I just got off from the car with the kids and Sooyoung. Yes, I said kids. It's been years now that the divorce had been finalized and its been 3 years ever since i can lawfully call Sooyoung as my wife. After 6 months after our marriage, Sooyoung announced that she's pregnant.

~Flashback.

Early in the morning one day...

I was awaken by the a loud shriek from our master bedroom toilet. I got off from the covers and knocked on the wooden toilet door. Feeling worried all over afraid something bad had happened to Sooyoung in the toilet. "Sooyoung!!! Open up! Are you okay in there?!" There was not sound coming from the toilet and i was getting more anxious then before. I was afraid she slipped while getting off from the shower. I raised my fist once again; ready to knock the door once again. Suddenly, the door flung opened and instead of knocking the door i was knocking Sooyoung's forehead!

"Ouch! Oppa!~" She whined in pain. 

"Oh!" I said startled and shocked by my unintentional actions. I rubbed her forehead, feeling guilty. I, then, enveloped my arms around her body; relieved that the assumptions and worst case scenerio that popped in my head didn't happened. "M-mianhae.." I said, still having her in my embrace. We broke the hug and i continued, "I thought something bad happened to you while being in the toilet. I knocked the door several times and you didn't give any respond and you were shrieking. So, i was worried-.." I was being cut off from finishing my never ending explaination that i did in one breath when her lips touched mine. I closed my eyes; enjoying the blissful moment under the morning light that seeped in from the window of our bedroom. Sooyoung pull her lips away from mine and i opened up my eyes in an instant; ready to continue my lecture. However, my train of thoughts on what to lecture about flew out of the window when i saw her smile. The smile that was different from the usual smile that she gave me everyday before we set off to work and before we sleep or even when we spend time together. The smile that hid a thousand words. I was curious on why she was smiling ever so widely. 

"Wae? Does my bed hair look really bad?"

"Ani."

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

She held up a white stick next to her face. At first glance, i thought it was a thermometer. So, i didn't take her actions seriously. Deep inside i was laughing confusely on why she was excited over a thermometer. Maybe because she was healthy and not having any fever. But that doesn't make any sense at all. That's ridiculous. I reached out for the "Thermometer" and i realized that there was not a single digit in on it. Theres only lines. 

"Sooyoung, i can't believe you are playing with fake thermometers... I was awaken by your loud shriek thinking you slipped and hit your head. I was worried. Maybe it's true your head was hit when you slipped, just now."

The smile that she wore across her flawless face disappear almost immediately. She furrowed her eyebrows and opened to say, "Yah! Oppa... You are a degree holder and a CEO of a company now but still... you are such a Pabo." 

"What did you just say?" 

"Hmm,.. Nothing. Yah, you're right its a fake thermometer and i was excited for nothing. I thought you would too but you aren't. It's okay." She took the "thermometer" from my hand and walked off from the room to the kitchen. 

"What's up with her today?" I said to myself and i used the toilet to freshen up. I was ready to take off my shirt and dunk it in the laundry basket when i saw boxes scattered all over the sink table top. I shook my head at how messy my wife could be nowadays. Picking up those empty box throwing it into the trash bin at the side; only to realize that i missed one empty box on the floor. I bent down and i read what it was. It's not a box for thermometers, its for Pregnancy test! Ohmygod! The scenes of a few moments ago played on my mind and its as if something took over my body, i flung opened the bathroom door and ran down the stairs to the kitchen. 

There stood Sooyoung cooking for breakfast with Yungeon at the kitchen island watching his pororo on the ipad while waiting for his breakfast. Once i stood behind Sooyoung. I backhugged her and she was startled at my sudden snaky action that i did with my arms around her waist and lastly landing my palm to her stomach.

"Sooyoung-ah..." I said with a wide grin.

"Hehe, arasoo.. Araso"

I turned her body to face me. 

"So, you found out?"

"Yes and i am sorry for not being more attentive. I was such a pabo. I should have realized what it was when you showed me! Sorry for this late expression that you've been waiting for.. Mianhae"

"Gwenchanna. Now that you are here; knowing that theres going to be an arrival of someone soon. That's all that matters." My hand still on her stomach; carressing the non-existing bump still. I bend down and speak to her stomach.

