5. Bless the broken road      "Woohoo, I'm free. I'm free. I can ran, jump, kick. I'm free!" Tiffany cheered loudly, running around the living room, jumping on the couch before running around again, the moment she entered the dorm.      "Now now, fany. Remember what the doctor said. You still have to take care of your leg. " Taeyeon said as she put her bag onto the couch before slumping her body beside it. She have just return from accompanying Tiffany to the doctor to remove her cast.      Tiffany finally calmed down from her excitement and sat beside taeyeon. "Thanks for taking care of me, all this while taetae. "She said as she turned around to face taeyeon and give her the bestest sincere smile.      Taeyeon saw the smile and gulped. She stare intensely into Tiffany's eye and unconsciously smile. You're so pretty when you smile like that. I miss that happy smiles of yours. She then shifted her eyes back to Tiffany's lips and continue staring.      She opened to answer Tiffany but closed back again when nothing came out. She was lost in Tiffany's gaze and her pretty eyesmile.      Tiffany smiled wider when she saw taeyeon spacing out. She scooted closer and reached out for taeyeon's loose fringe, tucking it behind her ears. Taeyeon froze and didn't move when she felt Tiffany's hand lightly brushing the side of her face. She looked up but looked down again when she saw Tiffany's face being so close to her, avoiding her eyes.        "Thank you taetae." Tiffany took taeyeon's hands and hold it. She lifted taeyeon's face by the chin so that she can look at her in the eye. "Thank you." She smiled.      Taeyeon meekly nodded and her eyes inadvertently went to Tiffany's lips again. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. She really wanted to kiss Tiffany. Tiffany noticed where Taeyeon was looking. Her smile started to fade. She gulped nervously. Taeyeon slowly leaned forward and closed her eyes. Tiffany took a deep breath and swallowed. She too closed her eyes, waiting for taeyeon's lips to touch hers.      Both jerked and opened their eyes when a sudden ringing tone startled them. They both looked at each other in the eye and awkwardly looked away when they realised what they almost done.      Tiffany quickly rummaged through her bag in search for the ringing device and answered it.      "Hello. Yes, I'm at the dorm...What?! You're here? Ok, I'll head down in a minute.Meet you at the park nearby. Bye." Tiffany said in English before ending the call. She kept her phone and looked down on her lap.      "Nickhun?" Taeyeon was the first to break the awkward atmosphere.      "D-dae."      "Meeting him?"      "D-dae."        "Well, you should go." Taeyeon tried to sound impassive.      "I will." Tiffany paused. "Tae, abo-.." She wanted to ask but was afraid that it would make their friendship awkward.      Taeyeon knew what Tiffany was referring to. She took a deep breath and answered. "I'm sorry. Let's just pretend that didn't happen alright?"      Tiffany merely nodded. But the truth is, her heart was aching. What? Just pretend it didn't happen? What am I to you, taeyeon-ah?      "Alright, go and meet him. Wouldn't want him to keep waiting right?" Taeyeon tries her best to fake a smile and entered her room. She pounded her chest a few times, wanting to get rid of that aching pain. "Ahhh!" She silently screamed into her pillow. fany-ah, fany-ah. And then there's him. Arghhhhhh!        Tiffany didn't even react when taeyeon moved to her room. She stayed seated and spaces out.  What was that feeling just now? When she almost kissed me, that feeling? That tingly feeling. I don't even have that kind of feeling when I first kiss him. And that ache when she said pretend nothing happen. What is this? And why do I feel as though I'm cheating on oppa?      She was snapped out of her thoughts when her phone rang again. She frowned when she saw the name of the caller.      "Yes yes, I'm coming down. Does it kill you to have a little patience?" She hissed and ended the call without even waiting for his answer.      "What does he want?" She muttered under her breath, kept the phone in her pocket and head out. Her relationship with Nickhun have took a turn for the worst. He was always busy and with her injury, they seldom have time to meet. They would talk or exchange text every now and then but sometimes those text or calls would turn into an argument when one was late to reply or pick up the call or return the call. Sometimes, they would even go for weeks without talking and Tiffany didn't mind at all. Because taeyeon was always there to keep her mind of him. It had became more torturing to meet him or talk to him. And sometimes, she didn't even want to see his face or hear his voice. Sometimes, she felt like ending it all but yet she didn't want to because she didn't want to be alone, she didn't want her heart to fall for taeyeon again.      ***********   Tiffany dragged her feet across the living room, threw her phone onto the coffee table and plopped her body down on the couch. She sighed and stared at the blinking screen in front of her       "Another fight?" She turned to towards the voice and nodded.      "About what now?" Jessica asked, concernly. She was getting worried looking at Tiffany having fight over the phone or came home looking exhausted and angry. Her cheerful smile were gone, replaced by fake, forceful smile. A smile just to fool everyone around her that she is fine and happy.      "The usual. What's new?" Tiffany answered tiredly. She were too tired from the arguments she just had with Nickhun over the phone.      Jessica nodded. She didn't want to pry to much, wanting to give her own Tiffany space.      "Do you think I'm a demanding girlfriend?" Tiffany asked after a few seconds of silence.      "Why do you ask?"      "Because oppa said I expect too much from him. I keep asking him to be this and that. To be someone he's not."      "You compared him to someone?"      Tiffany nodded. "You can put it that way."      "To who? Your exes?"      "Anni."      "Then?"      "Taeyeon."        "What? Taeyeon?" Jessica was shocked.        "Dae. Her attentiveness. Her caring gesture. The way she cares for me and try to makes me happy. Her gaze towards me. I can't help but to expect those from oppa too. " Tiffany smiled shyly      "Do you love her more than oppa?" Jessica whispered.      "What?" Tiffany blurted out in English. "No. I don't feel that way towards her. I just like her behavior towards me. And I thought oppa should do all that towards me. But no." She paused and inwardly sighed. "But I know I like him and we have a connection, that's why I refuse to let go. But someday, I just can't help compare him to her. I'm weird isn't it?"        "No you're not. And I don't think you love him enough. Not as much as you love taeyeon."      "What? No. I love him that's why I agreed to be with him. He makes me happy, sometimes." Tiffany added the last word sadly.      "Listen Tiff." Jessica spoke in English. "You may be attracted to another person but you simply can't fall in love with him if someone else have already taken your heart. And Kim Taeyeon have took your heart away."        "I-i.." Tiffany didn't know how to answer to that. She reread Jessica's words again in her mind.      "If you're not happy, end it. Before you hurt more people in the process." Jessica stood up and walked away, leaving Tiffany to think things through on her own.       is she right? Was Nickhun oppa just a tool for me to not love taeyeon? To prevent me from committing any sin. Do I truly love taeyeon? What should I do?  Tiffany kept replaying Jessica's word in her head until she was satisfied with her own conclusion. She switches off the TV and just decided to go to sleep, following the flow and whatever God has in store for her.      ***********   Tiffany removed her shoes and slammed the door behind her. She then stomped her way past the living room, covering her face with her arm.      "Hey, Tiff. We ordered-.." Jessica stopped talking when she saw Tiffany stomping past her and into her room. She then turn around to face her bewildered members and turned back again to look at Tiffany's room which has already had its door closed.      "I'll check on her." Jessica said, putting down the chicken in her hand before taking a napkin to wipe her hands clean.      "I'll go." Taeyeon stood up and stopped Jessica by her wrist. "Let me." She continued when Jessica turned to face her.      "Ok then." Jessica said and sit back down, resuming eating her chicken.      Taeyeon make her way to Tiffany's room and knock on the door. She waited but let herself into the room when there were no respond from Tiffany.      "Fany?" Taeyeon called out, trying to adjust her eyes to the pitch dark room.      She could only hear the sound of sobbing at the corner of the room and make her way there.        Taeyeon stealthily make her way towards the sound and found herself nearing the bed. She switches on the bed lamp on the nightstand and sat on the bed before reaching out for Tiffany who was sitting at the corner of the bed. Her knees were pressed against her chest, face buried into her knees.        "What's wrong?" Taeyeon pulled Tiffany into a hug. Tiffany didn't retaliate and followed the pull. She weaves her hands around taeyeon's waist.      "What's wrong?" Taeyeon repeated her question and Tiffany's back, soothing her down. Her heart ache hearing Tiffany's cries. It felt like a stab in the heart with every sob she heard but yet she knew she can't do anything about it.        "What's wrong?" Taeyeon tried to pushes Tiffany's head away to look at her but Tiffany tightened her hold around taeyeon's waist and buried her head deeper.      "T-tae-taeyeon-ah.." Tiffany said softly between her cries.      "What's wrong fany-ah? Shhh..shhh.. Don't cry, don't cry."        "T-tae..t-taeyeon.." Tiffany sniffed and sobbed harder.      "Shhhh.. Shhh.. Tell me what's wrong?" Taeyeon continued to hug Tiffany tighter and her back gently.      "H-he.. H-he b-broke with m-m-m-m-me..." Tiffany cries louder.        Taeyeon tensed and froze for awhile. She was silently happy that Tiffany was single again, giving her another chance to be with Tiffany but yet she felt sympathy for Tiffany. She felt angry for Tiffany. She wanted to punch that person who was hurting Tiffany. All she wanted was Tiffany to be happy and smiling always, not crying and shed a tear like she was right now. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to tell Tiffany it's not worth to cry for him and take the opportunity to confess and make Tiffany hers but she knew it would be selfish to do so. She wanted to let Tiffany cry and just let it out but her heart ache seeing Tiffany like this.      "Shhhh..shhh..Don't cry. Don't cry." That was the only thing she could tell Tiffany right now. You still have me, you still have me. I love you fany-ah.      "W-what..should I d-do t-taeyeon-ah.. What should I do?"      Taeyeon kept quiet and hugged Tiffany tighter. She kept soothing and calming Tiffany down.      Tiffany tightened her hold on the fabric of taeyeon's shirt and sobbed. "He's g-gone. He's gone.."        Taeyeon clenched her jaw and took a deep breath. It hurts to see Tiffany like this. "It's ok. You'll be ok. I'm here, fany. I'm here." And I will always be here. She kept that thought in her head. "Don't cry anymore."      Tiffany nodded her head but her tears keep flowing out and her heart was aching. She can't believe she just got dumped. She cried and cried and cried, not even caring if her eyes were swollen the next day or she was wetting taeyeon's shirt with her tears.      Taeyeon just sat there, hugging Tiffany tightly and her back, silently telling her that everything will be fine. She just wanted to be there for Tiffany and make her feel better, not with words but with her presence and giving her warmth to Tiffany, in hope to make Tiffany realise that she's not alone.      Tiffany sniffed and wipe the remaining of her tears on her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She straightened up in her seat and smoothen down her bangs, avoiding looking at taeyeon's face, feeling embarassed that she cried badly in front of taeyeon.      "It's ok." Taeyeon smiled for the first time ever since she entered Tiffany's room. She thought that Tiffany looked cute.      "I'll get you a shirt to change." Tiffany wanted to stood up.      "No, it's ok. I'm fine with it." Taeyeon quickly stopped her.      "Have you eaten?" Taeyeon asked after a brief silence.      Tiffany shook her head.      "Do you want to eat anything?"     Tiffany shook her head again.      "Why not?"      "N-no." Tiffany's voice cracked due to too much crying. She cleared and answered again. "No appetite."      Taeyeon smiled again but expertly hide it from Tiffany, not wanting her to misunderstood her for finding her situation funny. The fact is, taeyeon was finding tiffany looking very cute right now despite looking like a mess after crying her eyes out.      Taeyeon stood up and Tiffany finally looked up from looking down at the floor ever since she stopped crying.      "Where are you going?" Tiffany asked. She didn't want to be left alone.      Taeyeon didn't answer. She took a few sheet of tissues from the tissue box and sat back down. "No where." She answered and wipes Tiffany's glistening eyes and tear stained cheek. She then places the tissue over Tiffany's nostril.    "Blow" Taeyeon instructed.      Tiffany blew a few times and taeyeon wiped it clean for Tiffany. She then crumpled all the used tissue and places in on the nightstand, mentally reminding herself to throw it away later.      For the next few minutes, they sat in silence. Tiffany was having her own thoughts about her recent breakup, feeling anguish about it. It was her first heartbreak, her first serious relationship and her first time being dumped by heartless guy. She felt her heart breaking again and sadness surging up. She sniffed and bit her bottom lips, not wanting her tears to fall again.      Taeyeon heard it. She stood up and kneeled in front of Tiffany. "Stop crying ok. It's his loss, not yours." She tried to coax Tiffany this time.      Tiffany nodded but she can't prevent a tear from trickling down.      