“You’re not mad and you’re not running. Is that a good thing?” He says, not exactly to me, but it isn’t a completely rhetorical question. I smile at his nervousness. I find it adorable. I’ve never thought about Sehun like that until now, but all of my jealously makes sense now. The flamboyant Oh Sehun gets nervous too. Ha.

                “What? What are you smiling at?”

                At this point I’m almost laughing. He grabs my shoulders and starts shaking me because of me not answering his question and because of his frustration. I actually start to laugh. I fall down to the ground laughing and I curl myself into a ball. Defeated, Sehun sits down next to me and silently sits through my laughing fit. Once I sit up, clearly finished, he asks me once more.

                “It’s just how you got so nervous. It was adorable.” I manage to get out without laughing.

                Sehun just pouts at me. I smile at I and lay down on the gravel on the roof to watch the clouds roll by. That simple kiss has made me feel whole once more. I feel renewed and happy. I also finally feel at peace with myself now knowing that Sehun has no intentions of leaving any time soon.

                “Come over here.” I tell him. He moves towards me and lies down next to me.  I grab his hand and we watch the clouds roll by. Neither of us say a single word, we just lay thee without a care in the world.

                Maybe the not caring about anything is how the next few months fly by. The only person I ever talk to is Sehun. People have quit caring about the accident and they have started to leave me alone about it. Which allows me to come to terms with everything much quicker and I can finally move on with my life.

At school we keep our relation on the low end of things, nieter of us wanting Yixing coming after us for ‘being gay’.

Over break, Sehun spends almost all of his time at my house, whether I’m there or not. During break, he loses a noticeable amount of weight and when he takes his shirt of, I can see the tiny little bones peeking through his skin. I jokingly tell him he needs to eat more, but deep down my concern is rising to the point of an obsession. I’m constantly making sure that he’s eating something, but his weight continues to plummet.

“Sehun?” I ask, after noticing more of his ribs poking through from underneath my head as it rests on his chest.

“Yes?” I play with my fingers and run them up and down his exposed chest and stomach.

“Why are you losing so much weight?” Barely audible, it escapes my lips. I’m honestly scared to hear the answer.

“What do you mean?”

“I can see your ribs now.” I mumble. I run a single finger over the bottom of his rib cage, slightly tickling him. “Your clothes also don’t fit anymore.” I say moving my hand to the edge of his boxers which lie on his skin, just barely hanging on.

“What’s your point, Lu?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“There’s no need to be. I’m fine.”

                “Luuuuuuu-“ I hear his angelic voice calling me out of my slumber. I open my eyes and see Sehun standing over me with a tray in his hands. I push myself up so that I’m sitting upright. I take a look at the tray in his hands which is covered in breakfast foods.

                “Did you?” I get out before Sehun is already nodding. I smile at him as he sets the tray on my lap.            

                “Come sit with me.” I say and slide over to the right to make enough room for him to sit next to me. He slides next to me without saying another word. He makes sure that I eat every bite.

                “So why the surprise breakfast?” I ponder out loud as I swallow the last bite.

                “I wanna take you somewhere today.”

                “Like a date?”

                “Like a date,” He smiles, “Get dressed.” Sehun takes away the tray and disappears out of the room.  I hop out of bed and dig around for a decent pair of jeans. Once I find them, I slide them on as Sehun walks back in. He walks over to his bag and grabs some new clothes as well.

                “Let’s go.” He turns around and smiles at me.

                “Where are we going?”

                “A place,” he says, but sees my concern, “You’ll see soon, I promise. It’s not far at all.”

                I sigh and he drags me out of the house and into his car. He’s a safe driver, more so than myself. I haven’t gotten behind the wheel since the accident. Just the thought of getting behind the wheel makes me have a panic attack, so nobody asks me to drive anymore.

                He pulls out of the driveway and heads towards our unknown destination. The skies are gloomy today, the sun hasn’t peeked out yet and the clouds are a light grey. Within a few turns, it’s clear that Sehun is headed for the lake that’s close to my house. My family used to take me there frequently during the warm summer days when I was a child. The route there is extremely unique so it’s obvious, especially to me.  When he turns onto the familiar dirt road, a smile forms on my face.

                He comes the end of the road and parks the car. He wobbly gets out ad I can tell that he’s not feeling his best, but like the gentleman he is, he opens my door for me. I get out of his car and look around at the familiar beach.

                The sun starts to peek through and the light bounces of the dark water, making is appear less gloomy than it truly is. Sehun dives back into the car and grabs a few blankets from the backseat and meets me about ten feet away and links his arm through mine, dragging me away from the car. He wanders back and forth along the beach for about five minutes before picking a spot for us to sit. When he finds the spot he’s looking for, he lays down one of the blankets on the cold sand and sit myself down on it. I silently sit myself next to him. Once I’m comfortable next to him, he wraps the other, plaid blanket around our shoulders and he instantly wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder.