"Baby, grow up quickly, daddy and mummy can't wait to hold you. You have either an oppa or a hyung here. He's also excited to see you."

"Siwon daddy, why are you talking to mummy's stomach?" I was interrupted by a voice from my left. He paused for awhile and contemplate what to say next. Then, he continued with his eyes widen, "Ohmygod! Mummy's stomach have a mouth now to answer Siwon Daddy!" I looked up to Sooyoung and Sooyoung began to laugh at Yungeon's expression. 

"Ani.. yungeon-ah." I couldn't contain my chuckle and excitement to tell him that he will have a dongsaeng soon. "Mummy's stomach doesn't grow a mouth to answer Siwon daddy.Mummy's stomach now have baby dongsaeng in it."

"Baby dongsaeng?" Yungeon asked while slanting his head. 

"Ne. Aren't you excited Yungeon-ah?"

There was a moment of silence. My head nearly dropped when Yungeon didn't move. But it began to soothed when a smile grew wider on his face and she shrieked. "OF COURSE!" He got off from his chair and stood in front of Sooyoung, facing her stomach. "Anyeong, my dongsaeng-ie."

I was over flowing with happiness that almost immediately i hugged and kissed Yungeon non-stop due to his adorableness and cuteness. I can't believe still now my family is going to complete. Theres Sooyoung, Yungeon and a baby. After getting ready and eating breakfast we went to Seunghyun's hospital for a check up and to meet Tiffany who had just came back from her long maternity leave. She brought her baby to work today. Can't wait to see Erika whose in her 6th months.

---------------------------------------------------End of flashback.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kids, don't run! Be careful!" Sooyoung warned them. They came to a stopped at the usual place. We always came here every once a month after going to the church. Yungeon put the bouquet of flowers down his brother and him had with them. Both of them knelt down. Every single time whenever i see them in that position, it just touches my heart and bring tears to my eyes. I don't want to lie sometimes, the feelings were too overwhelming that i just couldn't contain my feelings and just let those threatening tears escaped; one or two. 

"Daniel daddy, last week was Yungeon's birthday. Siwon daddy and Mummy threw Yungeon a birthday party. Everyone came. Minseo and Taesoo gave big presents for Yungeon. There were cake and games."

Yes, we are at the cemetry. This is the place that was never foreign to us a family. Today is Daniel's death anniversary. He wanted us to get married and his only son to forget him but what type of a human would i be if i were to fulfill that especially when i found out about the truth that he managed to hid so well before he left for the second time with the divorce papers and document on the table in the Lee's household. 

~Flashback

In a few day's time, Sooyoung and i will be an official wedded husband and wife. The final touches for the wedding are already done and things started to feel surreal. We were having our last meet up with the wedding organiser. Yes, i know.. My wife is an event organiser and had plenty of experience in doing weddings but everyone insisted on not letting her taking the responsibility of organising the wedding under her wing. Suddenly, Sooyoung phone bleeped. 

"Yeoboseyo? Hmm, ne. ani. hmm. okay then. we'll just meet you there. Alright, Lauren shi. ye. Kamsahamnida." With that, she put down her phone and shifted her attention towards me. 

"Who is it?"

"It's Lauren. You remember her, right? She was the one who came over to the house when Daniel left to talked about the business."

"Yes." How can i forget about her. She is the flight neighbour that i once had. It's a mere coincidence but it made me realized that this world is wide but not that wide for me to get away from you. I was trying to let go of you but still people who i met along the way will somehow have some kind of relation with you. I guess i can never run away from what was written. 

"She asked us to meet her in the hospital."

"Huh?! Why?"

"I am not sure either."

Once we reached the hospital, Lauren could be seen at the entrance waiting for our arrival. 

"Thank you for coming."

"Lauren shi, what is happening? Why in all places that we have in Korea, we have to meet in the hospital." 

"I need you to meet someone. Just follow me." 

We walked up the large stairway and through the long corridor only to stop in front of a door with a smile glass panel at the side. Our eyes widen when we see who was in the ward and on the hospital bed. 

"It's daniel, Sooyoung shi."

"What are you....?" I knew what she was thinking as i saw the sparkled that was in her eyes. She knew and she had a rough idea of what Lauren was about to say. 

