Everyone's hating on Jiyong now...oh boy..

***

Jiyong sank into the chair behind his desk and buried his face in his hands.

He’d followed Bom out the door and seen that Jong-hoon was giving her a ride home. He’d watched as the car drove down the lane, the lights disappearing in the distance.

For how long he stood there, numb, he didn’t know.

He realized the door was still open and the wind had picked up. A chill had stolen over him but he knew it wasn’t the temperature. He was cold on the inside.

Dead. Still breathing and yet dead. He had been for a long time.

Now, sitting at his desk, his gut clenched.

His chest ached. It shouldn’t. He should be relieved. It was done. There was no possible way for Bom to misunderstand.

Clean break. He’d done exactly what he should have done from the very beginning.

So why didn’t he feel vindicated? Relieved, even? He should be glad. He could go back to his unemotional existence where he didn’t have to feel pain.

Only none of that was true. He hurt now.

He hurt so damn much that he couldn’t breathe around the knot in his throat.

He’d lost Bom.

The very thing he’d tried to protect himself from was the pain of loss. The despair and frustration of not being able to keep a loved one safe was his reality. Right here, right now.

He’d lost Bom. He’d lost his son.

His son.

An innocent, precious life.

A child who deserved to have the world at his feet.

Two parents who loved him. A father who’d protect him from all the hurts and disappointments life had to offer.

Oh, God, he was a bastard. He was such an unfeeling monster, just what Bom had accused him of being.

Only he wasn’t unfeeling. Right now he’d give anything not to be able to feel this agony.

Seeing Bom tonight and the evidence of just how low he’d brought her down made him want to die. She’d stood before him, pain in her eyes, and yet she’d still put herself out there. She’d taken a chance. Laid it all out.

And he’d slapped her down because he was afraid.

It was humbling to realize just what a coward he was.

What a coward he had been for so long.

He’d been given something many people never got.

Something others wished for, would kill for, would live every single day of their life in gratitude for.

A second chance.

Another chance at something so special and wonderful.

Bom was a breath of fresh air into a life he’d quit living. He went through the motions. He performed. But he’d stopped truly living a long time ago.

Bom had changed all that. From the moment he’d first seen her walk into a room, she’d been like a bolt of lightning to his senses.

Her smile, her laughter, her take-no-prisoners attitude.

Her confidence. Her inner beauty. And her courage.

When he really stopped to consider just how much she’d had to shoulder alone these past few months it made him physically ill.

She was young, had plans. She could have anyone and yet she’d chosen him. He’d made her pregnant and yet she soldiered on, making the best of a difficult situation.

She’d fought fiercely, was still fighting fiercely for his son. He was so damn proud of her and so damn ashamed of himself that he couldn’t bear to think about it.

He didn’t deserve her. She was right about that.

But he wanted her. Oh, God, he wanted her.

It was laughable that he’d actually thought that he could spare himself the pain of loss by shutting himself off and away, by closing the door on a relationship with Bom.

He’d been so worried about losing her that the very thing he feared the most had happened. At his instigation!

Stupid didn’t even begin to cover it.

He pushed upward from his chair, suddenly agitated and more determined than he’d ever been in his life.

He loved her, damn it.

He’d lied to himself and to her. He’d sp