"What are you doing here?" Kangin asked, he noted how still the other became, his eyes moving constantly about in aimless direction.

He asked the question once more, it was only later did Leeteuk find the courage to speak. "I was taking a walk."

Kangin arched an eyebrow at the answer. No one in their right mind would be walking about now, they were the few exceptions to the otherwise empty streets. He noticed how the other clutched the cane almost defensively.

"I... I need to get home." Leeteuk said at once.

"If you don't live around here, I doubt you'll be getting home." Kangin maintained his gaze on his eyes, noting how they seemed vacant, almost lifeless. "The roads are closed, haven't you heard the news?"

Leeteuk shifted his eyes, it was apparent that the other didn't at all, not that he would bother to listen if he did.

"I'm assuming you don't live nearby?" Leeteuk lowered his head, confirming that he didn't. He knew that nonetheless, only the wealthy could afford such housing in the city.

"My brother must be worried." Leeteuk murmured to himself.

Kangin continued looking at his almost fragile state. The pieces formed and he came to his conclusion, but he didn't dare to ask it out loud to confirm his suspicions.

"Stay the night at my place." He uttered, startling the other, before Leeteuk could reject it he said. "It's only for one night. You can't go home and there's no way your brother can reach you here."

Nothing he said seemed to convince the other.

"I won't do anything." He insisted. "Or is it... That aside from money, I can't even offer a warm shelter either?"

Leeteuk stayed quiet. Kangin gave a stoic smile.

"It's not as if you haven't stayed there before."

Leeteuk ignored his tone. He was hesitant to comply, yet as the minutes passed, he heard no footsteps. He wandered his shaking hand in front of him and met with Kangin's chest. He flinched his hand away, knowing that the other wouldn't leave unless he went along, for that alone did he agree. And to his knowledge, he had no other choice.

The other man wouldn't lie to him, and as the temperatures dropped even further, he nodded his head.

"Here." Kangin said, Leeteuk blinked, reaching out until he gripped lightly on his elbow. He followed beside him, trying to keep his distance, yet as the painful winds passed by, he found himself standing closer to the man.

He tried to distract himself, avoiding speaking entirely until he heard a door open. Once inside, a wave of warm air engulfed him. Leeteuk shivered from the leftover cold, he may have liked its moments, but there times when he needed to escape its icy clutches.

"We're here now." Kangin declared politely, Leeteuk let go of his arm. He tried to step away. He wasn't afraid of the other man, if anything, it was his advances. This hadn't been the first time they were together like this, but he couldn't push him away. His lack of sight making this impossible.

He still couldn't overcome this sense of protection, he felt even more vulnerable, wishing he could do what others tell him to do, relax and learn this lifestyle. Some who even claimed there was barely a difference.

Not that he wasn't clumsy enough, failing to be aware of his surroundings, his sight being taken away had ruined his few sense of protections. He couldn't run aimlessly with no destination, couldn't avoid who he didn't want to see, who he wasn't ready to meet just yet.

"Please, just... Keep a distance." He pleaded, hoping the other would listen, not that he would know. He crossed his arms, as if it could somehow protect himself.

He couldn't see Kangin reluctantly stepping away, but he heard him settle about in his apartment as he stood wherever he was, assuming that he was in some part of the living room.

"I don't want the bed." He said loudly before Kangin could offer it.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

"If you don't, I'll leave." Leeteuk countered, firm on his stance as he waited for other's reply. A short silence ensued until finally the other gave a deep breath. He flinched as Kangin touched his arm.

"I'm only going to help you to it, nothing more." He assured. Leeteuk nodded feebly, trying to move accordingly as the other helped. Even now, he wasn't good at taking physical or even voiced direction.

He sat on the couch, sitting almost too still.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat or drink?" Leeteuk shook his head. "If you need anything, call for me."

He nodded, but silently knew he would do nothing of the sort. He still shivered as his body accommodated the heart, his gloves remaining on his hands as he huddled further into his jacket and scarf. He tried to remain quiet, but unaware of how long it had been, his eyelids gradually grew heavier.

Kangin stepped back into the living room, changed as he noted how the other man was now laying across his couch, fast asleep. He walked back into his bedroom and returned, stepping beside the leather couch as he placed the covers considerately over his body.

