“I’m so sorry Yin. I never meant for this to happen.” I choke back my tears and fall to my knees. The chilly wind is blowing right in my face, causing my nose to turn red almost instantly. I’m now kneeling on Li Yin’s grave, paying my absolute final respects to her. I need to move finally move on with my life.  I can’t live my life everyday living in those haunted memories. Life goes on whether I want to admit it or not. I’m proving this to myself. I can’t live everyday knowing how much guilt and regret I hold inside of me. I’m a ticking time bomb, threatening to explode at any given second.

                “I loved you Li Yin. I still do. I hope you knew that before you left.” I place the single white rose that I had been fiddling with down on her headstone and force myself to stand up. I walk away knowing that I’m not one-hundred percent ready to move on with my life, but I know now that I can. I force myself to not look back, knowing if I do, I will regret it.

                I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest. I finally feel some sort of peace, something I’ve desired for so long.

                I drag my feet the rest of the way home. I look at the world surrounding me. The people who go on with their lives, never knowing the pain the person walking next to them feels. They sit there, catting on their cell phones, making dinner plans, scheduling meetings, and then there’s me. Lu Han, the boy who killed his girlfriend in a car accident. I feel as though nobody will ever notice me, or give a second glance in my direction. No strangers (in their right mind) will come up and comfort you out of the blue.

                Unless your name is Oh Sehun. I think to myself.

                The simple thought of the strange boy in the hallway sends a million more thoughts into my mind, causing me to become scatter brained. I’m curious about him. He is strange. You don’t just walk up to a stranger that’s crying and attempt to comfort them. That’s just weird.

                I make my way home with confused thoughts about that kid, Sehun. When I get inside, I close the door behind me, I drag my feet out of my boots and leave them next to the door. I shrug my jacket off of my shoulders and hang it in the closet. I shut the closet door and walk up the stairs and head down the hallway towards my room. I open the door of my bedroom and find it completely spotless. I just assume that my mom cleaned my room sometime during the day. I crawl into my bed and cover up with my freshly cleaned comforter. I was simply exhausted. I drift off into a dream filled slumber.

                                                ­­­__________________________________________________

                Six a.m. rolls around a lot sooner than I would like. My alarm starts blaring and I look at the clock with blurry eyes and rush myself out of bed. I shut the alarm off and stagger around my room, looking for clean parts of my uniform. I give up after five minutes of frantically searching. I open my bedroom door to the overwhelming aroma f breakfast being made in the kitchen. My stomach grumbles instantaneously with hunger. I realize that I haven’t ate anything in two days. I decide to shower quickly and then grab some food.

                After my shower, I literally run down the hallway and grab a plate, filling it with a heaping amount of food. I shovel the food into my face faster than my mom can cook it. I fill myself so full that I can’t eat another bite.

                I look at the clock and dash out of the house, missing my tie. I’m running late and I would rather not have Mr. Kim on my tail again. I run straight to class, ignoring Minseok’s waves, trying to capture my attention. I run toe the back of the class, trying to make it to my seat before the bell, only to find Oh Sehun sitting in my seat.

                “Sehun?” I question the boy in my seat.

                “Ah, so you do remember my name. I was worried about that.” He says with a smirk.

                “Well, it’s not every day where random strangers come up and talk to you while you’re crying like a child in public,” I pause, “Move over. “ I say, motioning for him to scoot over to the next seat. He does so without saying another word.

                The bell rings just as I sit down in my chair. As usual, Mr. Kim slowly peaks over his book and takes note of the class’s attendance. He looks at me and notices Sehun sitting beside me. He stands up immediately as though he’s forgotten something. 

                “C-Class, I would like to introduce our newest student, Oh Sehun. He’s transferred here from Korea. So please make him feel welcome.”

                After that, Mr. Kim returns to his usual ramblings. I glance over at Sehun, who is intensely focused on the front of the classroom, like he’s actually paying attention. I shake my head and rest it on the desk. I’m ready for this class to be over already. I feel a finger jab into my side and I jump, sitting up straight. I look over at my neighbor who is grinning, but somehow still paying attention.

                “Sehun,” I sigh. I didn’t think he had heard me, but he did because he is looking at me now, his eyes in the shape of a crescent moon, and his hands are covering his mouth due to the fact that he was laughing so hard.

                “What on earth is so funny?” I ask in all seriousness.

                “Y-you!” he stammers, stifling his laughter only for a moment.

                Mr. Kim pauses and shoots a glare in our direction. I punch Sehun in the leg, he stops laughing, but the cheesy grin on his face still remains.

