Hyunseung didn’t remember what day it was when Hyuna walked out on him.  He only remembered her angry face and her reluctance to talk to him.  Was it bad he still found her so endearing despite the fact she was basically stabbing him with her angry gaze?

Maybe it was the alcohol talking.

Hyunseung knew his bad habits.  He floated between being fully conscious and intoxicated, having become so reliant on drinks that he would feel extremely anxious when he was sober.  That was how Hyunseung dealt with all his problems; he would drench them with liquor until he couldn’t feel the pain suffocating him anymore.  The pain of being the cause for his friend’s accident, the regret that he could no longer being able to say sorry and the reality of knowing how useless he has become made him feel trapped with no way out.

When he first met Hyuna, he didn’t wish for her to see that side of him.  He had tried his best to not seem gloomy or down.  Hyunseung hoped she would see some hope in him.  And before he knew it, Hyuna had become his distraction and freedom.  Her carefree smiles and tender nature became Hyunseung’s world.  It felt like he was being forgiven.   

But reality was not that forgiving.  He realised that was just a façade, which began to chip away at the edges.  And all his problems were still there, waiting to crawl out and slither back into his mind.  But every time he was with Hyuna, he momentarily felt at ease and comforted.  She was his drug.

Hyunseung didn’t really want to let Hyuna go.  It was the first time he saw her get this angry.  He also knew that his words would not be able to get through to her at that time, so he reluctantly let her pass.

Hyuna had turned away without a second look at him.  Had she given up on him as well?  He knew that he was just a shell of the former person he used to be.  Was Hyuna sick of that too? 

Without caring about his torn up t-shirt, he lit a cigarette and hoped that the fumes would calm him down.  But when he thought about a life without her, he couldn’t imagine it because she was person who had put meaning back into his life.  He was an idiot for not holding her back when he could.  And that self-hatred began boiling up his mind again.  Hyunseung then threw the cigarette down onto the kitchen floor in anger and scratched his head angrily in annoyance. 

No matter what it took, he was going to bring Hyuna back. 

 Where was she?

Did she have a place to sleep at night?

He called her but she was obviously still mad at him and didn’t answer any of his calls.

Hyunseung searched through the nightclubs Hyuna usually went to.  She wasn’t there.  Even though he didn’t find her, he was relieved that she wasn’t doing the one thing he would have done.  Get wasted.  Like a fool.

Where was she?

Was she alright?