Hoya felt like a coward; sitting in the front seat of his car with the garage door closed for far longer than what could be considered a decent amount of time. If things were normal, he would’ve been out of the car in seconds, rushing inside to give his husband a kiss and to hug his son close.

But things hadn’t been normal for a long time.

Hoya had been subconsciously wishing that things would just get easier… that somehow the emptiness in his heart will begin to fill with the help of time. But if anything it only got worse. It was as if he couldn’t escape the glaring absence of Sooyong; everything felt wrong without him in Hoya’s life. He hadn’t realized just how much of his universe revolved around that little boy until his sudden departure. Now his entire life was off its axis, and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be quite the same again.

But he couldn’t hide from the truth; in fact he was doing his best to accept it. Sooyong was just… gone. His son had been taken away, and no amount of praying for a miracle or wishing things could be different would alter the end result. It was devastating, and it was cruel, but it was the truth; he would never get the chance to hold his little boy in his arms again.

He pulled his keys out of the ignition, walking into what used to be his happy place, his home, with a heavy heart. He entered into the house with slowed steps, the door’s resounding thud feeling heavy in the silence.

Moving into the living room, he wasn’t surprised to see Dongwoo sitting on the couch with his face buried in a file. It was where the blonde was every night, pouring over various legal documents splattered across the coffee table as he desperately tried to find some sort of miracle solution that would bring Sooyong back home.

Hoya didn’t believe in miracles anymore, and he just didn’t have it in him to pretend for Dongwoo’s sake. Not after everything that had happened.

“Hey.” The blonde managed to inject some cheerfulness in his voice. “Glad you’re home.” He tilted his chin up in a telltale gesture, one that Hoya knew meant that he was expecting a kiss. Hoya obliged him, just a quick press of lips on Dongwoo’s cheek before he was muttering an excuse to escape the situation. He did feel guilty, especially when he saw the knowing look in his husband’s eyes.

Disappointment.

It seemed to be the running theme of his life these days. He was a disappointment as a husband, a total failure as a father. If he was worthy of Sooyong, he would’ve been able to hold onto to him. Dongwoo had always looked to him to be the leader in their relationship, to bring that stability and confidence to survive any curveballs that life threw at them. But this was one storm that Hoya couldn’t weather and each time he looked into Dongwoo’s tired eyes, glanced at the empty spot in their bedroom where Sooyong used to sleep so sweetly, he felt like a level of shame that he couldn’t endure.

He was a coward; plain and simple. He knew it was a fruitless endeavor to try to run away from the reality of his situation, to try and ignore the glaring hole that was left in Sooyong’s absence. He could feel his heart getting colder, every single day without his little boy stealing the light inside of him piece by piece. He knew that one day he wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade; that the weight of his grief would cause him to evitable crash with devastating consequences.

But after losing Sooyong, what could possible be worse?

“Hoya.” Dongwoo was now standing in front of him. Hoya had gotten lost in his head for a moment, losing track of time until Dongwoo’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. The blonde touched his cheek, trying to coax him into some sort of conversation that he was sure he couldn’t bear. “I wanted to show you-”

“I’m going to go take a shower.” Hoya cut him off, quickly stepping back to put some distance between them. Dongwoo did his best to try to mask the hurt in his eyes, but Hoya could see through it.

“How about I join you?” The blonde tried to keep his voice even, doing his best to try and hide the desperation he felt. “It’s been awhile since we’ve-”

“It’s been a long day.” Hoya started, his voice growing quieter. He didn’t want to have to reject his husband, he didn’t want to hurt Dongwoo that way, but he also couldn’t even think about being intimate with someone when he could barely look at himself in the mirror.

“You’re right.” Dongwoo tried to smile, letting go of Hoya’s cheek to settle back down on the couch. “I’m in the middle of doing research for the case, and I think I found a good lead. I wouldn’t want to get distracted.”

Hoya nodded, grateful that his husband hadn’t pushed the matter. He retreated upstairs, stripping off his scrubs and throwing them into the laundry haphazardly. He twisted the faucet to the far left, the heat of the water borderline uncomfortable. But when he was standing underneath the showerhead, the hot water striking against his skin like little bullets and the steam so heavy that it weighed down the air, Hoya felt like he could finally disappear. Just close his eyes for a few short minutes, just forget about all of the pain and suffering and loneliness that was waiting for him in the real world.

He stood there underneath the spray for way longer than he should have, his skin red and angry by the time he switched the water off. His hands moved on autopilot, slowly dragging across his body with a towel to dry himself off. His eyes moved on instinct towards the side of the bed, searching for something, someone he knew would never again be there.

Sometimes he wondered what he wrongs he committed to ever deserve a living hell like this. He thought he was a good person, that he was making a difference in this world through his work at the hospital, but apparently he had been wrong. He thought back to the words his father had spoken to him when he announced his engagement; God does not reward those who live in sin.

