Saera checked her reflection in the mirror before putting on her ankle boots. She checked the weather on her phone and decided that it would be a good idea to wear ear muffs and a scarf along with her thick coat. The temperature in Seoul dropped immensely overnight and was below freezing point. She was just about to open her door when it suddenly slammed open. Woohyun was stood on the other side wearing his signature coat that made him look like an Eskimo.

 

He looked at Saera, and threw her a heart before he grabbed her arm and dragged her out. 

 

 

He didn’t even notice that her boots weren’t properly buckled yet. He was just that excited to get Saera out of the house that she always cooped up in that he forgot about all the normal things that were required.

 

It was just Woohyun and Saera who lived in this complex. The boys had an agreement that Saera couldn’t survive on her own, and considering that she was closest to Woohyun they all decided that he was the one to be her neighbour – that was before he moved in with her. Because of that, all the others were scattered in different areas of the city. This weekend’s visit was going to be at Sungyeol’s apartment which he shared with Sungjong all the way in Gangnam. Those two were the rich Sung brothers who were able to accommodate themselves in such a lavish lifestyle.

 

Woohyun didn’t stop dragging Saera until they reached his car which was close to the entrance. This was good because it allowed Saera time to buckle her shoes. She straightened up and glared at Woohyun who looked at her blankly before pinching her cheeks.

 

“Sae! You don’t look fierce at all! You look like this cute little bunny rabbit and I just wanna keep pinching your cheeks to see if rainbows will ooze out of them!!!” Woohyun stopped what he was doing and stared at his hands, “Saera… DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I BECOME CRAZY?! OH MY GOODNESS. I’M LOSING IT. I’M OFFICIALLY LOSING IT! FROM NOW ON YOU’RE COMING WITH US EVERY WEEKEND OR ELSE I’M GOING TO ACT CRAZY AND I CAN’T EVEN…”

 

“Oppa, it’s fine. Just get in the car so we can go already.” Saera opened the door and slid inside while rubbing her cheeks. Once Woohyun entered the car she turned to him, “by the way. Your pinches are hard. My cheeks hurt.”

 

“Aww, wittuw Saewa needs a wittuw mowe pinches hmm?” Woohyun cooed as he turned the car on.

 

“Shut up,” she murmured, as she turned to the side a small smile formed on her face.

 

The whole drive to Gangnam was long but it was worth it. Woohyun had Christmas songs blasting from his radio and sang along to each and every one. There were some English ones that he attempted but epically failed despite his efforts.

 

“Last Chreemasss I gev you mai huuuuuurt~~”

 

Saera was glad that she wasn’t driving. It allowed her the chance to cover her ears with her hands. Despite already wearing ear muffs and covering her ears with her hands his voice still wasn’t blocked out. He may have an amazing voice, but for some reason he wasn’t doing his voice any justice because he was purposely going off key. But when the ones he knew came on, Saera felt herself get lulled in by his voice and drifted off into dreamland.

 

When Woohyun noticed that she fell asleep he chuckled. They had just got off the main roads and were now leisurely driving around looking for the perfect parking space that wasn’t a far walk from the apartment that they were going to. But Woohyun knew better than that. They always stayed the night at the Sung Brothers’ apartment and even though Saera forgot, Woohyun knew to keep a spare set of her clothes in the back of his car. Let’s just say that they had their fair share of running away so he knew the protocol by now.

 

Satisfied with their parking space, Woohyun shook Saera’s shoulder. He sighed when she didn’t even move and took a deep breath, “SWEETHEART WE HAVE ARRIVED AT OUR DEAR FRIENDS’ HOME. DOES THE FAIR MAIDEN WISH TO COMETH WITH ME OR WOULD SHE REQUEST FOR A LONGER SLUMBER?” he shouted right next to her ear.

 

Saera sat up straight, narrowly missing Woohyun’s nose and turned to the left. “WOOHYUN WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

 

He blinked at her then pointed to the building on her right. She turned and made a small noise.

