Chapter 2:

Nothing but Familiar

✿

The wind was particularly colder today so far as autumn goes. Miya recoiled slightly further into the little warmth of her coat as another gust threatened to sweep her off. She swiped the hair from her face and watched as passersby were having the same problem as she did.

She sighed inwardly. In cases such as this, she had the urge to just wrap herself into a burrito, drinking a cup of spicy hot cocoa, and listen to the onslaught of the wind to the outside world. But that would be selfish of her. She didn’t go through the gruelling process of nursing school just to slack off.

‘The only time you could ever relax is when you’re dead’, her mother’s words would ring through always obnoxious and hearty. She could still remember the sparkling eyes and how her smile never faltered, not even on bad days such as this. She would try to stand out from the rest, show her daughter that if she could take the cold walking from work to the house without the warmth of her coat then surely there’s nothing to complain about when you have one. Remembering those words always sent something heavy to settle into the pit of Miya’s stomach because at that time they couldn’t even afford 3 meals a day let alone a coat.

Instinctively, she tightened the strap in an appreciative gesture and muttered under her breath of whether Jongin wasn’t setting anything on fire just to clear unwanted memories.

She was a few more distance from the huge hospital that was looming over other buildings. Crossing the busy streets and waiting for red lights to appear, she managed to go through the swarm of the crowd and turn a block when she toppled over something then falling on her .

“What the fu—“

“WOOF!!”

Miya glared at the dog which was sniffing idly around her trying and failing to her face when she quickly grabbed its collar and yanked it away from her.

“Oh! My bad!” Miya turned her glare at the man who offered to take the overly energetic dog that was whining and yanking his own collar free from the other man to get to her. “He doesn’t usually charge at any stranger like that.”

“Right”, Miya mumbled getting up and dusting her from dusts, not letting her glare slip at the blonde that was starting to fidget.

“I’m Lu Han by the way”, he said lifting his free hand for a shake.

Miya hesitantly took it but she is in no way obliged to offer her own name. She couldn’t exactly forgive him for just letting his large pet to sprint towards her like she was a piece of meat. And what is wrong with that dog? If he loosens his grip, the dog will surely attack her again. “Just be thankful I’m not a dog hater”, she replied instead.

The man was a little taken aback and laughed nervously. “Ummm... so you’re an employee of the hospital there”, he said pointing to the entrance where another poor soul was wheeled in from the ambulance to the emergency room. Miya looked at him nonchalantly; he must’ve figured out from her white slacks revealed from her knee-cut coat. “In a way, that makes us practically working neighbours.”

She raised her eyebrows when she saw a moving truck just a few meters ahead. “Oh! So you’re buying that abandoned building over there”, she finally clicked in, smiling a little.

Lu Han seemed to have relaxed when the awkward encounter was lifted and smiled charmingly at her. “Actually, my partner bought it to open up a new business.”

Miya slightly blushed now taking in how good-looking the other was. Because of her sour mood from almost having a concussion, she failed to see sandy blonde hair and a very pretty faced man with an aura that seems to glow; especially with that smile. Now, she was the one fidgeting as self-consciousness settled in, cursing herself to oblivion for being so rude. “A business? So, I’m assuming you’re putting up a new pharmacy”, she said, beaming a little and failing to notice how the blonde’s confident smile turned embarrassed. “That’s great! The hospital has high priced medicines so it’ll be great if you offered the patients more affordable drugs to take.”

“Um... no. We’re putting up a dance and recording studio, actually”, Lu Han explained, cursing a certain brunette that was busy at the top floor and spared from awkward situations such as this.

By this time, both of them were looking everywhere but at each other too embarrassed for their own reason

“Is that so?” She peeked at him a little before pretending to look at her watch. “Yeah, so I guess I’ll see you around, then. Good luck with... uh... your business.” She bowed a little before briskly walking away and flinched when the dog began to whine at her realizing that she was leaving.

Weird. She didn’t dare look back if she wanted to survive another mortifying bout of conversation from the stranger. He was good-looking, but damnit, that was really awkward.

She passed by the moving truck when something caught her eye pausing on the way. It was an old guitar case, chipped at the sides and a lock that was brick red from rusting. It was perched atop of piled up boxes. She stared curiously at it because that shade of ugly, puke, green color painted over the surface of the case stirred something very familiar within her. Soft tunes and a nasal singing voice... She snorted a little, jogging to the other side, old guitar case forgotten.

✿

“Miya, thank goodness!”

Exiting the nurses’ lounge, Miya hurried over to scrub as the nursing supervisor, Mrs. Kang, hurried to her side. “Sorry, was I late? I’ll be gowning up quickly.” She wasn’t particularly problematic when Mrs. Kang was in-charge. She was nice and a little understanding with even a lot of the new staff that were still starting on their training. The only thing she never tolerated was evident negligence on documenting care and failure to carry out doctor’s orders from the chart.

“That’s not it. Mrs. Miller just passed away”, she said and Miya momentarily looked at her in surprise but quickly nodded in understanding. “There’s a new patient who would be coming out from the O.R. post-craniectomy in about an hour so you best be preparing the spare bed.”