"Sooyoung shi, Daniel never left you in the first place. He was always there during the times when you thought he did. He was always around. He went to Yungeon's nursery to take a look at him but never had the courage to go in and reached out for him. He left at first because he found out about the cancer cells have spread once again and there was no cure anymore. He was in his last stage. No surgery can be done. I knew i came back from London to the house to talk about the unfinished business. Its not totally because of business. It was because he wanted to get into the house to see you. He was in the area. He missed you and i helped him to get a closer look of you from the yard."

"He came back before he left again. He said that his medical document was exchanged with someone else... and that he had-"

"An accident?" Lauren asked. Sooyoung nodded. 

"That was a lie Sooyoung shi.. He did that to cover the fact that the cancer cell had spread to his eyes and he lost his left sight. He used the walking stick not because he couldn't walk properly. He couldn't walk properly not because he had an accident either. But rather he couldn't walk properly because he couldn't see. He couldn't see because of his illness and he lied because he didn't want to spend his last few days with you worrying about him and to ask all sorts of questions that he could never bring himself to answer."

"So, you knew from the begining?" I said. 

"Yes. He was the one who planned everything from the diary, to the restaurant and to the flight. To see if you are the right one to take his place; not only as a husband of Sooyoung shi but as a father of Yungeon in case something were to happen to him. He saw the symptoms coming and he knew his illnesses was back" My eyes widened in shocked when i heard the word, "Diary."

"Sooyoung, i can explain..-" I turned to Sooyoung. 

"It's okay oppa. I knew about you reading my diary. It was too obvious when you tried to give it back. You put it in the same paper bag of Yungeon's toy present that you gave on his 3rd birthday."

"So, you are not angry?"

She just shook her head as a reply. 

"Daniel shi, didn't want me to tell anyone about this. Even Tiffany shi, his bestfriend was not aware about his condition. But i think i should alert you during 'only god knows' his last days on earth, about his condition. I think you need to know the truth before he leaves."

Tears stray away from Sooyoung's eyes as she couldn't believe that all this time, she had believe lies. The things that she thought was the truth was no more than a huge lie to just cover up about something serious. 

"C-can we get in?" I asked.

"Yes. But please, you need to know that Daniel shi had lost both of his sight and he can't see the both of you."

Sooyoung grabbed my hand and i intertwined my fingers with her. She gave me an questionable look. I nodded, trying to assure her that its okay and that right now, Daniel needs us. 

Lauren knocked the door and the three of us enter. 

"Daniel shi~ How are you?"

"I am fine to day, Lauren shi. How's the office?"

"It was okay." She answered him while eyeing at us to take a seat at the couch. 

"You are not alone here, aren't you?"

"Nope. I am with 2 of my friends that wants to pay you a visit. Theres Jennifer and her husband Eric."

He began to bow his head slightly. "Oh, thank you for visiting me. I'm sorry for not being able to look presentable today. I'm Daniel."

He reach out his hand for a hand shake. Sooyoung and I went closer to his bed, grabing his hand which was pointing to the wrong position. 

Sooyoung began to eye to Lauren; trying to play along with the characters that had been set by her. "I am J-"

"S-sooyoung?" A moment of silence illuminate the atmosphere. 

"Lauren-shi. I told you not to tell anyone. You and i made a pact and now you lie! How could you?!"

"Daniel shi...I.."

"NO STOP! All of you get out of here!!" He swung his arms everywhere wanting everyone to get away from him. Anger, frustration and hurt was clearly shown in his eyes and facial expression. However, his arms action halted in mid air when Sooyoung's voice was heard. 

