===

"Dongjun?"

"Oh, Minha...you came?"

"Yeah, aren't we supposed to go out? You're late so I decided to check if there's anything I can help around."

"Ahh, sorry. I really...there's...emergency and..."

"Nah, it's alright. Don't be sorry. So, what happened and..."

"Let's go now."

She sensed the unhappiness, but decided to not pressure for an answer and simply nodded. She knew Dongjun would eventually have to speak to her anyway. He couldn't keep all the burden to himself forever. It's not like he could share it with anyone else in his vicinity. Anyone but her. And maybe his other staffs.

"You know the guy whom I said tried to kill himself a few times already?"

"Hmm, yeah. You said he got better after you allowed him to do his own shows in the compound area, right?"

"He tried to murder himself again, yesterday."

"Really?"

"But thank goodness, he gained consciousness this morning."

"That's...a relief, right?"

Dongjun nodded. But it wasn't hard to see that the action wasn't carried out enthusiastically.

"Is there any other problem then?"

"Well, his room mate, the guy who's always crying...he knocked on my door this early morning, asking for permission to have his own show."

"Oh...what's the problem then?"

"I don't know. I feel like placing them both as roomates seemed to have an opposite effect than I had hoped. I thought since they both had entertainment background, even though in reality they don't even know each other, I thought they'd be able to improve each other's conditions because of their matching situations. Who knew..." He sighed again.

"Dongjun-ah, don't blame everything on yourself. You tried your best to help them."

"And then there's the other guy who developed his depression after chased away from his job and the artiste he managed because of new artiste in his company, still seemed to be confused and hold grudge on the suicide guy, thinking he is the crying guy's manager when they had nothing to do with each other. I don't know how it happened...but the three of them...they seemed to have taken each other as people from their past, back when they were...healthy. I shouldn't have placed them together in the first place. Things were getting out of hand when the three people were simply strangers who didn't even have any debts towards each other. What have I done...they won't recover this way. They won't."

"Dongjun-ah, some things are meant to be. Even if you hadn't done what you did, if they're meant to be, they'd find ways to happen anyway. It's not your fault they developed depressions that caused them mental sickness and that their situations seem to connect without even being related to each other in reality."

"I really want to help them recover. Not just them, but the rest of patients here. I don't want my late father to be disappointed in me."

"He won't. Don't worry. You're taking over the hospital well. He will be proud of you. Just don't give up on your patients. Just like I won't give up on you."

"Thanks Minha. I really appreciate it."

"Well, let's go now. I'm hungry."

"Okay."

Dongjun casted a final glance at the small stage area as they walked past, where a group of people were clapping and happy faces could be seen. Despite his curiosity, he had to put his trust in his staff that was also there, and spend some of his time for his personal life.

---

"Wow. Everyone cheered for me. Did you see, Kwanghee?"

"Yeah, I saw that. You did good job."

"Really? Where's Kevin?"

"He's....sleeping in his treatment room."

"Why? Is he mad because he's the one who's supposed to perform? Did he refused to come watch because I did so bad than he would've had perform much better?"

"Nonsense. He's just...jealous. Just ignore him. You're better than anyone I know."

"You're lying."

"Of course not! Ask your audience."

"Siwan-ah, Kwanghee wasn't lying, you did good."

"Really, Miss Park?"

"Yeah. Now, let's get back to your room so you can take your medicines."

Siwan frowned but said nothing. He had promised to listen to the nurse's orders in exchange of having his own show. There's no way he could avoid unless he want to search for trouble with Dongjun, the last thing anyone there would want.

They had taken a few steps when he remembered something and turned back.

"Kwanghee."

"What?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Thank you for always supporting me even when I had my downfall."

Miss Park glanced curiously at Kwanghee who looked just as puzzled, but immediately turned cheerful. She was almost definite that both Siwan and Kwanghee only met each other as patients, but Siwan's final words before continuing his trip back to his room after his own first mini show that made his tears stopped trickling down, replaced with bright, hopeful facade, made him sound almost sane. If anyone didn't know better.