 

“You didn’t have to shout you know…” She quietly said as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

 

“Ehe?...” Woohyun didn’t have much to say. To say the least he was quite shocked at her behaviour because not once did she snap at him in their long friendship. He didn’t want to stay in the car any longer in case she found more reasons to become mad at him so he quickly left the car and rushed to her side and opened the door for her. He then went to the rear of the car and unlocked it, taking out two duffel bags. He handed the lightest one to Saera who stared at it until it registered in her mind that they were staying the night like old times.

 

The two made their way up to the entrance of the building and passed the glass doors. They waved to the doorman who tipped his hat at them. Woohyun even made the show of winking at the receptionist who stopped what she was typing and simply stared at him, mouth ajar. Saera shook her head in disappointment and elbowed his stomach. The face he must have made must have not been attractive at all since the receptionist flinched and looked away without any second thoughts. Woohyun turned and glared at Saera who only gave him a peace sign with one eye closed. When they reached the lift, it opened automatically and they both got in. Just as the door was about to close, a hand slipped between it and pulled the doors apart. Saera stared at the hand as it separated the door. It looked like something from a horror movie which caused Woohyun to scream. Before Saera herself could let out a scream the doors opened to show an out of breath Myungsoo.

 

"You could have waited you know? Did you two not even hear me?" He asked between breaths making his way into the elevator.

 

Woohyun was still in shock, "we didn't hear you...Dude! Don't do that again! That freaked me out! I thought you were something from a horror film or something! Seeriously..." He turned to the other side and leaned away from Myungsoo.

 

Myungsoo nonchalantly shrugged at Saera who questioningly looked at him. "What can I say? I can make anyone scream, even men." He threw a wink at Woohyun who ignored him even more by turning to the side even more and pressed the 4th button.

 

The doors opend with a ding and the three walked out to one of the three doors on the floor. They didn't even have to guess if anyone was home because they could hear loud music and shouts coming from within. However some of the conversations were muffled. They looked at each other and nodded before leaning their ears on the door. 

 

"YAH! HOW COULD YOU?! I BAKED THE COOKIES AND YOUR DEVOURED THEM IN TEN SECONDS!"

 

"DON'T YAH ME! I AM YOUR HYUNG HOW NOW GO AWAY! I NEEDED THE ENERGY SINCE NO ONE HELPED ME DECORATE THIS HOME."

 

"EXCUSE ME I HELPED YOU, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BRAT!"

 

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! QUIET DOWN I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE GRINCH HERE! IT'S ALMOST MY FAVOURITE PART!"

 

The three outsite the door couldn't hold it in anymore and laughed. They all sat down on the wall opposite the door and tried composing themselves. But they couldn't because of how the conversations continued on from what they heard. Their laughter must have been really loud because the door opened revealing two smiling faces. They stood up and walked into the home of the Sung Brothers. Along the way Saera wiped a tear of joy that escaped her eye and dumped her bag on the floor near the entrance. She took off her shoes and put on the slippers that she brought since they always visited the Sung Brothers' home. When she finished putting on her slippers she looked up and backed away from the intense stares of the others.

 

"You've been a naughty little girl Saera. Telling us that you weren't going to come. Ignoring us when we reach out to you. Why would you want to suffer alone like this? There's six of us still here Saera. We're still here... We may have no meant the same to you as he did to you but don't you care for us too? At least I hoped you did..." Sungjong stared at Saera waiting for her reaction. They told each other that they weren't going to interrogate her, that they were to leave to her adjust back in the the norm but he couldn't take it anymore. He needed answers right away.

 

Saera blinked at him, and walked over to him. She raised her arms and gave him a hug, "I've missed you too..." She looed at all the six faces. "I've missed you Sungyeol Oppa, I've missed you Sunggyu Oppa, I've missed you Myungsoo Oppa, I've missed you Dongwoo Oppa. I even miss you Woohyun Oppa..."