At the time Hoya had thought it was just bull, the typical homophobic comments that he had grown to associate with his father over the years of living in his conservative household. But now… was losing Sooyong the price he had to pay for loving Dongwoo? Before the adoption, he had always believed that it was impossible to have a family and a husband. He had made himself give up on any fantasies of being a father. But then Sooyong happened and then he had dared to hope… had dared to dream of a happy ending for the three of them.

Maybe a part of him had always known it wasn’t meant to last, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

He tried to shake off the lingering shame, deciding it was easier to blame the chill in the air for the sense of dread he felt than to continue to examine his inner thoughts. He dropped the towel to the floor, reaching into his drawer for a fresh set of clothes when the door to the bedroom opened.

“Oh! Sorry!” Dongwoo turned his head away from Hoya’s body, and for a brief moment Hoya almost felt like laughing. It was silly, the idea of his husband invading his privacy, the idea of being ashamed to be vulnerable with him after all they had shared together and yet, here he was; covering himself up as he desperately wished for the awkwardness to dissipate.

Dongwoo’s eyes flickered towards him, their gaze holding for a split second before the blonde turned his back completely. “Sorry I didn’t knock.”

“It’s your bedroom.” Hoya reminded him, but the words felt hollow even to his own ears.

“I know that, it’s just.” Dongwoo shook his head, his hand running through his hair nervously. “I figured you would be done with your shower by now. You’ve been up here for a while.” Hoya offered no comment on the matter, so after a few seconds of weighted silence Dongwoo soldiered on. “I just came up to tell you dinner’s ready. Nothing fancy, just spaghetti.”

“I’m not really-”

“Howon.” Dongwoo cut him off, his voice unforgiving. “I’m not asking you to jump off a bridge. Just come have dinner with me. I know you haven’t ate tonight, you had back to back procedures and you’ve been on your feet all day.”

“How did you know that?” Hoya asked confused, knowing that he hadn’t mentioned any specifics of his schedule to his husband in quite some time.

“Because it’s important for me to know about my husband’s life. Because I still care.” With that Dongwoo walked away, not bothering to wait for Hoya’s response.

Hoya dressed silently, the guilt feeling that much heavier after Dongwoo’s admission. It was so obvious that Dongwoo was still trying, and that he was not.

It surprised him; each day that he thought he couldn’t get lower, that he couldn’t possibly despise himself more, life had a way of showing him how truly foolish he was.

He trudged down the stairs, joining Dongwoo at the dining room table where a plate was already waiting for him. His eyes caught on an open package on the island, and Dongwoo noticed his curiosity.

“It just came today; it’s from my sister.” He paused, his voice getting quieter as Hoya got closer. “It’s a tiger costume; for Sooyong. She sent a note, wanted us to take a picture of Sooyong in it with his favorite plushie. I don’t know, I guess she had already sent it off before she heard the news.”

Hoya bit his lip, the anger in the pit of his stomach threatening to swallow him whole. He looked down at the tiny outfit, the orange and black stripes and the cute little ears on the onesie. It would have been adorable. Sooyong would have loved it. But that didn’t exactly matter now. He grabbed the box, making his way to the trash can.

“Hoya, don’t-”

“Why? It’s useless now!”

Dongwoo grabbed the box from him protectively, setting it out of the brunette’s reach. “No it’s not. I contacted Sungjong; he’s going to come by sometime this week to pick it up. He’ll make sure it gets to Areum before the holiday.”

Hoya scoffed, crossing his arms. “Why is it so easy for you to just get rid of him?”

Dongwoo took a step back, his husband’s words making him falter. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve already given her everything! Sooyong’s toys, his clothes, our son himself!” Hoya’s voice hit Dongwoo like a blow, the smaller man physically shrinking. The doctor sighed, rubbing his temple as he tried to walk back his comment. “I didn’t mean that-”

“Yeah. You did.” Dongwoo turned away, returning to his seat with a stormy look on his face. “You know, sometimes I think you forget that he was my son too. It sure as hell wasn’t easy to let him go, but at least I’m trying to get him back. Can you say the same?”

Hoya sighed, covering his face with his hands. “Dongwoo, do you really want to have this argument again? It’s a waste of time-”

“Well, we both know you’re the expert on that these days. Eat your dinner before it gets cold.” Dongwoo moved back to the kitchen table and picked up his utensils, effectively ending the conversation.

Hoya followed suit, chewing the food dutifully, not even tasting it but going through the motions for Dongwoo’s sake. His words had been too harsh earlier, and they both knew it. He resolved himself to try to make it through dinner without another blow up, it was the least he could do for his husband. He could feel the weight of the blonde’s eyes on him from across the table, but he kept his gaze down.

He was about halfway through his plate when the distinctive sound of Dongwoo’s laughter reached his ears. He glanced up confused, looking over at his husband to find him trying to cover his mouth but failing to suppress the sound of his giggles.

“I’m sorry.” Dongwoo squeaked out, but that only seemed to make him laugh harder. Hoya was more than a little concerned; he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard his husband laugh, and nothing was happening around them to warrant this kind of reaction. A part of him registered how wrong that idea was; Dongwoo was always the joy in any situation, his laughter easygoing and free spirited. He could always make Hoya feel happy. Or at least that’s how it used to be before all of… this.

