*

GONG MINJI

*

So, I never did find those two freshman boys by the way, but based off the fact that I had lost my case against Jongin, I’m pretty sure that was already obvious.

Now, I could sit here and retell everything that happened from the moment I left Mrs. Jung’s office up until the unfortunate day of the meeting, but, what for? There would be no point.

At the end of the day, I was still ripped of my presidential title and me endlessly obsessing over the events that lead up to that wouldn't change anything. The only thing was, despite the fact that I really didn’t want to sit around and obsess over everything that had happened, I still couldn’t help but to sit around and obsess over everything that had happened! So it was really a lost cause.

So, in the end I’d lost everything including my case against Jongin, my position as senior president, and my reputation.

 Basically, the reason I had ended up losing the case was because I’d had zero evidence to back up my story about Jongin’s deviant behavior. My original plan to get those two freshman boys as witnesses completely fell through but that was only because they both coincidentally left the school just in time for the meeting, so the only thing I could do was tell my side of the story and hope the judges believed me; however, Jongin’s story, along with the evidence he had to support it and with the help of his father who was on the judges panel, I stood no chance.  

I don’t know what happened to those two boys but I knew that somehow, their sudden absences had to be because of Mr. Kim and my ex co-president. Back when I was searching for them, I had asked the office lady who keeps records of all Cheonan’s students for their whereabouts. According to her, the two freshman boys were currently “on leave of absence” for “personal reasons” (whatever that meant).

And for all those recordings and things I’d had saved to my computer that would have made great evidence to support my claims against Jongin and the rest of the guys, completely vanished!   

According to Mr. Kim, no evidence from the things he had had confiscated from my dorm room could be found that supported any of my claims, which I knew was a complete lie. He had even brought in my laptop for the rest of the judges on the panel to examine, but the only videos that could be found on there were the ones that I and the girls had recorded of the guys.

I don’t know what he did with it, but I’d had everything saved to my computer (which I now knew was a huge mistake) so the evidence was there, or at least, it had been, but where it was now, I had no idea.

After the meeting had ended I wasn’t the same person anymore. My personality did a complete 180 that not even Bom’s usual crazy antics could uplift (and she had really tried her best to make me feel better).

I was a complete wreck for the first few days. I barely ate, barely hung out with my friends, and avoided any and every social gathering on campus. By the end of the week, I was extremely bitter. My life on campus used to be so lively since, as president, everyone came to me whenever they needed something, or students would always wave and say “hi” whenever I walked by. Now, it was silent, prolonged stares (that is, if they paid me any attention at all).

No one needed me since I was no longer president and my life on campus became a stark contrast to what it used to be when I was.

It was a weird feeling, but for the first time in a very long time i felt kind of...normal. Or, just like any regular student, that is. Ever since I’d joined government back in ninth grade I’d always had so much responsibility, but now that I wasn’t apart of it anymore I had all this free time to kind of just...roam.

However, the more I did roam with all my newfound “free time,” the more time I had to continuously obsess over the events that lead up to me being impeached and this is what left me feeling bitter.  

I’d felt like I’d been stripped of something that was precious to me for committing an unforgivable crime and now had to walk around with the name of the crime tattooed to my forehead for everyone to see.

It was for this reason that I rarely left my dorm room other than to go to classes. And all this time I couldn’t even speak to the one person I really wanted to speak to, and that was my ex co-president, himself.

He was avoiding me like I was contagious with something he didn’t want to catch. In the one and only class we shared together (English), he now made sure to sit on the far side of the opposite end of the room, closest to the door and whenever the bell rang, he was always the first one out.

He also had to be going out of his way to avoid me on campus as well because I used to see him all the time before (he was never the type to keep a low profile), but now I could never catch even a glimpse of him. Then again, due to my slump, I hadn’t exactly been leaving my room other than to go to class so maybe my self-isolation was part of the reason I never saw him.

