I eat up and fix myself. Forget about that conversation, I thought. If it’s not a big deal, then it’s not a big deal. I open the door and pick up my tray. I head out the door and use my feet to close my door. I walk to where the sink is and to where I chatted with Mrs. Jung a while ago. I see her there, of course, doing the dishes.

“Mrs. Jung,” I say and she turns to me with a shocked face but smiles afterwards.
“Oh, Joo-yeon. Here, let me have that,” she says, getting the tray.
“Ah, anni. I want to wash it myself.”
“No, that conversation a while ago was funny but I won’t buy that now … Well, if ever you’ll try to bring it up,” and I release the tray. “Why weren’t you able to join us during lunch?”
“Oh, that. I slept through lunch. Mianhaeyo, ahjumma. I’ll be at dinner tonight. And I’ll be at all eating time, may I say.”
“That’s okay,” she says, giggling. Even in her age, she sounds young in her laughter.
“Uhm, I’ll leave you first. I promised Kai, I mean my boss that I’ll come to the school after lunch.”
“Finally! He’s been acting crazy because he’s not actually sure with what to do with the place. Boys… don’t just easily fit designing interiors.”
“I know. So, with that, I think you’re going to say that I should go?”
“Hmmm… How did you know that?” she says, showing me a very bright face that I have to smile myself.

“Mommy! it’s time to go!” I hear Kai’s voice. I turn to see him running towards me.
“You should go, dear,” Mrs. Jung says, lightly touching my arm.
“Ne, I’ll see you later,” I smile. I walk to meet Kai when he stop and bows down to recognize Mrs. Jung’s presence.
“Finally, you can help me. Now, don’t get yourself injured, okay?” And he grabs me by my arm and walks me towards a plank bridge.

“A bridge?” I ask him.
“Obviously. I didn’t want yesterday to happen, even if it’s a happy memory. It’s better to be safe, okay?” and he climbs up. He holds up his hand for me to take and I did. As I stand up in front of him, I can’t but not think of what I just saw in a millisecond. It was that fast yet I saw it.
“Ah, ottoke?” I whine. I want to tell him about it but I just can’t I think it’s too personal. But I think it’s better that it’ll come from me. How is it better if it comes from me?
“Wae? Gwenchanayo?”
“I’m fine…. Uhm… How do I say this? Ommo~na!” I end up saying.
“What is it? You’re making me crazy,” he says holding my arm. “We can’t go to the school if you’re like this. Tell me, what is it?”
“Mr. Kim,” I whisper.
“You’re being too formal, mommy.”
“Mr. Kim!” I squish my face in between my hands because I’m too shy to tell him.
“What? Will you just tell me so you can get over it?”
“Arasso. Mr. Kim, your zipper’s open,” I say straightforwardly so I can actually get over it. I look at him while biting my left pointer.
“Mohae?” he asks in disbelief.
“Your fly is open,” and he crouches down to zip up. “That’s why I’m shy to tell you. It’s a bit embarrassing to tell you about it. No, it’s really embarrassing to tell you. But you’re welcome anyway,” and my last sentence came out comical.

His face is written with embarrassment, I can tell.
“That’s okay. Something like that happens at least once in our life. You’ll get over it,” I say, walking ahead.
“Seriously, if you were a guy like me I would’ve laugh it with you. But you’re a girl; of course I’ll be embarrassed”
“That’s really fine! Don’t feel horrific about it. And, you should’ve thank me anyway.”
“Why?”
“Is that really even a question? Okay, if it weren’t for me, you would’ve been walking around with your zipper open, letting people see what they shouldn’t. Now, will I get my thank you?”
“Hmmm … Wait, did I hear it right?” he stops me by grabbing my arm.
“What?”
“So, you saw what you shouldn’t see?” his eyes widen with taunting.
“Mohae? No! What the? Ergh…. What are you saying? Argh … I shouldn’t have told you about that. You’re so annoying!” I say, walking fast. Okay, I was caught off-guard with that.

“What? Seriously? He’s making me crazy!” I mumble as I walk and gesture around.
“Wait up, mommy!” I hear Kai’s voice.
“Wait up your face!” I shout at him. I’m filled with disbelief that I’m embarrassed and I can’t believe I’m smiling like crazy in this kind of situation. I run my hands through my hair and happy that I reached dry land fast.

