Username: DredhezRei

Story Name: The Witch Meets The Fish Prince

MARKS:

Plot:

-     Your general idea in involving an outcast charcter and a popular character is something I've seen used so many times in other stories. However you've definitely put your own cute and quirky interpretations on the characters and the storyline. It's different and fresh

21/30 points

English:

-     The English is alright. You need to be careful when using the correct tenses and sentence structure. I also spotted a few mistakes in punctuation.

For example:

  'Plus the dark grey clouds doesnt help him at all...' - This should be 'Plus the dark grey clouds didn't help him at all...' Even though doesn't and didn't are similar, in this case we use didn't instead. Also remember to put in apostrophes.

'He continue to walk bowing his head down...' - This example should be in past tense and therefore be: 'He continued to walk bowing his head down...'

 ' “Morning Sir.” Answered them. ' - When speech marks enclose words,  instead of using a full stop at the end, we use a comma so it is one whole sentence. It should be ' “Morning Sir,” answered them. ' 

 18/30 points

Creativity:

-    I like the idea of how you've written the story as a sort of modern day fairytale. Instead of a prince and a princess character, you've used a witch and a prince charcater. I thought that was quite original.

7.5/10 points

Description and Title:

-   The title: The Witch Meets The Fish Prince is unusual, but interesting. I found it strange when I first read it, but after reading a bit of your story I thought to myself, "Oh! i get it now!'

-     Your  description is good. It tells you everything you need to know and engages the reader to read more.

8/10 points

Writing style:

-    So far your story is easy to follow along and the progression is good. I had a little trouble when I was reading the character's thoughts. It's a bit tricky to remember which colour belonged to which character. I had to keep going back to the top to remind myself. I suggest adding the names next to the thoughts, so e.g Hae: *gasp* 'He knows my fishes names!' Just so it's easier for other readers.

7.5/10 points

Enjoyment:

-      I like what you've written so far. The characters are so adorable. I couldn't help but liking all of them, especially Yesung's and Hyukjae's friendship. I think it'll interesting to read about when Hyukjae and Donghae officially meet and their reactions to each other.     

8/10 points

TOTAL SCORE: 70/100

STAR RATING: ★★★

The Witch Meets The Fish Prince is a cute and humorous story with characters you can't help, but like and root for. If you work on proofreading your work and making sure the grammar and punctuation is correct, you'll do just fine. Also consider making the story a little easier to read when it comes to the thoughts of the characters. A good story has to be considerate to its readers. Good job and I hope you do well with the rest of your story.

If you would like any of your other stories reviewed, please don't hesitate to request.

Reviewed by -bubixi

♥