He had stood by the peaceful sleeping figure's bed for a good ten minutes when he decided to just return to his room.

"Are you...really going without saying anything?"

"...am I supposed to say anything?"

"No."

"Good. I'm going......anyway...thank you."

"Why?"

"For...still being alive."

"But...why? Didn't you want me to die anyway?"

"I...I did. But...for now Siwan has stopped crying. Because you're sick, he found his way to the stage again. But if you choose to die, maybe he would've cried again. He should've hated you, but he never did."

"So, it's all my fault?"

"Maybe. But still, don't try to die again...it's too scary."

"What's the meaning of living if you're hated? I can't go on living like that."

"Nobody hated you, Kevin."

"Huh...not even you?"

He scoffed, but formed his response carefully.

"Would it make any difference?"

"Yes."

"I don't. And I don't want to see you dead."

"Really?"

He nodded slowly, unsure if he was lying, but it made him felt good.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"It's hard to live. But I'm going to try."

"That's good to hear."

"Where are you going?"

"Visit Siwan. You should go too when you're better. He would be happy to see you."

"Is he still crying?"

"Well, when did he ever stop? He did stop for a while though after having his own performance."

"He performed?"

"It was crappy anyway. But he doesn't need to know it. Right?"

"Wait for me. I'm going too."

"But you still need to rest here."

"I'm all better now. I want to perform as soon as possible too. Maybe I can perform with Siwan next time."

"Oh nobody would miss your funny annoying dance."

"Well, thank you. That's quite a compliment, coming from you."

"Huh. Be quick then."

'It's alright. It's going to be alright. Like Dongjun said, sometimes in life, things go wrong, people go crazy...but doesn't mean life ends. We still need to continue living even if we couldn't be allowed to be released to the outside world. A place I keep waiting to be permitted access again, a place I believe belongs to me, even if I couldn't remember the way back home. What matters for now is Kevin is still alive, Siwan has stopped crying, for now. Good things happened. Dongjun said, when good things happen...no matter how small, it is a sign that there is still hope in this world. For some unknown reason, after taking those pillls that made everything felt blurry and my head felt lighter, his words made so much more sense. Maybe he had drugged or poisoned me to be dumb, but now...I don't feel hurt. I'm happy because good things are happening. Maybe good things will continue to happen. Maybe tomorrow, I can go home, wherever that is.'

===

end

===

ranting:

yes guys, that's it. this is just a random thing i want to write based on the song. didn't made too much sense did it? well, how's it gonna make sense...? it's just story about three (recovering?)mental patients at a mental hospital run by dongjun(who, if you noticed, had to take over after his father's death)...and kevin/kwanghee/siwan had similar background that sounded like they're related from the past, but they're really not related, just coincidence that their pasts sounds connected/related since they're all from showbiz. kevin n siwan were performers. siwan as you can see...had depression that made him crazy bcuz he was ditched n replaced in his former group by newer member favoured more than him. kevin was a new member/replacement in his own group(though he's not really in same group as siwan)...he was outcasted n got so depressed that he tried to suicide over n over until he's brought there. and kwanghee was formerly an artiste manager that was kicked away together with his artiste when a change was brought to the group he's managing. therefore, he felt connection to siwan whom he thought is his artiste, and hated kevin who he saw as the new guy that caused him n siwan to lost their jobs. of course, he had nothing to do with siwan n kevin in reality. just a bunch of crazy dudes is all the story is about. sorry if i misled you to think there's a deeper story going on. maybe there is...but we'll never know anyway, since they're all crazy ok not exactly crazy but depression that led to mental sickness and whatever presented from their povs don't necessarily reflect reality. which means other ZE:A members that appeared in this story were mental patients as well. the only sane one is dongjun n his staff n minha who's just a cameo.

Thanks for reading. i'm surprised the number of subs n stalkers keep growing even for this weird little random story. please leave any comments/thoughts about the story if you haven't. being silent readers is not a good reader-attitude if you haven't realize that. :/ (imagine if your writers choose to be silent writers like you silent readers...haa. that'd be really fun)

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