It’s concert day today!!!! Oh my gosh, it’s finally here! I get to see EXO perform live and up close!!!

I hurriedly fixed my things to bring to the concert – phone, wallet, camera, ticket, lightsticks, and other stuff. I was born to be a pack rat so I don’t know the meaning of the phrase “pack lightly”.

I looked through my closet and figured out what I should wear. This will probably be the hardest decision I’ll make this year. I couldn’t find anything decent and eye-pleasing. It seemed like all the outfits I own suddenly looked cheap and out of style.

8 hours remaining till concert time and I still haven’t decided what my outfit’s gonna be. I have to outshine all the girls who will be coming to the concert. I want Kai to look at me. I want his attention. Honestly, I don’t want him to get attracted to other girls in the concert because it would literally tear my heart apart.

*Kriiiing Kriiiing*

Me: Oh, Hey Ria! How’s your preparation going?

Ria is one of my bestfriends who’s also a fan of EXO, and her self-proclaimed boyfriend is none other than Byun Baekhyun. I actually met her through a gathering hosted by EXO Ph last year, and now we’re like sisters!

Ria: I’m freaking out!!! I don’t know what to wear! All my outfits look like trash!

Me: You couldn’t decide what to wear too?

Ria: Yeah, I’ve been standing infront of my closet for 30, no 45 minutes already. Huhu.

Me: Me too! Ugh. Hey, you wanna go shopping?

Ria: Right now? Really? Sure sure! I would absolutely love that!!!

Me: Okay, meet you at the bus stop in 10 minutes. See you!

Ria: See yoooou!

*click*

We’re going shopping! Hooraaaaay! I may not have told you yet, but I absolutely adore shopping! It’s like my second favourite hobby – fangirling is first, obviously.

Ria and I met at the bus stop and all throughout the bus ride to the nearest mall, we were spazzing and chatting away all our feels since the concert and the fan meet is less than 12 hours ahead of us. I told her about my encounters with Kai and she was literally spazzing so hard that she needed to open the bus window just to breathe properly.

Ria: Oh my goooooosh! You’re totally destined for each other! No doubt about it! I mean… How the hell is it a coincidence when you already met him twice and no one even got in between the two of you, not even those nosy reporters!

Me: You think so, Ria? I’m hoping that we’re really meant to see each other, but now that I got to know him, I felt that he deserves someone better. He deserves the best, actually. And it kind of hurts me to say the truth that I’m nowhere near the best.

Ria: Don’t say that, girl. You’ll never really know. And besides, what’s he going to do with the best or let’s say, the prettiest girl in the world, if he doesn’t even love her? Love is blind, Bambi, love is BLIND. C’mon and turn that frown upside down now, and let’s go do some shopping!!!!

That long bus ride was over now and we hurriedly went inside different stores to try on various outfits. I have to admit, I kind of look blooming today. I hope Kai would notice it.

We went inside a little Korean boutique and saw a lot of cute clothes similar to what f(x) and SNSD wear. Ria and I tried on lots of clothes with matching shoes and accessories. After 45 minutes of fitting, contemplating, and deciding whether or not we should stick to our budget, we finally bought outfits that satisfied ourselves. Ria bought a hanging sleeveless shirt, a pair of sleek leather pants, and high cut wedge sneakers. She looked so adorable and almost resembled SNSD’s Tiffany. On the other hand, I bought a white muscle shirt with a black tube top, a leather skater skirt, and white platform sneakers. I looked quite adorable too, even if I do say so myself. Let’s just say that I’m confident with the way I look. Hihihi.

After our shopping, we hurriedly went straight to my house and got dolled up. We even put on a little make-up just to complete our look. In the midst of finishing my make-up, Ria suddenly spoke.

Ria: What if Kai fell inlove with you, how would you feel?

Me: Riaaaa! Don’t be like that, please? You know it only hurts us when we imagine stuff like that.

Ria: Heeey, I was only asking. And how are you 100% certain that he’s never ever going to fall for you?

Me: Well, duh! First off, I’m not that pretty, second, we barely know each other, third, he lives in Korea, fourth, I’m not that pretty and fifth, I’m not that pretty. Now you understand?

Ria: If you say so… I don’t know about you, but I’m going to imagine me and Baekhyun being all sweet at the fanmeet. Kekeke.

