A/N: Let me apologize first not to throw things to Eric! It’s ok if you want to throw them at me… but not Eric … he’s just the

character I created so … *bows* Hope you can leave your thoughts… and Thanks again for reading until now… :D

He had not known that staring the black screen of his phone would be that interesting and thrilling. 

Waiting it to flash the light and to display the ID that he wanted to see the most at the moment.

How many hours now? 18 or 19?

The last time he had a call from Eric was yesterday afternoon and there was no good night text or call last night like there was no

good morning greeting this morning.

Also no popping up in his studio …

He counted in mind how long there was since he had met Eric …

Nearly three months now …

So, Eric’s attention span was only three months?

If so, it meant their relationship was near the expired date …

He must be a fool if he said he was not feeling Eric was drifting apart from him gradually. Shorter texts, shorter calls, less frequent

sleepovers, less dropping by at his studio; he was not stupid enough to ignore them.

Since he had been expecting this since a long time ago …

But now he realized how much different it was between expecting it and really facing it. He always imagined that time to come but

once it really got closer to him, he was far from being calm and cool.

In fact, he was starting to be panicked and want to hide from the truth.

Like now, when he was just hypnotizing himself, saying Eric must be just too busy to call him.

What a pathetic creature.

He let out a chuckle although it was a dry and lifeless one. Ruffling the strands of his neatly done hair, he sank himself into the

couch more.

Why had he fallen so hard for Eric since the beginning?

He was already a fool to fall head over heels for Eric, let alone thinking that maybe Eric could love him back if he saw his sincere

heart.

Who was he playing with all this time?

It was the Eric Mun and he still hoped to get some real affection from him?

He was too naïve or too stupid or too blind for hoping that.

And he thought he could withstand all the aftermaths of loving and playing along with Eric. That was the reason why he had decided

to start this game. But, after all, he was a mere coward like anyone who was falling deep in love.

Where had he got that kind of confidence at the first place?

He tried to laugh at himself but strangely, he could not let out a voice suddenly.

Instead of it, only tears started falling over his face.

He tried to dry them up with the back of his hand but they were rebelling against him by flowing endlessly. Then, not helping him at

all, a choked up feeling crept up inside his chest, like it was trying to make his heart burst out.

He lifted his dangling legs towards his chest and changed his position into a fetus one. Grabbing his own shirt at the location of his

trembling heart and hoping to be able to ease the choking away, he sank his face into the crack between his knees, like it could

hide him from this world.

He knew he should be ashamed of himself for crying like a teenage girl who was heartbroken for the first time despite of his gender

and his age. But he could not help it because it was not him who was crying.

It was his heart which was full with wounds and cracks and expecting soon to be crushed up into pieces. No. crushed up into ashes.

Besides choking up and feeling like his whole body was going to explode, he was not still able to blame Eric until now.

Eric was always like that. Since a long time ago before meeting him.

He just played and that was all.

He knew that and Eric knew he knew.

That was how they had started this game and now it was quite obvious who was the weak one among them.

He hoped to be able to change Eric’s heart with his sincere feelings but at last …

 He was the one who had been changed by Eric and now he was like he could not live without Eric. He did not know anymore how

he had been living his life before he met Eric.

What did he usually do after work?

What did he usually do after dinner?

What did he usually do at weekends?

He could not recall anything at all surprisingly.

His memories were filled with Eric like he had always been revolving around Eric and Eric alone.

The only sounds in his quiet studio were his short breaths due to crying. He could feel his tears were coming to the end and it

seemed like he had already used up all his tears for lifetime.

He glanced again at his still silent phone and after a few minutes, he gave up and blocked his logical thoughts.

Just once. For this once.

He touched the green sign beside the name Eric before putting the phone against his ear with shaking hands.

“Hello.”

He stretched his arm towards the door knob already knowing who the guest coming at such late night was. He even heard his heart

beating so fast and although he wanted to deny the fact he was waiting the one behind the door for so long, as soon as he saw the

familiar handsome face with a killer smirk standing in front of the door, he could not help it but melt right away in that brown orbs.

“Sorry … I was busy …”

In spite of his dignity and pride yelling out loud back in his mind, his body had been already under his blind heart and as a result, he

hugged the man in front of him tightly, as if that man was drifting away in air. Actually, in his head, he kept feeling that he was

gradually losing the man he loved.

Well, saying “Losing”, had he ever had that man as his since the beginning? The answer was unclear and at the present, he was too

busy being clouded by love and overwhelmed by the warmth emitting from Eric’s body to think about that answer.