                “I don’t even know you, but you are definitely the most frustrating person I know.” I whisper in his direction. I face forward, but I can feel his laughter shake the lab table, which brings a genuine smile to my lips.

                ______________________________________________________________________

                After biology class, my mind wanders to when I’m going to see Sehun again. I need to talk to him. I’m just overwhelmed by him. Nobody wants anything to do with me. Nobody tries to become a friend to me, or tease me. It’s a foreign concept to me now, after the accident.

                I decide that I need to tell Sehun about the accident. It’s only fair to him. He needs to get away, avoid me like the plague. Before he becomes an outcast like me.  A new, Korean student like him doesn’t need to start out with a bad reputation.

                During lunch, I scan the cafeteria for his face. No luck.  I hear people whispering when I walk by. I swear I feel like a leper. I’ve begun to learn how to tune out their harsh whispers, after only one day. I continue walking like they aren’t there. I get to the counter and grab a bottle of orange juice, I turn around and mindlessly head back to my lonely table. I see somehow is now sitting at my table, so I instinctively shy away. As I’m backing away, he turns around.

                “Come here.” Sehun demands, his eyes locking into mine. I reluctantly move forward, taking my original spot across the table from him. He shifts to face me, but now avoids eye contact with me.

                “Why didn’t you tell me Lu Han?” He says in a monotone voice.

                “Tell you what?” Already knowing what he was referring to.

                “About the accident.”

                “I-I was going to. Just now, I was looking for you. You need to know. You’re the first person to talk to me like I’m a human being besides Minseok. I-I’m just, I-I was just overwhelmed is all.”

                “I could have saved myself all of this trouble, Lu.”

                “I know.” I say, defeated.

                He gets up and shoves his chair away from the table, walking away angrily. I feel tears forming in my eyes.

                What else did you expect, stupid? I think to myself.

                I get up, now angry about everything. Tears are steaming down my face and I don’t care who sees it. I can cry if I want to. I go to dash into the men’s restroom when a large hand catches my shoulder and pulls e back, causing me to trip.

                Right now I’m facing a boy, significantly taller than me, his face is red hot with anger. He moves his hand that isn’t holding onto me and I instinctively flinch away. He just shakes with laugher. I don’t know what he’s doing or what he wants from me. I’m the bullied kid now anyways, so what does it matter?

                “This is for Li Yin.” He says just mere seconds before striking me in the face. After a few swings, my eyes are already swelling shut and I can taste the blood in the back of my mouth. I also feel it running from my nose, dripping onto my uniform. The smell of it normally makes me gag, but right now I can care less. My main line of thought was to get away without another hospital trip. I can hear the student body forming around us, I know cameras are rolling and that nobody is going to stop this. They’ve all been dying for this moment.  The beat down continues for a few more minutes before I hear my attacker grunt, and his weight is lifted off of me, I still expect the next hit, but it doesn’t come. I can’t see what’s going on around me, so I don’t know if it’s stopped or if he’s just preparing himself. My eyes are completely swollen shut. They won’t open no matter how hard I try to force them. I simply give up. I probably don’t want to see my surroundings anyway. I feel someone grab me underneath my arms, which startles me, causing me to black out.

                When I wake up, I realize only a few minutes had passed. I can feel a wet cloth on my face, I assume to clean up the blood that has probably completely covered my face, making me unrecognizable. I feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around me, cuddling me. I feel safe, as though nobody can hurt me again. I don’t even try to open my eyes at this point, it’s useless. I feel extremely fatigued again and begin to doze off when the nurse begins to talk.

                “I personally want to say thank you for what you did out there. What did you say your name was again?”

                “It’s Oh Sehun.” I hear the voice come from behind me, and the chest my head is resting on moved when he spoke. I realize that he is the one holding me. I find it strange that he would hold me, given the fact that we had just gotten into an argument, but I ignore that fact and continue to listen to their conversation.

                “That was very brave of you. I don’t think anybody would have jumped to that mess under a normal circumstance, let alone it being Lu Han in there. Make sure you put some ice on your eye and lip, you don’t want that pretty face of yours swelling.”

                I know, but nobody deserves that, especially Lu Han.” He replies playing with my hair.

                I hear the nurse’s footsteps fade away and Sehun begins coughing violently. He spits something out on the floor next to us.               

                “Really? More blood? I thought I would have more time.” He sighs and relaxes his body.               I don’t have time to ponder what that means before I fall asleep in his arms.