Your cold eyes digs into my heart, cutting deeply through the center

Luhan's head flops down.

He jerks back up and his eyes slowly slide closed again.

And his head falls.

He snaps back up.

Over and over.

Tao gently rubs circles around his shoulders.

"Ge, you're not going to do anything rash, are you?"

"No, Taozi. Don't worry about ge." (Now please leave me alone)

Tao's worried eyes widen, but he stands up and leaves Luhan, understanding the plea in the still air.

He leaves with one last comment.

"You should sleep, ge." (If only I could)

Kris enters the room.

"Luhan, you understand that you can't let this affect you, right? They'll cut you loose with no problem. You saw how they played off Minseok's death, they used it to their advantage."

Luhan looks up with stunningly sharp eyes.

"They just want a good show, that's all they want."

Kris sighs. "It's not so drastic that I would quote the Hunger Games, but yes, that is what they want."

"I understand." Luhan gives a heartbreaking little smile. "Don't worry, worry about the rest of the group." (So they'll be okay if I leave)

Kris grimly nods. "I am."

If I don’t cure this wound, I might die, I might go crazy, I don’t know what will happen

Yixing slips through the door and Kris exits with heavy footsteps.

"Luhan."

Luhan silently begs Yixing not to say anything, not to pain him any more.

Yixing curtly nods and envelops Luhan into a hug.

"We all have to break. You don't have to act strong." 

"I'm not breaking. I am strong. I'm no less of a man now than I was." (If only that was the truth)

Yixing gives Luhan a sympathetic glance.

Jongdae, sitting in the living room with the rest of the members, offhandedly comments, "If only there was a cure for Luhan."

But everyone knew that that there was a cure, but no one had the guts to say the name. (A dose of Kim Minseok)

The only medicine is you

Luhan sits in a crumpled little ball.

He can hear little voices around his head, he can feel a literal pain residing in his heart. 

"Is this how you felt?" He questions the air.

He can feel a silent nod back.

Luhan laughs bitterly and falls back, kicking his feet in the air.

"I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for causing you pain."

{(but you didn't look back)}

"I tried to come back, though."

{(but i had already left)}

"Dammit, Minseok! Say something."

{(but i still love you, how funny)}

Out in the living room, everyone knows that Luhan isn't going to get a response and wonders who Luhan is talking to.

If I can’t have you, I might die, I might go crazy, I don't know what will happen

Luhan wishes he could be selfish. 

Luhan wishes he could just end the frustration and pain.

Luhan wishes he could just leave the group (and maybe the world).

He knows that the group would suffer big time if he left.

But Minseok didn't have a hard time leaving.

Luhan briefly argues with himself and stands up.

He enters the living room with a tiny, melancholy smile.

The others shuffle over on the couch to make room.

Luhan can hear his heart silently breaking and maybe

just maybe

start to 

heal.

The others go to sleep, comforted by the fact that Luhan might be getting better, leaving Minseok behind.

They think that Luhan is strong enough to get past this.

After all, Luhan is a self-proclaimed man.

But Luhan knows that he's weak.

He's not strong enough after all.

He's weak, pitiful, and selfish.

And he breaks.

I can’t live if I lose you

A/N: Gah another angsty ending sorry guys i'm feeling angsty

{(this is stuff that Luhan imagines hearing Minseok say back/possibly Minseok himself this is deep jk)}

(just the parenthesis is Luhan thinking/his voices)

BIG BOLD ITALICIZED IS SHINEE'S SYMPTOMS LYRICS, GO CHECK IT OUT IT'S PRETTY GOOD