Username: Shin_Mika

Story Name: White Paper Cranes

MARKS:

Plot:

-         I loved this plotline. It is different to what I normally see out there.
This is nowhere near to cliche in my books.

24/30 points

English:

I see you have taken the advice from the other reviewers and changed to
what they have said which is really good. A lot of the time I just see the author just learn their mistakes but
not actually change what they have already written, so I will give you marks on that.
 

26/30 points

Creativity:

-       Abuse and bullying is not totally new to me and many other readers here but the thing that is the
creative part is that the paper cranes is suppose to be an offering. Good change up!

7/10 points

Description and Title:

- Title fits in perfectly. The description is really good as well as it just skims
over the story but leaves the best parts out.

8/10 points

Writing style:

-      1st person view. At first I thought it was going to be in 3rd person view with the Paper Crane being a witness 
(this was when I first read the title) but was I wrong. It is good that you use a line to separate the times
so the reader is not confused if something happened directly after it or not.  

6/10 points

Enjoyment:

-   This story, in my eyes, is amazing. There wasn't really a part I could pick out and say that I don't like it.
If there was something to speak badly of, it would be the length of it. I really wanted it to go on longer
but if you had done it longer maybe it wouldn't have been as good.
 

7.5/10 points

TOTAL SCORE: 78.5

STAR RATING: 4

Really, liked this story and I believe it may have the highest total score so far.
I'll have to double check on that. Good work on this story.
I listened to I told You I wanna Die by Huh Guk as I read the story and together (the song and story),
it made me shed tears.

If you would like any of your other stories reviewed, please don't hesitate to request.
Or if you do not understand something, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Reviewed by _uraqt