“Mommy! Wait!” and I look behind me. Some things just really backfires at you even if you did a probable right thing.
“Mommy, are you mad?” he asks, and … Oh dear, I’m melting inside. He’s appearing cute with a little pout. No, don’t let your guard down Joo-yeon. Never ever let it down.
“Mad? Am I mad? Kai … you’re byuntae (erted)!!! How can I not be mad when I did you a favor you didn’t actually ask yet you tried to make fun of me.”
“But I warned you about this. About this foolishness of mine … so, why did you…” and I cut him off.
“Because I want to change that.  I don’t want you to treat me the way you treated others. I am not like your foolish slave who you can make fun of. I am not that kind of person. And because you said so yourself what kind of person you are, I want you to be different …good different. Even if you warn me about things, I won’t listen as if I’m deaf. I have a hard head. I don’t just back down.”
“Why do you want to change me?”
“I don’t know. Something tells me I can and I should,” I tell him, calming down.
“Not because you can, you should.”
“I know that.”
“Then why?”
“Because I care about you. I don’t know why I care about you. I think I just do,” I say, avoiding his stare. “Don’t ask me for reasons because I won’t be able to answer you.”

   I am conscious I said that. I don’t need another moment of digging in my memory to remember what I said. I mean this. It’s real, genuine. I do care for him, although I don’t know why.

“Joo-yeon, I’m sorry,” he says, his voice is deep, but warm and soft.
“Nah … it’s okay. I made it into a big deal again. I should be sorry,” I sigh. “I am mercurial, am I not? I find it hard to understand myself, well, because of all the crazy things happening in my life. I don’t want to get started with my flashbacks so I’ll get over this right now,” I smile.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I’m really sorry.”
“Kai, get over it! Come on, we got a school to design to inspire,” I say, making “to design to inspire” a cheery tone.
“Joo-yeon … you’re words … how you make them into a sentence …”
“What? It’s my way of expression … That’s how I put it.”

I walk ahead and enter the school. I am in for a surprise.
“Wow! Nothing changed! So, what did you do yesterday, huh? In my absence? Is it hard to work without me?”
“Psshhh …. I pondered. I thought of things. And hey, the items… the things… tables and chairs… they came yesterday. And you weren’t there,” he say, teasing.
“Okay,” I say smiling then turn back.

I look for something to sketch with so I can get started with my mural. Pencils won’t work. I found a chunk of charcoal and get it. This would do.

“What are you doing?” Kai asks when I start to write on the wall. His tone is rather shocked.
“What do you think? I’m sketching. Didn’t you tell me to?”
“I did but I didn’t actually mean it that way.”
“Well then, should I continue or should I not?” I ask, placing my hand on my waist.
“Well, you should. With your hand on your waist like that … I know what it means.”
“Really? How come you know what it means?”
“I have two noona’s and yeah… they’re caring but can be annoying like you.”
“Hmmm… good to know,” and I turn to the wall and continue with my sketch. “It’s hard to understand why you seem to not know women and then know them. You have two sisters who can probably make things easier for you to deal with girls. But then, what do I really know?” I say picking up the chunk of charcoal that just fell from my hand.
“Girls are really hard to understand. I don’t really even know myself.”
“Then I shall try to understand you,” he says.

I look at him. What is he trying to imply?
“Not just you. well, all girls. Maybe you could shed light about how girls live.”
“Is this like GIRLS 101?” I laugh.
“Yeah, you can say that. A little understanding will lead to acceptance.”
“Hm? I don’t really get you with that. Anyway, where do you want to start? What do you want to know?”
“Things … I’m not sure. Where do you want to start?”
“Hmm… I’ll just randomly get into it. Okay, first … Honestly, I think we are immature. We are grown babies. We are attention-seeking, really. Some may say that they are not. But leave them alone, they’ll try to get you to notice them.”
“You’re not like that. Well, as of what I see now.”
“No… not really. I always tend to seek attention when I would feel empty. I can get depressive if I’m left alone. I have history so I think you get me. Anyway, this is not about me, but about girls.”
“You get depressive?”
“Yeah. Stop interrupting. I’ll contin…,” and he cut me off again.
“I’ll make you happy,” he says straightforwardly. “I’ll at least try to make you happy.”