Me: Well, to tell you the truth, you do have a higher chance of attracting them than I do, so yeah, I’m rooting for your sweet moments with Baekhyun!! Kekeke.

We were enjoying ourselves too much that we didn’t notice the time. Only 2 hours left before the concert and we still have travel time to worry about. We got on my mom’s car and she drove us through traffic. It was like hell, literally. We barely made it in time for the opening of the gates.

Because we got in late, we only managed to stand at the third row from the stage. I hope Kai will get to see me.

The lights were dimmed and the concert was starting. Screams and chanting of EXO EXO EXO echoed the coliseum. When they appeared from the bottom of the stage, all the people couldn’t contain their feels and just let out loud screams. Ria and I couldn’t help ourselves as well, so we began to scream at the top of our lungs.

The first song they performed was Mama. Their debut song. I couldn’t help but notice how much they’ve changed and how much hotter they’ve become, especially my Kai. They gave their all out performances and made every nerve on my body tremble with so much blood and impulses rushing through them.

After Mama, next came history, then Angel. During the performance of Angel, the main vocals were all grouped together on one side, and the dancing machines, Kai, Luhan, Sehun, and Lay were on our side. On the last verse of the song, the dancing machines came near the audience and reached their hand out to us. I kept looking at Kai and calling his attention, but it’s as if he didn’t notice me. It’s okay, he probably didn’t see me.

Then, they performed wolf, followed by growl and then XOXO. XOXO was another interactive song where they do fan service and give out stuffed toys. I came nearer the stage this time, but Kai, on the other hand, was busy with the one infront of me.  He gave her a stuffed toy and smiled wider than he did when he was with me. I was so jealous at the girl so I tapped her shoulder just to see how she looked like and to check if she was really worth Kai’s attention. When she turned around, my world froze. She was extremely gorgeous. She looked like a mix of Miss A’s Suzy and f(x)’s Sulli. She was so mesmerizingly pretty, so I pretended that I wasn’t the one who tapped her shoulder.

My mood changed from super excited and happy, to miserable and depressed. I wasn’t able to enjoy the concert very much since Kai never looked at me once. He didn’t even notice how I made myself especially pretty for today.

The concert was over and in a few minutes, the fanmeet will begin. Only 50 people were chosen and I was part of that lucky batch. But Ria wasn’t, so she went home ahead and asked me to bring her package to Baekhyun.

When the fanmeet/fansigning event started, I looked around to see if that girl was there. And to my surprise, she was actually the one standing infront of me. I was the last in line and that girl was the one right before me.

It was her turn to come up on stage now and I watched each of EXO’s reactions carefully. All 12 of them seem very interested in the girl and it’s really obvious by the way they smile and tease eachother. But the most heartbreaking part is that Kai and Sehun released their inner teenage-boy selves and kept on small talking with the girl. If I heard it correctly, she asked for a hug from Kai and that really made my heart sink to the bottomless abyss of my poor fangirling soul. Kai hugged her and waved goodbye to her. Sehun kept on teasing Kai and I couldn’t help but notice that Kai was actually enjoying it and even seemed to blush a little.

It was my turn now and I don’t think I can match the level of that girl’s attractiveness. I can already imagine their faces not smiling as wide as they did when the girl was there.

I came up on stage, smiled, tried my best to look pretty and to not show how depressed I was. They seemed very friendly though. Friendlier than I imagined. I gave Baekhyun Ria’s package.

Baekhyun: Waa! Kamsahamnida!

To let him know I speak a little Korean, I talked to him… In Korean. Keke.

Me: Oppa, my friend really likes you! And she hopes that you’ll open her package as soon as possible.

Baekhyun: Oh? You speak Korean pretty well. Cool.

Me: Yeah, well, it’s because I –

Kai: It’s because she took hangul lessons. Pretty cool, huh, hyung?

Kai just barged in our conversation, but instead of being annoyed, I actually smiled a little. No, I mean, a lot!

Baekhyun: Wow! Good job! Anyway, I promise to open her package as soon as I get back to Korea.

Me: Really? Thanks so much! She’d be really glad to hear that!

Baekhyun: Please send my thanks to her, too. I hope to meet her someday.

Me: Of course oppa!

