is…”

Jong Suk felt his heart stop, his breath was held unknowingly; he has been able to bear the rumours of Woo Bin dating someone, he was able to handle the confession Woo Bin made when he revealed that he had a girlfriend, but hearing Woo Bin confess that he loves someone else with all his heart…Jong Suk knew it was something he couldn’t handle…something he never wanted to hear. Right now, all he wanted was to run away; break that closed door open and jump out of this freaking car and run until he is far away from Woo Bin, far enough that he will not hear a single word he says. But his body was numb to the point he couldn’t even lift a single finger let all running away. His heart was frozen that it had forgotten to beat; his breath was held that he felt his chest tighten as he ran out of oxygen.

“It is you, Jong Sukie…” Woo Bin’s words seemed to come from a faraway world, so hazy that he felt like he was submerged in water, those words goggling their way into his ear. What did he say…? Did I hear him say my name? Jong Suk felt his eyes twitch at the thought.

“W….What…?” he managed to open his mouth, though the rest of his body was still as cold as ice, in a frozen state.

Woo Bin smiled brightly at lost Jong Suk. “Babo, I said I love you” Woo Bin said loud enough for Jong Suk to hear it clear this time.  

P.S: Even though I know I'm going to regret this when tomorrow comes, instead of working on my dissertation I finished one more chapter. So, Guys, how was this? I don't know if this is good, but hope you guys like it.