    Jeez…  I’m crammed inside. No swarming butterflies, please. I try to suppress a smile by hiding my lips, tucking them in. I breathe in and breathe out.
“What’s with that look?” he asks, his brows creasing.
“Second, we are shallow. We are shallow. I…ah…. Uhm…. Ottoke?”
“Why? Is something wrong?”
“We are shallow like this,” I point to myself, stuttering as I do. “We get swayed easily without getting deep into the emotion. We get overwhelmed too easily. With simple details, we make things complicated.”
“Do you?”
“Do I? Of course, I do. I’m shallow, like this; that’s why I made myself as an example.”
“Wait, you stopped sketching.”
“I did? Well, this part… the shallow thing… It’s complex. I need elaboration to make you understand that part in girls. And … you cut me off. Why wouldn’t I stop what I’m doing if you cut me off?”
“Point taken. You’re shallow?”
“Yes. What?” I look at him blankly. What did he say?
“Nothing,” he laughs shaking his head.
“Ya! That’s unfair. What did you say? Okay… this… we are easily tempered. Unless there is an acceptable reason for the things you do, we won’t let you slip through. We have to at least know a thing or two about how or why dot, dot, dot.”
“Dot, dot, dot?” he smiles.
“Yeah, ellipsis. When you can just fill it with things you think about because there is something else that really comes after the sentence but the one saying it can’t say it.”
“I know that. You don’t have to really explain it,” he smiles.
“Well …, I thought you might need a little enlightenment,” I say, trying to manipulate his brain to tell that, yes, he needs enlightenment.
“Hmmm… Maybe I needed a little enlightenment. Anyway, is there anything else that you need? I’m heading out to town for a while to buy food for us and the villagers.”
“Need? Like …” YOU.   

“Wait, what?” I utter. Did he say something?
“What? Why did you suddenly cringe? Is there something that you need that it ends up being horrific?”
“Uhm … No, I don’t know. You … ahh… go. You go where you should go. Okay? I’m okay!?”

He looks at me with brows creasing and taking a few steps back.
“Okay,” he slowly says, “I should go. See you later!” And he walks away.
“What? What’s wrong with me? Why? Why did I say I’m okay? He doesn’t need to know if I’m okay or not,” and I take my face in between my face out of embarrassment.
“And by the way, I think I have the right to ask … Why are you stuttering again? You’re really starting to get the hang of liking me, aren’t you?” His head pops out at the door with him smiling widely as if taunting me is pure happiness.
“Mohae? Ya! Mr. Kim!” I run towards him and he runs away.

He hops in his car and drives away.

“Aish… This guy! All he does is make me crazy!” and I turn back to continue my sketching.

Kai’s POV:

“Mohae? Ya! Mr. Kim!” she shouts and runs after me. I run away, quickly as I can. Good thing, I got my car prepared earlier and I pop myself inside and start the engine. I look at the side mirror and see her walk back in the school. I smile at myself. That was a good play, I thought.

I get down the car to do my so-called shopping. I randomly get ramen and other things. They’ll probably find a way to cook with everything, ‘because I don’t. What looks delicious is what I get. I guess I really know nothing about these things. As I pass the soap and shampoo section, I come across some pads. Feminine pads. Maybe Joo-yeon needs these things since she’s a girl. It’s a necessity for them. I remember my two noona’s asking me to buy them these when we are at our family outing since they forgot about these. Maybe she’ll thank me or slap me. I hope for the first one.

When I reach the counter, the female cashier looks at me when she reaches for the pad. Her brows creases and she might be suspecting that I’m a tomboy. Jeez… I don’t have feminine features.

“Yeoja chingu,” I say simply.
She nods and just scans the item. I smile at the thought. She packs everything and hands me the receipt. I get the bag; go outside and put it in my car. I set off back to the village.

Yeoja chingu, maybe I like her that much that I can claim that she’s my girlfriend without her knowledge. I bite my fingers, maybe I’m dreaming when I said that. But I wince so maybe not. It’s real that I said that. Anyway, she’ll never know. Girls 101, as she point it. Where would she be if she was with me at the grocery? She’ll be probably at the easily tempered stage since I told the cashier girl that she’s my girlfriend. Or she’s at the shallow stage, thanking me with my sudden care of buying her a necessity. Oh, what do I know? I’m making conclusions again!

I reach the village and pull up at the corner of the road. I see Joo-yeon sitting at the school’s doorstep, scribbling on the soil with a twig. I walk to her, holding my grocery on my arms. I stand in front of her and try to make out what she’s scribbling.

“Oh?” I hear her gasp and she stands up and passes her feet over the soil and her scribbles disappear. I look at her and her hands are at her back. “You’re back! that was fast!”
“Well, I really don’t know what to get so I just randomly get things that I think goes together,” I say, suddenly shy about that.
“Aish… you just wasted money in that case. You should’ve just let me go with you. Now, let me have that,” she releases the twig she’s holding and reaches for the bag. She enters the school and I follow suit. She puts the bag on the table and one by one takes out the items I bought.