“I’m sorry.” Dongwoo repeated, trying to regain his breath. “It’s just… life is so… unpredictable. I mean, do you remember the last time we were sitting together at this table eating this meal? You literally were spaghetti sauce off of my body. You literally ed me on top of this table but now? You won’t even look at me.”

Hoya dropped his fork, the breath stolen out of his chest as he watched his husband start to crumble under the weight of his incompetence. Dongwoo continued to laugh, becoming hysterical, the sound a distorted mockery of happiness to Hoya’s ears.

“I mean, isn’t that hilarious to you? It’s funny! It’s okay, you can laugh. You have to laugh, because is you don’t, the only thing you can do is cry.” At the mention of the word, the laughter faded away, the sounds of sobs taking over as tears started to fall down Dongwoo’s face. “And if you start crying, you’ll never stop.”

“Dongwoo… I’m sorry-”

“You aren’t though. You aren’t even here.” Dongwoo accused him, his eyes narrowing. “How could you leave me alone when I need you the most? I’m doing everything I can to get our life back, to help build this case so we can bring Sooyong home-”

Hoya snapped at the mention of his name, jumping to his feet. “Because we are never going to bring him home Dongwoo! Because I can’t lie to myself like you!”

“So what? You’re just going to give up without a fight? Hoya, we are his parents. We love him and the courts will see that, we could get custody-”

Hoya shook his head, the argument that he had been trying his hardest to avoid now rearing its ugly head. Again. “We will never get custody. At the end of the day, the only thing the judge will see is two gay men who are delusional enough to think they can steal a baby from his mother. Who were stupid enough to actually believe they deserved to be parents.”

Dongwoo looked stricken, as if Hoya’s words had been a personal attack. “Is that really what you think of us?”

Hoya sighed, unable to sugarcoat it any longer. “We have no biological ties to him. No matter how much you wish he was ours, he isn’t. I can’t lie to myself, I can’t live my life hoping for a miracle that I know will never happen.”

“You call this living?” Dongwoo laughed humorlessly. “Hoya, you are a shell of yourself. You don’t talk, you don’t smile, you don’t do anything but work!”

“Because that’s the one place I know I can be useful! Where I know my efforts will actually matter!”

“And what about us? Huh?!” Dongwoo yelled, stepping closer. “What about our marriage?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Dongwoo wiped his tears, his voice cracking. “But it is. You haven’t put in one ounce of effort since the day Sooyong left. Whether it was your intention or not, that’s what happened.” His face split into a broken smile. “Losing Sooyong so unexpectedly… having him ripped away from me in the blink of an eye was hell. But losing you? Watching pieces of you disappear right in front of my eyes each day…” Dongwoo pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself. “This is worse.”

“Dongwoo.” Hoya whispered, his heart aching at the pain he was making his husband feel. He had never stopped to think that in destroying himself, he would drag Dongwoo down with him. He hadn’t realized that he was capable of being so cruel. “Baby, please-”

“Don’t. Not now.” Dongwoo moved away, stubbornly trying to dry his face with one hand while the other searched for his car keys. “I’m leaving. I would tell you not to stop me but… I’m not even sure you would try.”

“You’re upset. You shouldn’t be on the road like this, you could get hurt-”

Dongwoo turned around to look at him, his eyes heartbreakingly honest. “I’m already hurt, Hoya. I’m used to it. You don’t have to start pretending to care about it now.”

Hoya stood in the kitchen motionless as Dongwoo left the house, his mind a wreck. He was about to lose everything, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Sungyeol’s initial reaction was that getting together to watch movies on a Monday would be a not-so-stellar idea. Actually, he thought it would be bad. A bad idea. Because although Mondays were boring and did need some excitement, watching movies like it was a Friday didn’t seem like a good idea for his or Myungsoo’s sleep schedule. But then Jiseon was added into the equation and somehow it worked from there.

So as Sungyeol studied the eyes of his daughter - which were transfixed on the movie in front of her - he couldn’t help but just feel happy. And who cared if it was Monday so long as Jiseon was sitting so attentively in Myungsoo’s lap like she was.

“Mr. Myungsoo!” Jiseon exclaimed. “Hara just-! She just captured Arrietty’s mom!”

Myungsoo nodded softly, his chin placed on Jiseon’s shoulder as they watched together. “Isn’t that old lady scary! She looks like an angry giant.”

“Why did she take her?” Jiseon asked, her eyes wide.

“Because,” Myungsoo explained, “she thinks the Borrowers stole parts from the dollhouse. And she wants to prove to people she’s not crazy. But I think she’s crazy,” he ended with a playful whisper. “Don’t worry - Shawn and Arrietty will rescue her.”

Sungyeol smacked his shoulder. “Spoilers! We haven’t seen this movie, mind you.”

Myungsoo cast him a playful glance and snickered. “Oh right, sorry about that.”