 

"And she's back." Myungsoo announced, walked over to Sungyeol who was watching the television, "anything else good on?" He asked.

 

And just like that they returned back to normal.

 

A few hours in, Dongwoo walked over to Saera and rubbed the back of his head. "Sae, I have something to say to you... And I think it's best that we talked outside for a bit..." 

 

They grabbed their coats and went out to the balcony. Fog came out from their mouths each time they breathed, and the weather grew colder by the minute.

 

"Don't get mad at me, but I knew what Hoya was going through."

 

Saera stopped playing with her gloves and looked up at him, "what do you mean exactly?"

 

"I knew that his illness came back. I knew that he was secretly getting treatments. I knew that the treatments caused his depression. I knew that his treatments caused him to become weak. I knew that his illness was killing him. I knew that nothing could be done about it. I knew… I knew… And I have to live with that guilt and…” Dongwoo couldn’t even finish, he was just tired of having to keep it in and hidden.

 

“Oh…” Saera looked up to the sky, “you know I’m not mad at you from keeping it. I always assumed that he had some difficulties. I respect his decision… But it hurts you know? The one man you loved hides this huge secret from you. If he just told me then I could have been with him in his last moments. No… He didn’t tell me. He didn’t want to tell anyone but you…” She looked at Dongwoo and grabbed his hand, “thank you for respecting his decision but I wish you could have just mentioned a little thing. Here I was all along thinking that he died because of me. Did you know… Before he jumped we had a fight? I was always questioning him for his disappearances on our Fridates. Was that when you two were at the hospital?” Dongwoo nodded. “I didn’t know back then. I thought he was cheating on me! Of all people I accused Hoya as a cheater! What kind of girlfriend am I?! My over thinking lead us to having one of our biggest arguments… Our biggest and our last argument. I always thought that the argument was what caused him to jump. I didn’t realize…”

 

Dongwoo pulled Saera in for a hug and rubbed her back, “Saera I’m so sorry. Don’t blame yourself for something he did. It was primarily the drugs he was taking however I won’t lie and say that your argument wasn’t the catalyst of his decision. But there were other factors that were effecting his behaviour and it wasn’t just you. So you have to stop blaming yourself okay? Lots of things were going on in his mind and…”

 

Saera pulled back and patted his face, wiping the tears that were falling in the process, “shh. I understand now. We both were at some fault but it was not something that could have been prevented. It was inevitable that he would pass away at some point. I doubt the treatment was even doing justice for him anyways. It’s okay Oppa. I understand better now. Thank you for telling me.” Saera smiled at him while tapping his cheek comfortingly.

 

Dongwoo wailed and buried his head into Saera’s neck. At least, he attempted to with her scarf in the way.

 

“By the way I have something to tell you. You know the balcony that Hoya’s last steps on earth were? I visit it regularly. And when I’m there I see him. I may be crazy but he always appears when I’m there. I got so used to his appearances that I no longer got shocked by it. I loved just being in his arms. It was like he never left us at all. We would have conversations like a normal couple and… The best part was that he was happy Dongwoo. He no longer looked sad and in pain like before. He was at peace Dongwoo… He was at peace.” Saera smiled up at Dongwoo who smiled back.

 

He took her hand and brought her back into the living room since their conversation was over. He didn’t think twice about what Saera said, truth be told Hoya also regularly visited him and they talked as if he never died…

 

They took their coats off and hung them near the entrance before heading to the kitchen which was filled with food. And knowing the boys she was surrounded with, all the food would be gone by the end of the night. The five boys looked up and smiled gently at Saera. They must have known Dongwoo’s story also. I guess if I went to these gatherings I would have known sooner too. Why am I so stupid to have ignored all these amazing men in front of me? They are all the greatest friends a girl could ever have and I’m super thankful for having them by my side. “Let’s say thanks and begin eating?” She asked.

 

“Not without me.”