Leeteuk moved slightly, but still remained soundly asleep as Kangin sat down beside the couch. He outstretched his hand and gently brushed his bangs away. His eyes stared at the cane that remained beside him, questions looming about, partly ashamed of feeling any animosity towards the other.

The very same bitterness that seemed to disappear as his gaze rested on the older man's peaceful expression, lacked of the earlier fear and hesitation.

He sighed heavily. "You don't remember me at all do you?" Kangin asked quietly, his fingers tracing over the other's hand as he gave a soft solemn look. "I was just another kid to you, another one who needed help."

He gave a warm smile as he cradled his hand in his own, not daring to hold it as he wanted to.

"You weren't just another hyung to me." Kangin declared quietly. "Even now, you'll never be just another hyung." He chuckled softly as he laid his head against the couch, gazing at their barely touching hands. He wanted nothing more than to embrace him, but couldn't, yet he couldn't leave his side either.

"I'm sorry." His words on deaf ears as he lowered his eyes. "I can't let you go."

-

"You what?!" Yesung nearly yelled, Leeteuk waited until the other calmed down. "I know I wanted you to talk to him again, but sleeping with—"

"I didn't sleep with him." Leeteuk corrected. "I just... Ended up in a bad situation."

Yesung leaned back against the seat of Leeteuk's house, calming himself down as he didn't exaggerate the information given. "But he didn't do anything to you right? Exploit the situation or pressured you into anything?" Leeteuk shook his head, Yesung tilted his head. "Strange. I'm used to him being more persistent."

Leeteuk lowered his eyes, Yesung studied his silence and the expressions that read loudly on his friend's face. He arched an eyebrow, "You're disappointed, aren't you?" The older man didn't respond as he stood up from the couch, his hand held out as a precaution as he walked to the kitchen counter.

"It's not that." Leeteuk said afterward. "Its been over a year already since I last came back and... That's exactly how it should be."

"You don't think offering you a place to spend the night meant anything more?" Yesung asked skeptically.

"He was being kind, that's it."

-

Yesung stepped into the building he once interned for at the city, although now he earned a titled job. He walked into the familiar office, but instead of Kangin, he met with someone else.

"I thought you called in sick."

Yesung thinned his lips. "I felt better."

"You seem to have more of these miracles lately." Sungmin said coldly. "What do you want?" He then asked, met with raised eyebrows.

"I wasn't aware I had to go through security to meet with him." Yesung replied darkly with his arms crossed. Sungmin didn't reply as he stood behind the table, their glaring match tensing the room when the door finally opened.

"What are you doing here?" Kangin asked casually as he accepted the files from his brother, Yesung quirked a forced smile and gestured his hand. "This boy wouldn't let me through." He stood there waiting as Sungmin remained silent. "What? No comeback?"

Sungmin remained stoic, "Your small hands speak for themselves."

Yesung gave a miffed smile as the other walked past him out of the office. He then called out after him, "I'm not the one with the brother complex!"

"Will you two stop trying to outdo each other?"

"Once he realizes I'm mostly right." Yesung declared. "He still hasn't learned that lesson since grade school."

He then slammed his hands on the table, gripping the edges tightly. "You get your one chance at reconciliation and you don't even bother."

Kangin narrowed his eyes, Yesung remained unfazed as the older man remained standing behind the desk. "You were the one who refused to tell me where he went, even what happened when he stopped showing up at his job."

He then lowered his eyes. Remembering as he stood right before Leeteuk, but the latter unknowingly gazed past him often, and as his gaze trailed to the cane in his possession. He pieced it together, but dreaded the truth.

"I admit that I didn't tell you..." Yesung cleared his throat, shifting the blame. "But your approach wasn't winning him back, was it now?"

Kangin ignored him as he sat in his seat, Yesung shook himself from the ebbing composure. "He's been through a lot since you last saw him. But he didn't want you to see him even in that state—"

"Why not?"

"Why not ask him instead?" Yesung countered. "If you wanted an excuse to talk to him, then there it is on a silver platter."

He walked from the office, lost in his own train of thought when he waited outside the elevators. He felt a presence beside him, he wasn't sure how long Sungmin had been standing beside him.

"Why are you playing matchmaker?"

"I knew you were listening in." Sungmin ignored his taunt. Yesung then explained. "They both haven't moved on. You know this as well as I do."