                “Y’know, I almost died at this beach once.” He says completely out of the blue.

                “You’ve been here before?” I ask softly.              

                “Yeah. My family visited here once when I was younger.”

                “Really?”

                “Yep, but I almost drowned, I couldn’t swim and my parents quit watching me for just five minutes and little, adventurous me decided to go exploring into the water without thinking. It was so crowded that day, you couldn’t even imagine.” He pauses and looks around at the now vacant beach.

                “So I got in the water and instantly realized that I didn’t know how to swim. I started yelling for help, but I didn’t know that nobody spoke Korean around me, so I was stuck there, my head continuously going below the water. I could feel the water flying into my mouth and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.” For some reason, Sehun’s story sounds familiar to me. Maybe it was one of those stories they told us to behave on the beach. I think to myself.

                “Suddenly, a boy, a few years older than me had his arms around me and pulled me out of the water, back to shore, safely.” As soon as he says those last few words, the light bulb turns on and I know exactly what he’s talking about.

                “It was you.”

                “It was me.” We say at exactly the same time.

                “That was you?!” I question. “I remember saving someone from this lake, but I don’t remember anything else about it.”

                “I remember it like it was just yesterday.” He sighs.

                “How did you find me? Were you looking for me?”
                “That was a complete accident. I asked you what your name was and you said ‘Lu Han’. But you ran away after that because your dad or somebody was yelling at you or something. I don’t exactly remember.” He pauses for a moment, tears are welling up in his eyes.

                “And just like that you were gone from my life just as quickly as you entered. My mom found me and yelled at me for vanishing from her side, but she never knew about me almost drowning. But about eight months ago, my family and I had some major issues and they sent me to China without a single clue. I didn’t know a single word or how to even ask for help.”

                “Anyways, that isn’t the point. It was sheer dumb luck, accident, fate, or whatever you want to call it, but I had just registered for my classes when I saw you crying in the hallway, I didn’t know it was you, but when you looked up, even with those tears in your eyes, I instantly recognized you. You haven’t changed a bit. So I made it my goal to befriend you and maybe help you the way you helped me. You were extremely difficult at first, but I wasn’t going to give up. As soon as Yixing started trying to murder you that day, I knew I could possibly begin to repay you for everything. And you know the rest from there.”

                I sit there, completely stuck and speechless. I don’t know what to say or if I did, how would I say it. So the first thing that comes to my mind is what spills out.

                “So once you found me and realized it was me, was making me fall in love with you part of your master plan? Because if so, it worked.” I say with my lips beginning to quiver. A tear falls from Sehun’s left eye. I watch it trail down his cheek and I catch it with my thumb before it can fall. I caress his cheek and catch the following tears.

                “Baby, don’t cry.” I whisper in his ear.   

                “I just-“

                “Shh, baby, it’ll be alright.” He looks up at me and smiles, but I can see the forced smile, as I know it all too well. His gentle brown eyes are full of pain and tears. I want to be able to take it all away from him so he never has to feel an ounce of sadness ever again.  We sit on the beach for an hour or so, with me just holding Sehun in my arms. I don’t say anything to him. The sun comes and goes a few more times before finally disappearing behind the grey skies. It’s almost relaxing on the beach, but the way Sehun desperately clings to me makes me nervous.

                “Baby, we should go it looks like it’s going to rain.” I tell him softly, trying to not disturb him too much.   He just nods and we pick up the blankets and head back for his car. It ends up that I’m right because as soon as we reach his car, it begins to sprinkle on us. As he tosses the blankets into the backseat, I grab his wrists and I pull him in for a kiss.

                “I’ve always wanted to kiss somebody in the rain.” I smile. He just smiles back, but doesn’t say anything. We quickly pile into the front seat as the rain suddenly begins to pick up. We pull away from the beach and head for home. The rain is coming down so fast that it’s almost impossible to see anything.

                “I’m going to pull over, I can’t see anything.” Sehun says, I can tell that it scares him to not have complete control over a situation. Just as he switches lanes to pull over is when it happens to me for the second time.

                At first I don’t feel anything. I hear the tires squealing and I can smell the burning rubber against the wet concrete and I’m able to give myself enough time to brace Sehun for what is coming. I look at him and see his eyes are wide with fear.

                I wake up abruptly. I try to sit up, but quickly realize that I’m restricted. I hear a loud beeping noise that makes me jump about five feet sideways. I open my eyes fully and glance at my surroundings which are all too familiar. This room and I have a dark history. The last time I was in this room I got the worst news of my life. I have an inkling that this time isn’t going to be any better. Nurses in green scrubs come flying into my room, frantic. My eyes are wide with fear. Once they quit scurrying around me, they try doing tests on me. Which causes me to get extremely angry.

                “Where is Sehun?” I demand. I refuse to cooperate with anybody until I see my boyfriend. All of the nurses start whispering to themselves. There are about eight of them in my room right now and I’m not at all comfortable with this. They’re whispering so quickly and quietly that I can’t make out what they’re saying. The shortest one of them, closest to the door dashes out of the room, but she comes back a few moments later, accompanied by a wheelchair.

