“Alright! Let me just summarized our meeting girls.” YG Sajangnim looks around and started mentioning what they have agreed upon a while ago.

2014 Target project for 2ne1

1.       Bom’s solo song

2.       Minzy’s solo song

3.       CL’s sequel to TBF

4.       2ne1 World Tour

5.       2ne1 comeback

I sat there and pretended to look excited while listening to their so called 2ne1 activities. Maybe you’re wondering how I am able to act this way when apparently YG has no definite plans for my solo career. It’s easy. I am a good actress. And even if I’m not, I guess my heart has turned numbed with all those years of being taken for granted. Instead of being bitter, I have learned to be grateful.  After all, I am part of their so called YG family. I am given the privilege to work with the industry’s best, with the prodigies and geniuses.

“That’s it girls. Bom, Minzy, CL, please report to Teddy’s studio and discuss the concept that you want with your solo activities.” The girls smiled at me and hurriedly left the conference room. I stand up from my seat and bowed to YG.

“I’ll go ahead Sajangnim, Teddy Oppa, Jinu and Sean Oppas” I bowed one last time and turned to leave but stop abruptly when Sajangnim called me.

A small hope sprung in my heart.

Did he finally realize that I don’t have solo activity for 2014 and that I will be unproductive for almost half of the year? Will he finally let me accept one of the many acting offers that I receive from various Companies aside from those offers in other countries? I called on all my lucky stars and crossed my fingers hoping that one of my dreams will finally be granted.

“Yes Sajangnim, did you forget something?” My heart is thumping so hard while waiting for his answer.

“Dara, please don’t forget to promote your members Solo in you SNS. And oh, please also include Jennie Kim in you updates. She’s been getting negative response from the public.”

 I blinked my eyes several times to make sure if this is really happening. I roam my eyes around the corner and saw how Jinu and Sean Oppa bowed their heads coz they can't see me in the eye. Teddy oppa just have this bored poker face. I looked at YG Sajangnim and I couldn’t recognize the man I met few years ago. The man who convinced me to sign under his Company. I no longer see the man who told me that I will not regret joining his Company. I no longer see the man who once told me that we are one family and that he is my Appa; my Appa who will guide and protect me.

“Neh, Sajangnim. Is there anything else that you want me to do?”

I thought I’m already numbed but I guess not. I thought I’ve experience the worst before but each time, the pain is just getting better. Before, it will just leave my heart with little bruises. The little bruises turned into tiny cuts. Tiny cuts turned into deeper cuts. And now, I can’t really tell. My heart is still there, barely breathing and holding on.

“And Dara, someone spotted Kiko and Jiyong together. You know, Jiyong is really doing well right now and we don’t want another scandal to hurt a part of our family right?  You know the drill already.”  My heart and soul is screaming. I closed my hands tightly that my knuckles are turning white now.

“TIC TAC TIC TAC” I feel like I am timed bomb waiting to explode. Any moment now, my temper will snap out and I will scream murder. I took a deep breath and willed myself to calm down.

“Neh Sajangnim.” I bowed once again and give them one last look before going out of that conference room. I close the door gently.

 I walk aimlessly until my feet brought me to the rooftop. I leaned on the wall and all my strength finally left me. My back slowly slides down from the wall and next thing I know, I am now sitting on the floor. I promised myself that I will no longer shed a single tear but look at all these tears falling from my eyes now. My little whimpers turned into sobs. I’m having hard time breathing and I am shaking violently. I want to shout out loud. I want to scream all the angst that I am feeling inside. And so, I shouted. I screamed until my throat hurts. I screamed until I run out of voice.

I have reached my final limit. I’ve given them enough time already. I guess I’ve finally reached my crossroads. I looked up in the sky and asked for a sign. After few minutes, the sound of my phone’s ringtone broke the deafening silence.

I looked at my phone and an unregistered number is calling me. I was never the type who answers my phone when an unregistered number is calling me because of those obsessive jealous fangirls who are after me. But so