Somewhere along the ages, Ari had finally given up on any and all hope of Hansol (perfect, handsome Hansol) ever reciprocating her feelings. Now, all she felt was drained, the sheer effort of hiding what she felt tiring her. Endless months of pining after the most oblivious boy ever could do that to you.

It wasn’t a known fact. Only her closest of friends and her mother knew of it. In all actuality, best-case scenario was Hansol didn’t even know she existed. Sure, he’d be charmingly polite and offer her that breath-taking smile of his when they happened to cross each other’s paths, but that was it for Interactions With Heavenly Creature Choi Hansol. And, truly, she was perfectly content with that.

This annoyed the heck out of one of her best friends, Pilsuk, out of her wits. “You idiot, how are you ever going to find out that he likes you if you don’t confront him?” She paired this statement with a glare that seemed permanently fixed onto her face, and despite her tiny stature (like under-5-feet tiny), she was the kind of girl that could intimidate you with a stare alone.

Ari sighed. Despite Pilsuk being 5 months younger than her, the younger spoke to her with next to no respect. The former would even think the latter did not know what the word meant, had Pilsuk’s demand that she be respected by ‘beings of lesser intellect’ at all times not been practically branded on her frontal lobe. Really, Ari loved her, but everyone could agree that Ahn Pilsuk was too much for anyone to handle.

“Pilsuk-ah, you don’t even know he likes me. In fact, I don’t think he does. At all.”

Pilsuk only gave her another glare (this time coupled with a condescending snort) and went back to ignoring her.

Her other friends, Jiyeon, Mei and Sophia, shook their heads at the second-oldest in the group, wondering just how exactly she was older than all of them. Superior intellect or no, Pilsuk could be terribly petulant at times.

“Well, there is something Unnie’s right about,” Sophia remarked. “You should just tell Hansol oppa that you’re, like, head over heels for him. Though goodness knows that would only further inflate his ego to combustion point.”

That’s right. Hansol oppa. One of Ari’s friends happened to be the love of her freaking life’s sister.

(When Pilsuk found out, she’d snorted in amusement because despite her undying adoration for clichés, this was just too much. Best Friend’s Brother blah blah blah.)

“And as much as I’ve enjoyed our fangirl sessions about Hansol-sorry, Never,” Jiyeon piped in, using the nickname they had established for a certain Choi. Get it, because there was absolutely no chance she would ever get with him. If there was a number lower than zero, that’s how much chance she had.  “Doesn’t mean I enjoy endless nights of you crying on our shoulders cause precious Anya was being a little extra precious and Never was being extra oblivious.”

Mei, who was also in a dilemma in concerns of secret pining (though she claimed that it was nowhere near the capacity of what Ari felt for Hansol), smiled. “Guys, leave it alone. If she doesn’t want to, don’t force her. It’s her decision, ultimately.”

A pained look crossed Pilsuk’s face and her eyes went suspiciously bright. “I know, Mei-ah. I just don’t want you to keep wondering about the ‘what might have been’. Is it bad to wish a happy ending on you?”

Everyone went quiet, knowing full well about the former’s brush with intense emotional pain. All 6 years of it, every single detail, and as much as they reveled in the fact that Pilsuk trusted them enough to practically bare her soul, it didn’t make her pain easier on them or herself.

“I’m sorry,” Ari whispered. She felt so selfish. Her problems were nothing next to Pilsuk’s. Who was she to complain to her when the other had probably experienced everything she was now?

Pilsuk laughed through the obvious lump in . “Idiot, you’re over-thinking again. Since I talk so much, I might as well pay you guys for listening to me by listening back. So, heartbreak extraordinaire, Ahn Pilsuk, at your beck and call.” She did a mock bow in her seat, twisted in a pained smile that did nothing to veil her tight eyes.

Ari sighed again, not wanting to meet Pilsuk’s eyes. (And, knowing her, she hated to show that side of herself for a reason. One of the reasons she tried so hard to hide it.)

All four of them had vowed that boys were not a priority for them. No boyfriends, or silly crushes, or falling in love until… until the time was deemed right. So, Ari wondered how their lives had become this, pining over stupid boys who’d probably never like them back. She dreaded to think of the heartbreak littered around the road to and through her heart. Seeing Pilsuk, and just what love did to such a strong person, she was afraid.