"Daniel, no you stop.. It's enough. You lied for my happiness. I hated you when you left me and Yungeon for your first departure. I thought i was the one who sacrificed my whole life for your sake but the truth is..." She paused, trying to not choke on her own words. "...the truth is you're the one who sacrificed your whole life for me. You let me be happy even when you are suffering alone. You told Siwon oppa and me to get married and to take care of Yungeon; to tell Yungeon that Siwon is his real father. You told us to forget that you used to be a chapter of our lives. You lied about the accident. I thought i could despise you for lying but i couldn't. Not when my ex-husband. No,no..my bestfriend since i was still a kid needs me more than anything." She looked at me. And i nodded my head. She reached out for Daniel and embrace him into a comforting hug. "Daniel, I am sorry. I am sorry for being a person and a bestfriend that couldn't be there for you when you needed me. You are and always will be Yungeon's father no matter where you are or how you are. I am sure Yungeon will be proud to have a father like you who always put others ahead of him." Numerous tears escaped from his eyes freely and onto Sooyoung Shoulder. The tears of fear and pain that he tried to elude from his heart peeled itself when Sooyoung said those words. They broke the hug and Sooyoung turned to me for an embrace; trying to hide her sobbing from Daniel in my chest. 

"Daniel shi... If it isn't too much to ask, do you mind being my best man at the wedding on the Sunday after next?"

"I thought you will never ask." He said while wiping the tears away from his face.

"Are you sure, Daniel shi?" Lauren asked. 

"Yes, I am sure."

During the wedding, the wedding ceremony music starts and the big wooden door opened revealing the bridesmaid and lastly, my bride. Sooyoung was wearing the elegent wedding dress that her mother and her had picked the other day. She looked like a goddess and the lighting that shone from the chandelier compliments her beauty and made her glow ever more. My best man, Daniel, stood next to me. He was standing in his tux and his walking stick and a fedora on his head. Seunghyun, too, was standing in the line with daniel. He whispered to Daniel on how Sooyoung looked from the altar. Once she reached the altar, the official ceremony started. 

"I, Andrew Choi Siwon, take you as my lawfully wedded wife and a lifelong partner; loving you, accepting you as you are and will always cherish you. I can't wait to grow old with you and make more meaningful memories with you and our small family. I will be yours in times of not only the good but the bad; in times of plenty and wants, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumpth. Hold on to this.. I promise to cherish and to respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and to encourage you and to stay with you for eternity."

"I, Summer Choi Sooyoung, take you as my lawfully wedded husband and a lifelong partner, loving you and accepting you as you and will always cherish you. I would like to apologized for the times where you've waited and you got hurt because of me and my choice. I want to say thank you for holding onto me like how the earth holds onto the promise of the sun to bring sunshine every single day. From now on, you can hold onto my word that i will be yours in times of not only the good but the bad; in times of plenty and wants, in times of sickeness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triuphth. I promise to love and cherish you, respect you, care , comfort and to encourage you. I want to grow old with you being your wife and to stay by your side for all eternity because i don't know where else i would rather be." 

"I'll annouce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I flipped up the veil that covered her magestic face and let my lips to touch hers. Everyone were cheering and where throwing flower petals towards us but after we broke the first kissed as an official newly weds, our attention was shifted to our sides as all the visiter were in shocked to see Daniel collapsed to the floor of the altar. His nose were bleeding and Seunghyun was to shocked to even do anything. Tiffany who was in the crowd with Lauren quickly got up to the front. I got to my knees next to Daniel. Sooyoung too was on her knees; she called out for Yungeon to get up to his Dad. Sooyoung, Lauren and Tiffany were in tears and their panicking sobs could be heard as they were afraid that it was time.

Time to say goodbye. 

But through the nose bleed, he managed to smile and say, "Hey.. You shouldn't cry. Today is your day, you should be happy. You got the wedding that you wanted and the wedding that we never could have when we got married years ago."

"Don't speak, Daniel."

"Siwon shi, take care of Sooyoung and Yungeon for me."

"Don't worry, daniel. I will." i said while tapping his chest.

"Fany-ah, mianhae.."

"Haiz, this pabo! I said don't speak already!" She said in the middle of her tears. 

"Yungeon, give daddy bobo.." i told Yungeon and he did what he was told.

"Kamsahaeyo, my son. Daddy, will always love you, you..." he paused to cattch on his breath. "..know, right?"

"Daniel..."

"Lauren, Thank you for everything. You are now free."

"Oh, that's great then." Lauren said while fighting her tears. She smile with tears still flowing down her face. 

"Saranghae.."

"Nado saranghae, Daniel shi." Lauren hang onto his hand and both party grip hard.

