Chapter 61 - Hidden past

*RECAP*

Emotions started flowing inside me again…

How could I be okay? It’s not that simple!!!

I ended up yelling back at him, “I am not okay at all! I will never be okay anymore… Not anymore!!! That guy… He…He is just like that bastard who killed umma!”

(Myungsoo POV)

Huh?

What is she talking about?

Who killed her umma…?

I don’t understand…

She looked at me as she started to speak, “Myungsoo… he…he almost me… he… reminds me of…that bastard…my appa…” She stammered throughout the sentence.

My eyes widen, did she just said her appa her?

“I…I…can’t…”

I went forward to hug her again, “No… don’t say it anymore… don’t say those memories that are hurting you…don’t cry…” I patted her head which is against my chest.

She pulled away from me and shook her head as tears continued to fall from her cheeks.

“I have to say it… I…it’s killing me from inside… I tried so hard to forget them but now… it just came flooding me all over again…” She cried.

Seeing her like that makes me sad.

Kim Gigi, she has always been so strong...

I have never seen this side of her and now that I am seeing it, I didn’t know what to do.

All I can do was to hug her in my arms and rock her side to side, “I am here with you…Don’t be scared… I am here to listen…” I soothed her.

“My real name was actually Jessica Jung…It was after appa finally got arrested that I changed my name to Kim Gigi because I didn’t want to be reminded of him…”

Jessica Jung…

So, that was her real name…

“That’s a pretty name…” I whispered to her as she continued.

I was hugging her in my arms as she told me her past stories.

“Appa is a bastard…He abused umma and I everytime he is unhappy...It got worse after I got older…He took off our clothes and started to hit us… and even… …” Her voice trailed off at the last word.

I can’t believe her appa did such a horrible thing to her.

I shushed her as she continued to cry, “Its okay… don’t cry… it’s over now…”

She wiped away her tears and continued, “I…I…couldn’t do anything…He’s too strong…We endured…Tried to endure as much as we can…We didn’t want to put him into jail…But one day, we can’t take it anymore…He was drunk after work…An…and he…he…threaten us with a knife…He said if we do not have…s… with him, he would kill us…”

She was sniffing and tearing so much, “Gigi, if you don’t feel like saying, don’t say anymore… its okay…”

But she ignored me, “He…then took off umma’s clothes and torture her, right inront of me… I was so scared, I couldn’t do anything...I was only 14 years old...I could only cry. After doing that to umma, he dragged me towards him, I struggled…But it wasn’t helping…He stripped off my clothes… I was lying on the floor… He was touching me over and all I felt was pain all over me…I can’t do anything… all I can do was to cry…”

… I don’t even feel like listening anymore!

I feel like killing that bastard that she claimed was her appa!

How can a father possibly do something this cruel and nasty to his daughter…

Then I thought of the incident just now… I looked at Gigi who was crying… no wonder she freaked out… it reminded her of that incident…

I don’t want her to continue anymore, she is crying so bady and the sight is hurting me as well.

But, thinking that saying them out may make her feel better, I didn’t stop her.

“Umma tried to help me…but…but…appa pushed her…and…and…she hit the wall…and…blood…umma died because of me…”

She paused again as she cried even harder at the mention of her umma.

She must have think that she is the cause of her umma’s death…

I wanted to comfort her but she continued, “I can…only lie there on the ground helplessly and watched her die…that bastard… even knowing umma may possibly d