6. First kiss    "Tae?" Tiffany calls out softly when she saw taeyeon staring blankly at their hands with an unreadable expression on her face. She frowned when she felt taeyeon freeing her hand from her hold.      "Tae?" She called again.      "Huh? Oh oh." Taeyeon pretended to rub her eyes with her retrieved hand. She cleared and fake a smile. "Wow, that was fast. But good, at least you're over him and willing to try again." She paused and grinned. "So who's the lucky guy this time?" Said Taeyeon excitedly in what she thought was an encouraging manner but she saw Tiffany looking away, averting her eyes instead of smiling back at her.      Guy? Tiffany frowned and looked away.  it's you taeyeon-ah...     Taeyeon thought she had made Tiffany felt uncomfortable and she couldn’t help but feel guilty. “Are you that uncomfortable telling me about him? Do I seem pushy and unable to respect your privacy? I’m sorry for that. It’s just that we used to share nearly everything so I thought…” She stopped herself, knowing that she, too, wouldn’t be happy to be forced into telling her friends something she wasn’t ready to tell them yet. “I’m sorry. I won’t ask you about him again and rest assured, I won’t even tell anybody about what you just told me."      "No, it's not th-..." Tiffany's sentence was cut short when taeyeon suddenly stood up.      "Well, I hope you could be truly be happy with him this time round. Remember, you can always talk to me when you need someone." Taeyeon said, turning around. She clenched her chest, feeling a jab straight through her heart. It was the second time she needs to let Tiffany go and let her be happy. She can't do it anymore. This time she told herself she's letting her go once and for all.      "Tae! Wait." Tiffany quickly call out when she noticed taeyeon was about to walk away.      Taeyeon stopped but didn't turned around. She was trying hard to battle her tears.      "Stay, please." Tiffany stood up.      "I can't." Taeyeon answered honestly.      "Why not?"      "I just can't."     "Why?" Tiffany frowned. "I need someone to talk to. And I thought we were friends. Please." Tiffany begged. She didn't need someone to talk to, she just want taeyeon to stay.      Taeyeon inhaled sharply. She became weak whenever Tiffany pleads to her. She knew she have to end this hide and seek, push and pull game once and for all. She turned around. "Look. I'll be honest to you from now on." She took a step closer to Tiffany. "I don't know what your reaction will be or what will happened to us after I say this. But I do hope we could still at least be friends." She took another step. Their bodies were now just inches from each other. "So listen.." She looked at Tiffany who was looking at her with much confused face. She smiled finding it cute. She took a deep breath before continuing her speech. "I.." She paused. She pushed all her nagging thoughts to the back of her head and shut down her reasonings. "I think I'm at the point where I've liked you for so long that it's just an automatic response for me. I don't know if I really still do, but whenever someone says your name, my heart beats faster. I still get jealous and you still have the power to ruin my entire day. But I have a feeling that's just the way it's going to be for awhile." She paused for air. "I know I need to move on, I just don't know if I can. I'm just not strong enough to move away from the one amazing person that's been on my mind forever. So do you think you could please make this easy for me and just love me back?" She said it all out, took a deep breath and finally looked up, only to see a shocked looking Tiffany with slightly agape.      She smiled bitterly. "Like I said, I knew this would be shocking. I don't know what will happened to us after this but I've been keeping this for way too long and I'm letting it out tonight. Like I say, I do hope that we will at least still be friends, at least I will always be. But if you were to avoid me, I'll respect that too. It's getting late. Let's go to sleep." She turned around.      "Tae wait!" Tiffany grabbed taeyeon's shoulder and turned her around. She tensed at how close their body is and reached for taeyeon's fringe, sweeping it aside. Taeyeon froze when Tiffany's finger touch her face before her cheeks was caressed  gently by the back of tiffany's hand. Her eyes dropped to Tiffany's lips as she began to inch closer, slowly, then stopped, gauging Tiffany’s reaction. Tiffany didn’t stir so Taeyeon moved yet another inch closer, tilting her head slightly to the side.      