Story Name: Kiss the Prince

MARKS:

Plot:

-          I really like this plot. I have never seen a story like this one on AsianFanFics before
and it is a good change from the normal average stories.

25.5/30 points

English:

Your sentences seem to drag on too much. They seem too long. An effective way of writing is to use sentences which vary in lengths i.e. one sentence short and the next, a long sentence and then a medium.

Examples:

- He was telling about Akaba again and again, that place wasn’t familiar to both Mao and Ryosuke. – It seems to me that where the comma is should be a full stop.
He was talking about Akaba non-stop. This place wasn’t familiar to both Mao and Ryosuke.

- …But why only her mom. – The B should be lowercase and instead of a full stop, there should be a question mark.

"I heard he live in north village” the man answered. – Since it is a singular person doing an action, the verb needs an S. You also need a comma after village as the sentence is not complete. It should be, “I heard he lives in the North Village,” the man answered.

22/30 points

Creativity:

-          Never seen a story like this before.

8/10 points

Description and Title:

-          I am guessing that Mao will have to kiss a prince soon that is why the title is named what it is. The description is short but it keeps you wanting more.

7/10 points

Writing style:

-         Not much I can really point out with the actual writing style of the story besides the usual, it is good and so on forth.
I do have a query though, why do you list the characters that will be in the chapters in advance?

7/10 points

Enjoyment:

-     I really do like this story and I hope that you will update soon
because it is truly a great story.  

8/10 points

TOTAL SCORE: 77.5

STAR RATING: 4

This story is truly one of the better stories out on AsianFanfics
and I hope you will do very well with it! Good luck!