(Hyunwoo’s POV)

I watched her as she took small steps forward.  She was looking down on her phone.  Why didn’t I see it before?  She looks weaker.  She looks too tired. 

At that moment, she looked up and our eyes met… and she stopped.

I was expecting her to tear, to explain, to be angry, to…just show me something.  But instead she blankly looked at me, then looked past me, and started walking towards me again. 

Without stopping she started to walk past me.

Almost instantly, her name came out of my mouth, “Hanyoung-ah”

She continued on her way.

I reached down to grab her wrist softly.  “Kim Hanyoung.”

She paused.  And for a moment she stayed that way, but as if she knew I was about to say something, she turned to me and looked at me.

“Mianhae.  I’m tired.  Let’s do this another day okay?”  Slightly turning her wrist out of my grasp, she turned back around and walked towards her house.

And just like every other time, without a word, I watched her back as she walked away from me.

With a heavy sigh, I made my way back down the hill to my car.  I noticed a man wearing a doctor’s coat running towards me, passing me. 

---

(Jang Wooyoung POV)

As I reached the front door to Hanyoung’s house, I paused for a moment to recompose myself. 

Taking a breath, I knocked on the door. 

A minute or so later, the door opened exposing Hanyoung’s face.  She slightly smiled at me.

“Ah, I told you that you didn’t have to come.  Hold on, I’ll grab my coat and come outside.”

Without a word I nodded.

---

“Sorry about not inviting you in.  It seems like my father had a long day so he slept on the sofa.” Hanyoung sat down on the bench outside of her house as she motioned for me to join her. 

As I did, she handed me bottled water. 

“Hanyoung-shi” I started, “for tonight, stay home.  But tomorrow morning, I’ll come get you-”

“Dr. Jang” I stopped and looked at her upon her calling me name.  “No, Jang Wooyoung-shi.”

My heart skipped a beat.

Still looking in front she continued.  “What does the person Jang Wooyoung think about when he goes to sleep at night?”  She turned and looked at me, “Hm?”

 I looked down at the bottled water without a word.

“Lately,” her voiced started again after a pause. “I’ve been thinking about something I saw about a year ago.  It was the first day I found out about my health.  The first time I talked to my mom in over fifth-teen years…”

I saw her shift her body a bit.  “That day, I remember sitting at the bus stop after talking to my mom.  There was a bird there, in the mist of all these busy people.  But the bird didn’t fly away like all the other birds.  That bird… that bird had a broken wing.  Flying away just wasn’t possible.  So instead that bird stood on the side, by itself.  No other birds.”

My eyes shifted up to her face. Her eyes glistened a bit but no tears.

“Jang Wooyoung-shi, can you understand what I’m asking?” Hanyoung turned to face me again.

My heart felt heavy.

My lips parted, “I can’t… just turn the other way.  When there are still options for you.”

She looked down for a second and then back up.  “I’m not asking Dr. Jang.  I’m asking my friend, Jang Wooyoung.”

I sighed.  “Hanyoung-shi, no matter which person you ask, my answer is still going to stay the same.  I want to do everything I can to help you, even if you don’t want to help yourself.”

“Do I seem selfish to you?” Hanyoung asked.

Instantly, I could feel my hands start to shake.  My blood started to boil.  My lips started to tremble.

“No. To me, you’re not selfish at all.  If you were selfish you would do everything you can to survive instead of giving up.  Stop thinking about ‘what ifs’ and think about how to survive.  It would be easier to let the people you love and care return the favor.  Think about how they would feel if they couldn’t do anything for you at all.”  I stood up. “I’m going to take my leave, but I want you to know that I’m still coming tomorrow morning to bring you to the hospital.  If you don’t come quietly, I’m going to cause a ruckus and it will be up to you to explain to your father.”

With that I walked passed the front of her house and started down the path towards my car.

She will probably wonder why I said such things.  She would probably wonder why her doctor is so strange.  She might question my actions as a professional… …Did I…push it too far?

