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In the best of worlds, Jongin would have rushed right over to Do Kyungsoo's side and fought the three attackers off, or at least tried to. In the best of worlds, Do Kyungsoo would have smiled at him in silent thanks before accepting Jongin's out-stretched hand and wobbly gotten to his feet afterwards.

In the best of worlds, Jongin would have been brave enough to act.

But this isn't best of worlds — it's far, far from it; it's broken and it's tattered and it's bleeding — and so Jongin walks away after forcing his legs to obey, all the while choking on his own shame and a feeling of nausea making his insides churn as he clenches his jaws shut, teeth grinding against teeth.

Don't be mistaken; he wants to help Do Kyungsoo. He really, really does.

But he can't. He's too scared of his parents finding out (which they definitely will if he tries helping Do Kyungsoo, because in this school even the trees has eyes and ears). He's scared of them suddenly beginning to suspect that something's not quite right with him (because why else would he help someone so ugly like Do Kyungsoo, who isn't rich and/or famous?) which will in turn make them keep an even closer watch on his behavior than they already are, and Jongin knows he won't be able to stay sane if they’d do that. The leash they've got around his neck is already short enough; if they rein him in even more he'll choke and die.

So he walks away, and he gets to his glen, and he sits down on the grass and he tries to forget the pained sounds Do Kyungsoo had made.

Five minutes after Jongin has finished his packed lunch, he retches and pukes his meal up behind a bush at the edge of his sanctuary, his face pale and hands trembling as he cradles his head in his hands, tearing at his hair.

He hates this, this hell, but most of all he hates himself and how he lets his secret fears dictate how he acts and what he does, turning him – even though he doesn’t want to, even though he’s so very desperately trying to fight everything and keep it from seeping into his skin and poisoning him just like it has already poisoned everyone else – into one of the very people he detests so much.

Because had he been a braver man, he would have come to Do Kyungsoo’s rescue, no question about it. He'd had cast aside his own fears and played the part of the hero instead of the coward's.

If only this had been the best of worlds.