“Seemingly and amazingly, you bought things that can go well with each other. And…. Mo?” she utters. Oh! I almost forgot about that. I should not focus on her or else I’ll end up losing focus on other things. “What’s this soft thing?”

And she lifts up her hand and reveals the pads. Her brows are creased and she’s only looking at me with the pads high up in the air.
“What’s this … doing here? I mean… you can’t eat this. I thought you said you bought items that you think goes well with each other?”
“Well,” and I guess I’m up for explaining. “I…ah… bought that because you’re a girl.”
“Okay?” and she puts the pads down. I feel the uneasiness in her voice. It’s really awkward when a guy talks about these things with girls.
“You know, I mean, I’ve got two noona’s and they have those days. I thought you might do too, because you’re a girl.”
“Of course I do have those days. Thanks, because I think it’s coming up since I start having these eruptions on my face. And I think I forgot to check my calendar so yeah, I really need this and I forgot to pack up on this stuff,” she suddenly turns shy and I can see a faint blush across her cheeks.

“It’s gotten into you,” I tease.
“What got into me?”
“The awkwardness about that thing in girls,” I explain; a sly smile on my lips and I’m completely aware of that.
“Well, it’s a bit personal, you know? Guys, more often than not, feel disgusted when people talk about that.”
“I don’t. I mean, even if I didn’t listen to my Biology class, it’s a natural phenomenon in you.”
“It’s good that you understand,” she turns, smiling.
“But I do have a question,” I tell her. I wanted to ask someone about this, but nobody ever answered me.
“What is that then?”
“How is it possible that you’re still alive after bleeding a lot for a week or more for irregular people? Isn’t that just plain gore?” I finally ask out of plain curiosity.

She stares at me as if pondering. She looks to the right and then around. Will she be able to find the answer if she looks around? That’s plain crazy.
“That’s…. something I can’t answer. You’re good! You got me into thinking about something I never thought before. Anyway, I really don’t know. You’re really right; how am I still alive after bleeding for days? But talking medically, this is our way of removing waste or dirty blood. As we lose it, our body creates new blood cells. But the not-dying thing, I know nothing about that.”
“I guess that’s why girls are like ‘magical’,” and my hand gestures around.
“Okay?” she says with an awkward smile on her face. She giggles, a soft one and it sounds heavenly. She looks at me smiling and shaking her head.
“What?” I ask her.
“Nothing. I think you’re crazy. Even if you have two noona’s, it would be really awkward to ask another girl about it. Why not ask them?”
“Nah. It would just turn out sensual since they know me too much and they like it when they make me gross out.”
“What?” and it came out a scream. “I mean, why? That’s weird, so weird. Your noona’s do that?”
“Of course they do. They got some dirty mouth just because they got themselves settled.”

She laughs at me and turns away.
“It’s almost lunch time. I’ll just get the mural finished later after we eat. Come, help me bring it to Mrs. Jung so she can cook us lunch,” and she hands me a bag and got her own bag. She walks out of the school and I follow. Other men are outside, making the finishing touches on the furniture.

I go ahead and help Joo-yeon up the bridge by offering her my hand,  but she shakes her head and walks ahead.
“Mommy, I’m being a gentleman! How can you do that?”
“Do what?” the sound of taunting is evident in her voice.
“Ignore me. Or at least my act of a gentleman.”
“Well, you’ve got a load to carry. What if that falls down as you help me up? I can handle myself, I’ll tell you when I need help, okay? Just go! Go on! Go! People are going to starve with your sluggishness,” she tells me.
“Sluggish? Who are you calling sluggish?”
“The snail!” she shouts.
“You don’t need to shout. So, you’re saying I’m a snail?”
“Did I say you are a snail? I didn’t, right?”
“You said snails are sluggish and you said I’m sluggish. So, you’re saying I really am a snail?”
“Ya! I said I didn’t say that! You! Why does it feel like that you’re always picking a fight with me?” she suddenly asks, the fall on the intonation in her voice tells me she’s not happy with it.
“I’m not trying to pick up a fight with you. I’m trying to be comical. I think you’re not getting the humor in it,” I tell her.
“I do get the humor but you make me feel bad. As if I’m the bad guy.”
“Let’s just drop this,” and that’s a girl’s sentence. She looks at me and nods.

We continue walking until we get to dry land. Not a word was spoken, none at all. Cold air is rushing again between us. I could’ve just accepted what she said. I could really be sluggish at some times. We hand over the ingredients to Mrs. Jung and the other mothers there that help her cook for everyone. Joo-yeon walks back to the house and I guess she’s going to keep her pads.