Then, a faint trace of female cologne touched his nose when he pressed his face against Eric’s chest. A knife cut through his heart

and he could even feel the drops of blood seeping from the wound deep inside of his heart. Although now he was facing what he

had been expecting all the way, he could not help but automatically started clinging Eric, like he was going to disappear into thin air.

Sensing his desperation in his embrace, Eric replied the hug with an equal passion, snaking his arms around the slim waist before

lifting up his chin to taste the sweetness of the other’s lips.

If he had been melting in Eric’s gaze, now he was nearly falling apart feeling all the electricity via Eric’s lips caressing his and later, as

he had already expected, Eric’s tongue and hands started to invite Hyesung to the more sinful yet wonderful world. Letting the man

savoring the taste of his whole mouth and roaming his hands all over the places of his body, he got near the edge, his legs starting to

give away. He grabbed Eric’s shoulder as a S.O.S and instinctively the other man’s hands reached on his thighs, lingering around

there for a moment before grabbing them with force. At the same time, he gave a light jump and only after a second, his long and

thin legs had been already wrapped around Eric’s waist miraculously without breaking their kiss even for a split second.

He fisted a handful of Eric’s black strands of hair while the counterpart was roaming his hands freely and sensually around the area of

Hyesung’s back as the kiss was getting more intense. The short breathing sounds and low moans of the two men who were kissing

each other like there was no tomorrow echoed around the dark and silent studio, bringing them higher and higher in ecstasy. He

only wished at the moment for time being frozen and nothing else.

He felt a cold and hard feeling against his back and also a pair of hands struggling to undo the buttons on his shirt. With much

experience, Eric managed revealing the front part of him while his tongue was dominating the other. Along the paths that Eric’s

hands went around, a fire like sensation followed and he gasped frequently enjoying the ultimate pleasure despite of feeling like his

last strand of dignity being torn away.

Well. The word Dignity had been thrown away from his life since he met Eric.

Unfortunately, Eric’s lips parted his and landed on his long and tempting neck, and nipping everywhere they got the

contact. He had no other way to choose except leaning his head more against the wall while offering more and more space for Eric’s

enjoyment and letting continuous groans out from his throat.

When Eric finally had to cease his feasting on his body after awhile, only then he realized that now he was trapped between the wall

and the body of Eric. He kept staring blankly at the face in front of him while normalizing his breathing back with difficulty.

Unconsciously starting to trail his finger along the features of the man who was also staring at him, the previous question returned

into his mind.

Had he ever had that man as his since the beginning?

Now, with the clearer mind, he found the answer…

To be honest, he had found out the answer since long long ago ….

He had been ignoring it …. Being a coward …

They were just playing a game …

They were never meant to be serious … at least Eric did not mean it …

He accepted it willingly, despite of knowing he had already lost before the game started.

He had already fallen way too deep and there was no way back …

Eric had never been his and would never be his …

He would only be left as one among numerous Eric’s love episodes in life after all this fake good times …

A drop of tear slipped away from his eye and at the same time, a ringtone playing started to spread around the room and while

putting back him onto the floor, but still letting him lean on his body, Eric fished out his phone and took the call.

All the scenes after this became blurry for him and the only memories left with him were a soft yet quick kiss on his lips and a faint

voice of Eric saying “I’m sorry”. After the sound of banging door, he found himself slipping along the wall and stunning in a heap on

the floor with the shirt with all buttons undone barely hanging on his body.

He felt numb although all the mixed feelings were running to and fro in his heart. He felt nothing but like a disposable thing that got

thrown away after using it.

His time with Eric was over now. Goodbye to all fake yet good times.  

He let out a dry chuckle, causing himself surprised for his ability to laugh at such time. But when he started to feel the wetness

running along his face, he realized he had been crying all this time.

Laughing and crying at the same time …

Maybe finally he had gone insane like he wished? …

But there was a stabbing pain inside his chest making him choked up and …

 There was also a name still echoing his mind …

Eric …

If he had gone insane, he should have lost that kind of painful memory, too …

So … it meant he was still sane even after all this ….

God was unfair …

Making him suffer that much and still wanting him to keep his sanity …

He wrapped his arms around his knees and sat in a fetal position against the cold wall. Still having the taste of Eric in his mouth, he

bit his already swollen lips hard enough to let the red liquid seep out in a short time spreading the ironic flavor all through his oral

cavity.  

Maybe when the morning came, would Eric come back?

With this thought, he tried to close his eyes and let himself drift into sleep. At least, if he was sleeping, he could be away from all

these pains for a moment.

He could forget Eric for a moment unless that man decided to invade his nightmares …

Please … Eric …