---

The next morning just like I told Hanyoung, I started towards her house. 

She was waiting at the bus stop.  I pulled my car over and when Hanyoung noticed, she smile and walked towards the car. 

Debating whether I should go out and open the door for her, she reached the door and opened it herself.

I hesitated.

As we started towards the hospital, she was quiet while looking out of the window. 

“About yesterday,” I started. “I’m sorry.”

From the side, I saw her turn towards the front window. “No, I should be the one who is sorry. And thankful.” She spoke in a mellow tone. “I thought about what you said. About the operation, I’ll tell you after I decide.”

“What?” I guess I should’ve expected it but I was a bit shocked. “You’re thinking of not going on with the operation?”

“Mm.” She nodded. “I’ll tell you by the end of the day, since deciding quicker is better.”

I let a heavy breath out as I pulled into the hospital parking lot.

When the car stopped, Hanyoung thanked me and told me she had to go first. 

Now I need to think of a plan B.  I have to persuade her to go on with the operation no matter what…

---

(Hyunwoo’s POV)

“Okay then, let’s meet at the side of the hospital in the evening; where the mini garden is. Just give me a call after you get out of work.”

That was easier than I thought.  Hanyoung agreed to meet up with me.

“Okay.”

So many things I need to ask her.  So many answers I need to receive. 

---

It was only 6PM and the sun was already going down.  The hospital garden was empty as I sat there.  One of the doors to the side of the hospital opened and Hanyoung walked out.  She walked over with a thin jacket on. 

She sat down next to me.  “Ask me.”

I looked at her stone hard expression.  “…why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was hard for me to.”

Her words felt so cold.  So emotionless.

“So… instead you broke up with me?”

“That was the conclusion I came up with after thinking it over.”

Every word, every breath, was stabbing at the middle of my chest.

“That simple?  After all the time we’ve spent together?”

She didn’t say anything for second, then she looked up at me.  “Hyunwoo, although we’ve known each other for a few years, we’ve only been officially together for about a year before I broke up with you.  I’ve been with Appa my entire life and I couldn’t even tell him.” Tears were started to cover the brim of her eyes.  “Couldn’t you understand from my point of view?  That it wasn’t simple.  But that this was the decision I made.”

“If you told me I would have helped you from the beginning.  You wouldn’t need to find a sponsor to pay for your surgery.  And the odds of surviving would have been greater at that time.”

She let out quick sigh and then stood up.  “I don’t want you or your company to help me.  I’m going to cancel the sponsoring.  That’s why I agreed to meet up with you.”

“What?!” I raised my voice and stood up as well.

Her head was hanging down and her body faced the hospital as if she was ready to leave any minute now.

“Yah, Kim Hanyoung!”

Automatically, she looked up at me.  She had tears running down her face.  “Please,” she sobbed.  “I know. I know that I’m selfish.  And that I’m mean, for doing this to you.  I know all of that.  But I don’t want you to be by my side and then at the end I just leave you.”

I felt a tear fall down my right cheek.  And then my left.

“I know you want to help me.  I know that.”  Her tears kept falling.  “But how can I just take things from you like that?  I don’t want to be like my mom.  I won’t be like her.  I want to live.  I want to be healthy.” She paused from her sobbing.  “But I can’t help it. Hyunwoo-ah, I’m already at nearing stage four.  I’m going to die.”

Without being able to do anything else, I reach for her shoulders and pulled her into my arms. 

“Please, don’t make me become like her.  Don’t make me take things from you and then leave.” I heard her muffles as she leaned against my chest.  “I want to leave protecting the ones I love.  Can’t you do that for me? Hm?”

My heart cried ten more times with every tear drop that fell from that woman’s eyes.  And for some reason, a part of me had hope that she became icy cold again.  A part of me wished that, that façade was how she really felt in the inside. 

I didn’t know what to say.  I didn’t know how to help her except for giving her exactly what she didn’t want. It was unbearable to see, to hear, to feel it all.

All of it... the confessions of her reality.