Título: Skyscraper
Parejas: Junseung
Rating: Pg-13
Género: Angst, violence, fail!

Skies are crying, I am watching


I’m walking through the town for the first time in days. Junhyung hasn’t been at home for a couple of days this time and I’m worried, he hasn’t been out for that long ever. I try to think of places in where he could be, his work place, the café where we used to meet when we started dating, the park where we spent a lot of evenings just talking and laughing. I looked everywhere I could think of but he was nowhere to be found. I was running up of ideas when my cellphone started to ring with a new message.

From: Doojoon hyung
Message: Yah, Seung, I think you should go to the ice cream parlor on your neighborhood, there’s something you should see.

I blinked confusedly at the message, why would Doojoon message me something like that? But the curiosity was stronger than my logical thoughts. Even though it was starting to get cloudy and the wind was starting to get cold I decided it wouldn’t hurt to go and see what was happening in that parlor, I could be able to buy a strawberry ice cream once there too. I kept walking towards the parlor, I was so near when it started to rain, small droplets at first as I ran towards the safety of the pinky building. But when I got there I froze, through the window I was able to see Junhyung for sure after two days. He was there eating his favorite choco-mint ice cream. But he was not alone, sat across him there was a beautiful girl eating strawberry ice cream, doe eyes shining and pretty smile tucked on her pink lips. I stayed there for what it seemed like forever, just looking at them until I saw how Junhyung neared the girl and kissed her fully in the lips, to what the girl answered closing his big round eyes and caressing Junhyung’s hair.

I wasn’t able to stand looking anymore, I started to run towards my house, our house, not minding the drops that blurred my sight, not caring about the teardrops that were drenching my cheeks.

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

After a while I finally arrived home. I opened the door as fast as I could and I supported myself with the closed door. The warmth of the house welcomed me as the arms of my lover. At his thought the vision I had just had come back to me. Junhyung was cheating on me, Junhyung was dating another person, a girl, without me knowing anything. Slowly I made my way into the house and I realize how my life has revolved around Junhyung. My house was a sanctuary for our life together. As I walked through the house I started to remember all of our time together.


“Yah, Seung, what are you watching so focused?” Asked Junhyung as he entered the living room.
“There’s a Disney Marathon on tv today! I’m watching The Beast and the Beauty, it’s sooooo romantic and beautiful!!” Hyunseung was completely focused on the movie and wasn’t even looking at his boyfriend.

Junhyung made his way towards the couch where Hyunseung was sprawled enjoying the Disney movie with sparkles in his eyes and a big grin all over his face. He sat right at the end of the couch and dragged Hyunseung by the wrist so he was sitting on his lap. Junhyung started to trail butterfly kisses all over the older shoulders and neck, making him giggle. They stayed like that for a while, Hyunseung just caressing Junhyung hands strongly wrapped around his waist while the other kept kissing every patch of skin he could see. As the credits rolled over they decided to move to the next stage so Junhyung took Hyunseung bride style and brought him into their shared room where he started to kiss Hyunseung more lustfully. Hyunseung moved his hands skillfully undressing Junhyung while he tilted his head so the younger could have a better access to the sensitive skin under his ear. Junhyung noticed the movement immediately and reached the spot with his heated tongue, getting a moan in response. Junhyung smirked at his older lover, happy for the quick answer. Hyunseung finally managed to Junhyung’s shirt fully and now had total access to his chest. He started to caress his pectorals and shoulders, the tips of his fingers burning its way through the already hot skin.

I shut my eyes close while I tried to erase all the memories the purple couch had brought back. I kept walking through the corridor, trying to find something I could relate as purely mine, something that wouldn’t bring back memories of their time together. But with each step that was proven impossible.

Hyunseung was getting ready in their bathroom. They were going to meet the boys after some time and he wanted to look perfect, it had been some time since the last time he had gone out with Junhyung. As he was trying to make his hair look as something passable he felt a pair of hands encircling him as Junhyung hid his face in the crock of his neck.

“Junnie~ I gotta get ready if we want to arrive in time…” Hyunseung tried to convince his boyfriend but he let out a purr as he felt Junhyung on his shoulder
“I think they won’t mind starting without us, Seungie-ah, you look so y with that red hair, I want to have you right here…” Said Junhyung with a husky voice while tracing circles with his thumbs all over Hyunseung’s waist.