Miya looked away from her to focus on the running water not realizing how hard she’d been scrubbing her arm raw. It wasn’t unusual for a lot of the older staff lacking sympathy over recently dead patient, talking about them as if it was just a daily occurrence. Sadly, Miya is following under her superiors’ footsteps. Mulling over the death of one patient isn’t going to bring them back and if one buries herself under the guilt and sadness, Miya is sure that would result to insanity.

“Would I be doing the post-mortem care?” She asked quickly grabbing a gown and gloves.

“No, Yu Hee’s just finished and their transporting the body to the morgue in right about now”, she said, tying the sash behind her.

“Okay, I’ll just finish the doctor’s orders on other patients and I’ll proceed to Mrs. Miller’s room”,  Miya said, cutting eye contact to stare at Yu Hee, the small petite woman, a new trainee just recruited last week, coming in as she starts peeling  off her gown, looking ashened face and a little green. Mrs. Kang gave Miya the ‘look’ before exiting the room.

Slowly , Miya approached her like how a frightened rabbit should be treated and she gave out a weak croak. “Don’t. Just... don’t.”

At this point, there was nothing Miya could do. This is how reality crashed into her when she finally realized the life she had subjected into. Being an ICU nurse means caring to patients who had little chance of actually surviving. Prognosis is so poor that most of the patients are living on machines attached to them and nothing else. No more surgeries, no more medications, and no more interventions that could bring them back. They’re simply holding onto to that small thread of life unconsciously that is expected to snap at anytime. Sometimes, prognosis increases and that lift an incredible hope on not only to the family of the patient but the majority of the staff as well. But where treatment is slow and delicate, death is swift and possessive. Just like how death had claimed Mrs. Miller’s life.

Even if the most appropriate action was to be numb when the time comes in order to be able to function well, there was one particular patient Miya is unsure if she could move forward from.

“Unnie!” A toothy grin greeted her as she pushed the door with her back and gave a smile of her own. She settled the tray of syringe and needle at the bedside table. She looked down at the 5-year-old whose smile wiped out immediately as soon as she saw what was in the tray. “Noooo! I dun wanna!” She began to whine, tearing up and hiccupping.

“Shhh... It’s gonna be alright, Eun Mi”, her mother soothed, holding onto her and the girl fidgeted against the gown her mother was wearing.

“Hey now, I thought you weren’t gonna be afraid of unnie anymore”, Miya said, preparing the line for the drip bag.

“Am not afraid!” That lacked a little bit of force when the lights were dimmed. I bit my lip as I began to inject the drug into the drip chamber and adjusted the drip for half an hour. It’s been a week since she had started her chemotherapy and I knew for a fact that she is extremely immunosuppressive that even a common cold could kill her now. But like always, it’s the staff’s job to keep her spirits up.

“Eun Mi wants to get well, right?” I asked her and she nodded a little as the burning from the drug was settling in. “Umma and appa wants to play with Eun Mi in the park soon so don’t be afraid because you’re doing great. There’s a kind person who’s willing to donate a new—“

“Bon Maro”, she quickly supplied looking proud of herself and Miya grinned through her mask.

“That’s right, a bone marrow so we need to be sure that your body could take in the new organ”, the older explained as carefully as possible. Miya knew she had heard this a hundred times before but it never fails to calm the 5-year-old down.

“Okay!” The wide smile from that small face had her heart leap a few beats. Even through the poor lighting, the sunken eyes, pale, ashen face, and the bony arms that were held up in glee was a depiction of an already potential victim of death. Like hell she’d let that happen.

✿

48 hours of work per week may sound peachy but really, whoever said that clearly doesn’t work like she does.

Miya massaged her left shoulder as the night’s events came crashing down on her. Her shift tonight had consisted of an all-female staff and that is a big problem. When one of the patients who were comatosed was required by the doctor to be turned to the side every two hours, she nearly broke her back because the patient was twice her size.

She blew out a breath as the cold began to seep into her again once she pushed the glass door of the hospital open. That’s it. The next goal in her life was to buy a car because ending her shift at 3 in the morning with a broken back and an apartment that was miles away is not an appealing way of living.

Looking from side to side, it appears the streets are going to be void from cars passing by so she took her leisure time of strolling across the street from when she made her way back to work. Her hair was tussled from the wind and she couldn’t care less when there weren’t even people around to judge her.

It might’ve been just the lack of sleep (stupid Jongin’s fault) or maybe it was the fatigue she felt after half a day of work where she had to lift a fat man’s body every 2 hours that she failed to see a car zooming confidently towards her. Really, what was the smartest move she mad?

Looking at it like a deer caught in the headlights.

And really, Miya should be thanking the man that pulled her to safety, into a warm chest that smelled like fresh aftershave and lemon cologne; sickeningly familiar by the way. Really, she should’ve kissed the other’s feet and worship the ground he walked in after owing her life to her. But, lifting her head up, as the tip of her nose touched the side of the man’s neck and the stranger recoiled away from her, she neither did any display of gratitude.

Instead, she stared at a ghost of a man from her past that was supposed to not anymore exist in her life and then, it seems someone popped a popper dangerously close to her ear. The dog, the guitar case, the aftershave and cologne, the ticklish neck...

So she did the most logical thing to do: she ran.