A/N: Thank you everyone who’s still reading this while knowing this is angst and have no happy ending… :D Please enjoy this update

too and if you leave some comments, thanks a million!

Bittersweet …

That was the best word to describe his feeling in these days.

Everything concerned with Eric …

Every time they shared a kiss …

Every night they ended up on a bed in the apartment of one of them …

Every morning he woke up beside Eric …

Every smile Eric put on …

Every sweet word Eric spilled out …

All were the same …

Bittersweet …

So sweet that he was addicted …. Yet so bitter that he wanted to escape …

He would be torn apart at the end of every single day …   

And then, he would decide again to give one more shot tomorrow …

He would indulge blindly his own heart to go on one more day … one more night …

He could feel all of Eric’s current attention was on him and him alone. He would visit his studio almost every day after work. He

would bring him to fancy restaurants or art galleries as dates. Then, he would bring him home back or sometimes take him to his own

luxurious penthouse and anyway, he would make him drown more and more in love.

All were like he was in heaven … in paradise … that he had dreamt of …

But …

The fact he knew surely that all of this would end one day and all he was enjoying were just fake and nothing more had been

stabbing his heart. One day in near future, Eric would shift his attention to the other one that was not him and give the same

treatment like this.

No more, no less.

Because he was merely one of many love stories that Eric Mun had.

One more day? One more week? Or One more month?

He was not sure when but he had already known it would be some time soon.

The problem with Eric was that he was not a total jerk. If he was just using him for pleasure and abusing him, his feelings on him

would surely run out after some time and be able to turn his back to him.

But Eric knew how to play the game.

He would make his heart flutter by surprise gifts and kisses. He would make him feel like he was the only one for him in this world by

his gazes and touches. He would make him melt by his sweet nothing directly whispered into his ear. He would make him feel safe by

wrapping his arms around him like he was a fragile glass doll. He would give him chances to sulk by his teases and playful remarks.

Literally, Eric was doing everything to make him feel real.

He was doing everything so right, frighteningly right.

He was doing everything to mislead him to false hopes.

Like a mirage in a desert …

Eric was making him hallucinated with the thoughts of possible streaks of being loved back.

Especially, at the moment, when he was being in Eric’s embrace; both leaning onto the front part of Eric’s convertible and watching

the sun sink under the golden lining between the sky and the sea.

Only after being grabbed by Eric in one late afternoon and thrown into his luxurious vehicle from his dull studio, he had been able to

catch up what was happening and at the next second he had realized, they had already been on the way to the beach.

Only with Eric’s reason of having a sudden desire to watch the sunset at the beach of December, they were now at the part of the

beach which was secluded due to the freezing weather. Eric had the sense enough to keep a blanket in his car and now it became a

useful item to keep them warm against cold sea breeze.

He could feel Eric’s calm heartbeat against his back and this made him calm somehow. The blanket was wrapped around them well by

Eric’s hands on which were his own hands but the real warmth he was receiving was not from the material called blanket.

It was from Eric’s body warmth and at the present moment, he did not want anything more but just Eric’s warm embrace.

Heaven was right in front of him and he did not care if it was temporary.

He knew himself he was being delusional again and making himself drown more and more until he could not come back.

But if he was gifted any power right now, he would wish just one thing.

Freeze the time and let them be forever like this.

Please let him be forever in Eric’s embrace.

He closed his eyes slowly and wished silently while tightening the grasp of his hands on Eric’s. Eric sensed his actions and lowered

his head down to his ear.

“Cold?”

He shook his head before opening his eyes again and turning his head back a little bit to catch Eric’s perfect side profile. The last

rays of sun rimmed his face and made him shimmer endlessly. The surrounding was getting dark since almost all parts of the sun were

already out of their sight and it made him more aware of their sweet time was getting near to the end.

He flashed a weak smile that caused a reflection on Eric’s face before getting a sweet touch on his lips with Eric’s. It lasted only a

second but he did not fail to close his eyes again, to feel solely on his lips.

Sweet yet electrifying.

Like those moments, he could swear he could sense the genuine feeling coming from Eric’s heart. Being delusional or not, he did not

care anymore. He would just remember that feeling and keep it in the deepest place of his heart, as a good memory from being with

Eric.

He could feel the clock was ticking, alarming him all the time. Seconds with Eric were decreasing and days with Eric were drifting

away. It was like a countdown for his cracked heart to get broken completely.