Lauren bent down to kissed his lips for the last time. As moment passed, the grip that at first was tightly hang onto, now being weaken. When Lauren got up from her position and tears was no longer controlled. We knew he was gone. He left. At that moment, i saw how broken Lauren was. Tifanny went to Seunghyun for refuge; not wanting to look at Daniel's body as she knew that her bestfriend was no longer with her. Sooyoung was hugging and hanging onto the confuse Yungeon and i couldn't do anything and say anything at all. I was devastated as how much loss the girls in front of me must have felt. I only managed to wrapped my arms around the body of my crying wife and a confused son that was by my side. 

The day that was suppose to end happily was soon covered with sadness due to a loss of a dear friend, ex-husband and a father. Daniel-shi, it's time for you to rest and don't worry about things here. I'll take care of it. Thank you for everything. You'll be missed.

----------------------------------------End of flashback--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yesyes.. Daniel daddy, before hyung's birthday, His front tooth dropped of and he cried when Siwon daddy brought him to the dentist. hahah!" The younger one started to tease.

"Yah! How can you tell Daniel daddy that. So embarresing. Mianhae, Daniel daddy. From now on, Yungeon will be brave to go to the dentist. Promise!" He bent down to kiss the name plate that was engrave on the Daniel's cemetry tiles. "Now, you have to say sorry for embaressing, hyung!"

"Nope. because its not a lie. Hyung really did cry..."

Awaken from my trance when i heard, the kids began to have a tiff again. 

I bent down to their level and said, "Daniel.. You can't embaress hyung like that. You both need to protect each other not fight like this. Do you want daniel daddy to be sad when he see both of his sons like this?"

Both shook their heads in unison. "Mianhae, Hyung." Daniel hugged Yungeon. 

Yes, Sooyoung and I gave our second son's a name taken from Daniel himself. We name him Daniel Choi Jinmin, so that, he will grow knowing that he can never be selfish and to always care about others. To become someone who will love unconditionally and never choose pride over love. Someone like Daniel Lee Seungjun. 

"its okay. Hyung, forgive you."

"Oppa, i have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I went to the clinic the other day because of my frequent headaches in the mornings and i found out that.. we're having a baby again!"

"Jinja?"

She nodded. And i hugged her tightly and twirl her around. The kids jumped up and down in joy, knowing that there will be an additional member to our small family. Thank you Daniel shi for always looking down at us and taking care of us from above. Thank you god for everything. I was too happy i could literally feel my face started to cramped up.

After awhile later, Seunghyun and Tiffany came with their child, Erika, to pay a visit to Daniel on his death annivesary and after which both of our choi family drove off to henry's restaurant to meet up with Kyuhyun, Seohyun and Kimberly to celebrate our anniversary and to announce the pregnancy. I guess holding onto her wasn't that bad even though it hurts at the begining. I guess the saying that you need to know how bitter it taste to enjoy the sweet things in life is definitely true. I've got the people i love with me and i'm contented because i never stopped holding onto the love i had for her. 

I love you Soo.. Always have and always will stay that way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~No ones pov

Not too long after, the choi families walked away from the scene. A lady in a trench coat with a sunglasses on walked towards the tile that have Daniel's name on it. She bent down and sat on the grass. Putting the flowers that she had brought with her next to the flowers that had been brought by the Chois. 

"Daniel, its been more than 3 years. I've not moved on yet. I thought i could. But like i promised you, i'll never stop trying to find my perfect ending. Saranghae." She kissed Daniel's name that was engraved on the tile and walked away to her car.

Lauren, a lady, that lost her heart unintentionally while trying to keep the secret. She lost her heart completely when he left the world. Holding onto something means hope. Hope that keeps someone's faith that everything will eventually be okay. It can work both ways; ending with either the best smiles and happiness or just the taste of lingering lost and longing. Holding onto someone doesn't always brings heartbreak. In this case, if you are willing to be patient and accepts changes as it is, new circumstances can arise and brings you happiness instead. With this Holding onto her, is done.

=========================the end================================================================

Author's note;

I am sorry to keep everyone waiting. This is officially my last chapter for 'holding onto her' i hope that you'll enjoy reading this. I cried while writing this because i got so attached to Daniel Lee Seungjun and making the death scene is so hard. At last, he found the soulmate but it was too late because time was chasing after her.