They both turned their attention back to the animation on the screen and delighted in Jiseon’s curiosity in it. She watched the movie with such a keen and wondrous gaze, it made Sungyeol wonder why he had never seen these types of movies with her before. These movies were so whimsical and child-like while still gently handling delicate themes at times. Of course, Jiseon couldn’t understand all the undertones from Princess Mononoke, but she did seem much more immersed with The Secret World of Arrietty at this moment. It made Sungyeol smile because there was something about these movies that really shouted Myungsoo and it made Sungyeol want to binge watch them all.

“Oh! Arrietty got her mom back!” Jiseon exclaimed gleefully. “You were right!” she told Myungsoo.

Myungsoo tickled her sides. “Of course I was right!” he laughed. “Did you doubt me?”

Sungyeol smiled as he watched her burst into that fit of giggles that he was so familiar with. It was so different watching her in Myungsoo’s arms. There was almost as much affection from her, as if she was with her uncles. Arguably, she it could have rivalled the affection she had for her own father. But Sungyeol wasn’t worried, he would always be the best man in Jiseon’s little heart.

They were nearing the end of the movie now and Sungyeol felt so warm next to Myungsoo and Jiseon. His head rested on Myungsoo’s shoulder and he reached to Jiseon’s hair from time to time. It felt warm and comfortable to sit like this -- as if they were their own little family. It had never really occurred to Sungyeol that he wanted something like this. It had been just him and Jiseon for so many years that he never really imagined a third person coming into the picture. Of course he had entertained the notion of dating but never had he really thought of expanding his family.

Sungyeol shook his head -- he couldn’t assume that he and Myungsoo were going to be married or anything. There were no permanent commitments quite yet. But if this was how it might turn out in a couple years for him… well, Sungyeol wasn’t going to complain.

Myungsoo turned his head to glance at him briefly, a light smile adorning his face. He reached up his free hand to touch Sungyeol’s head gently. Sungyeol smiled at the touch and sank closer into the crevice of Myungsoo’s neck. He felt warm there.

The movie ended soon after, Jiseon’s big eyes filling with sparkles as she watched Shawn and Arrietty separate. The movie closed after a few words of narration from Shawn and then faded into the credits.

“Wow,” she sighed, her hands waving from excitement. “That was so good! Can we watch another one?”

Myungsoo chuckled as he stood up from the couch with Jiseon in his arms. “As much fun as that would be,” he said, “it’s about time you go to bed.”

Jiseon pouted and whined, “No, I want to stay up and watch another movie with you and daddy!”

“Sorry princess,” Myungsoo winked and Sungyeol felt a little surge in his heart as Myungsoo used the pet name. “But I promised your dad we’d only watch one movie for the sake of you waking up tomorrow.”

“Mr. Myungsoo!”

“That was the deal!” Myungsoo matched glances with Sungyeol and said, “I’ll be back after putting this munchkin to bed.”

Sungyeol raised his eyebrow. “Wow, all by yourself? Sure you can handle that?” he teased.

“Of course I can,” Myungsoo replied confidently with a smug grin.

Jiseon wriggled out of his arms and onto the ground as she grasped onto the hem of his shirt, tugging whole heartedly. “Mr. Myungsoo,” she sang, “can’t I watch just one more movie? Even just half is okay!”

Sungyeol smiled inwardly because he knew this trick. He knew this very specific pout that Jiseon did all too well as he had been on the receiving end of it one too many times. He had fallen for it an embarrassing number of times for a father but he has learned how to resist it.

Myungsoo laughed and bent down in front of her to pat her head tenderly. “I’d love to but you need your beauty sleep. So let’s go get ready for bed, hm?”

Jiseon sighed in defeat and took his hand into hers. They walked down the hallway together and Sungyeol had to admit that he was impressed. It took an iron resolve to be able to resist Jiseon’s pouting so quickly and Myungsoo had done it without even blinking once. It was quite a feat.

The two came back later for Jiseon to say goodnight to Sungyeol and Sungyeol gave her a big tight hug and a wet kiss on the forehead before sending her off to sleep. He and Myungsoo were alone after that.

“You’re pretty impressive,” he told Myungsoo when he came back.

Myungsoo smiled at him as he sat down. “Why? What for?”

“Resisting Jiseon like that,” Sungyeol said, scooting closer. “Do you know how many times I’ve lost to that pout?”

“Oh!” Myungsoo let out a big laugh, his eyes smiling. “I’ll be honest, my strength almost wavered for a second back there,” he joked. “I had to look everywhere but her eyes.”

Sungyeol laughed himself. “The eyes will get you! Those big brown eyes don’t ever stop sparkling when she wants something.”

Myungsoo looked at him warmly. “Maybe that’s something she gets from her dad?”

“Me?” Sungyeol repeated with a chuckle, taken back slightly.

“Yeah. She had to learn that big eyed pout from somewhere,” Myungsoo teased. “And I wouldn’t be surprised since you won me over with the same look in your eyes.”

“Please, it was you who won me over,” Sungyeol said softly with a shy smile. “You know, I really am impressed though. Jiseon really loves you like you’re already… part of the family, or something. It’s really sweet to see. I’ve never seen her warm up to someone this quickly before.” He grinned. “Heck, it even took Minho a bit more time to get her to love him so much. But here you are, doing it effortlessly and… I don’t know, it just warms my heart.”

