She leaned on the metal bar, closing her eyes as the wind blew her hair away from her face. A small smile made its way to her face, as if the wind was the only thing that could comfort her at this time. She pulled her cardigan up to try and warm herself up, but that didn’t work. Why didn’t I bring a thicker coat with me? She looked around, and then stopped at the figure in front of her. Her heart quickened, is it…? It was Hoya. She turned back to the front, where she watched people making their way to lessons or home.

 

Hoya knew she’d be there, and he had no words to say to her. He only watched her shoulders shake from the cold and saw her hands rubbing her arms.

 

He looked up to the sky and whispered, “yah. What do I do? Do I approach her? Would it be okay?” in response a rain drop hit is face, but strangely the drips didn’t continue. Hoya stared hardly at the sky and could only shake his head in amazement. “Fine.” He muttered, walked up to her and stood beside her. His elbows leaned against the handle as he bent forward.

 

Saera panicked and pulled his arm back, “don’t lean too far forward.” She murmured. Hoya’s eyes softened as he leaned back and wrapped her in his arms. Her cheek leaned on his shoulder, and she welcomed the warmth his embrace was giving her. This was the comfort she needed. She hugged him back, and tightly held onto him. As if she was scared to let him go.

 

Hoya patted her hair, “how about we go back in? It’s much warmer…” She nodded, but she didn’t let go. Hoya chuckled, “yah. How can we move if you’re attached to me like a leech?” Saera smiled softly and looked at Hoya, “thanks Won.” She poked his cheek and Hoya only grinned at her use of his nickname. It was too long since she last called him that.

 

The two of them made their way back to the main building, and on the way the both of them picked up her bag. They leisurely walked to Saera’s home since he knew that she didn’t have any more energy to make it back into class. But on the way, they passed by a coffee shop that Saera hadn’t been to in a while. While Saera had gone still, Hoya was pondering about what to do, and decided that perhaps she needed a moment alone.

 

He let go of her bag and turned to Saera, “listen here. You’re going to go in there, and you’re going to talk to Sungyeol. You know he hates being ignored, and if he found out you met me and not him we would not hear the end of it. Go in Saera…” Hoya pushed her towards the door, but when Saera looked back Hoya was gone.

 

When she opened the door, the bell rang. Thankfully Sungyeol was busy and at the back that she didn’t have to confront him just yet. The cashier was one of her friends Hyemi, but they weren’t so close any more because of how Saera isolated herself from everyone. I mean, after all the heartbreak she had to go through because of the one person who she thought she'd forever be with, wouldn’t it be expected? Hyemi looked shocked that Saera was in front of her, but Saera only shook her head, signalling to Hyemi that she wasn’t to alert Sungyeol of her presence. After ordering her usual marshmallow mountain of mess, she sat on a table that wasn’t facing the counter. So in the chance that Sungyeol would appear, he wouldn’t face her. Luck was not on her side that evening because a waiter walked in front of her to clear the table, and when he looked up Saera’s stomach dropped. He stopped wiping the table in front of him, his eyes widening slightly. Before Saera could stand up and leave the cafe he rushed to stop her.

 

"Saera! Yah! Choi Saera!"

 

At the sound of her name being mentioned by the familiar voice, she couldn't help but feel warmth surround her like she was finally safe and all those gloomy feelings could finally go away.

 

"Oh, Sungyeol. Hello." She kept a blank face, despite the fact that she was trying so hard to keep her wails in. She was discovered, she had to confront him now… 

 

"Yah! Don't sound so depressed that it's me. I understand your feelings, but c'mon! You're not even gonna acknowledge me anymore? We used to be best friends and always hang out! Where's the Saera I knew?" he pouted cutely, which Saera had to admit she softened at, but she had to stay strong!

 

 "Keyword is 'knew' Oppa." Saera murmured, wrapping her scarf around her neck to prevent cold air from entering. She was actually doing so well avoiding them.

 

Sungyeol frowned. He hated how she was acting, but he couldn't blame her for it at all. He pulled her arm that wasn't the one holding the door and gently tugged her towards him, "yah. Saera. The boys miss you. I miss you. Come over when you can hmm? It may... Help."

Saera only nodded and quickly left before he could see her tears.

 

 Too bad he did.

 

The tears. She couldn't let her tears flow out like this. Not in public where they could criticize her and question her sanity. Where they could fake their pity and pretend to care. No, anywhere but in public.

 

Once she reached the safe haven of her apartment, she leaned on her door and slowly slid down. The tears building up quickly, and dripping off her face since she didn't bother to wipe them away. After feeling pathetic for crying like a drama queen, she tried blinking them away but they kept flowing. Making sure she locked her door, she ran to her toilet and checked her face. It was red. It was swollen. It was... Not a face she recognized anymore.