Hyunseung moaned quietly, trying to contain another moan by biting his lip. He let his head rest back in Junhyung’s shoulder while the other kept and leaving hickeys all over his lover’s skin. He closed his eyes for a second, feeling all the pressure from Junhyung’s thumbs on his tummy and waist and from his lips on his shoulder, neck and jawline. He opened his eyes and look at the mirror, where he saw them being reflected. He saw them being already flushed, his cheeks a bright pink, his hair already disheveled and his eyes glistening. Junhyung looked up, revealing his red lips and a smirk that turned Hyunseung on even more.

“Do you want me to take you while you look at our reflection, Seung-ah? Do you want me to you while you see your face screaming?” Whispered Junhyung into Hyunseung’s ear after leaving a trail of saliva from his shoulder. Hyunseung knew they had to stop, he knew they had to go out or they would be late, but he couldn’t help but nod his head, not willing to let the other go. He needed to be taken right there by Junhyung and he couldn’t hear anything more than their hearts beating fast and their uneven breath.

I felt my cheeks wet once again as I walked through the bathroom, we arrived late that day, but that was also the first time I felt that Junhyung really loved me, that he really cared for me and my needs.

I awaken and untangle you from me

And then the harder part comes, as I passed the bathroom door I got into the room that holds most of our memories together. Most of our moments together, or at least the most intense ones have happened in that room. I pushed softly the door, afraid of what I was going to reveal. Slowly the room was visible, the bed, with its white blankets and the pink covers, the small armchair, a little peeled due to the use, the big windows, where we used to spend the time just hugging, especially on rainy days like that. A sob made his way through my throat, although I tried to contain it came out, followed by another and another until I wasn’t able to stop them. I entered the feared room and stared at everything.

Hyunseung opened slowly his eyes, trying to adjust himself to the sunlight that was coming from the big window. He had told Junhyung a thousand of times that they should cover it with some curtains but the younger always argued that he loved how the rays of sun shone on his hair in the morning. Hyunseung turned around and stared at the man in front of him, long lashes against boney cheeks, heart-shaped lips relaxed and soft, morning hair disheveled. He took his time admiring his lover’s sleeping look so he didn’t even notice how the other moved his hand slow until it was resting on the older’s waist, pressing his fingers against the exposed skin. Junhyung dragged Hyunseung near so the shorter was facing his chest and so close so he was able to feel the other’s warmth. Hyunseung hugged him by neck, hiding his face in his chest and inhaling his unique scent. He was feeling in Heaven, like he was born to be like this, waking up on a beautiful house with the sun shining in the sky and a perfect man beside him to protect him and care for him. He felt in Heaven and he thought there was nothing more he could wish. Slowly, Junhyung entangled their legs together so there was not a single centimeter between them. Hyunseung felt how Junhyung started to kiss the crown of his head, going lower and lower, his ear, his jawline, his throat, his chest, his tummy and he gulped when he felt the younger going even souther.

“Ju…Jun, Junnie-ah…what…” He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as he felt Junhyung’s heated tongue his inner tight.

Junhyung looked up and simply smirked at his flushed boyfriend, he really found him the cutest person ever and he loved to know that he was the cause for those pinky cheeks and the sparkles in the eyes. He knew his older lover was so shy when it came to and that he has to take the lead, but the other always responded to every touch the way Junhyung expected him to do it, making the experienced Junhyung feel delighted. He kept teasing Hyunseung, and on his inner tight, his tummy, his legs, leaving a purple hickey in each spot, marking Hyunseung as his and leaving a mark of his attention. Every now and then he would go up again kissing the teased Hyunseung, enjoying their little tongue battles, giving some attention to the older’s s. Hyunseung knew Junhyung, he was already aware of how the younger loved to , he loved to make him begged, he loved when Hyunseung had to plead for some attention, blurry eyes and heavy breathing.

“Junnie, please, no more teasing, just, please….” Hyunseung begged, need clear in his voice, while trying to reach his with his own hand, ready to alleviate his own need.

But Junhyung stopped him halfway, he took Hyunseung’s hand and put each of them at a side, his own hands pressing them against the mattress. But the teasing time was finally over, after and Hyunseung s until they were hard and red due to the attention, he went down once again, ready to engulf the red that was screaming for attention. Junhyung took all he could without gagging, causing Hyunseung loud moans. He then started to and bit softly the head but Hyunseung moved his hips so Junhyung started to his again member once again. Before they could get to their a cellphone started to ring and Junhyung stopped on his tracks. Hyunseung wished for him to stay by his side, to not go to the cell, but he knew that there was no way Junhyung would a call so he untangled their legs and let Junhyung go. The younger gave him an apologetic smile to what Hyunseung just smiled back. Once Junhyung was out of sight he sighed and got up from bed, ready for another day of their lifes.


