I didn’t know what to do, Minho was leaning on my shoulder and had his arms firmly around me; naturally I comforted him by pulling my arm around him and giving him a tight hug. For a few moments I didn’t know what I could say, obviously I wanted to ask him if he was okay and then ask him what had happened but I wasn’t sure if he would tell him. But then the words “because you’re the only one I trust” played in my head. Surly that can’t be true? Out of everyone in the whole why would be just trust me? He had good people working for him, he had a good bunch of friends and he got on well with everyone that he meets because he has such a good gentlemen charm about him

“My father has thrown me out”

My eyes widened. His father? Threw him out? But why would he do that?

“We had such a huge argument about my work efforts and he got so mad at me. I have been trying my best at all the meetings, working overtime and not even seeing any of my friends if they had nothing to do with the work that I was doing so I couldn’t be at any point distracted but my efforts weren’t acknowledged, not even one bit. He said that I didn’t try hard enough and that I haven’t pushed myself to the limit but the truth is, I’m at my limit. I’m still only young and I’ve been helping out at my father’s company ever since I started high school and even did some jobs before then. I’ve never took a day off and I’ve never been in any kind of trouble. I’m emotionally and physically tired. I got so angry at him never noticing that I have been struggling but dealing with it, not even “good job son” it’s just that I could improve. He then told me to pack some stuff and he doesn’t want to see me for a while”

Minho then went silent. I could feel him sniffing a little as if he had started crying but I didn’t look; he was a proud guy and I know he would feel a little embarrassed if I see him crying. But then it hit me, does that mean he won’t be in work?

“Minho what about your jo-“ he stopped me, bringing his eyes up to mine

“don’t worry I’ll still need to come into work, he said that I can’t leave in the middle of a deal and even if he’s mad at me he still wants me to go to work. He won’t see me anyway because he’s always up in the bosses room at the top when I’m near the bottom”

His eyes were shaking, he looked so scared and lost. You can see the pain he was feeling causing my heart to get sharp stabbing sensations. I could feel his pain, I could feel his sadness. Face wet and eyes red I pushed his head back onto my shoulder, to comfort him and myself. Seeing him like this was breaking my heart, I found it hard to look at him.

“You can stay with me if you have nowhere to go. I have lots of food and I’m really quiet because I do my uni work and paper work in my spare time and I study so I won’t bother you and I can sleep on the couch so you can have my bed”

Everything was silent for a moment, We were both standing in the night air, keeping each other warm with our body heat and not letting go till at least one of us were okay, hopefully Minho. Minho then whimpered a little cry then said “can I please?” my heart froze. The sound of his whimper caused a tear in my eye because not only could I see his pain when I looked in his eyes, I could now hear it.

“of course, come on in and I’ll make us something to eat and get us a drink”

I brought Minho inside and took his jacket off to hang it up while Minho went to go to clean up in the toilet. My heart was still very unsettled but I managed to control my facial expressions to convey that I was okay. I mean how Minho talk to me and expect me to be there if I’m sitting there crying too. So I prepared myself

“don’t cry Taemin, yes he’s in pain but if you sit and listen and he gets some rest then he’ll be okay and you’ll feel good too” I thought to myself.

“you have a really nice apartment, I never got to tell you because you were so drunk before haha” laughing nervously at the idea of how drunk I was before I sat down. I had placed a drink on the table for Minho to drink, he thanked me and sat down next to me, not leaving much space but I wasn’t too bothered.

“thank you for letting me stay with you, I hadn’t even thought about asking you if that’s what you wondered, I didn’t want to be weird and ask because I don’t know, men usually don’t stay with men and stuff you know?” I nodded.

For most of the night we just sat up and talked about how our parents expectations of us are what ruin our own expectations.

“yeah for example, we grow up and learn how to act a certain way and we think everyone does because they tell us it’s the right way to act but then we notice that not everyone acts the same, everyone is an individual but they teach us and tell us not to be. We don’t get to pick what we really want to be because our parents make us be what they want” I totally agreed but I actually didn’t feel that exact way

“well in my case it’s that I’m compared to my big brother, he was always taught to be the best so when I become good at something he needs to do better than me at it, like for example, I scored 98 on my exam for history, a subject that he never really liked or wanted to do well in because he felt like the past is the past and should be left like that but once he seen that I done better than him he sat up for hours and hours studying, done the harder exam and got 99 just to be better than me. He always tried to hide it but I could see him. I hate it. I hate that there isn’t many things I’m good at or I was till he done so much better, that’s why I like dancing because it’s something he could never ever do so instead he mocks me”

“I know how you brother feels, I’m not saying you should feel sorry for him or anything, you’ve told me how you feel and I understand but I remember being in school and my dad always telling me to do better than all the other kids, even in classes I didn’t even need he still made me do my best, it makes your life so stressful because you need to keep up top and study like crazy”

“it’s not that I don’t feel sorry for my brother. I acknowledge how hard he works, maybe in a negative attitude because it pisses me off when he does well but the fact is he doesn’t acknowledge mine and he uses me as competition, making me feel like I can’t do a thing right and that I need to follow him, I work hard too, I study a lot and I work my off to stay at the top so I don’t have extra work and it gives me a sense of achievement that I’ve worked hard at something and I done well in it whereas he looks for achievement in my failure at something. I have many reasons to dislike and hate my brother but that is one of the main ones. I hate that my parents want me to be like him because I think; yes he is smart but he’s a horrible person you know?”

Minho nodded. He understood exactly what I was saying, something no one ever did. Everyone just seen my hatred for my brother as jealousy when in fact it’s not all jealously, I do actually have valid and reasonable reasons.

“I find it so easy to talk to you do you know that?”

A shiver went ringing down my spine “do you?”

“yes, I do. You’re interesting and you make me feel better”

“that’s probably because of how pathetic I am, it could cheer anyone up just thinking about it”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all. You’re at war with your heart I think”

My head tilted a little “how so?”

“well I think that you spend so much time trying to be better than your brother when you already are and I think you know you’re better than your brother at things but because no one ever tells you that you are and compares instead of looking at you individually that it makes you think you’re always at competition with him. Taemin; yes your brother is very smart but so are you, your brother could yes do the same work as you but couldn’t do it like you. He doesn’t really do things better, he just does things differently, for example, your history test, he did a level higher up didn’t he? So he didn’t do the one you did? So yes, he did scare higher than you but not on the test you did, which isn’t in a way fair, that just means that he was good at that test, do you see what I mean?”

I had never really thought of it that way before when I think about it. Maybe I am at war with my heart, in more than one way than he thinks but yes.

“And another thing Taemin, I don’t compare you to your brother and I don’t think he’s better and I acknowledge your hard work. You always do well”

Minho and me both went to bed, as I went to go sleep on the couch Minho said he felt bad because I was “stealing” my bed so instead we both slept in my bed together, I have a king size bed, plenty of room between us so I guess it wasn’t too bad and I wouldn’t have to be too nervous of him touching me and my mind going off on wonders, even though they still could just because we were in the same bed.

As we were lying there I turned round to face his direction

“minho hyung?”

“yes Taemin-ah ?”

“I think your dad is all wrong, you have worked hard and I don’t understand how he doesn’t see all that you’ve done, I see it all the time, you always do your best and it doesn’t matter what needs done, you do it. You’re like an inspiration to me. I know your dad doesn’t see this but I think you’re amazing with the work you do. Don’t let him being selfish bastard make you feel like you can’t do something. You’ll always do your best and I will always believe in you and acknowledge your efforts, always”

Minho then turned around to face me

“Taemin…. Thank you for existing” then classed his eyes.

He remembered.