Myungsoo put an arm around his boyfriend, pulling him close. “It’s not just me,” he said definitively. “Jiseon’s got such a big heart to match those big eyes. She’s done just as good of a job accepting me as I have done of getting to know her. She’s such a sweet girl, Sungyeol, you raised her well. And I can tell she’s gotten to like me so fast because I’m important to you. And she can definitely sense that.”

They sat there together, just warming up each other’s embrace. But truthfully, it was their words that were keeping each other warm on the inside. The air around them was light with affection as they held on to each other for who knew how long. It was minutes before Sungyeol spoke up again slowly.

“You know,” he began. “There is without a doubt in my mind that Jiseon is one of if not the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But… I think you’re the best thing to happen to us.”

It takes a lot for Myungsoo not to break his face with how large his grin is after that.

Dongwoo shifted his weight back and forth, unable to stand still after finally building up the courage to knock on the door. It was late, and quite frankly it was beyond inappropriate for him to come here of all places. But he was a mess and he needed someone, and right now he was feeling reckless enough to not care about the consequences.

The door opened, revealing a disheveled but beautiful man, his eyes widening after seeing the blonde on his porch. “Dongwoo?”

“Are you alone?”

His eyebrows pinched. “Yes, but-”

“I know I shouldn’t be here but… Woohyun.” Dongwoo reached out for his hand, holding it tightly. “Please. I need you.”

Woohyun nodded, pulling him into an embrace and his hand rubbing down his back to soothe the smaller man as he started to tear up. “I’m here for you. There’s no need to be upset.”

“I have every reason in the world to be upset.”

“Not in this moment. Right now you just get to come inside, relax, and forget. That’s why you came to see me, isn’t it?” Woohyun asked inquisitively, his eyes flickering over the other’s face.

Dongwoo nodded, stepping past the threshold without looking back. Woohyun closed the door behind them, the lock clicking loudly in the silence of the room.

“Sorry about all of this.” He gestured to himself and Dongwoo looked him over. His dark hair was messy but still somehow attractive, and he was wearing a loose fitting white v-neck and a pair of dark black pajama pants. “I wasn’t exactly expecting a visitor so…”

“You always look great.” Dongwoo told him honestly, but he didn’t let his eyes linger.

Woohyun smirked, his hands pushing into his pockets as he regarded the other man. “I know you’re honest enough to not have said that sarcastically, so thanks. Would you like something to drink?”

“Vodka. Tequila. Wine. Anything to make this night feel less painful.” Dongwoo rattled off.

“All at once? I seem to recall you being kind of a light weight.” Woohyun’s mouth pulled into a smile, the teasing tone in his voice unmistakable.
 

Dongwoo sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re right. Ignore me. I’m just being stupid. I brought my car here so I can’t exactly drink and drive.”

“You don’t have to drive.” Woohyun interjected, already moving towards his liquor cabinet.

“Then how would I get home?” Dongwoo inquired.

“Who said anything about you going home?” Woohyun poured the first drink, his eyes never leaving Dongwoo’s as he gauged his response.

“Woohyun… I- I’m not sure that Sunggyu would feel happy about that.”

The dark haired man chuckled, folding his arms. “Interesting that you mention Sunggyu, who isn’t even in an exclusive relationship with me, instead of your own husband.”

Dongwoo blushed, suddenly feeling exposed. “I didn’t mean to make assumptions-”

Woohyun decided to cut him off before he descended into an unnecessary apology. “Listen; you wanted to come here tonight Dongwoo. It’s already late and I have more than enough space to accommodate you. I told you back when we started this thing that I would be available to you at any time, day or night. I meant it when I said that I’m here for you, whatever you need.”

“Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me right now.”

Woohyun guided them over to the couch, placing a glass in front of Dongwoo as he sipped on his own. The blonde eyed it warily, trying to decipher its contents. “What is it?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“You’re a lawyer.”

“I’m your lawyer. Which means that you should trust me to always serve you in your best interests.”

“You do realize that I remember freshman year, right? I don’t think I will ever be able to truly erase the taste of Everclear trash can punch thanks to you.” Dongwoo reminisced, his face twisting into a pout.

“Hey, in my defense I was young and foolish then. But all of my choices weren’t so bad.” He looked at Dongwoo meaningfully. The blonde took a sip of his drink, his face feeling warm as the liquor burned down his throat.

“So.” Woohyun transitioned purposely, the glint in his eyes letting Dongwoo know he was about to be interrogated. “I’ve been meaning to ask and since you arrived all unannounced and everything… I figure you can give me an explanation. Why didn’t you tell Hoya about us?”

Dongwoo decided to try and save face. “What makes you think I didn’t?”

Woohyun stood up to refill their drinks, making his way back over with a swagger in his step. “Oh, I don’t know. Hoya seems like a pretty level headed guy, but something tells me he wouldn’t have been so friendly if he knew we were lovers.”

Dongwoo rolled his eyes, taking the offered drink and knocking it back. “Lovers is a bit much; we don’t exactly have a past Woohyun.”

