Compliment
More Than Words
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"Here I Am, Here I Am...Here I Am Here I Am!"
"Wow...Siwan, you're doing awesome!"
"Sarcastic much?" He glared at me. What is wrong with him? I've done what I was supposed to do, according to him? And yet, still...
"I did? Did I, Kwanghee?"
"Yeah, you did good. Keep practicing."
"Look who's sarcastic now?"
"What?" He flipped his hair.
"Come on, Kwanghee. You scolded me for complimenting Siwan, and now, you're doing the same thing. Okay, so what am I supposed to say?"
"Your so-called compliments are insincere. You didn't even try to make them sound sincere."
"Look at Siwan. He's happy, isn't he?"
He stared at Siwan, who's dancing around like a mentally unstable idiot, occassionally stumbling and losing balance, but managed to avoid from falling to the ground each time.
"He is...he hasn't been happy for so long."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
He nodded slowly to himself, being uncharacteristically of him to actually agree with me for once. Or maybe, he had always agree with me, and simply refused to admit it. Typical of Kwanghee. He and Siwan are just the same. And yet, they're so different. So, so, different.
"Anyway, don't think I don't know you, Kevin. You said he looked like a mentally unstable idiot the last time." That's Kwanghee. Cold and negative minded as always.
"Oh come on, I changed my opinion. Weren't you the one who said to encourage him, compliment him and make him happy?"
He only snickered in response.
"Hey, Kwanghee! See this, your trademark dance. Let's do it together." And that's Siwan. Mentally unstable idiot.
"Uhh...y...yeah, okay."
And then there were two mentally unstable idiots dancing together embarrassingly in the park. What have I gotten myself into? I hope none of my fans sees me here with them.
"Hey Kevin, thought you're busy...so you're here...with them?"
"Uh...h...hey...M...Min..."
"Who's he?" Siwan pointed his finger.
"Hi, I'm Minwoo. Kevin's..."
"Kevin ssi, you should go discuss with Minwoo ssi somewhere else. We're busy here." Quick, sharp reaction, as always.
"No, I want to hear. Minwoo ssi, I'm Siwan. May I hear more about your discussion?" Curious and persistent, as always.
"Actually, I'm Kevin's dance partner for his next show."
"I see. What kind of dance?"
"Siwan, stop it."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Minwoo ssi, Kevin ssi, now if you two can just leave..."
"No. Show your dance to me. You too, Kevin."
"Yah, Siwan! Don't be so stubborn!"
And then they were fighting again. I hate it. It's always about them and what they want. I'm just here to entertain them, cater to their contradicting demands. Sometimes I just want to give them reality slaps, sometimes I just want to leave. They never really appreciate my art, my dances, me...who I am, what I am. Neither do they like my existence, they just want me to stay. And follow their orders. I don't have to, you know? But I can't leave him. I just can't. He needs me. He will be sad without me. Of course I don't need him. I'm superstar Kevin. The whole world bow down to my awesomeness. The whole world, but him. I hate it. How more annoying can they get?
"Oh...so, Kevin hyung, should we or should we not?"
"No. Just go away now." Said Kwanghee.
"No. I want to see it. Please dance now." Said Siwan.
I facepalmed.
What headaches.
"Can one of you give in?" Finally, I let out my thought, though I doubt they would even consider.
They glared at each other.
"Kwanghee, I want to see it. I want to know how great they are."
"But Siwan-ah, why would you want to watch them? They're crappy performers. You're so much better."
Yeah, right. Suuureee. What a 'sincere' thing to say.
"Kwanghee..."
"Okay, fine. Suits yourself. But don't blame me later on when you start crying again. Stupid."
As usual. Siwan will get what he wants. Kwanghee likes to act bossy, but with Siwan, he's just a pathetic slave. Siwan likes to act dumbly stubborn, but he's just smarter than anyone else. How else does he get whatever he wants?
"So...hyung, uhh...shall we?"
"I don't want to."
"What?! But Kevvvviiinnn..." Sorry but that won't work with me. Not anymore. I'm tired of it all.
"Yah, Kevin, what's wrong with you?" Huh...now he's asking for it? Bipolar much.
"Just...why not?"
Because...I don't want to hurt him. I couldn't. I know he would hurt. And I couldn't bring myself to do it. Hurt him again. Because it makes me break like glass-me, the Star. Everytime I see him hurt. I know he's hurt. I know him more than anyone. More than them. More than him. And more than he knows himself. He's the only one who doesn't know me.
"Uhm...yeah. Maybe it's best if we don't show the dance in public place like this...it's...kinda....umm, ? Hahah. I'm not sure if Dongjun will like it." Minwoo was the only one who laughed at his own unfunny line. He didn't expect anyone to laugh along did he?
"What? I don't care. Minwoo ssi...can you please show it to me? Teach me? I promise I won't tell Dongjun." Why is he doing this?
"Uhhh,..."
"Yah, Siwan...are you stupid?! What's wrong with you? If...if you want to learn the dance so badly, just ask Kevin to teach you. I'm sorry for disturbing your day, Minwoo ssi. You may leave now."
"Oh....okay. I'll be going. Sorry for disturbing you guys. And, he's right, uhh...Siwan ssi, you can learn better from Kevin hyung. I learnt from him too."
And then he left. After creating all these mess. Thanks a lot, Minwoo.
"This is not fair! Why are you two always doing this to me?" Tears streamed out of his eyes effortlessly, as always.
"Siwan-ah..." He tried to coax, like coaxing a rebellious child. But Siwan had already ran to his room. Our room.
"See what you did, jerk? Well done, good job. You should be proud of yourself." Kwanghee left to follow Siwan after giving his infamous glare, like I was ever afraid of it.
"Thanks. Thanks a lot for the sincere compliments. Hey, Kwanghee...I said, Thanks!"
There was no one left at the park.
No one but myself.
I hated it.
I hated them.
They never cared for my feelings.
They never appreciate me, my art.
Every move was created with him in mind. How would he dance. What would he like. But he never look and understand when I dance.
Who are they anyway? A has been. A nobody. They're never going to be near as good as me. I'm a superstar. I don't need them to make me feel better. Why would I be hurt for them? Why would I be hurt for him? I don't need him. I'm a superstar even without him. My fans love me for who I am, for my talents, my art, my passion. They're too stupid to understand and appreciate. I don't need to show them anything. I don't need to hurt him and his ignorance.
So why am I hurting?
Because I hurt him.
I'm a superstar.
Fallen, and broken into shards.
No, they can't bring me down no more.
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yay, updated for Siwan's b'day...xD...eventhough this is Kevin-centric chapter...n i didn't plan it to be so angsty....oh well...and btw, the 'he' kevin refers to throughout this chapter....can be referred to more than one person....since this scene has more than two characters unlike previous chapters...if you read the dialogues carefully...you'll know who speaks which lines....i tried making it as obvious to make it easy... n don't feel bad if you don't understand what the hell is happening...guys. it was on purpose...but if you have any predictions/theory of what's happening...i'd be more than happy to hear it...who knows...you might be right....i'm not that unpredictable, sadly...:(...anyway, i should be sleeping instead so....bye~
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