My knees were trembling so hard and I wasn’t able to stand anymore. I collapsed against the door, tears falling on the purple carpet and leaving dark stains, like the stains I was feeling in my soul right in that instant. I looked at my hands, scars crossing the back in irregular shapes, my arms, colored with purple marks, not love marks but hate marks all over them, as well as some more scars. The tears made my sight blurry but I was still able to see them, I have memorized every and each scar, each bruise, each wound, I have memorized them and even that way all I was able to remember at first were the happy moments.

You can break everything I am

“Who do you think you are?! YAH! I’M TALKING TO YOU, YAH, SEUNG-AH, COME OUT!”

Hyunseung was able to hear Junhyung’s screams at the other side of the door, even though he was sobbing so hard. He looked at his hands, where a cellphone was resting while buzzing non-stop. Why did he think that he could take his cell away and go out unharmed? Why was he so naîve still? He knew that it would be better if he went out in that moment, probably Junhyung would be too busy answering his cell to pay attention to him. He decided that it would be better to come out and give him his cell, he was being childish and Junhyung didn’t like him when he was childish.

Hyunseung tried to control his sobs and got up from the bathroom floor. He tried to avoid the mirror, he was sure he looked like hell, and walked to the door. At the other side of the door Junhyung was silent, just waiting for him to come out. He was dead serious but instead of yelling he just took the cellphone and pressed the green button. He went into their shared room and closed the door with a bang, leaving Hyunseung alone in the corridor confused. He walked into the living room and accommodated himself in the purple couch. He was going to turn on the tv when his own cell rang.

From: Doojoon
Message: Yah, Jang Hyunseung! Where are you hiding?! We went to your house last week but that boyfriend of yours told us you were sick. Call me when you get better so we can hang out!

Hyunseung stared at the message. He vaguely remembered how someone came home last week and Junhyung kick the person out so quickly. Hyunseung asked Junhyung who it was and he just told him that it was someone asking for money. He didn’t try to ask anymore, he knew what was going if he was too curious, or too happy, or too sad or too noisy. He kept staring at the message, wondering about deleting it right away, that way he would avoid some problems with Junhyung later, or answering it, maybe a quick answer, nothing to explicit, something to help them understand that he only needed to be with Junhyung and that they shouldn’t care about him anymore, he was going to be fine.But it was too late.

“Thinking about what to answer to your pimp?”

Junhyung had already finished his phone call and was right beside Hyunseung looking by his shoulder into the olders cellphone. Hyunseung jumped as he felt the hot air from Junhyung’s mouth in his ear. The cellphone fell and opened itself, losing its battery and turning off. Hyunseung picked up the pieces with shaky hands, trying to think of ways of making Junhyung know that he was not going to answer nor go out with Doojoon, he knew Junhyung didn’t like the older as much as he didn’t like Junhyung so he wasn’t going to go out with him. But before he was able to pick up the last piece he felt his hair being pulled up. He felt himself being lifted from the grown and thrown against a wall. He looked up, eyes blurry by the tears caused by the pain on his head, and saw Junhyung dead serious getting nearer. He just readied himself, there was nothing more he could do until Junhyung was satisfied.

Like I'm made of glass Like I'm made of paper

I got up from the floor and walked into the bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror after months of avoiding it and I look horrified at my reflection. I had purple bruises on my left eye and both my cheeks. My lips were so white and my lower lip had some dried blood in it. I looked horrible and I realized little by little how blind I had been. Why did I have to stand all of this? Why did I stand the hits, the punches, the insults, the humiliation? I definitely didn’t deserve any of this, I definitely deserved better. For once I felt strong, I felt like I could be able to stand up and go away from the pain. While I was with Junhyung I kept thinking that I was someone fragile, someone weak that needed protection, I thought that I needed Junhyung protecting me to make it in this cruel world, I didn’t realize that he was the one breaking me, he was the one ripping me apart as if I was just a piece of paper.

Go on and try to tear me down

I heard the front door being opened and I felt myself start shaking once again. I supported myself in the basin, trying to steady by breath and to stop shaking, I needed to stay strong in front of Junhyung this time, I needed to make him realize that I wasn’t going to stand the hurt anymore. I heard footsteps inside the house and I knew that he was probably going to the kitchen to grab his daily dosis of coke, he would probably go to the couch after that and he would call for me, he was probably in a good mood since he had been out the whole day so he may call me just to hug in the couch for the night, at least until I say something that makes him mad. And I was expecting in just a couple of minutes he was calling for and asking where I was.