“Oh, please enlighten me to your version of history then.”

Dongwoo laughed, looking at him incredulously. “You were busy with law school and I was something to take the edge off every now and then. We never even went on a proper date. There was a lot of sure, but that’s all it was. You were never the type of guy that wanted forever.”

“And yet you still got involved with me.”

“Because you were hot; and at the time I wasn’t exactly looking for forever either. I was fighting with my best friend, dealing with the transition of moving away from home, and you were a welcome distraction.”

“Ouch. Why don’t you twist the knife a little harder?”

The blonde shook his head. “Don’t be dramatic; you weren’t exactly pining over me either. I’ll admit that I was surprised when you turned out to be the lawyer that Sunggyu was messing around with, and even more still when Hoya asked you to be our adoption lawyer. I didn’t have a problem with it because you’re good at your job.” He paused for effect. “But relationships? Not so much.”

Woohyun laughed, amused by the little joke. “Since when did you become such a tease?”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black.”

“You just don’t strike me as the type to keep secrets.” Woohyun shrugged his shoulders, relaxing back into the couch cushions. “If I was so unimportant, then why hide it from your husband?”

“Because it wasn’t relevant. Because I love him and a fling from the past was never going to jeopardize what I feel for him.”

“So what changed?”

Dongwoo glared at him. “What makes you think something has?”

“Dongwoo, you’re the one who showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. If things were solid between the two of you, you wouldn’t be here.”

The blonde stood up angrily. “This might shock you Woohyun, but I’m not 19 years old anymore and I don’t spread my legs for you whenever you decide you are bored enough to want to pay me attention.”

“Okay. Whoa. Calm down.” Woohyun threw his hands up in a peaceful gesture. “Not at all what I was implying. Or expecting for that matter.”

“I made vows, Woohyun. I’m a married man and that isn’t something to be taken lightly.” Dongwoo his lips, trying to calm his jumbled thoughts. “I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Who exactly are you trying to convince right now?” Woohyun moved closer, his hand resting on Dongwoo’s shoulder.

“I-” Dongwoo stopped, looking at Woohyun honestly. “I don’t know.”

Woohyun looked at the man before him, and he saw how truly broken he was. He knew that he had to do the right thing. The two of them had their fun back in the day, but they were in different places now. He appreciated Dongwoo as a friend, and he was committed to helping him get his son back. He knew it wouldn’t be in either or their best interests to do something they would both regret.

“Look Dongwoo; I’m sorry. I was just playing with you earlier. You know I’ve always been a flirt. But I didn’t mean to push you like that. You’re right; you are married and regardless of my situation, I should always respect yours. I don’t want to ever take advantage of you. Yeah, we might have fooled around in the past but we’re adults now and I’d like to believe that we are friends.”

“We are Woohyun. I didn’t come here tonight with those kind of intentions. Honestly I just… I needed a friend. Some company that wasn’t legal briefs or case research. I’ve just been so… lonely lately. Losing Sooyong has been… devastating in ways I could have never imagined.”

“Losing a child puts a strain on even the strongest people Dongwoo. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know that. It’s just… I can’t really talk to Sungyeol because he’s finally found his happiness. He’s got this great new guy and he’s just on cloud nine. I know if I told him how I was truly feeling he would drop everything to spend all his time on me, and that’s not fair.”

Woohyun shrugged. “But he’s your best friend. Maybe that’s what he would want.”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s waited… years for a guy like Myungsoo to come into his life and I refuse to bring him down. I just… need someone to listen to me every now and then. Convince me that I’m not truly in this thing alone. Maybe it’s awkward because of our past, maybe you don’t even care that much, maybe you just wish I would shut up so you could fall asleep-”

“No way. I told you you’re welcome here so I want you to feel comfortable. Go ahead and unload all of your burdens on me, I’m ready.” Woohyun smiled warmly at him.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Woohyun assured him, waiting patiently for the other man to start.

“I guess… when we lost Sooyong, I was determined to do everything in my power to ensure that it wouldn’t be permanent. I called you immediately, asked you to start looking into filing for custody. I thought that Hoya would be on board but… every time I try to talk to him about the case, he just shuts down. It’s like… losing our son hurt him in a way that he can’t recover from. In his mind the case is a waste of time because he doesn’t think we can win. But how will we know if we don’t try?! If we do nothing, then there’s no chance of success! We owe it to ourselves, we owe it to Sooyong to try and get him back.”

“I told you from the beginning that I would be honest about our chances. It will be tough, but it’s not hopeless. You both cared from Sooyong from birth, you were loyal and loving parents to him every day that he was in your care. Your social worker backs you, one hundred percent. The birth mother doesn’t have the same track record, so we have a leg to stand on with the judge. It’s going to take time, but I’m sure we’ll get our day in court.” Woohyun did his best to keep Dongwoo optimistic about his family’s situation.

“I know we will. But now… I just never imagined a reality where I was scared of losing my marriage. Hoya has always known exactly what to say, exactly what to do to make me feel safe and secure and loved. And suddenly, all of that confidence I had in our relationship is gone. I’m not even sure if he loves me anymore.”