 

A sour smile crept onto her lips. You happy now? You happy you made me cry already? Are you satisfied that you finally hurt me this much? Congratulations! I must award thee with the best award ever. You freaking Jerk! How... How could you?! trembled as more tears cascaded down her cheeks. It was inevitable. Crying seemed a common thing for her to do now.

 

While sniffling, Saera walked around her apartment and paused outside the door which used to be his room. She stared at the doorknob, wondering if it was going to be a wise choice to carry on with what she was thinking of doing. Not seeing any harm it what she was about to do, she twisted the handle and entered his room. The first thing that hit her was his cologne. It was four months since she last entered his room and now she remembered why. So that the essence of him remained there, as if he was well and truly with her still. Cautiously, she took more steps into the room. Their couple items still scattered all over the place, especially since he was always tried and couldn't bother to clean. Saera didn't mind, as long as he was there all was fine. Her hands trailed his bed sheets. She took a deep breath and sat down on the bed. It was softer and more comfier than her own bed, maybe I should sleep here from now on? She thought wistfully. She crawled up and touched one of the pillows. Her head used to lay here. She touched the other pillow. That was his pillow. She hugged it to her face and smelled his minty shampoo. Tears escaped her eyes without her consent and stained the pillow case. She leaned back and resumed her lying down position. She looked around the room and marvelled at all the photographs that they had taken together in their five years of being together.

 

How fate played with those lovers…

 

At the sound of a loud bong, Saera sprang up. She looked around her unfamiliar surroundings. After realizing that she was in his room, she patted her hair, realizing that her sleeping it might have looked weird. The bong echoed throughout the apartment again. Dazed, Saera stood up and softly closed the door. His door…

 

The sounds continued to echo throughout her home. She slipped her slippers on – which were coincidentally next to his slippers and made her heart ache slightly. She left the room and slowly dragged her feet towards the door. She checked the mirror near the door. Her hair seemed... Acceptable - to say the least - and she couldn't even care about what her eyes must have looked like. Sighing in frustration for the intruder of her peaceful solace, she tip-toed and looked through the eyepiece.

 

All of a sudden she had a feeling of his familiar arms wrapping around her waist, she felt his breath warming the back of her neck. She even heard his stage whisper, "honey, whose there?"

 

But of course when she turned around... No one was there.

 

Tears pooled in her eyes and she couldn't help but to lean her forehead against the door. The doorbell rings stopped, but instead someone was banging against her door. She could feel the strength of the person on the other side and decided to stand straight before she got a pounding headache. Wiping the remaining tears, she took a proper peep, since the previous attempt was a fail thanks to her distraction.

 

Her eyes grew in curiosity as the person on the other side of the door became familiar to her. She saw his smile, she saw him looking around at the neighbouring homes and she lightly smiled knowing that he was probably wondering whether he had banged her door too loudly and was disturbing the other tenants. Sungyeol may have claimed to be her best friend. But this boy... This man in front on the other side was like a brother to her. With the smile growing, she opened the door.

 

"Woohyun Oppa? What brings you here?" She asked, hands hidden behind her back.

 

Woohyun looked down at her and frowned, he poked the middle of her eyebrows, "pabo-Sae! Why are your eyes swollen?"

 

Saera consciously touched her eyes and when she pulled her finger back stared at her hand in wonder as if realizing that the finger was an extension of the arm.

 

Realizing how crazy she must have looked, she looked up at Woohyun and weakly smiled. He only shook his head in what could be described as mild disappointment. He hadn't expected anything else with Saera. Looking around her apartment, he was slightly surprised that the whole home looked so peaceful and... In order. Usually when girls were heartbroken he noticed that they took no care of anything - much like when the guy gets heartbroken - but everything was intact. Even the photos that contained Saera and 'him'.

 

 Woohyun felt Saera's questioning gaze and held up the plastic bag he was carrying, "have you forgotten? It's Friday evening. To be specific the second Friday of the month. You know what that means." His signature smirk growing on his perfect face, making him look even more handsome.

 

Saera could only chuckle, how could she have forgotten? "Oppa, you get the living room ready, give me that. I'll prepare the food and if I take my time, I'll let you choose the film!" Grabbing the plastic bag out of his grasp, Saera rushed to the kitchen where she prepared the popcorn and all the sweets.

 

Woohyun stared at her back and his smirk disappeared. I know you’re hurting. Why haven’t you told me how you truly feel yet? You haven’t even properly cried to me yet. He walked into her living room and looked at the endless stacks of films that they could watch. He stared at the photo next to the television and picked it up. It was a picture of the eight of them during Saera’s sixteenth birthday. He stared at one face in particular, I had no idea what you were going through. None of us did, especially Saera. Have you got any idea how hurt all of us were? Including your girlfriend nonetheless? I haven’t heard her cry one single time, and I know she’s hiding it from us. I’m grateful she still allows these movie nights, but they were the only times I was able to see her these months. Woohyun wiped his eyes, noticing that they had become watery. I hate you for what you did. But most importantly, why did you have to do it alone? We could have… We could have prevented it.