Love was more dangerous than any poison, any weapon, any nuclear warhead on the earth. Because instead of you controlling it, it controls you. Contorts your vision and twists your insides in something so coldly cunningly painful.

Love was an invisible disease. Should you catch it, go to your nearest doctor and search for a cure. Anything is better than the alternative.

Contrary to the belief of her friends, fear of rejection was not the only thing that stood in her way to her proverbial end of the rainbow pot of gold. She’d like to think she was stronger than that.

No, it was Anya, the object of Hansol’s endless affection. Anya, with her stupidly stick-straight hair, making her feel more insecure about the curls she got from who-knows-where. Anya, who was all angles and graceful while Ari was height and awkward. Anya, with her straight A’s and amazing athletic ability. Anya, with being enough for Hansol and the only thing he think’s he’ll ever want.

Really, Ari didn’t hate the Japanese girl. In fact, when she’d first arrived in their small town, they had what she thinks Pilsuk would call an “amiable acquaintance”. (Whatever that meant.) She was nice to Ari and Ari to her, and all was well. Ari liked the other girl so much that she couldn’t even resent her when she’d found out that Hansol was tragically besotted with her.

Now, looking back, Ari could see the clues. Hansol’s lingering stare on the lithe Japanese, the curve of a smile on his lips whenever Anya said something. The way he’s throw his head back and laugh at a joke of Anya’s that wasn’t even close to being funny and the way he’d pay extra attention on her whenever the gang came to visit Sophia at her house.

But she was getting ahead of herself. She hadn’t even explained the “Wingman Incident”. Sigh. This was turning out longer that should be possible.

Pilsuk, with no knowledge of Ari’s affections, had hit it off with Anya. Though that wasn’t a shock since Pilsuk could hit it off with anyone if she tried hard enough. Apparently, Pilsuk had liked Anya enough to talk Hansol up to Anya. (A request straight from the boy himself, which had her seething and crying later on because “I’m a terrible friend, I could totally have sabotaged any chances of their relationship happening, I am so so sorry Ari, why didn’t you tell me?”)

Later, Pilsuk would describe the scene to all of them.

“I was just walking around town staring at things when Hansol came up to me asking for help. Of course,” pointed looks towards a sheepish Ari, “I could’ve slapped his face for even suggesting that suggestion to me. But, in my defense, I had no knowledge,” another pointed look, “of what Ari unnie felt so I agreed cause if the guy was desperate enough to ask his little sister’s best friend, you gotta take some pity.

“So, I did what he asked. I dropped little hints of what Hansol felt about her. She didn’t notice, they would make such a cute couple, I can imagine them living together at eighty shouting “Where’s the butter?” when it’s right there in front of them. Annnnyway, so after doing so, I reported back to him and he’d badger me with questions about her type, or her favorite flowers or colors or smells. Though WHY he couldn’t do that himself, I have no idea. Boys are stupid and will always be and we’ll just have to accept that.”

Pilsuk paused to turn the force of her glare on Ari, who may or may not have been cowering behind a throw pillow. She could make you cower in your own home; she had that kind of power. “And then Kwon Ari-ssi decided to pop a totally random confession on me! All those weeks over fangirling over the sheer OTPness of Hansol and Anya and I’m making my best friend suffer by shoving this in her face? Do you know how that makes me feel?”

“Okay, I said I was sorry!” Ari crowed, so not pouting. “I’m sorry for making you cry, okay? I’m an idiot, you tell me enough times.”

Pilsuk offered a saccharine smile. “You know I love you.” She paused, frown replacing her smile. “And you also know that it wasn’t the crying that bothered me. Just, don’t keep secrets from any of us okay? I feel so freaking guilty for being happy about the one thing you don’t particularly like. Frankly, I feel like crap on a sidewalk so just don’t. And if I do something that makes you unhappy, just slap me m’kay? What?!?” she asked incredulously through her friends’ laughter. “I mean it! But the reason has to be a pretty legit reason or I’ll slap you back twice as hard. Not kidding, I will.”

Pilsuk was the type to joke about any situation, but Ari could see that she really did regret not noticing and not putting a stop to the actions that had hurt her friend. So, while they deviated to a random topic that was apparently really funny, Ari laid a hand on Pilsuk’s and gave it a comforting squeeze.

She squeezed back.

Ari recounted to the time when Pilsuk finally explained why she’d been so hurt over Ari’s confession.