“He loves you.”

“But how do you-”

“Dongwoo.” Woohyun cut him off. “He loves you. Maybe he’s been distant. Maybe you’ve drifted apart. But trust me when I say it has nothing to do with you. He’s grieving and the reality is that everyone deals with loss differently. I’m not saying that what he’s doing is right or that it’s even fair but… you’ve done nothing wrong that would make him stop loving you. These next few months will probably be the toughest ones in your marriage. But if you make it through, you’ll only come out stronger on the other side.”

“I just…” Dongwoo hunched over, his head in his hands. “I just wish I knew what to do. What to say. How to connect with him. Everytime I try and he doesn’t reciprocate, it just gets that much harder and it hurts that much more.”

“So you guys haven’t been… connecting?”

Dongwoo buried his face in his hands, clearly embarrassed. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“I’m not making you say anything. I’m just your sounding board, that’s it.”

The blonde leaned back into the couch, staying up at the ceiling helplessly. “Fine. Me and Hoya haven’t had since the night we lost Sooyong. We’ve barely even kissed.”

“Wow.” Dongwoo smacked his arm, and Woohyun scooted a safer distance away. “Hey! I didn’t mean that in a rude way. I’m just… surprised. I remember you having quite the… um, appetite.”

Dongwoo’s cheeks flamed red. “Stop it. Let me leave here with some shred of my dignity. It’s not exactly flattering to admit to you of all people that my husband isn’t attracted to me in that way anymore.”

“Dongwoo, there’s no way in hell that’s true. You’re gorgeous. He wanted you badly enough to put a ring on your finger and swear off all other men for the rest of his life. I mean, I clearly think his priorities are ed up right now to neglect someone like you; I know some of my memories are hazy from the alcohol but if I remember correctly you were quite the firecracker-”

Dongwoo leaned over to punch him again, but he wasn’t truly angry. “Stop thinking about me ually. Friends don’t think about friends ually.”

“Let the record show that you were the one to bring up .”

“You’re such a lawyer.” Dongwoo complained again, but Woohyun just smiled cheekily at him.

“You introduced the topic because you want validation, so here you go. Yes, you are attractive. Yes, you are still desirable. Yes, one day Hoya will stop being an idiot and screw you senseless on the nearest flat surface.” Woohyun stopped, his eyes suddenly going thoughtful. “What’s he like anyway? I imagine he’d be good.”

“We are so not talking about that.”

“Obviously you guys switch it up now and then, but he really strikes me as a top.”

“Woohyun!”

“Why not? I’ll tell you about Sunggyu if you dish on Hoya.”

Dongwoo made a shocked face, but he was unable to stop his laughter. “Okay, if there is one thing that I’m sure of, it is that I do not want any images or thoughts in my brain about the Chief having .”

“Oh, don’t give me that. I know you’re married, but you aren’t immune to other men’s charms. Admit it; he’s hot as .”

Dongwoo sipped from his glass, incapable of hiding his smile. “Fine; I’ll admit it.”

“Yes!” Woohyun cheered, lifting his glass in his excitement. “I know he has that whole I’m the boss, I’m in charge thing going on at work, and you better believe that he brings it home with him. Not that I’m complaining in the least.”

“This is too much information.”

“I haven’t even got to our roleplay adventures yet. He’s the witness for the prosecution and I get to badger him on the stand, if you know what I mean.” He wiggled his eyebrows lewdly. “Sometimes he even pretends to be the criminal and I get to be the officer. We’re spontaneous like that.”

“Nope. Nope, nope, nope.” Dongwoo chanted, playfully covering his ears. “Please for my sanity, change the subject. I will officially never be able to focus at work again if I’m thinking about the Chief wearing a orange jumpsuit for y reasons.”

“I didn’t mention anything about costumes; but now that you bring it up-” He abruptly stopped when he saw the look on Dongwoo’s face go from playful to sad. “What? Did I go too far again?”

“No, no. It’s not your fault.” Dongwoo said softly. “It’s just that costumes…” He trailed off, all of the joy that had been in his eyes disappearing in a flash. Woohyun leaned forward, touching his knee to try to prompt him to continue.

“What happened?”

“It’s silly but… me and Hoya fought over that before I came here. I had one for Sooyong and I wasn’t sure if we were going to get him back before Halloween so I wanted to send it to him through the social worker. Hoya wanted to throw it away and things got heated and… things were said that can’t be taken back and I just… it’s stupid, I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not stupid. You aren’t stupid, Dongwoo. You’re allowed to be upset. Don’t apologize for feeling what you feel.” Woohyun narrowed his eyes at him, but didn’t say anything for a few seconds.  

“What? I can hear you thinking. Just tell me!” Dongwoo begged.

“I have an idea. But you have to hear me out and answer me seriously.”

“Okay…” Dongwoo said somewhat suspiciously.

“Honestly, since all of this has started, have you ever stopped worrying about Sooyong and Hoya? I mean, when is the last time you actually put yourself first?”