Kai was next to Baekhyun, and Sehun was next to Kai. I didn’t know how SeKai will react to me compared to the girl earlier. I got a little nervous.

Kai: Annyeong! We meet again! :)

Me: Oh. Hehe. Yeah. Hi oppa! *awkward smile*

Kai: Where were you seated a while ago? I didn’t see you.

Ugh. I was right behind the girl you were flirting with, Kai, for crying out loud. :(

Me: Well, we got a little late, so we were kind of at the back.

Kai: Oh, that’s how it was. I was looking for you actually.

Are you really sure about that?

Me: Oh, well, here I am now.

Kai: Uhh. Yeah. You seem different. Are you okay? Did you enjoy the concert?

Not really!!!!

Me: Of course I did, oppa!

Sehun: Hi there! Bambi, right?

Me: Huh? How did you –

Sehun: Kai told – ouch! Hey! Why’d you do that for?

Kai: Don’t mind him. He was sleep talking. He does that a lot.

Sehun: No, I don’t! Well, sometimes… But not right now!

Kai: Shut up!

Sehun: Anyway, you look pretty today, Bambi. :)

Me: Wow, I… Thanks oppa!

Sehun: Yeah. Be careful going home, arasseo?

Me: Nae! Annyeong!

SeKai: Annyeong! :)

I waited for my mom outside the coliseum. I thought of the things that Sehun said that Kai didn’t want me to hear. Maybe he does like me? No… It’s impossible. Even if he does, it would just be because of our encounter, and as a fan, not as somebody special. And it’s also obvious that he likes the pretty girl more, since his smile was wider then. Ugh. I don’t know anymore.

While I was waiting for my mom, near the backstage exit, three guys came to me and asked for my number. I said no, of course, and I don’t really talk to strangers.

Guy 1: C’mon babe, don’t be so hard to get! You know you want me.

Guy2: Yeah, come with us. We’ll take you somewhere nice.

Me: Stop it. Don’t touch me! Let go of me!!

They kept on touching me in weird places. I felt like crying. Without knowing what to do, I just screamed at the top of my lungs.

Me: OPPA!

I think no one heard me. Is this the end?

I closed my eyes and just prayed that my mom would come and get me now.

Then I heard someone.

Someone: Hey you three! What do you think you’re doing?! Let go of her!

I opened my eyes and saw the security guard with a gun on his hand. The three guys, upon seeing the guard, ran away like little girls.

Guard: Are  you okay miss?

Me: Yes, sir. Thank you so much!

I sat there crying because of the near death experience I had. While I was crying, I heard Kai’s voice. EXO was exiting the coliseum through the same way I did. I tried not to get noticed since my current state was really unpleasant, and my clothes got torn a bit.

As Baekhyun, Sehun and Kai was about to pass by me, I sneezed my loudest sneeze I’ve ever made, and that made them notice me.

Baekhyun: Hey, isn’t this…

Sehun: Bambi?!

Kai: What happened?!

I couldn’t speak since my voice was too cracked from crying.

The three of them sat down beside me and tried to comfort me.

Sehun: Who did this to you?!

Me: I… It’s fine… I’m fine… I---

I was literally shaking while talking.

Kai: Didn’t I tell you not to cry like that again?

Baekhyun: ~Baby don’t cry tonight…~ Cheer up now. You’re okay.

Me: Thanks oppa. My mom just texted me. She’ll be here in a few minutes. You guys better go. I’ll be fine. :)

Sehun: You sure?

Me: Yep. See you! Annyeong!

SeKaiBaek: Okay then. Annyeong! :)

They walked away and headed to their van. Then I remembered that I was supposed to return Kai’s handkerchief to him. I ran after them and stopped when I heard them mention something.

Sehun: Jongin-ah, you looked really worried back there.

Baekhyun: You like her, don’t you? I could tell just by looking at you. Hahaha.

Kai: Of course I do! Don’t you think she’s cute?

Baekhyun: But what about Krystal?

Kai: That’s a whole other story. I like Bambi as a fan.

Sehun: And Krystal?

Kai: Krystal? I love her.

SeBaek: Aiiiiisssshhhh. What was that?!

Sehun: I think I’m going to puke! Haha.

Baek: That was cheesy, Jonginah. Kekeke.

My world just shattered…

I could see the pieces of my broken heart lying on the floor and I’m too broken to pick them up…