Username: forgettheworld

Story Name: Summer Rain

MARKS:

Plot:

-     There are some other stories that I know that follow along the Romeo and Juliet storyline, but I think that yours defintely had a fresh, orignal feel to it.

24.5/30 points

English:

-        There's not much that I can criticize about the english of the story. The grammar and puncutation were good. I didn't see any big mistakes, but there were a few sentences that I felt needed a comma. 

I thought the line ' The smell of the rain, so similar to the smell of tears filled her with immense sadness and without knowing it; a tear escaped from her eyes and trickled down her cheek. ' could be separated into two sentences instead of dividing it with a semi colon. I think it's better not to drag it out. 

Also, in the third last paragraph the name Jane appeared instead of Ji Eun's. I'm guessing you changed the name for you competition, but forgot to change it back on here

Overall, the english in the story was very good.

 28/30 points

Creativity:

-    I thought that it was a really smart and clever idea in using quotes from the actual Romeo and Juliet playwright and incorporating it into your story. I liked how you were able to to twist the classic tale into a modern day story.   

7/10 points

Description and Title:

- I like the title 'Summer Rain'. It gave me the feeling of something sweet and romantic, but it's still suitable to your story. 

Your description is short, but informative. It made me think that this would be story about the troubles IU (Lee Ji Eun) and Wooyoung would face in being together. The line 'The rain hides your tears and so you can cry by yourself with no one to disturb you' really got to me. 

7/10 points

Writing style:

-    It was very well written. As you keep on reading, you find out little important bits of the story. I was a little confused at the start , but in the end everything made sense. I liked how you made the story seem like one of Shakespeare's plays. It captured that dramatic feel and was very well detailed.    

8.5/10 points

Enjoyment:

-   I really enjoyed this oneshot story. I'm a fan of the milky couple so I hope you write a sequel because I just want to read more.        

8/10 points

TOTAL SCORE: 84/100

STAR RATING: ★★★★

Summer Rain is a lovely oneshot story that has a modern twist on the classic tale of Romeo and Juliet. It's clever, well detailed and the english is good. It captured the feel of a dramatic Shakespeare's play. I hope you write a longer sequel. I'm interested in what will happen between them and Nikki. I'm sorry I couldn't really give you any helpful hints, but I honestly did like your story. Terrific job and good luck with the competition!

If you would like any of your other stories reviewed, please don't hesitate to request.

Reviewed by -bubixi

♥