“How could I possibly think of putting myself first when all of this is going on?”

“Anddd there’s your problem.”

“What?”

Woohyun took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to speak his mind. “It’s natural to be a nervous wreck; you’re on a verge of a custody battle and your husband hasn’t exactly been supportive. But you can’t take care of your son or your marriage if you don’t take care of yourself first. You’ve been running on empty for so long, trying to hold everything together and help me with this case, that I don’t think you’ve even allowed yourself to properly grieve. You need to let yourself be sad. You need to let yourself be angry. Maybe even be a little destructive. But all those feelings you’re keeping bottled up so you can be strong for your family? One day if you aren’t careful they could explode, and the consequences could be drastic. It’s going to , but you need to let yourself just… feel.”

“I’m scared to. I’m afraid if I do that I’ll lose control, and I have to stay focused. I have to keep going for my son.”

“Dongwoo, I’m the lawyer as you’ve loved to remind me tonight. You’re the client. You need to let me worry about the legal stuff. I appreciate your input on the case and you’ve been a huge help, but you need to let me take on most of that burden. Starting tonight.”

Woohyun jumped up, grabbing the bottle from the cabinet and bringing it back to the table along with a few shot glasses. “We are going to finish this bottle and you are probably going to cry and I might even let you watch a sappy romance movie on Netflix. But what we aren’t going to do is talk about your problems. Officially no more speculation about the adoption, or your marriage, or if the world is round.”

Dongwoo laughed at the ridiculousness of the last one, but he obliged the other when he motioned for him to pick up his shot glass. “Then what topics are allowed?”

“Music, sports, how attractive I am.”

The blonde rolled his eyes. “Time hasn’t made you any less humble has it?”

“Can’t get mad at me for stating facts.”

“I don’t know why Sunggyu puts up with you.”

Woohyun smirked devilishly. “Oh, you know why. But since I’m such a good friend, I’ll keep tonight’s topics safe, sane, and consensual.”

Dongwoo shoved his arm playfully. “You are truly ridiculous. But at least you play by the rules.” The blonde acknowledged the motto, and Woohyun actually looked impressed.

“Always. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me tomorrow morning after our little slumber party. You might be hungover, but in here-” He tapped a finger against Dongwoo’s chest, above his heart. “You’ll feel better. Now, you hang out here for a second, I’m going to go order us some pizza so we can do this thing right. There’s this great late night place that delivers just around the corner.”

“Make sure you get me one with pineapple!” Dongwoo called out, making Woohyun stop in his tracks.

“What?” He whispered, the disgust clear in his face.

“Kidding.” Dongwoo said sweetly, and Woohyun promptly threw a pillow at him.

“God, don’t scare me like that! I know I said we were friends now but this entire thing would have been cancelled if you supported a monstrosity like pineapple pizza.” Woohyun joked, disappearing into his kitchen to track down the restaurant's delivery menu.

Dongwoo sat alone on the couch, swirling the drink in his glass. He glanced at his phone, pushing down on the home button to check the time. He was surprised to see numerous missed calls and texts from Hoya. He resisted the urge to read the texts, but when he saw the red bubble signaling a voicemail he couldn’t help himself. He lifted to the phone to his ear, chewing on his lip nervously.

Dongwoo. Listen… I ed up earlier. I know I did. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you, I know that everything is my fault. I know that I’ve been distant. I’m a mess but that doesn’t give me the right to hurt you. Just please, come back home. I’m worried about you. , I’m sorry.

Hoya’s voice disappeared and Dongwoo was left with a ball of anxiety in his stomach. Part of him wanted to rush home, to run into Hoya’s arms and beg for comfort. But the bigger part of him just wanted to forget about everything, at least for one night.

“Everything okay in there?” Woohyun called out from the kitchen. Dongwoo deleted the voicemail, not wanting to waste another second on something he couldn’t control. He wasn’t going to think about Hoya tonight, he wasn’t going to cry anymore. He was going to enjoy spending time with his friend.

“Yep!” He called resolutely, turning off his phone purposefully. “I feel great. And it’s all thanks to you.”

Woohyun reappeared with a smile, and the blonde returned the gesture. The brunette supplied him with another drink, and they clinked their glasses together in cheers. Dongwoo might have been playing with fire tonight, but right now, he didn’t really care about getting burned.

A/N: So Woohyun has finally entered the story! We’ve hinted at him multiple times throughout the fic, but did you ever guess he was this connected to everyone? How do you feel about his past with Dongwoo? Is it a good idea for Dongwoo to be getting so close to Woohyun when things with Hoya are not so great? And speaking of Hoya, are you angry with him? He’s having a tough time dealing with the loss of his son, but that doesn’t exactly excuse his behavior with Dongwoo. We told you that the angst train was coming, and we weren’t kidding! Things are about to get complicated :)))))) And because we didn’t want to be super savage, we had to throw in some family time cuteness with Jiseon and Myungyeol. They are the only bright spot in this sea of angst lol. So we hope you enjoyed it and we are really curious to see what you thoughts are. Until the next update, comment and let us know what you think!
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