I walked towards the living room where he was lying in the couch. He looked at me and I could swear I saw him looking at me with something that resembled sadness inside his bottomless brown eyes, even though I knew better than that. He told me to walk towards him but I didn’t move an inch. He sat in the couch and looked at me intensely, trying to figure out why I wasn’t moving. I just stared at him, making a big effort to not look away even though I was starting to feel afraid of what I was about to do. Was I really ready to do what I wanted to do?? Was I really ready to lose him for good or should I just try to change him into a better person? But was that even possible?? All those doubts started to make their way into my brain while I kept losing myself inside that intense stare that was starting to burn my skin.

I noticed Junhyung standing up from the couch and making his way towards me. I flinched a little when his hand reached my cheek, waiting unconsciously for the hit that I knew was about to come. But he just caressed my hurt cheek up and down, looking at me with what looked like a really pained look. He kept caressing my cheeks, my eyelids, my jawline, my hair, he kept my hair gently while I just closed my eyes and let him do. And let him do cause I felt like he noticed something different on me.

“What’s wrong, Seung? Why don’t you lay with me in the couch? I’m a little bit tired and I was expecting you to stay by my side tonight” Junhyung said in a whisper and I could swear that there was something more on his voice I wasn’t able to decipher.

“You know what’s wrong, Jun, everything is wrong, and I can’t do this anymore” I gathered all my strength and I voiced out what I was thinking for once in a long, long time. I felt Junhyung’s hand freeze on my cheek and I started to feel afraid once again. I opened my eyes slowly and I saw his eyes change from sadness to anger in a second. His hand left my cheek just to come back at light speed, leaving a burning sensation on it. I felt tears trying to escape from my eyes as my hand went to my pained cheek, a movement very well known.

“Do you think you can leave like this? Just by saying you can’t do this anymore it doesn’t mean you can leave me, Seung, you know I love you and you shouldn’t make me angry, I have told you that I’m tired today.” Junhyung didn’t look me straight in the eye and tried to make his way back into the couch but I grabbed his wrist and made him look at him in the eyes.

I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper, like a skyscraper

“This is what I mean, Junhyung, I can’t go on, I have accepted all of the hurt you have given me because I love you so ing much and I thought that you loved me in a way. I put on with all the humiliation and the pain because we loved each other and I thought that was the way our relationship had to go.”

“Then what the are you saying? We love each other and this is how our relationship works, you know it already, so what the are you trying to say?” Junhyung was shaking in front of me, I didn’t know if it was because of the anger or the terror of losing me, at that exact moment I didn’t even care.

“What the am I saying? I’m saying that I can’t keep it up with this, I can’t forgive you anymore for all the bruises and the hits, I can’t forgive you for insult me and lock me inside this cage for days so nobody will see that you hit me. I can’t meet our friends, I can’t go to work, I can’t even have a life because you are too scared that I will leave you!!!” I couldn’t help but start yelling back at the shaking Junhyung who was shaking more and more with each new word.

“You can’t be serious, you can’t—there’s no way—you can’t be in’ serious” Junhyung started to stutter, what was a bad sign from my experience.

And I knew I was right when I felt a hard pain on my ribs, I found myself grabbing my pained ribs after Junhyung kicked me on my side so hard. I felt my tears threatening again to fall but I controlled them, I wasn’t going to give up so easily this time, I had had already enough of this. I stood up once again, just to be punch on my stomach this time, I let out a grasp and I had to cough a couple of times, but I stood up again. Junhyung looked at me, anger rising up as I was standing to all his blows for once in my whole life. He slapped me, my cheek already numb after the first slap, and I looked back at him with a serene gaze.

“I saw you with her” Was the only thing I managed to say.

Go run run run I'm gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear yeah

He was about to hit me once again when he locked gazes with me, he looked at me and I see how his eyes melted a little, the anger being replaced by something stronger, by fear, clear and pure fear. He stopped midway his hand, already redden by the previous slapping. His hand dropped to his side and after a second looking at each other he turned away and started to run, and run, and run.

The front door slammed and I fell on the floor, breathing heavily and shaking hard. I hugged my knees and started rock back and forth, trying to control the tears and the silent sobs that wanted to escape my throat. And I was trying to process all that had just happened my cellphone started to ring.

“Hi, Doojoonie…Could you come over?” I said after answering the call. I really needed a friend to stay by my side, even though I was relieve that the nightmare had ended….

I still love you, Yong Junhyung.