Testing waters... hehe

Short update ^_^

|| Chapter Two ||

I thought I’d be okay after Jiyong hugged me. It’s been days since that interaction... But it seems like I just went back to my old self. He confused me so much. And when we went our separate ways after that day, I became worst. I don’t know if it’s because I was craving for him more but all I knew was his actions made me confused. I should be happy, shouldn’t I? But why do I feel sad rather than happy?

“Unnie, dinner’s ready,” Durami, my youngest sibling, said behind my door.

“I’m coming,” I replied to her.

I sighed and looked at my newly made cuts on my thighs. I didn’t do it on my wrists because I knew the girls would check it. I know I promised... But I couldn’t help it. I just went for it because there were too many thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t sleep... I couldn’t be myself. I cried for hours. And I didn’t understand why. And when I used the blade and marked myself once again, I felt sane. I felt contented.

I stood up from my bed and quickly put my jeans and a t-shirt since I would be leaving the house later on because of work. You see, I work day and night... full time job at a clothing store at the mall during the day and convenience store during the night. People around me are calling me Wonder Woman for I work so much. But I like working, it doesn’t make me feel alone and sometimes, it just makes me forget about my problems at home.

My parents aren’t perfect – I don’t need them to be. But I guess it’s just I wanted to see love.

We were perfect; my whole family was perfect and happy. However along the lines, everything just broke apart. I’m not quite sure if my younger siblings were aware of my parent’s situation, but I hope they weren’t. I don’t want them to become a up like me.

My parents aren’t in love. I never actually witnessed love. I guess that’s why I was possessive over Jiyong – I didn’t want him to leave me. I didn’t want him to lose his love for me. But I guess, it was for the best to lose him. This may be my destiny; not knowing love at all.

I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen to see my younger siblings gathered around the dining table. I sighed; it was the usual scene. It would only be the three of us eating at the dining table since my parents would do their best to avoid each other; even avoiding their children in the process.

I sat in my seat beside Durami and I couldn’t help but notice the new bruises that were starting to show on Sanghyun’s face.

“What happened there?” I asked him.

“Not