Likewise, the same way Jongin was treating me was the way I treating the rest of the guys, including Kris, so we didn’t really talk anymore. This; however, didn’t stop us from locking eyes everytime we passed each other campus. He’d usually give a small smile as an attempted friendly gesture, but since I wasn’t feeling too friendly, I generally wouldn’t return it. Eventually it got so uncomfortable locking eyes with him all the time that I went out of my way just to avoid him just like Jongin was doing to me.

I really wanted to talk with him, but even if he weren’t avoiding me and I did get the chance to sit down and have a talk with him I don’t think I could possibly verbalize everything I was feeling without completely losing it.

I had been so down lately because I knew that no matter what there was nothing I could do to change the fact that I was no longer president anymore. That no matter what my reputation would still be tarnished and that I was going to have to just live with it. I wanted him to know that this hurt me. Deep down what I really wanted Jongin to know was that I was just really hurt.  

But I couldn’t talk to him. Because he was avoiding me, and I was avoiding everything.

So here I lied, flat on my bed, on a Friday afternoon, sulking and just generally having no interest in leaving my bed for the rest of the day (or, the rest of my life). Bom had asked me earlier if I wanted to go meet up with Chaerin and Dara to go eat at our school’s cafè but I declined the offer.

That was another thing. Since she had taken my place as senior co-president, I hadn’t even asked Chaerin how she was doing with having to work with Jongin, so I was totally out of the loop. I wondered if he was he giving her all the problems he had been giving me back when we were co-presidents? I hoped not especially since Chaerin had a shorter temper than I did which would probably result in Jongin getting clobbered rather frequently.     

Sighing, I rolled over on my right side finally tired of having lied in the same position that I’d been in for the last hour.

This was my life now, unfortunately.   

I begin to laugh. Ugh, I sound pathetic.

I think I lied in my bed for about ten more minutes before there was a knock at my door. My first thought was to just ignore it since I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but once my dorm advisor’s voice spoke to me from the other side of it, I knew I had to get up so I drug myself out of bed and stumbled over to the door.

Once I swung it open, I was greeted by my dorm advisor’s pretty face.

“What’s up, Kahi?”

“Hey Minji, I just got a call from the front office,” she told me. “Apparently, Mrs. Jung wants you to meet with her in her office to talk with you about something.”

“Right now?” I asked a little sadly. I had been feeling so comfortable in my bed I didn’t want to go anywhere.

Kahi nodded.

I sighed. “Alright. I’ll just get freshened up really quick and then go.”

So I did just that. Brushed my teeth, brushed my hair back into a high bun and then left to go meet Mrs. Jung. I didn’t know exactly what she wanted to talk about weeks after the meeting with the board was over, but I just knew that whatever it was she wanted to talk about it was related to it.

Personally, I just wanted to forget it all ever happened, but as I mentioned earlier, trying to do so was a lost cause especially since I couldn’t get any closure with the one person who was the main reason why I couldn’t forget.

If she did, indeed, want to talk about my co...I mean, ex co-president, then I was just going to tell her that I was over the whole situation and that I just wanted to finish out the rest of school year as normally as possible.

Once I was at the front office, I walked in and told the office lady that I was there to meet Mrs. Jung. She nodded and with her hand, gestured me to go on to the back of the building.

I headed to the back of the building straight to Mrs. Jung’s office before lightly tapping on the slightly open door with my knuckles.

“Mrs. Jung?” I questioned as I pushed the door open to see her at her desk, messing with a brown paper bag.

She looked up at me through her glasses. “Ah, Minji. Come in, ” she greeted and gestured me in. “But close the door behind you.”

I did as was told and then came over to sit down opposite of her. “So, you wanted to talk with me about something?”

“Yes, Minji, I wanted to know how have you been doing since the meeting?”  

Oh no. I knew she was going to want to bring all that stuff up again. This was why I didn’t want to talk with her, or with anyone for that matter. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about it! I wanted to forget everything and just disappear! Why couldn’t anybody see that?!

“I’ve been fine,” I lied, simply.