                The nurses are very cautious about getting me out of my bed. They’re careful to make sure that none of my IV’s or my oxygen tube gets tangled. As soon as I’m reseated in the chair I look at my arms. My left hand and wrist is in a cast and both of my arms are covered in cuts from the broken glass. Some of them are significantly deeper, but others are already fading.

                They wheel me down several hallways that are amazingly unfamiliar to me. I tilt my head up to try and read the signs around me, but I’m so drugged up that I can barely make anything out, but I think that I’m reading something about the intensive care unit. I start shaking with fear.

                Is he okay? I think to myself. My heart falls to my stomach as soon as we get into this room. All I can see of this room are people running around, frantic, and everywhere.                

                “Sehun is in a coma, Lu Han.” My favorite nurse breaks the news to me. “They aren’t sure if he’s going to make it. They found this in his pocket when you guys arrived here.” She hands me a folded up piece of paper with my name scrawled on it.

                I carefully unfold the paper and reveal its contents:

Lu,

If you’re reading this, I am so sorry. I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. I never had any intentions of falling for you like this, but I have. I know you feel the same way about me and I now as long as my heart is still beating that you will never give up on me.

There’s something I need to tell you, Lu Han. I’m sick and the doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’m dying. That’s why I came here, to China, searching for a doctor that could help me, but my search has come up empty. So I figured that I shouldn’t just give up on everything that I’ve ever worked hard at, so I just stayed here and enrolled in school and that’s where I found you again. You have made everything worth it and I want you to forget what everybody says about you. They don’t know you like I do. They don’t know that you’re perfect and beautiful and smart. But I do and that should be what matters in the end. I know that I want to spend forever with you, but it doesn’t work out like we plan it or how we want it to be. If it were how I wanted things to be, I would ask you to marry me right now and we could spend forever together and have that happily ever after that everyone desires.

I know that you’re probably crying right now or that you’re fighting back your tears, but please don’t cry because I don’t want you to. I want you to remember every single happy thing about me. Think about every moment we ever had together. Just remember this too, I will always love you. My heart beating or not.

I love you.

Forever yours,

Oh Sehun

                “God damn you, Sehun. You aren’t dying on me yet.” I mutter under my breath. My tears are falling down my face and I don’t care who sees it.

                “Can I have a moment alone with him?” I ask.  They kindly agree and move out of my way. My nurse wheels me up next to his bed and exits quietly behind the other doctors and nurses that just moments ago filled the entire room. I grab his hand with my good one. I notice that his right hand is also in a cast, probably from me linking our hands at the last moment. His neck is in a brace and he’s lying on his back, completely motionless. He has oxygen running through his lungs, keeping him alive, but barely.              

                Tears fill my eyes once more. The man I believe to be unbreakable is currently lying in front of me, broken.

                “You’re right, I’m not going to give up on you as long as your heart is still beating.” I pause, trying to not choke on my own words. “I have a song I want to sing for you, even if you can’t hear me.”

“if you smile just once, I’m satisfied

I’ll do everything instead, everything you wish for

Even if our remaining tie diminishes.

If you can’t have it, I’ll just live for you,

No matter how much, if it’s you, I’m ready to get hurt,

Whoever this becomes, watch carefully

Don’t make him cry,

I don’t have anything else to give up,

That person doesn’t know me, the pain in my heart,

Tick tock, Tick tock, everything will disappear,

Even if I’m destroyed, as long as it’s in your hands,

I’m here, I’ll cry all of the tears in the world,

If I can’t give it to you, step over me,

Nobody can treat your recklessly,

Whatever the reason, you need me,

Me, that becomes a doll to fight for you,

Should I go? Should I stay?

Nobody knows, wooo~

Should I go? Should I stay?

Nobody knows, wooo~

Jjaekkak, jjaekkak,

Da irojirira.

                “Saranghae.” I brokenly whisper the Korean word for ‘I love you’ to him. I feel his hand twitch inside of mine and my head flies upwards to see him look at me once more. My tears go flying in the same direction, but Sehun still lies motionless on the bed.

                Suddenly his heart rate monitor beats faster and faster and the doctors come flying back into the room. They shove me out of the way to figure out what is going on when suddenly the heart rate monitor goes completely flat.

                “SEHUN!” I scream as I get wheeled away from his room. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A/N: This is it!!! I may or may not write an alternate ending, but that'll be way into the future. So just incase you guys are wondering, the song that Luhan sings to Sehun is called "Voodoo Doll" by VIXX. I took the lyrics and re-wrote them to fit this better, but here's a link to the lyrics and the music video. You should really check it out! http://kkromanized.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/rom-eng-lyrics-vixx-voodoo-doll-%EC%A0%80%EC%A3%BC%EC%9D%B8%ED%98%95/