“Umm… Sweet heart what are you doing?” T.O.P asked confused, voice a little ruff
“Give me a sec” I sad bent over looking through my bag. I grabbed my laptop out and spun over to him “Ready?” I said looking at him, the room was pretty dark except for the little light shining on his face from my lamp.
“mmm sure I guess” he said opening his arms to me. I climbed onto him and left my hands on his waist. He began kissing my cheek all the way down to my collar bone.
“Enough, Oppa focus” I said taking his arms off my back and grab the laptop putting it in front of us to block him from moving closer to me. “Mwo? Baby… what do you mean? Im warming you up..” He told me puzzled.
“Warm me up for what? Ah there we go” I clicked on the folder and then looked up at him. His eyes dilated and excited seem to turn a bit sad or upset? Wait… “OH! AW OPPA!” I giggled at him. “Silly, Silly rapper…” I leaned forward and kissed his cheek “I didn’t mean it like that, you always asked me about my past and I didn’t know much and didn’t want to remember, but after my trip to Canada I want you to know. Don’t you?” I said turning the laptop to him.
-sigh- “Ugh alright… I just thought” He said defeated
“Shh behave not now, you have a lot to prove before I give it up, and besides I don’t think you would want to be with me after this.” I said getting off his lap, didn’t want to excite him anymore xD
“Here look, I visited Tyson, his wife Peyton and my new little nephew Dixon lou. My brothers house its so well put together! Me and Dixon together, omo he looks so much like Tyson, so beautiful. And that was the house I grew up in” I said going through the pictures.
“But love… where’s the real deal…” T.O.P questioned me carefully. I gulped. I flipped through the photos till I found it.
“Me and Tyson after catching up, went to her grave” T.O.P looked at the photo without saying a word so I continued “We both talked to her… I apologized and everything even brought her favorite flowers... Mountain Laurel, yes I know my favs” I told him when he was about to begin
“I fell in love with them because every time I did well at my performances whether dance, singing competitions or whatever, she would bring me a big bouquet, Tyson said my father he remembered, used to bring them to her when he was in a good mood, but I was to young to remember” He still sat staring at the photo so I changed the picture and continued “I lit some candles and sat there till dark with Ty, it was relieving to do that, I felt like me and her left off on good terms so he brought me home and gave me this.” I reached behind me and grabbed a black box I hid under my bed when I came home, “Here open it” 
“Me? Wae? It’s yours love, I don’t want to invade” he said dazed

“What’s mines is yours now right? And I want you to understand with me” I encouraged. He slowly lifted the box and eyes widen when he saw the many pictures, letters and ribbons or my awards.
“Baby?” He started but I cut him off “When she… left… Tyson and Peyton have the rights to her house and anything that was in it, so while they were cleaning up they found this box with my name attached to it, my mum kept it, all her favorite memories of me, us and the great things I achieved and her last letter” I said touching his arm.
He picked up a photo of me wrapped around mum’s leg, I knew what he saw, me, how I truly am; small, innocent, happy, smiling and looking adoringly at mum, and I knew he saw me as a reflection of her.
“She also left me a long letter explaining herself and her last wishes” I said grabbing the thick letters.
“I can’t understand it” He said now looking at me sad
“Here, ill read and explain it to you” I said looking at the letters, I felt the tears begin to flow.
 

“Dear Eleni Lou,

May I first off say my beautiful, talented, independent daughter, I am so very proud of you.

Proud you took a stand and went to chase your dreams, proud that you wanted more from your hell of a life I brought you into and proud that you are a successful young lady.
I love you dearly honey and I am truly sorry that I have been not much of a mother to you when you were young and even older…
Im sorry that I couldn’t give you a father figure, though I tried so hard to keep him around but couldn’t, Sorry to have strange men come after you many times when I pass out drunk after nights of drinking to find a solution to my misery of life, sorry that I beaten you when you messed up In your practices and performances, or simply when I was fed up with life. Sorry that I made you lose your childhood and have it replaced with many nights of rehearsals, and home work which I knew you hated but fell behind because of the many activities I put you in and im sorry about the last words I said to you before you left that night to Korea.  I remember it clearly.