I figured that maybe if I pretended that I was really okay then this little chat would end quickly, but when Mrs. Jung looked at me longer than expected, I got the feeling that she didn’t believe me.

“Really?” she probed.  

“Yes,” I lied again, this time a little more urgently, so my voice came out harsher, but I couldn’t help it when her eyes peering into me like they were right now. It made me uncomfortable because I felt like she was reading me like a book.

I looked away from her and focused my attention on my nails.

“Well, if you have been just fine all this time can you tell me why there’s been a drop in your grades recently?”

I frowned after hearing this. My grades? Then I remembered. Oh. I forgot. In addition to not eating, and detaching myself from all my friends, foregoing social events, and basically just not coping at all, I hadn’t been performing very well scholastically, either. My grades hadn’t quite taken a dive just yet, but if I continued with the way I was going, they would be sinking under water in no time.

“Some of your teachers say that you’ve been turning in your schoolwork later and later. That you hardly stay awake in class and that even when you do, you aren’t mindfully present. They also say you’ve been noticeably irritable, especially towards the other students...particularly the male students...and male teachers.”

I bit down on my bottom lip as I remembered the little disagreement I’d had with my Microbiology teacher, Mr. Yu. I probably shouldn’t have yelled at him when he had tried encouraging me to participate in dissecting those cow eyeballs with the other students.  

I kept my head down as I felt hot tears pricking my eyes now. Alright, so I wasn’t fine. I wasn’t okay not even in the least. But there was nothing I could do! It was over. I’d lost everything I had worked so hard for.

“Mrs. Jung...I’m trying my best to be okay with everything but I don’t know what else to do.”

“Have you tried talking to Jongin at all since the day of the meeting?”

I shook my head. “No, but he won’t even look at me so I doubt I could get him to speak to me...I’m just really upset with everything that has happened and how things have turned out. I’m the only one who’s been dragged down in all this while he gets away with everything scott free. When’s it going to be his turn to fall?!...”

Momentarily, I paused as I realized what I had just said, and backtracked. “Wait, no, that’s not right. I shouldn’t wish for bad things to happen to him. It’s just, I want him to understand what it feels like to be wronged. I want him to understand that what he did was awful, too. I mean, I’m just one person. Imagine how many other people he’s screwed over with the help of his father.”

“True,” Mrs. Jung agreed. “Jongin does have his father to help him out of certain situations, but don’t forget that you also have someone to help you as well.”

I rose an eyebrow. “Who?”

Mrs. Jung smiled. “Me.”

With that she pushed that brown bag she’d been holding towards me. “This is for you. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to use it or not, but I can assure you that it will give you what you truly desire regarding your relationship with Kim Jongin.”

I looked between her and the brown bag a few times, questioningly, before finally grabbing ahold of it.  

Opening the bag, I peered into only to frown at what I saw in it. “Are you kidding me? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?”

“It is not a joke, Minji,” Mrs. Jung answered humorously and I suddenly got a strange vibe.

I shrugged. “W-well, what am I supposed to do with this?”

“The instructions are inside the bag as well, that is, if you do decide to use it, but that is ultimately up to you, Minji,” Mrs. Jung explained to me. “I can not tell you what it is for, because then it will not work. What I can say is that I promise it will give you exactly what you want in the end. All you have to do is get Jongin to take it with you.”

I looked back down at the contents in the bag, thinking hard.

I really didn’t see how what was inside was going to help me get what I “truly desired” like Mrs. Jung said it would, but I did trust her. She had always helped me whenever I needed it, and if she said that this would help then I believed her.

Only, now I was just faced with one slight difficulty.

Jongin was avoiding me, and according to Mrs. Jung I needed him in order to make whatever this stuff was work. But that would require getting his attention long enough to have an actual conversation with him, which was a challenge all by itself.

Hmm...

The image of Kris suddenly popped in  my mind. I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but maybe it was time to change that.  Maybe he would be willing to help me out...  

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Jongin's POV coming up next chapter!  By the way, can anybody guess what Mrs. Jung gave to Minzy?