"It doesn't mean it's the best thing."

"Just because they're both stubborn doesn't mean they don't deserve a shot." He looked back to see Sungmin's usual stoic expression. "Even though he's the older brother, it's nice seeing you worry so much."

"Someone has to."

Yesung stepped inside once the elevator doors opened. He turned around and leaned against the wall. With a wave of the hand before the doors could fully close, he murmured under his breath, "If you bothered to look around, you'd realize there's someone watching out for you too."

-

Leeteuk turned his head once he heard the door click, recognizing how his brother opened it and the familiar drop of the keys. He greeted Siwon and thought back, trying to remember what he was just thinking of. But as always when easily distracted, he had forgotten.

"Class was fine." Siwon answered, Leeteuk thought he heard could even see that smile on his face.

"The expenses haven't been taken care of yet, have they?" He asked in visible concern. He felt a soft pat on his shoulder, in his brother's language, it meant not to worry. But it was impossible not to, considering he could nothing yet to increase the income, not with his parents asking him to adjust first before working.

Restless, he found himself wandering about the city as often as he could, acting as an escape from the household. Money may be not be as issue as it was before, but it's crippling hold still lingered.

He stepped inside the small, finding his way to the bookstore and through the braille section. While the store was considerate, they didn't think of the tall bookshelves it seemed.

Leeteuk jumped slightly at an odd sound he didn't recognized.

"Don't be afraid, it's just a phone."

He felt the air hitch in his throat, and tried to relax. "I wasn't afraid, I just didn't recognize the sound."

Their encounters continued the longer he stayed in this city, one too large for it to happen by chance. He wondered briefly if the fates were against him.

"So you say." Kangin grabbed for the audio book from the high shelf and placed it in Leeteuk's hands.

"Thank you," He murmured, grateful, but wishing he could have done it himself.

When he was younger, he volunteered a few times in the community home, often pitying those who came by and needed dire help. But there were always the few who reluctantly accepted it, a realization always puzzled him. It was only now did he understand why they were reluctant to forgo their pride.

He turned his head, tracing his hands and cane until he reached an empty table. He admitted he wasn't skilled with using his senses just yet, even the cane felt like it was holding him back because he couldn't decipher the simple signs. For someone who was already barely surviving the world, this only hindered it.

"Your family's better now right?" Kangin brought up, interrupting his thoughts.

Leeteuk nodded. "Since then, they're more careful over their finances. We don't want to be in the state we were in again." He waited for that question, almost anticipated it, but as the silent minutes passed, he found he may have to prompt it instead. "You're not going to ask me why I'm blind?"

"I'm sure most people interrogate you enough." Leeteuk smiled at his reply.

"You don't have to act noble about it." He reasoned, the bitterness reaching an edge as he recalled the many encounters. "Most people pretend they don't want to know. Yet they're all begging to know how, wanting to know how it feels." He exhaled, "It's fine if you want to know... I don't be offended if you want to at least."

"That's not it." Kangin then explained. "You always hated explaining your background, giving out details whether it dealt with your family's issues or your own... I doubt that's changed."

He wasn't sure what to make of that statement, staying quiet as he heard Kangin's comment. "I assumed that all blind men wear sunglasses though. No dog to help, the cane I see only every now and then."

"I'm allergic to dogs. And wearing sunglasses in the winter stands out." Leeteuk replied with a wistful smile. He lowered his smile, the same insecurity rising. "Do my eyes bother you?" This question had been one he always wanted to ask others, but Kangin had been the first he asked.

Rather than waiting for an answer however, Leeteuk abruptly stood up, excusing himself politely as he left.

Sungmin eyed the blind man who went about his way, staying idly by since the moment Kangin noticed the man within the store. "He didn't notice I was here at all."

"He was never one to notice his surroundings." Kangin said, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Sungmin crossed his arms, studying the departing figure. "You're only grateful to him because he helped you in the past, give him money and be off with it." Sungmin deadpanned. "Don't let this become an obsession."

Kangin didn't take his cold words to heart, knowing his brother didn't understand. That rather than taking it into an offense, he knew that such a warning was far too late.