‘Eleni NO. ABOSOLUTELY NO. You are not running off to be some want to big shot in Korea. Were not even Korean for goodness sakes. YOU WILL NEVER MAKE IT YOUR NOT ENOUGH’
‘I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH! IM SICK OF THIS LIFE HERE IM LEAVING I DON’T NEED YOU ILL SHOW YOU’
Sweet heart you are my everything. How could I let you go?

‘No one will give a about you. You’ll suffer and when you mess up YG will kick you out and you will come crawling home to mommy, but guess what. I wont let you in. you little bastard.’
I waited years for you to come home. I missed you everyday.

‘YOU I HOPE YOU DIE WITH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING YOU GIVEN ME’                                                                                  I am dying hun because of this cancer but im suffering, not cause of the tumors but because I knew the hell I gave you, though I tried to make a better life, I was holding you back, so you got your wish but honey don’t regret it, I did this to you. I deserve it.

‘Im leaving, and moving forward with life it’s what you taught me no matter how much it hurts.’
Im glad you did learn dear.

‘I’ll prove you wrong, you’ll see! And I’ll make money to provide for you. HA something you never could do!! Doesn’t that make you feel sick mum? AND TO TOP IT OFF I’ll find a beautiful man who will love and care of me!’
You did prove me wrong… the money that was sent back to me that you gave to Yang Hyun Suk was more then enough to get me out of debt and have extra, and as for finding a man, well dear, in my last weeks Yang Hyun Suk said you found a lovely man. Choi Seung Hyun? Who loves you dearly. Don’t make the same mistakes I made honey. Wait till your more mature, try to wait till you’re about 20. I learned this the hard way with your life; with Tyson I had no choice…please just don’t give into his beautiful eyes, adorable smile, don’t fall for the way he says your name, forget about the little things he does and do not, do not honey fall in love with his presence and the feeling of his existence. But…”

 I paused my eye sight was blurred because of the tears that flowed down my cheeks and looked but at him

“Eleni” He whispered. It was the first time I ever heard him call me by my birth name. I let out an ugly sound, I was breaking down again.
“Eleni Lou…” He said moving towards me he grabbed my into his lap and making me face him, I could barely see him through my tears. He took his thumbs and ever so lightly wiped my tears; he then took my face and made me look at him. His eyes, wide and tears begin to form was looking into my soul now. I tried to look away, to shake him off but he held my face firmly and kissed me.
I was trying to make sense of what was going on but my mind couldn’t focus. His soft lips were pressed and molded so perfectly around mine. He made our lips part as a felt his hot, sweet breath in my mouth I went limp in his arms, my arms just sat in my lap as he released his hands around my faced and laced them into my hair. Our lips pressed and traced one another’s to make beautiful poetry.
After who knows how long I felt his lips remove from mine, I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me, I felt the connection. He understood my pain, my heartache, it was clear, his eyes told a story of its own as a little tear escaped.
“Saranghaeyo, ja-gi-yah You are my everything, and I’m glad you opened up with me something so dark and something you never want to talk about. But I don’t care what you have been through, I am here to help you through it and make a beautiful life no matter what, what you want, I’ll give it to you. I hope you feel my sincerity.” He said still looking deeply into me.
“Wait im not done…” my voice crackled. I kept reading

'If he can kiss you deeply and you know deep in your heart that your souls connected to you after sharing with him your very dark past… then babes. By all means go for him.  I approve, if you know in your heart that any man connects with you with something so horrific and wants to help you through this, I’ll make the exception. This is my last wish for you. Make a wish choice when you pick your man, don’t be reckless like me.'

I looked back at T.O.P and smiled widely “She would have loved you. I know I do.” He sighed and laughed at me, I never seen him so serious and sad, but he was caring about me that’s all. “Saranghaeyo Oppa” I kissed him again.