Scene: Exo's Showtime Episode 5 (05.08 – 05.11) & (05.40 – 05.41) & (16.21 – 16.34)

Note: Onesided!Hunhan, Kaisoo, Xiuhan and Onesided!SuDo

Unbeta-ed

The thing about Oh Sehun was that he was hopelessly in love with Luhan and it has been so since 2012 when they debuted together. It was something that wasn’t common knowledge amongst the Exo members though because he kept it a secret pretty well, well in Sehun’s opinion at least.

There were two members who knew though; and they were Kyungsoo and Jongin. Jongin had caught Sehun crying to himself one night and that was when Sehun had let the cat out of the bag. Kyungsoo found out a day or two after, when Jongin decided he was horrible at giving advice and told his boyfriend about the situation. Kyungsoo, being an instinctive mother, took it upon himself to always be there whenever Sehun felt a breakdown and Jongin, being Sehun’s closest friend, allowed Kyungsoo to give Sehun all his attention whenever he needed it.

Life just didn’t get better for Sehun when all the members were re-allocated into new rooms after moving to a bigger dorm for winning number one on the music charts, putting Sehun in the same room as Luhan and Kyungsoo.
 

“Well, at least there’s Kyungsoo.” Sehun had thought back then.

Life got even harder when he learned about fanfiction and began reading stories about the love the real life Sehun and the real life Luhan would never experience. Which, in turn, only further depressed Sehun, but he liked reading it anyway because it showed that there were people supporting a love life between them and that made Sehun a little happier even though he already knew it was impossible between them.

“Y’know, you’re just killing yourself by reading the weird stuff these people write.” Kyungsoo mentioned when he noticed Sehun glued to the laptop screen reading a large chunk of text.

“If you read some of them, you’d like them too okay. There was one where you had this amnesia thingy and that story was really sad and there was even one where we all had superpowers and we were fighting the fire nation, okay? This is cool and this is not weird stuff at all!” Sehun had angrily rambled and Kyungsoo hadn’t taken it to heart because he knew Sehun was just frustrated and who was Kyungsoo to take his little piece of solace?

Sehun knew he was right, though, and maybe he was a little masochistic in that sense. He still wanted to think of that alternate universe where Luhan and himself were happily together and sharing their happiness with each other.

That happiness was not to be because what hurt him the most wasn’t the fact that he never told Luhan his feelings. What hurt him the most was actually the fact that he was in a relationship with Minseok and that he knew that Luhan only loved him like a little brother.

Sehun craved for Luhan’s attention and he would never intentionally miss an opportunity to have Luhan just look at him.

The time came when Exo was given a chance to go on a trip together to relief some stress and the members had chosen where their ideal places were. Sehun constantly stared in Luhan’s direction and was inwardly frustrated at how Luhan was being around Minseok. From his hair to playfully hitting his shoulder and Sehun could only wish that he was in Minseok’s place. He was so lost in thought that he accidentally called out to Luhan but was fortunately not heard by Luhan. Sehun was quick to retract all emotions and attempted to be stoic once more.

It was decided that the beach was the place the members had wanted to go to the most and the members set out towards the beach. Everything was well until they reached the rest stop to have some drinks and food. Sehun was picked by the staff to use a video recorder to get more personal shots of the members and he rely to see Luhan feeding Minseok. Being the youngest (coupled with the fact that he was really jealous), he whined for Luhan to feed him as well, in which Luhan happily fed him his hotdog and Sehun didn’t hesitate to take a huge bite out of. His logic was if Luhan fed him more food than he fed Minseok, he had won in that aspect.

Fast forwarding past the prank on Jongdae and his wallet, the members were preparing to head back to the vehicles to continue on their journey down to the beach when Joonmyeon had pulled Sehun aside to talk.

“What is it, hyung?”, Sehun questioned a tad irritated.

Joonmyeon simply kept a calm expression and replied, “Well, Kyungsoo told me about your feelings about Luhan and I thought that we should talk about it.”

This is a turn of events. Sehun face grew grim with betrayal and suddenly he was ready to attack Kyungsoo the next time he saw him.

Noticing the change in expression and added, “Before you get mad at Kyungsoo, let me just say that he had your best interest and was just looking out for you.”

Sehun’s face softened and heaved a heavy sigh, “I know, hyung. I do. But it was meant to be a secret alright?” He moved to lean against a nearby wall. Who knew being in love could be all so tiring?

“Well, let me share with you a secret then, but unlike Kyungsoo, you cannot tell anyone this alright?” the leader said.

“What is it?” Sehun asked.

“You are the only person who will know this and I expect that it will be as such forever. I err… I am in love with Kyungsoo.”

Sehun’s jaw dropped. This was nothing he expected at all. He always thought Kyungsoo was simply his favorite dongsaeng and that all his feelings were platonic but it was apparent that that wasn’t the case.

“Well, that would explain why you’re always around him, I guess? But urm, why are you telling me this?” the younger asked.

Joonmyeon looked Sehun in the eyes and spoke like a father would to a child, “I wanted to give you some advice. Now that you know that I’m in about the same position as you are, you have to understand that when you’re in love, all that matters is the happiness of the person you love. I hope you keep that in mind.”

The leader then nudged Sehun into heading back towards the vehicles to begin setting off.

The car ride was filled with Sehun thinking about what Joonmyeon had said and he simply became quiet, not once making noise when unnecessary. He thought about how Joonmyeon hadn’t once stepped in between Kyungsoo and Jongin, in fact, he even pushed the two together and was rooting for their relationship. Never once had it occurred to him that the leader harbored strong feelings for one of them. Sehun wanted to be as magnanimous as that and he wanted Luhan’s happiness so it was then that he decided to finally let Luhan go.

After all the members had been done being happy and excited about the whole Luhan-Jongin-Joonmyeon going into the water fiasco and was all heading into their rented apartment, Sehun stayed out a little more. He took out his wallet and took out a photo of himself with Luhan when they were trainees.

“SEHUN-AHHHHHH! Hurry! It’s really cold out there!”, Sehun turned to see a wet Luhan waving him over and he gave a small smile.

He let go of the photo and let it be carried by the wind and into the ocean knowing very well that Joonmyeon was right and Luhan’s happiness was above all  else.

Sehun felt the weight on his shoulders slowly lifting as he turned to walk towards Luhan and though there was pain in his heart, he knew that it was only a matter of time before he recovered and hoped that one day, he would be able to love again. 

Author's note: Hi people! Ermm. It's so hard to explain how busy and lazy I was. Hahaha. Well, I got a bunch of comments for episode 5 stuff so... Here it is..? HAHAHA. I don't even know. I've had a serious writer's block for a really long time and y'know, stuff happened. I'll still try to update, I really will! So... Stick around? 

Ahhh. I'm a mess. I just wanna say sorry and that I'll be back with more when I get more ideas ok. I hope ya'll would still check this out and I hope you guys like this. ^^ I'll still do that giveaway if I hit 200 subcribers, by the way!

Also, I planned on posting a four-shot Kaisoo fic on the 13th of January 2014 (the official Kaisoo day kekeke) and errr... It didn't happen. But I'd still like to share the poster I had for that planned story anyways. 

Okay bye! Hopefully the next one won't take me 6 months to update.