Scene: Exo's Showtime Episode 6 (38.40 – 38.53) & (42.53 – 52-56) & (50.29 – 50.39)

If it was anything that SM Entertainment had taught Jongin, it would be how to mask his feelings whenever appropriate. He was once told by his manager that when he was on camera, he should forget who Jongin was because Jongin wasn’t a public figure, but instead, Kai is. And since Kai is a public figure, he should act as a public figure would in order to avoid all sorts of scandals. Jongin couldn’t say that he wanted to be a part of a scandal himself and has since kept to it.

Hell, Jongin was so good at hiding his emotions that he once managed to go through almost an entire performance of Wolf with a bad back. He would’ve gotten through it too if it weren’t for the pesky pain killers wearing off. No doubt the bad back had caused intense pain throughout the performance with the intense choreography, but he still thought he managed to conceal it pretty well.

At least back then he had someone who cared for him enough to pull him through that pain. “I never want you to be hurt or sick. I just don’t.”, Jongin reminisces.

Last night however was a completely different story. The Showtime staff members finally called it a night and left the Exo members the night to sleep as they cleared out into their own respective units to get some rest for themselves. By the time all the staff had finally cleared out, most of the Exo members had already fallen asleep while Jongin, on the other hand, had never felt more awake. He had way too much on his mind that he needed clearing.

It was 2.37AM and he lay there quietly on the bed right next to Kris and just stared at the ceiling trying to get his thoughts to clear out but they wouldn’t. Instead he turned his head to face Kris and realized how heavily irritated he was by Kris’ presence. He got out of bed and quietly headed out the room, only to see Kyungsoo still on his phone looking through something. Kyungsoo looked up at him questioningly and he simply hurriedly went out the main door and headed out, planning to go no where in particular.

The one thing he was trying to avoid happened when he heard the door behind open and then quietly closing.

“Jongin-ah.,” Kyungsoo’s voice resonated through the corridors, “Where are you going?”.

Jongin turned around and gave Kyungsoo a look of disgust and replied, “None of your business. Just go back and sleep.”

Kyungsoo just looked at him in shock when Jongin his heels and simply headed in the opposite direction. He continued walking aimlessly until he found a bench just on the edge of the beach leading towards the rented out apartments. Jongin finally sat down and was shocked to have Kyungsoo right behind him because he really hadn’t heard footsteps nor felt a presence following him. When he recovered from the shock, he asked him what he was doing there. Kyungsoo simply replied that he was worried for him.

Jongin gave a sarcastic laugh, “Worried for me? Why bother? Hadn’t we already broken up?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore.” Kyungsoo responded guiltily.

He felt like it was a joke. “You might as well stop caring, hyung. Because everything you do hurts me.” Jongin had exasperatedly replied.

He continued, “Go and play with Sehun’s fingers or let Kris hyung touch your thighs or something. Anything. Just not anywhere near me, ok?” At this point, Jongin had let some tears slip and he had streaks of salty water rolling down his cheeks.

Kyungsoo reached up and tried to wipe them away but when he did Jongin had slapped his hand away. “No,” he said, “Please, just don’t.”

“You know, it’s been extremely difficult for me when you asked for the break up last month. You told me to give you time because you said you didn’t think you could match up to me but all I wanted was for you to be mine, even if you did nothing for me.” Jongin choked.

Kyungsoo started, “You don’t understand Jongin. You don’t know what it’s like to think of yourself as disgusting,” Kyungsoo started crying himself, “I hate myself. I don’t know why. But I do, ok? I don’t think I’m worth your time and so I asked you to give me some time just so I could get over myself. Because you mean the world to me and I just don’t want to be a waste of your time.”

Jongin stopped crying and looked at the pained expression on Kyungsoo. It was funny really. On a cold night in late November, he found himself here in front of the person he loved and felt everything inside of him just crumble and the next thing he knew, he was holding Kyungsoo in a warm embrace. Kyungsoo cried into Jongin’s chest for a little while more before mumbling, “Jongin-ah, it’s cold, you’re gonna catch a cold.”

Jongin cleared his throat, “I don’t get it. But I’ll give you more time ok?” Kyungsoo nodded against his chest.

“But I need you hyung. I,” Jongin hesitated, “I love you.”

Kyungsoo finally looked up and gently replied, “I love you too.” He felt a cold wind hit him and then asked Jongin if they could go back into the apartment now and Jongin nodded.

When they got back into the dark living room, they went back to their respective beds only to be awakened about 2 hours later. Something to do with seeing the sun rise and that the Showtime crew wanting to film the Exo members viewing it.

All the members covered themselves in thick outerwear to brace themselves for sheer cold from the early morning and the fact that winter was quickly approaching. They headed out one by one and stood on the beach viewing the horizon as dawn came. Though sleepy, everyone, except Jongin, anticipated the sunrise. Jongin simply felt exhausted and extremely sleepy. He was very sure his eyes were puffy and extra dark from crying just hours before this.

“7.16AM!” Baekhyun exclaimed after checking his phone, “The sun rises at 7.16AM.”

Finally, when the sun began rising over the ocean, everyone started to excitedly taking photos of the suns rays as it began illuminating the skies. Though, the most tired, Jongin had to admit that the sunrise was beautiful.

“I hope to be a better leader in 2014!” Junmyeon had began shouting.

It became a thing and a number of others gave their wishes for 2014 as well.

Kyungsoo, himself, made a wish as well; he began, “In 2014… Let’s all be healthy.” He paused, “Let’s not fall sick.”

The other members came with a chorus of yeahs and thanks, all agreeing with Kyungsoo’s wish for the upcoming 2014. Jongin, couldn’t help but think about back when they were still promoting Wolf and when the back incident happened. When Kyungsoo was there right behind him to support him and to give him light massages in hopes of alleviating the pain.

Jongin had hit the realization that even though the breakup had hurt Jongin, it had hurt Kyungsoo too. When Jongin hurt his back, no one could fix it but himself because only he could heal what was inside of him and finally understood why Kyungsoo needed the time off. Because he wanted to fix himself.

Jongin finally understood. He looked over at Kyungsoo and then finally looked out into the horizon and made a silent wish.

“I wish for Kyungsoo to be fixed because I need him and I can keep him unbroken.”

Author's note: So the second installment is up! I hope you guys like the Kaisoo going on cos I don't even know if what I wrote makes sense. LOL. I would love if you guys commented on what you guys think of the series and thanks for all the support! The next installment will likely be a scene from Episode 4. I'm not too sure yet. I orginally planned the next one to be a Sulay scene but... Plans change. Hahaha. I don't know. We'll see how stuff goes. Once again, thank you for reading!