That surely was a messy night.

“I was six, peeps. Six years old. I couldn’t tell left from right, much less whether a guy liked me back or not. And, well, maybe it wasn’t all too wise for me to fall in love that young, when I didn’t understand love. At all. But fall in love I did. Tragically and irrevocably.

“Don’t try to make me explain why I fell in love with the guy. Cause I can’t give you one. He was just nice and unattainable, which of course added to the appeal. Nothing beats forbidden love. Ask the people. But he could be nice on occasion. Like, he pushed this guy down the stairs ‘cause he thought that dude was stalking me. It wasn’t that nice a gesture but I appreciate the thought. It’s the thought that counts after all.

“Then the mean Queen Bee of class 2 decided to meddle in my peaceful bliss of love. She told the guy I liked him and he looked at me like I was something weird he found in the bin. That hurt, obviously. A lot. Also obviously.

“Then, I left the school and I thought I could get rid of him. Fresh start and crap. Then, he came back a few years later and sort of wanted to punch him because how dare he, how dare he, get into my life again when I only ever wanted him gone. Lee Chan, ladies. The bane of my existence.”

Pilsuk barely even noticed the stream of tears down her face. “I loved him so bad. I was in that downward spiral of insanity, because he took what I never ever wanted to give to anyone but people who truly deserved it. My heart. He trampled on it, stomped on it, spat on it, put it through the incinerator then reduced the ashes to even ashier ashes. He was a nice, sweet little boy who had all this power over me and he didn’t even have a clue.

“Then, we got grouped together in the stupid seating chart. I’d lived through the past few months with him in close vicinity so I guess it didn’t make a difference whether he was right across the room or right across from me. Me, him and the English transfer student Rita. We up a sort of friendship and I decided I’d take what I could get from him. Better it be friendship that total exile.

“He, then, had the gall to ask me for girl advice. On the prettiest, richest, not quite the smartest cause that was me girl in our class.” A cruel laugh. “Even funnier, I agreed to help him. I am such a total idiot right. But I was past the point of caring for the rationality of my actions concerning Chan. What made him happier made me happy too and I loved him. I guess that’s enough of an explanation.”

Her voice dropped to a low mutter. “Then, I had to move. Move from my lovely Seoul to some decrepit little town and leave Chan forever. I was relieved beyond explanation. I could leave him. Never ever see him again cause what are the chances of seeing the same person twice in a city of roughly a million people? Slim.”

Pilsuk set her tear-filled eyes on each girl, all who loved dearly and vice versa. The words she spoke were largely for their benefit as well as hers. “Let’s face it. Love . Loving . Being loved worst of all. It robs you of everything you are and you change into someone you never were. It’s a black hole of real happiness and offers you a fake replica for it because humans are naturally social creatures. They, we, think we’re happy in the company of others when really we aren’t. It’s a false pretense, love, a practice so old everyone only feels obligated to continue it.

“Yet. Love is a dangerous game that you’re just going to end up losing, on way or another. Don’t bother playing, girls, or risk the breaking of your world.”

Nobody spoke for the rest of the night.

So, why was Ari standing there, right in front of Hansol’s house, after all those lessons from awfully insightful Pilsuk? Hadn’t she learned? That love was not something you could mess around with, unless you were ready for the repercussions?

While she mulled these things over, her luck just got better. One drop, two drops, three, then a steady stream that transformed into an unfortunate torrent.

Ari groaned in frustration, be Mother Nature and how her hair had a tendency to look like several hairy puppies had take residence on her head. Really, couldn’t it have rained any other day? There were plenty of other days where she wasn’t planning on confessing to Hansol, why couldn’t it have rained then? Ready to turn on her heel and successfully talk herself out of the “profess my love to Never” plan for as long as they both shall live, her shoulders had already sagged in defeat when an all-too-familiar voice echoed behind her. (You don’t spend hours poring over it without memorizing it, true fact.)

“Ari-ah?”

Ari froze. Did Hansol just call her Ari-ah? She didn’t realize they were that close, close enough to refer to each other informally. Oh, did that mean she could call him oppa because that would be a federal offence to her stomach and her tongue and her heart, oh great she was going to start hyperventilating wasn’t she oh just perf-

“Ari?” Hansol repeated, laying a clearly tentative hand on her (rapidly-chilling) shoulder.