 

Hairs on the back of her neck rose. That voice…

 

She turned around, and there was Hoya. He had a white glow around him and he slightly hovered towards the group.

 

“Don’t look so shocked now. Did you think that you would spend Christmas without me?” Hoya grinned.

 

Sunggyu was the first to react and rushed over to Hoya. “You… What…” He reached out and poked Hoya. His hand didn’t go through Hoya which caused a sigh of relief to escape his lips.

 

“I’m not just your ordinary ghost. I’m the LEE HOWON and I am here to bless you with my presence until the end of the night. So enjoy me while you can!”

 

The group cheered, said their grace and ate. Merry songs played on the stereos around the apartment and the Christmas spirit was restored thanks to the new visitor. Everyone was still in shock except Dongwoo and Saera who were laughing with Hoya. Little by little everyone was by his side asking him questions about how he was, and why he was visiting. Questions which were ambiguous since he wasn’t allowed to reveal anything about Heaven during his stay on Earth.

 

Saera walked up to Hoya, “Won… You.” She didn’t say anything else and just hugged him tightly. Her eyes were closed and she breathed in the very same scent that was in his room. I don’t think I’ll ever let go of you. Ever.

 

Hoya looked down at Saera and her hair, “I love you.”

 

She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes, “I love you too.”

 

Hoya leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

 

“Eww!” Sungjong and Myungsoo threw a pillow at the couple who broke away laughing.

 

Saera was arguing with the two immature boys and whacked them continuously with pillows. Hoya was gazing at her with a grin. He missed being with them like this, and he knew that they missed him too. He had seen them cry themselves to sleep, and this was his present to them. To give them that closure that they needed. His eyes returned to Saera who was now whispering something to Myungsoo.

 

I’m sorry Saera but after this night I won’t be back to visit you. Now that you know the truth I can carry on to the next life. I kind of wish that Dongwoo didn’t tell you anything about what happened to me, so that I could stay by your side forever on that balcony. But it would have been wrong to keep something like this from you. I will miss you my love. I want you to move on, but never forget me. Never forget our love. I hope you grow from our experience. I wish all the best for you, and I will always be watching over you. Whenever you’re sad or depressed, the wind that will dry your tears will be my hands wiping them away. Whenever you’re scared and you feel that tingle in your stomach that will be me hugging you. Whenever you are laughing I will be there laughing along with your happiness. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t realize how it would have affected us. I only wish I could have told you instead. You being by my side could have helped me… You could have coaxed me out of my depression. You could have helped me live through it. You could have been motivation for me to keep on living. Having a future with you was all that I wished for, but I screwed that up didn’t I? I’m so sorry that I had to die. I’m so sorry that I’ve left you. Please please please please forgive me Saera. I am a coward. I am not someone worthy of you since I did this to myself. But please forgive me.

 

Saera must have felt what Hoya was saying through his intense gaze since she looked back at him with a solemn gaze. She merely nodded slowly and attempted a smile. ‘I will miss you’ she mouthed.

 

He beckoned her over and wrapped his arms around her. “For the whole night, you’re staying in my arms. You’ll always be in my arms. You won’t need a coat because I’ll be hugging you.”

 

Saera giggled and buried her head into his neck, “you cheesy dork.” She looked up and his face, “I love you Won.” She looked to his eyes, “I will always love you my Won and only.”

 

Hoya turned his head to laugh, “now who’s cheesy?”

 

Saera grabbed his chin and tipped it towards her, “I’m serious. I will forever love you.”

 

Hoya leaned closer “how much?” he breathed, as his eyes became slightly closed.

 

Her eyes closed, and as she closed the gap between them she whispered, “until my breath has gone and I will have no more words.”

 

 

---

Crappy Ending?
It didn't really circulate around Christmas as much as I wanted it to, but oh well~ Yep it was Hoya all along. I'm sorry for deceiving you from the first chapter! To those who thought it was Myungsoo... Not this time honey! 

 

Hope you all have a Merry Christmas! Or Happy Holidays~!