Far longer than he had known even Sungmin, before he ran a sector of this company, even before they had started dating. There weren't times when he'd simply stop what he was doing and allowed the consumed memories to resurface. The feelings that first emerged since youth, unable to wave off their second meeting as pure coincidence, their third as just mere chance. Maybe they really were coincidences, but he couldn't pass up those chances.

Unless he could turn back that past, then there was nothing stopping from pursing him a second time.

His younger brother examined his expression and sighed, "If you're that concerned, force him into your car. Doesn't seem he can fight back even if he wanted to."

Kangin gave a playful glare in his direction but agreed nonetheless. Sungmin pursed his lips once the other hurried from his seat, chasing after him. He mused the thought of their relationship, puzzled by the complex why's and how's, still not understanding.

Then again, Sungmin's inexperience made him unable to relate to it. He wondered if he'd honestly ever feel that way towards anyone. And as he recalled the array of emotions on Kangin's face, his attention that focused attentively on Leeteuk, the gaze that warmed at the sight of him.

Despite his reluctance, Sungmin decided it may not be the worst thing.

-

Leeteuk felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched away, Kangin pulled back his hand as they stood on the snow packed sidewalk, panting to catch his breath. "I'll offer you a ride home."

"I can get home by myself." Leeteuk countered, but the other sighed.

"For my peace of mind at least."

Leeteuk considered that offer, Kangin waited by, knowing the other hated burdening others but also make them worry. Shortly after, Leeteuk gave a firm nod.

The ride home was much quieter than Leeteuk had expected. He could count the words spoken with one hand, thinking it was nothing like Kangin's old self who would pressure him otherwise. And as the car pulled to a stop, still in silence, he decided that it may have been for the best. If this was a sign that Kangin had moved on, it was... it had to be for the best.

"Are you afraid?"

He raised his head at the question, mulling over until he insisted. "I'm not afraid." He hoped it convinced himself as much as the other, in the midst of his silent struggle, he froze once a pair of arms reached around towards him.

"I wish you were," He heard Kangin say. "Because then I would have a reason for holding you."

Leeteuk swallowed slightly, a part of him taking in the meaning, but the other attempting to see nothing of it.

"I can let go, but I don't want to. You feel the same, don't you?

"You can't dictate how a person will feel—"

"Your heart is already reacting, and whether you realize it or not, your body language says enough."

Leeteuk pursed his lips, trying to appear as stoic as possible. He murmured a soft "It's not fair."

Kangin chuckled. "Because I can read you easily?" Leeteuk lowered his eyelids, feeling solemn at the thought that he wasn't able to do the same. He then felt his hands lift, pulled together as they were held against his chest. He tried to pull them away, but Kangin's strength had always overcame his.

"You can't see my body language, my expressions, nothing to warn you whether I'm sincere or not." Kangin explained. "Even now, you try to study my tone of voice but you're not very good at it. Although you were never one for understanding emotions either."

Leeteuk froze as he Kangin held his hands closer to his chest. Leeteuk wanted to push him away, and as he felt the need to as he straightened his fists and laid them flat, ready to shove him away. But it was only then that he was able to feel a subtle pounding, one that seemed faster than average.

"It only seems fair that you realize my weakness as well I know yours."

-

Leeteuk leaned against the wall of his bedroom, wrapped in thin sheets, not bothering to turn up the heater as he embraced the cold feeling.

He wished he could become numb from everything.

He opened his eyes every so often, but the outcome never changed. He smiled bitterly. Did he think it somehow would?

His fingers gripped the sheets when he recognized the texture of his scarf. Prompting the scene to replay, he clutched it closer towards him, burying his face within, hiding the reddened hue that marked his cheeks.

Kangin wouldn't relent, he doubted he ever could. Although he found himself relieved, a contrast to the timid hesitance he held towards the man. His vacant eyes remained rooted.

Kangin was taking initiative, and he wondered if he could face that.

Yet how much longer could he pretend to ignore it? A task he was never able to succeed at doing even before. And despite his lack of sight, it seemed he could feel it clearly now, finding it impossible to ignore.

He still felt lost, aimless in where to go, where to be, a constant feeling that haunted him since the day of the accident. Running with no direction, only hoping it'd lead for the best. He was afraid to admit it scared him.

But as Kangin held his hands, he felt that sensation dwindle slightly, he felt secured.

Step by step, he was slowly finding direction.