He felt a kiss landing on his locks of hair and then his neck.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Letting out an inaudible sigh, he automatically leaned his head to the other side, giving more space to Eric. Picking up his clue,

Eric’s lips went here and there on his neck and crook, leaving a warm sensation along the way. He tightened his hands on Eric when

he was grabbed by his chin gently to turn his face towards Eric.

In a few moments, Eric’s attention moved from his neck to his lips, caressing them so soft that he felt like he was melting in it. It

was not aggressive and passionate like most of the times, just enough to let Eric savor the taste of his lips.

He returned the kiss back with the same amount of tenderness and care, savoring every moment of the feeling of Eric’s lips on his

own ones since they would also be the memories which would go down in his lifetime journey.

He should get everything he could lay his hands on at the moment because he would lose them soon.

At this moment, just let him pretend like he was having the best time of his life.

Then, he felt a salty taste creeping into his mouth between their kiss. A few seconds later, Eric also seemed to notice that and

reluctantly let go of his lips, looking at his face properly again.

“Hyesung-ah … Why are you crying?”

Only at that time, he felt the wetness along his cheeks which was being dried by Eric’s hand.

He had been crying?

Maybe after all this time, his heart finally decided to explode?

Maybe finally his feelings started to overflow, bursting through his eyes?

Maybe his brain began to grasp the reality behind his cover of fake pleasures?

“It’s getting dark … Let’s go home …”

Finally, those words came and he just laughed out loud bitterly in his mind.

As usual, Eric decided to ignore his tears and let the question “Why?” pass again, being unanswered. Eric did not want to know the

reason behind those tears since he had already known what it was. Eric was the only person that could understand those tears in

this world and yet, he chose to act like he did not care. He pretended again like nothing had happened and he was the reason why

the other was drowning.

It was typical Eric.

The “Eric” who he loved blindly.

Being immersed in his thoughts, he realized only when he was brought into the car again by Eric who was now starting the engine to

turn their steps back into the urban life.

Another memory had come to an end again.

He kept staring the road in front of him, which seemed like there was no end at all.

Wishing there was no end at all.

Only if there was really no end of this road and they kept driving on and on until the infinity, would Eric be his forever?

His and his alone. No one else.

Scenes kept changing along the road and he felt it through the reflections on the window glass. The scene from far away seemed like

it would take forever to come but once it arrived, it would pass them so fast.

Memories with Eric were also like that.

They always came slowly but passed him so fast that he could not manage to grab them. They disappeared like they had never

happened and left him empty again.

Then, he felt Eric’s hand on his, just barely covering rather than holding properly. He glanced at the driver’s seat and saw Eric keep

his stare only on the road ahead of them. But there was a faint smile on his face, making him wonder again.

How many smiles were genuine and how many were fake?

Was there even a single genuine smile at all for him?

He did not want to blame him for fake smiles. He just wanted Eric to let him know which one was real since he wanted to capture in

his memory to keep him alive after all this long dream.

Staring at Eric’s face, he gradually noticed the scenes changing from trees and darkness to high buildings and neon lights.

They were back again in Seoul.

Not long after that, he felt the car stop and only then, he glanced outside, finding that they were in front of his apartment building.

“I have some work to take care tonight … so …”

He just nodded at Eric’s words, digesting the fact that he was having dinner alone tonight. Or there may be no dinner at all.

Eric grabbed him by his neck slowly and landed a soft peck on his forehead covered by his bangs. He closed his eyes again out of

instinct and then, he felt the lips leaving his forehead.

“Good night, Hyesung-ah ... Sleep tight …”

After those words, a few seconds later, Eric got out to open the door for him and it was kind of signal for him to get out of the car

too. Once he was outside of the car, he found himself again in Eric’s arms and he wrapped his arms around Eric’s waist instinctively.

“Good night, Eric …”

His whisper seemed to enter Eric’s ear and he received back a soft pat on his back.

Then, in front of his eyes, Eric got into his car again and after waving at him, he turned around the car and drove on, leaving him

alone in the cold and silent night.

Cold and silent night?

Could it be colder and more silent than Eric’s heart? He wondered.

Eric’s last words echoed in his mind endlessly.

“Sleep tight”?

He would be sleeping tight only if there was no dream.

No dream of Eric.

“So, do me a favor. Can you stay away from my dream tonight?”

He whispered into the air.

Pleas spare him a few hours of sleep to go back into the “him” before he met Eric ...