Epilogue: The Forsaken Lover

“I believe there's a place where the restless souls wander, burdened by the weight of their own sadness. They wait for a chance to set the wrong things right. Only then can they be reunited with the ones they love. Sometimes, a crow shows them the way; because sometimes, love is stronger than death.” (City Of Angels)

Kris looks up at the blue sky, the sun shining brightly down on him. He closes his eyes as he savors this moment. Finally, I'm back in Korea. Kris smiles before moving. He goes to the hotel where he booked a room to settle for the day and rest. He wants to go to their shared apartment, but Kris feels like he would be violating Chanyeol's privacy if he does that. So, he will endure not seeing Chanyeol for the day. He needs rest and he needs to recuperate for their meeting. Kris sleeps the whole day until the morning the next day.

In between the night and dawn, he dreams of himself. He dreams about the day Chanyeol broke up with him. He remembers how he suddenly felt reluctant to go home. Like sensing something bad was going to happen. His footsteps got slower, he suddenly felt like not going home. So he took his sweet time walking. Oddly enough, his intuition was right. He found Chanyeol in the living room, sitting on the couch, staring into space. Chanyeol usually keeps himself busy because he hates thinking. So looking at a spaced-off Chanyeol, Kris knew something is really off. He rushed to his lover's side, concern written all over his face. When Chanyeol gazed at him with bloodshot eyes, Kris felt afraid. 

Uttering the words of seperation, Kris fell into despair. This must be a joke right? He asked himself. Then, he realized, Is this what Chanyeol felt when he saw Baekhyun and I kiss? , it hurts. 

"... Farewell hyung."

Gasping for breath, Kris sits up wearily. Dreams, nightmares of the past, are haunting him again. Eversince he went to China, he had been dreaming of different situations of that screwed up situation. Every night, every time he goes to sleep and every time he closes his eyes, it's always Chanyeol's face he sees. Sad, happy, confused, and broken. Clutching on the sheets of the bed, he prepares himself for the day. 

Gripping his phone tightly, Kris taps his left foot with an annoying beat. People around him glare at the noise he is making, but most of them shrugs it off because damn, he's gorgeous. Finally, after the fifth ring, a voice answers the phone call. He has been calling since lunch ended.

"Yoboseyo?"

The voice sends Kris into a pit of nostalgia. He's glad that he didn't change his number. "Hey."

The other line goes silent, before a shaky breath answers back. "K-kris?"

Kris chuckles at the reaction he got. "Yeah, it's me."

"Oh my God! I-- Ho-- Wha--"

"Calm down, Baekhyun." Kris orders, hearing panic, joy and confusion in Baekhyun's voice.

"Holy ! Kris hyung! You're alive!"

Kris tightens his grip, "Of course I am." 

"Well what do you want us to think? Two years passed by without you contacting any one of us!" Baekhyun exclaims from the other line. 

Kris clears his throat, guilty and sad. "I-is Chanyeol with you?"

Silence takes over their conversation, before hearing Baekhyun's hesitant voice again. "No."

"Where is he, Baekhyun-ah?" Did they not reconcile? Kris furrows his brows as he thinks of what happened during his absence.

"Why don't you contact him? I'm sure he'll be glad to hear about you." Kris sighs at Baekhyun's reply.

"I'd probably back out once I hear his voice. Come on Baek, tell me where Chanyeol is. I'd rather talk to him personally."

Baekhyun coughs silently, "Yeol is in the hospital t--"

"What?! What hospital?" Kris panics at the word hospital. What is he doing there? Oh dear God, please tell me what I think is wrong. Please, please. 

"****** hospital. He's ther--"

"The room number?" Kris asks impatiently. Chanyeol. Chanyeol. chanyeol.

"209. Hyu--"

"Thank you, Baek." Kris hangs up the phone.

Running has never been Kris' thing. But when he hears Chanyeol and hospital in one sentence together, his flight mode turns on. Skipping through the hallways, he finds the room number with ease. Chanyeol is in the hospital. Dear God. His breathing is erratic from all the running he did. His heart beats rapidly as his mind continues to chant Chanyeol's name. Chanyeol. Chanyeol. He knocks at the door.

"Come in." An unfamiliar voice greets him. Gripping on the knob with hesitancy, he twists it slowly and enters the room. 

What he sees stabs him in the heart.

Right there, in front of his eyes, he sees Chanyeol smiling brightly at a tan boy. Turning their heads at the new comer, Chanyeol's eyes widens as his mouth turns into an 'o'. When their eyes meet once again, after two years, that same old feeling comes back. When Kris thought that his heart couldn't beat faster than it was  a while ago, he's wrong. Noise blurs his ears, and his eyes on Chanyeol's hazel orbs. Something builds up in his throat as the man he loves smiles up at him brightly.

"Kris hyung?" Chanyeol asks, unsure if he's real or if he's just another imagination of his. Kris swallows the lump that is building up in his throat. He nods, not trusting his voice. 

Chanyeol then waves Kris to sit down beside him. Slowly, he crosses his way towards the bed.

"Wufan-hyung," Kris misses the way his name rolls out of Chanyeol's tongue. "meet Jongin."

That's when Kris shifts his gaze at the boy whose body is leaning against the headboard of the bed. His tan, which looks bronze up closer, skin defines his features except, his pale face ruins it all. He looks sick. "Hey." Kris manages to croak out.

"Sup." Jongin nods at him. "So you're the infamous 'Kris hyung' huh."