Slowly, as not to spook him (spook him? He wasn’t a possum), she turned around to meet warm brown eyes she wanted to drown in.

Well, it was raining so hard drowning was a complete possibility.

“Er…” Ari’s eyes widened. Sophia was not home, she knew that, so what was her excuse going to be for lurking around like creeper on their lawn? Ahh, maybe I can tell him I left something at Sophia’s, I’m sure it won’t be too obvious I’m lying to his face.

Opening to say just that, she was cut off by Hansol’s hand tightening on her shoulder. “Um, can I talk to you? Inside? I’ve had this thing I’ve been wanting to tell you for a few weeks but I couldn’t find you so…”

“No!” Ari burst out, eyes wider than really should have been possible. Recoiling from the taken-aback look on the other’s face, Ari scrambled for words to remedy the situation. “I mean, whatever you want to say, just say it out here.” Running away from sheer embarrassment would be less of a chore if they were already outside. (Though she had little doubt he could outrun her with ease.)

“O-kay…” Hansol regarded her with an odd look and she would have flushed, had there been enough blood in her to do so. She thought she was half ice statue by then.

Taking a deep breath, Hansol slipped his hand from her shoulder to her trembling hand. Ari’s eyes shot to it, but Hansol’s free hand guided her chin so their eyes were locked together.

Ari swore she could have died right then and be contented with her life.

“I don’t really know how to say this but…” Hansol trailed off, clearing his throat and blinking rapidly to keep the rain from his eyes. “Just don’t run away from me okay? And if you-if you don’t agree with whatever I’m doing, stop me? And don’t turn all awkward after it please?”

Ari could have been awkward even if she was on awkward-repelling medication. But she nodded anyway, because she was completely under the enchantment of Choi Hansol and it would hurt too much to move away and stop whatever was happening.

“Okay,” Hansol breathed, cupping her cheek. He kept his eyes on hers, though, despite the obvious uncertainty in his movements. Why was he being so cautious, it’s not like he likes me or whatever.

Ari seriously could’ve been struck by lightning. Being that oblivious about something literally right in her face was some kind of cosmic crime.

Hansol moved his lips in a silent mutter (don’t focus on his lips, don’t focus on his lips, DON’T). “Ari, I don’t think I could go any longer without saying this. So I’ll just say it. And you promise you won’t completely freak on me?”

“Pinky promise,” Ari whispered, though it came as a shock to her that vocal chords were still in working order in such close proximity to Choi freaking Hansol.

Deep breath. “Good.”

Another deep breath.

“I really, really like you, Ari,” whispered Hansol, eyes surprisingly unguarded. “In fact, if you’ll let me, I think I’ll even learn to love you.”

He didn’t give Ari time to react and pressed his lips to hers in a gentle yet urgent kiss.

Ari was practically comatose at this point. She let Hansol move his lips on hers in a surprisingly-yet-not-really-that-surprisingly expert way, the feel of his soft lips on her own enough to drive her to sensory overload.

When she wasn’t responding, Hansol pulled away (still managing to blush a delicious shade of red) muttering, “I am so sorry, I didn’t think-I should’ve asked you first. I’m really sorry, Ari, let’s just… let’s just go inside and get you dry then you can forget this ever happened. Really, I am so, so sorry-”

“Why are you apologizing?” Ari deadpanned, searching his eyes. Was this real? Was this, honest-to-goodness, seriously happening? She wasn’t dreaming was she?

Hansol furrowed his eyebrows in the little way he did when he was confused. “Because, because I kissed you and you didn’t even give me permission. And I really shouldn’t have done that?” It sounded more of a question than a statement.

Ari snorted. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for over a year now, Hansol, I don’t think I’d mind very much if suddenly assaulted me in the street or something-” she gasped, her hand shooting up to cove .

Did. She. Really. Just. Say. That.

Hansol was in complete awe. “You-you like me too? Seriously? You’re not joking?”

Ari scowled, though it was kind of hard to when there were cartoon hearts blazing in Hansol’s eyes. “Why the heck would I joke about this? You know I’m not that kind of person.”

“Then.” Hansol paused, sidling up to her until their torsos where flush together. “So… Can I kiss you again?”

Ari’s eyes travelled shamelessly from chocolate eyes to honey-sweet lips.

“You certainly can.”

And that was how Ari’s Never became her Forever.