Taeyeon saw it and her heart hurts. Her eyes were throbbing yet again and she tries hard to battle her own tears. She took a deep breathe and uses her thumb to wipes Tiffany's tears away. "Don't cry anymore." She paused and look at Tiffany in the eye. "It hurts" She whispered to herself. She didn't meant to say that out loud.      "What?" Tiffany asked when she thought she heard taeyeon said something.      "Nothing." Taeyeon quickly dismissed it. "Go to sleep. Sleep it off. Everything will be fine tomorrow." She then scooted aside and straightened Tiffany's leg   Tiffany didn't oppose and she was too exhausted to do so. She let taeyeon tuck her to bed.      "Sleep." Taeyeon sat on the edge of the bed beside Tiffany's thigh and patted it while looking at Tiffany.        "Sleep..." Taeyeon covered Tiffany's eye when she noticed Tiffany was staring at her.      Tiffany removed taeyeon's hand from covering her side and hold it with both her hands, clasping them together close to her chest.      "Will you sleep with me tonight?" Tiffany asked. She needs taeyeon, she needs taeyeon's comforting hold. She didn't want to brave the lonely night alone.      Taeyeon widened her eyes at the request. She gulped. "W-well.." Taeyeon didn't know what to answer.  As much as she wants to be there for Tiffany, she was afraid that her mind will be up to no good when she was in the room with Tiffany alone.      "Please." Tiffany pleaded when she sensed taeyeon's hesitation.      Taeyeon took a deep breathe and exhaled. She knew she have no other choice. "Alright. Be right back."      "Where are you going?" Tiffany quickly asked, holding tightly to taeyeon's hand      "To take my pillow and blanket?"        "For?"      "To sleep on the floor." Taeyeon innocently answered. Tiffany's bed was a single sized bed and she knew it was impossible for them to sleep on that bed together unless they squeezed together. Which means, she will need to sleep close to Tiffany, with little or no gap in between.       "You can sleep on the bed." Tiffany scooted to the side a little and patted the empty space beside her.        "That's too squeezy and one of us will fall off, surely."      "I'll hold you tightly." Tiffany didn't care anymore how desperate she sound. Neither does she care if she will make things awkward between them. She just needs taeyeon.       Taeyeon contemplated a little before agreeing.      "Alright." Taeyeon switches off the bed lamp. She then tucked herself under the cover and lay her head on the pillow just next to Tiffany's head. She clasped her hands on her stomach and stare at the ceiling. I'll just stay like this. This way nothing can go wrong. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.      Taeyeon opened her eyes again and stole a side glance at Tiffany when she felt the bed shift. She quickly shifted her eyes back to the ceiling when she saw Tiffany's face just inches away from her. She shut her eyes tight, wanting to fall asleep as soon as possible.      Tiffany snuggled close and hooked her hands around taeyeon's arm. Taeyeon eyes flew open again. She tightened her grip on the fabric of her shirt, trying to control her racing heart. She could feel Tiffany's breath on her neck and she was glad that the room was dark, allowing her to hide her face which were probably red as tomato.      Stay calm, Kim Taeyeon. Stay calm. Just stay this way. Go to sleep now. Go to sleep. Taeyeon tried hard to control her breathing and hypnotize herself to fall asleep.      "Hug me, taeyeon-ah." Tiffany mumbles. She nuzzled her head deeper in between taeyeon's shoulder and neck.      "Dae?" Taeyeon looked at Tiffany to ensure that she wasn't sleep talking.        "Hug me." Tiffany repeated again.      "Hug?" That question was more directed to herself but Tiffany heard it. She nodded.        Taeyeon swallowed. She shifted in her position, facing Tiffany. Slowly, she draped her arm around Tiffany's shoulder, resting it on her back. Tiffany shifted too, snuggling more comfortably against taeyeon, letting taeyeon to cradle her.        "Thank you." Tiffany mumbled. "Goodnight."      "Goodnight" taeyeon replied. She did everything in her power to not lean down and kiss Tiffany's forehead. In the end, she slides her hand lower, resting it on Tiffany's hip and pulled her close. Surprisingly, taeyeon felt comfortable sleeping with Tiffany despite the small space. Her heart was racing and jumping for joy that night. It was the first time she's sleeping with Tiffany in her arms. She mentally jotted down in her brain and categorize it under one of her memories with Tiffany. She smiled and for the first time in a long while, she was smiling to sleep instead of crying.      ************   Taeyeon stirred in her sleep when she felt the bed move. She groaned, cursing mentally at whoever was disturbing her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes, adjusting it to the brightnes