It was all instinct and want now. Her mind had shut down the moment Tiffany’s fingers touched her skin. She moved forward slowly and reduced the gap till their lips brushed against each other. Tiffany closed her eyes when Taeyeon's lips touched hers.      She felt Taeyeon’s lips part before lightly capturing her upper lip. She reciprocated timidly, taking Taeyeon’s lower lip in between her own.    Taeyeon felt Tiffany kissing back and it somehow made her feel relieved. The kiss was slow and tender as they tried to be careful with one another. Taeyeon pulled back a bit after a while, breathing raggedly. She opened her eyes to see Tiffany’s eyes still closed. She smiled then kissed her again, letting their lips brush each other’s a bit longer than the first time before she, again, pulled back.     Both looked away as they tried to hide their warm blushing face from each other. They remain silent, not utterring a word to each other until they calmed down but the gleam in their eyes and the small, shy smiles on their faces had said enough.       "Yes... I'll love you back." Tiffany was the first to spoke, shyly.    Taeyeon widened her eyes in surprise but deep within she wanted to run around, jumping for joy. She hadn’t expected to hear what Tiffany had just said. After all, all this while, she thought it was all one-­‐sided and Tiffany had only wanted to stay friends.            She feels the same for me! I don't need to remind myself that she just sees me as a friend. She realized in surprise. For the first time in the past month she felt light and her heart wasn’t aching anymore. She wasn’t even busy trying to tell her mind to stop thinking about Tiffany nor was she overthinking everything that had happened. For the first time ever since Tiffany came into her life, she felt strangely at peace with her mind and heart.       "Shall we go to sleep then?" Tiffany asked after a brief moment of silence.      Taeyeon nodded. She was still too overjoyed to say anything. She just followed Tiffany's pull towards her bed and lay down. She observed Tiffany switching off the bed lamp before tucking herself under the blanket, laying next to her. Her hands automatically wrapped around Tiffany's waist when she felt Tiffany snuggling close to her, one leg over her leg, clinging to her like a koala. For the second time in her life, she was cuddling with Tiffany to sleep.        ***********     Taeyeon slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness of the room. She smiled when she realised the familiarity of the room, remembering the previous night incident but frown when she saw the small space next to her was empty.      Was it a dream? But her thoughts were quickly brushed off when the bathroom door opened and there stood a fresh face Tiffany with a small towel drape over her shoulder.      "Good morning." Tiffany greeted cheerfully, her eyes disappearing into a crescent as she smiles.      "M-morning." Taeyeon stuttered. She was still confused if yesterday night was a dream or did the kiss really happened since Tiffany was acting normally, as if nothing happened. And so she took the courage to ask.      "Urm, fany?"      "Hmmm?" Tiffany walked towards taeyeon and took a seat beside her on the bed.      "Urm... Yesterday.. We.. I mean..." Taeyeon can't find the right words to say.        "Yesterday?" Tiffany asked.      "Urm.." Taeyeon contemplated to say the next word but decided to anyway, "the kiss?"      "Ahhh.. The kiss." Said Tiffany.      Taeyeon raised her eyebrows. why is she so nonchalant about it? How could she act normally? Does that kiss mean nothing to her?"      "Why? What about it?" Tiffany asked the now quiet taeyeon.      "Urm... So what are we now?" Taeyeon looked to the floor.        "I don't know. You tell me." Tiffany smiled. She took taeyeon's pinky and hooked it.        Taeyeon looked at Tiffany when she felt their pinkies hooked. She was confused, very confused. First Tiffany seems to forget about the kiss, then she seems to not be bothered about it and now this gesture.      "So.." Taeyeon swallowed nervously. "Are we official?" She asked.      "Anni."      Taeyeon frowned. So that kiss means nothing after all. She tried to hides her upset expression but failed.      