Chapter 2 : Blocking You Out From My Life

Jong Suk closed his front door behind him and let out a sigh as he dumped his bag and jacket on the ground. He would pick those up later once his brain was fully functioning again. The entire morning he had been going through hell of a lot question that he never wanted to answer from the beginning, but the reporter from The Spotlight Magazine kind of just tossed him into the deep end there. Then there was Woo Bin. Really now? He just wanted to meet him? Now of all times, after he had betrayed their friendship? The whole situation seemed like some crazy fan fiction he would read online somewhere. Jong Suk just had to get used to it now. Perhaps it was time he forgot all this crap and started his life new from the scratch where there was no Woo Bin in his life, where there was no one-sided love in his life. He remembered when he was in the SBS Drama Award ceremony just last month. It had just ended and Woo Bin found his way to where Jong Suk was.

“Hey” Woo Bin broke the ice.

“Hey” Jong Suk replied, his eyes on Woo Bin’s shoulders as he tried hard to control his emotions.

“How have you been?” Woo Bin sounded softer than his usual self. He had glued his eyes on Jong Suk’s dark eyes. He felt those eyes wander their way from his head to toe and stop at his blond hair.

“I liked your brown hair better” He said all of a sudden, landing Jong Suk’s attention on him at last. “Finally” he said, catching Jong Suk’s eyes in his and not letting go of that gaze “you are looking at me now”

Jong Suk’s heart skipped a beat at the beautiful smile forming on Woo Bin’s soft lips. He dashed his eyes on to Lee Bo Young standing bit further behind Woo Bin. She caught his eyes and smiled brightly. Jong Suk let out a sigh of relief in his mind as Lee Bo Young approached them. He was saved…he thought as he wrapped his arms around his former co-star, pulling her into a hug.

“You look beautiful noona” he said, releasing her from his grip and giving her one of his most dazzling smiles.

“So do you” she said, eyeing him head to toe, “You look more beautiful than me. Isn’t that right?” she asked turning to Woo Bin.

“Yeah, he looks more beautiful than any girl I had seen” Woo Bin answered.

Is he having fun teasing me? Jong Suk wondered as he followed behind Bo Young, leaving Woo Bin standing where he was.

Since that day, Jong Suk hadn’t seen Woo Bin, actually it’s more like he had refused to see Woo Bin. He ignored all the calls, all the little greeting flooding into his inbox, the voice mail full of messages. He had restrained himself from listening to Woo Bin’s voice because it’ll only make him linger for long in that lonely feelings of love he had for that person. He didn’t have the courage to contact him, to speak as he always did with a smile in his voice. He feared he’d break down in front of him each time he saw him.

Plopping down on the sofa, Jong Suk untied his boots and tossed those over to his bag and jacket and stood back up with a stretch before sitting once more and pulling his phone out as he leaned back. Few more new text messages and two voice message alerts brightened the touch screen on his phone. He deleted all the voice messages without listening to a single one. Then opened his inbox; his heart hammered as his eyes landed up on the text log. With a sudden twitch his eyes scanned through the list, hands swiping the screen. He tapped on the first text—from Woo Bin.

Jong Suk, why didn’t you call me?

Are you alright? Where are you now?

Why didn’t you come to visit me?

Please pick up the phone.

Please, Jong Suk. Pick up the phone.

I miss you…

I’m waiting for your call….

Jong Suk lifelessly stared at the characters on the screen, eyes dull as he continued to swipe through the texts, reading only the messages from Woo Bin. He felt his heart lurch at the messages. If only Woo Bin wasn’t hers, he thought as he started deleting all the messages, one by one. The texts repeated with his worries and beg for Jong Suk to pick up his phone for the whole Sunday and he kept deleting them one after another.

This isn’t working, Jong Suk thought as he deleted another text from Woo Bin for the umpteenth time. He finally decided to block the number and he went into the shower once he had blocked Woo Bin’s number.

***

Woo Bin trudged across the living room, without bothering to hit the lights on; it felt easier to breath in the darkness. Darkness made it appear as if everything was just a dream—a nightmare he is having, but light would plunge the reality into him; he didn’t wish to engross that truth yet.

He flopped on the bed and let his body sink into the memory foam mattress. He slid his hand into the trouser pocked and dug out his mobile phone, dialled number 2 on his speed dial. The call rang just once and the automated voice came loud and clear “the number you have called is not available, please leave a voice message after the tone”. He disconnected the call and tried again, and again, and again, but only the automated voice answered him. He slammed the phone on the mattress and rustled his fingers through his hair. Why has Jong Suk been avoiding him for this long? He couldn’t help but wonder. What did I do? Does he hate me now? But why? Why wouldn’t he even talk to me? He used to tell me everything happening in his life…he used to call me every day when his schedule finished…he used to run to me right after his work has finished….he was pulled out of his railing thoughts by the sudden ringing of his phone. Is he finally calling? He felt a smile form on his lips as he snatched his phone and slid the answer button without bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls? Do you know how worried I was?” he felt his own voice soften than it should have, as if he was talking to a girl.

“I didn’t see any calls from you” a female voice came from the other end of the line. Woo Bin dashed his phone in front of his eyes; the screen read Yoo Ji Ahn. He let out a sigh and leaned the phone back against his ear.

“Sorry” he said. The softness in his voice long gone now, and the tiredness restored.

“Were you waiting for someone else’s call?” she asked, giggling as if she was a high school girl.  “Let me guess” she said before Woo Bin could answer, “Jong Suk, you were waiting for his call weren’t you?”

Woo Bin went silent for few seconds. “How did you know?” he managed to ask.

“When you are like this, it has always got to do with Jong Suk” she giggled again. Woo Bin felt sick at that high school girl like giggle. Jong Suk had the same kind of giggle, but he never felt sick of his giggle, he actually though it was cute.

“Why did you call?” he asked, wanting to hand up and throw the phone back on the bed.

“I was wondering if you had some free time tomorrow”

“Why?”

“I wanted to go on a date with you”

“I don’t know” he said, not bothering to hide the tone of annoyance hidden in his voice. “I’ll have to ask my manager”

“I already did” she hurried with her words, “you only have a morning photo-shoot and you got the rest of the day off.” she said, expectancy flooding in with her voice.

Woo Bin sighed, slightly because he was tired, but mostly because he was annoyed. Why would she call his manager without his permission? He thought but didn’t form it into words. Instead he said, “Okay then, I’ll call you after I finish”.

He hung up on her and fiddled through his phone. He lifelessly stared at the photos on the gallery, eyes dull as he continued to swipe through the photos, pausing only at the pictures of Jong Suk and staring for long minutes.