The said man nods and shifts in his seat. Kris then realizes that he is enclosed in a room filled with white walls and intoxicating scents of medication and bleach. The room smells awful and has gone real. The room is dead silent, and soon the tallest out of them panics in his mind. Kris hates hospitals. A nauseous feeling claws inside of him, breaking his calm demeanor. He clears his throat, obviously uncomfortable in his current situation. After the awkward silence, Kris mans up and looks at Chanyeol. "Chanyeol, can we talk?"

Blinking, Chanyeol manages to nod. "Sure."

Well that was unexpected. Everything is unexpected. Kris is expecting a bitter, sad or an angry Chanyeol. Not a compliant one with a cute smile that makes Kris melt.

"We'll be back, Jongie. Kyungsoo's gonna drop by any minute now." Chanyeol hugs Jongin before placing a peck on his pale cheeks. It burns pink at the sudden action. Stabbed. Pricked. Ripped. Kris' heart feels it all. He clears his throat before going out of the room. This place sickens him. And that previous scene burns in his mind. No matter how relieved he feels at the moment, a thousand of questions fills Kris' mind.

What is he to Chanyeol? Are they dating? Oh God. How could I take Chanyeol away from a dying man? I couldn't do that. No. Kris feels the same feeling he felt when he last went to a hospital. Dear God, why him. His lungs seems to stop working as his knees began to shake. Gasping for air, he slaps his chest. Get it together Kris. He hears a shuffle behind the door and it opens, revealing Chanyeol.

"Hyung? Come on." Chanyeol hesitantly takes Kris wrist. That warm hand, oh how Kris missed his Chanyeol's warmth. He basks the nostalgic feeling in his heart. Chanyeol. Chanyeol.

They are silent the whole time Chanyeol navigates through the maze-like looking hallways (in Kris' mind) outside the garden. Soon, Kris finally lets out a shaky breath. Thank God he's out there. The naeuseous feeling leaves his heart as his body seems to relax at the scent of the fresh air. Chanyeol guides Kris to the garden, revealing a small unoccupied clearing. It has an old fountain and three clean benches surrounding it. 

Chanyeol takes a seat at a nearby bench, Kris following suit with an awkward space between them. 

Silence...

Kris clears his throat for the nth time that day. "Chanyeol-ah,"

"Mmm?" Chanyeol mumbles, his head leaning up at the blue sky while closing his eyes. 

Kris decides to man up. He's dying to know what kind of relationship does Chanyeol and that boy has. Whether he should pursue Chanyeol or let him be with a dying man. Confused and broken, Kris asks straight to the point, "Are you dating him?"

It took Chanyeol a minute before muttering a dumb "huh?"

"I asked you if you are dating that Jongin boy." Fear creeps up in Kris' spine, eating and clawing his insides as he waits for Chanyeol's answer. Would he answer yes? Or would it be a no? Soon, he feels a dull ache on his side. Chanyeol just pinched him.

"What the heck hyung? Do you think I'll be sitting here comfortably with you, if I'm dating him?" Chanyeol flails his arms like a kid, pouting and glaring at the taller male. "It's been two years. Two freaking long years and the first thing you ask me is if I was dating Jongin. Really? No. I'm not. I'm not dating anyone either. And you know whose fault is that?" 

Chanyeol can't stop talking. He lets his frustration speak for him. With a shaky voice, he utters the answer to his own question. "Yours. You. It's still you, Wufan hyung. My love, my heart and my mind can't get enough of you. No matter what I do, no matter what I try, it's always you. It will always be you."

Kris stops breathing for a second, processing what Chanyeol said, before engulfing the younger one in a heart-warming embrace. Thank God. Thank God, he repeats. He lets out a shaky breath, feeling his eyes well up in tears he hasn't shed since they last saw each other. "Oh God, I miss you yeobo." 

Kris tightens his grip on Chanyeol.

"I missed you too." Chanyeol nuzzles his face on the crook of Kris' neck. Kris feels complete. The feeling gratification fills his mind and that heart quenching feeling in his chest. How he loves Chanyeol's presence. The gap that has been empty for two years feels full and overwhelming with Chanyeol in his arms. 

"I love you so much yeobo."

Kris doesn't know how long they stayed like that, but he isn't complaining. Actually, he is willing to stay like that forever. Together with Chanyeol. Till the end. He smiles. But then, it soon fades, thinking about the dying man. Jongin. What happens to him now? Kris feels bad for taking his only happiness away, but he is not sorry for giving Chanyeol and himself a happy ending. It's something both of them has been wishing for ever since.

Chanyeol feels so happy, so contented, now Kris is back. The dull feeling in his chest disappears when Kris shows up. Curious, he looks up to his hyung. Somehow, he can't utter the words he used to say or respond back to Kris' words of love. Not that the older minded (well a little.) There's hesitancy in Chanyeol's side that he can't grasp. He wants to say it, but something is holding him back. But for now, he'll settle in Kris' arms. It's warm. He leans in again. This time, shifting his face to the side. 

"Wufan hyung, why did you ask about Jongin and I?" Chanyeol asks, quite surprised and taken aback with his hyung's question a while ago.

"You looked really happy with him, contented even. And the way you look at him is different with the way you look at a friend." Chanyeol blushes at that statement. He's not gonna lie, Jongin is hot. But Chanyeol only thinks of him as a little brother. "You even kissed him on his cheek.