Tiffany saw the frown and tried her best to suppress her smile. She uses her other free hand to reach out for taeyeon's forehead, massaging it, easing the crease between her eyebrows.      "How can we even be official if you didn't ask me anything?" Tiffany finally smiled when she saw taeyeon looking at her confusedly.        "Huh?" Taeyeon titled her head. It took a few more seconds before Tiffany's words finally click in her head. "Ahhhh...I need to ask huh?" Her facial expression turned cheerful again. "I thought the kiss was enough." She blushed, remembering the kiss.      "Since you initiate it, might as well complete the whole process. So?"      "How should I ask then? More like, what should I ask?"      "I don't know." Tiffany shrugged. "You're the one with the sweet mouth, proven after yesterday." Tiffany looked away shyly, she could feel her cheeks getting warmer.        Taeyeon smiled when she saw the slight shade of pink on Tiffany's cheek. "Hmmm.." She tried to think. "Am I suppose to get on one knee and propose?"      Tiffany laughed. "We haven't even go on a date and you're already thinking of marriage?"        "Well, you have technically claimed that we got married and I'm your wife for eternity. If you remember."        "True. But that's showbiz. This is real-biz." Tiffany pointed to herself then to taeyeon and back to herself.      Taeyeon smirked. "Real-biz huh. What a word."      "Are you going to ask or not?" She lightly smacked taeyeon's hand.      "Arasso arasso. Geez, such impatience." She teased. She took a deep breath and took both of Tiffany's hands in hers, lifting it up to their eye level. "Stephanie Hwang Mi Young, will you give me, Kim Taeyeon, the honour of taking you out on a date and accept me as your girlfriend? And will you give me the chance to love you?" She grinned, trying to suppress her laughter from her cheesy sentence.      Tiffany faked a shiver. "Gosh, so cheesy. My fingers and toes are curling."        "Fine." Taeyeon rolled her eyes. "Fany-ah.." She called sweetly, her voice full of affection, a voice that could make Tiffany's heart melt and flutter. "Will you date me and be my girlfriend?"      Tiffany showcase her eyesmile before answering softly, just above a whisper. "Yes." She nodded timidly.      "Yes?"      "Yes." Tiffany said louder.      She had expected taeyeon to hug her but what happened next surprised her. Taeyeon let go of Tiffany's hand and get off the bed, running around the room.      "She said yes!" Taeyeon shouted as she ran around the room. She went to the dressing table and pointed to herself in the mirror. "She said yes. She said yes, Kim Taeyeon." She then ran back to Tiffany and cupped her face. "Yes?"        "Yes." Tiffany answered and smiled.      Taeyeon let go of Tiffany's face and jumped on the bed. "She said yes. Fany said yes. She's my girlfriend! It's official. She said yes. Woohoo. I'm fany's girlfriend. I shall now pronounce Fany my girlfriend. Deng deng deng-deng.." She pretended to play the wedding march background music with her voice.      Tiffany laughed at her dorky new girlfriend. She hold onto taeyeon's ankle trying to stop her from jumping. "Shhhh... Tae, the members are still sleeping." Tiffany tensed when she remembered about her members.      Taeyeon heard it and she realised the same too. She dropped onto her knees and sat on the bed. "What do we do about them?" She was the first to ask.      "For sure, we can't hide from them for long." Tiffany answered. She knew what taeyeon was referring to, about whether to reveal their newfound relationship to their other members.      "Uh-huh.. We won't be able to hide from them since we all live together. But we sure have to hide from the public eye, manager oppa and all the upper management."      "Of course." Tiffany nodded in agreement. "So when do you plan to tell them?"      "Do you think we can trust them?" Taeyeon asked. She was afraid that one of their members would accidentally leaked out their relationship during variety show or to their manager oppa.      "I'm sure they are smart enough tae. And I trust them, I don't think they will backstab their own sisters right."      "True. But let's just keep this from them for now. You don't mind right?"        Tiffany shook her head. "I don't. I trust you in this."      "Thank you." Said taeyeon. "So can I get another kiss?" She leaned forward.        "Oh no no." Tiffany leaned back and stopped taeyeon by her shoulder. "I don't think I could get to use to morning breaths yet." She giggled.      "Pweety peaseee..." Taeyeon pleaded through her puckered lips.     "No way." Tiffany continued to keep taeyeon an arm length away before quickly moving away, making taeyeon lay flat onto the bed, face down.      Taeyeon rolled over and folded her arms. "Hmph." She sulked.      "Hurry go and brush your teeth and reclaim your goodmorning kiss then." Tiffany patted taeyeon's thigh, gesturing her to get moving. "While the offer still last." She patted again when taeyeon didn't stir.      Taeyeon huffed louder and crossed her arms tighter.      "Go brush your teeth, taetae." Tiffany tried to coax her this time.      Taeyeon pouted her lips. She begin kicking her legs, rubbing it against the bedsheet like a sulking child. "I don't want to..."        "Oh my gosh.." Tiffany shook her head. "This is very new." Tiffany smiled, witnessing a whiny taeyeon for the first time. "How old are you Kim Taeyeon?"      "I want a kiss. K-I-S-S. Kiss." She began to bounce her body against the mattress.      "You're not getting any kiss till you brush your teeth." Tiffany said sternly. "And better do it fast because the offer is expiring in 5." Tiffany showed her five fingers. "4...3...2..." She folded her fingers each time she called out a number. Before she could call out the last number, taeyeon finally sat up.      "Fine fine. I'll go." She scooted off the bed lazily, her face was still sulking.        "Sigh.. What did I sign up for?" Tiffany ruffled taeyeon's hair.      "Too late to back out now. It's a lifetime contract." Taeyeon stuck out her tongue.        Tiffany shook her head. "Someone please tell me that I won't regret this."      "You won't. It will be the best decision you ever made." Taeyeon quickly gave a peck on Tiffany's cheek. "Aha! I kissed you." She quickly jumped up and point to the dumbfounded Tiffany before running into the toilet.     "And that's my girlfriend for me." Tiffany mumbles to herself as she watches taeyeon disappearing into the bathroom happily. For awhile after a long time, she felt genuinely happy without even trying to fake a smile.        ************     Taeyeon and Tiffany were enjoying breakfast happily when Sunny joined them.        "Goodmorning guys." She greeted before taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools.      "Mowwing." Taeyeon greeted back as she chewed on her toasted bread.      "You just came home this morning?" Sunny asked, still in her sleepy mode.      "Err, anni." Taeyeon answered. She was bewildered by Sunny's random question.      "Oh. Cause I didn't saw you coming home last night and when I woke up at six today, your bed was still empty."        "Ahhhh. I came home. But slept somewhere." She mumbled the last part, smiling half-heartedly, remembering where she slept last night.      "Where?" Sunny was fully awake now.      "Err...Somewhere." Taeyeon looked down. Tiffany looked away.        "Hmmm... Why is the two of you acting so strange?"        "No, we are not. You're the one that that's acting strange this early morning. Are you even awake?" Taeyeon raised one of her eyebrows, pretending to look at Sunny weirdly.      "No I'm not. You guys are. Oh well, whatever." Sunny shrugged. "So what's for breakfast?"        "Taetae, made some peanut butter jelly toast." This time it was Tiffany who replied Sunny.      "Oooo.." Sunny rubbed her hands with glee. "Can I have some too, taetae?" She purposely uses taeyeon's nickname, mocking her.      Taeyeon heard it and shuddered. She glare at Sunny and raised her fist, pretending to hit her.      "What? She can call you that. But I can't?" Sunny retort, pointing at Tiffany.      "She's different. She's special." She answered honestly.        "Oh really? And I'm not?"      "Nope."      "Wow. Thanks. I'm so hurt right now." Sunny clenched her chest, pretending to be in pain.      "Go back into your room and cry alone then." Taeyeon said as she took two pieces of bread and put it in the toaster before sitting back down.      "Oh, like how you always cry at night because of-.."      "Shush!" Taeyeon quickly interjected.      "Like th-.."      "Shhhh!"      "Tif-.."        "Lee Soonkyu!" Taeyeon shout out Sunny's real name sternly, hoping the seriousness in her tone will finally shut the other short person up.      "Fine fine. Zip!" Sunny stick her index finger and thumb toge