☤

At first, Jongin isn’t aware of the impact that single meeting had on him. Sure, Jongin looks for the boy in the hallways and in the classrooms – eyes always searching, searching and trying to catch a glimpse of the enigma – but he doesn’t think very much about it. It never hurt anyone to look at something, or in this case someone, right?

And if anyone actually noticed Jongin’s sudden interest in the transfer student he could always just laugh it off and dismiss it as some sort of morbid curiosity, pretend he was only stalking Do Kyungsoo with his eyes because he found the other boy hideous, and no one would ever know that it was the complete opposite that was what spurned his fascination with the other boy.

☤

“I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now, Jongin; your eyes are too small, and it makes your face look fat. We need to get them fixed, so I’ve booked an appointment for you on Saturday at 12 o’clock. Your father will drive you, so be sure to be ready to go at eleven thirty.”

Jongin’s fingers twitches, squishing the double-sandwhich he’s holding and making deep indentations in the soft full-grain bread with his digits, and his stomach churns as he forces his lips to bend into a grateful smile even though what he really wants is to scream. Or at least it’s intended to look grateful, but it just comes out as hollow as Jongin nods and says: “Yes, of course. Thank you, mother, that’s very kind of you.”

She smiles at him, plastic lips and botox cheeks stiffly trying to imitate an expression of love but failing just as spectacularly as Jongin had. “Anything for you, honey.”

Mother and son, sitting at the dinner table during breakfast, expressions on their faces put-together like fragile jigsaw puzzles to carefully hide the cracks and the holes in their souls underneath.

☤

Another week passes by, consisting of the same gray dullness as always except for the few splashes of color Do Kyungsoo unknowingly contributes to Jongin’s barren existence, and everything is just as it has always been and always will be until Jongin can break free from this prison.

Or so he thought.