I already know - Phantom

01. so little yet so much

Your POV

Air filled my lungs as I took a refreshing breath while walking out of a shabby alley, my work place for today.

A small hand waved at me and although my hands stunk, no, my whole body stunk, I cupped my mouth and shouted loudly. "Yah, crazy ! What are you doing here?!"

Quickly my legs brought me to the girl which held me firmly in a headlock when I arrived her side. "Torturing you, what else?"

I punched her rips and she let go of me immediately.

"Ouchie, Jiwonnie! Your punches are getting harder!" my best friend held her torso in pain and I patted her right shoulder. "Soojin, lately, you're transforming into a , have you noticed it?"

I took out a cigarette and my lighter swiftly, lighting my cigarette. I took a long puff and exhaled oh so slowly, stress diminishing a slight bit.

Another puff and I gave it to the one and only Kwon Soojin next to me. I nasally spoke after letting the smoke leave my body. "So, why did you come here?"

"Yoora has told me you're here...I have heard some things from this neighborhood. I wanted to keep an eye on you, dongsaeng." Soojin snapped the ash off the cigarette before giving it back to me. A slow chuckle left my mouth. "You're so cute. How long have you been waiting?"

"Two hours. But don't think I was alone all the time! I had Sungbin with me! He left about fifteen minutes before you came outside." Soojin dreamily spoke and I tsk-ed her. "Break up with him."

"Jiwon, we have had this conver-"

I stopped in my tracks. "Soojin unnie. He's not good for you. He's a rapper. And works in the underground."

"How many times do I have to tell you this? Sungbin isn't like one of those guys." she empasized one word and my mouth corners twitched downward. "Underground. Rapper. Basta."

I continued to walk and she linked her arm into mine. "I do love him. But...you're more important to me...I don't want to argue about this. I wouldn't be dating him if he was bad, you know I can smell guys like that! His music is awesome, and you know that! Let's smoke, drink, boo-"

"Don't...start with this!" I hit her, laughing, and she smiled, hugging me from the side tightly. "My hardly laughing Jiwonnie! Keep fighting!"

Shaking my head we walked on in silence until Soojin poked my right side. "Hey...where are you going now? Home or~?"

"First to our work, then home. I still have to enter this month's payment of our boss and tomorrow I want to buy flowers for mom...Do you want to come along?" I looked at her and a street lamp showed her shaking head and a sad expression on her face. "I'm sorry, I have to work all day...Next time, yes?"

I nodded and turned left into a street while Soojin continued to walk forward. "See you tomorrow!"

"See you, unnie!" I shouted and waved, tightly hugging myself afterwards. The November has started to get colder than ever and all I was wearing was a long coat and some light clothing under it.

-

I knocked on the door and waited for some seconds before a tall, young man opened the door for me. "Jiwon? What are you still doing here?"

I closed the door behind me quietly and closed my coat a bit more. "I haven't been working until now in November...I have to enroll the November's payment and stuff."

Sanghoon nodded and I followed him. Lee Sanghoon was my boss' second hand and managed with him the small place here.

I knocked on my boss' door and entered quickly. "Hey, I have just come back...I have already been paid. I just want to tell it you and how much I got."

My boss nodded and cocked his head to the left, waving with his fingers over to him.

He put out some paper where name's stood, November fat and underlined above them.

"Gal...Ji...won...Okay, and?" he glanced at me, I just blinked. "$85..."

He nodded curtly. "How long?"

"Five hours...But he has been here for two already." I mumbled and once more, my boss nodded. "You can go now. Don't come late tomorrow."

"Lee Yongjoon...I wanted to visit my mother in the early morning...Can I come around 12am?" I in my lips as he massaged the bridge of his nose. "Jiwon ah, this happens a lot lately, you know?"

I cleared my throat softly. "But my mom...she's getting sicker and sicker every week!"

Yongjoon blew into the air as he put the shift-paper back into a drawer. "I won't always let you just go like this."

"Thank you, boss nim." I kissed his cheek and hugged him once before smiling and leaving his office.

When I left my work place I kicked the ground softly before sauntering my way home.

An uneasy feeling fell over me at the thought of my home. I always hoped my father wasn't drunk or in a bad mood. At times he slapped my mother and me, but now where my guardian angel has been gone, he only slapped me and pushed me around the house to do everything because he wouldn't for sure move one single finger in the household.

As I saw my house approaching I walked slower. So slow I thought I almost stopped walking yet I somehow arrived my backdoor and entered the normal sized detached house.

Quietly and not too fast I unlocked the door, locked it when I was inside again.

Two men laughter made me stop in my tracks and I closed my eyes hard, inhaling deeply. I moved my feet slowly, not too much, not too less, trying to avoid my father and his best friend Seungmin drinking in our living room.

"Jiwon ah! You're home! It's past-past 12 already!" my father shouted happily, hiccuped some parts of his sentences. I grimaced before turning back to face the two of them. "Yeah...work got late. I want to go to sleep. May I, 'majesty'?" I mocked him, only now noticing what I did, but he waved his hand after me. "All alrighty, daughter. Go sleep."

Without another sound I tip-toed upstairs and put off my coat. I hung it over my chair and made a messy bun into my hair before putting of my tank top, expensive lingerie and hot pants.

I changed into cozy sweat pants and an old t-shirt of mine before falling into my bed like a zombie. "Thank god, dad is today even too drunk."

-

I pulled all of my hair to the left side and entered the hospital in Yangju, my hometown.

I already knew which room and where to go to see my mom, so I just had to take the elevator to the third story and go straight left to the last room on the left. There laid my mother.

Knocking on the door, a nurse opened it. "Jiwon sshi! You're early today."

I just nodded and entered, smiling brighter than ever upon seeing my angel, my beloved mother.

"Umma! How are you doing? Look, I brought you red roses. I know you just love those!" I grinned and sat down next to her, caressing her arm. She weakly smiled, yet her eyes shone like two diamonds. "Oh, Jiji, that's so nice of you...I'm still weak, but I can walk better."

I exhaled lazily. "That's good to hear! Did something else happen?"

My mother thought for a second until she gulped loudly. "I had a nice breakfast...Here, eat my yogurt. I don't want it anymore." as she reached out for it I already snatched it off the tablet, so she wouldn't have to move.

"I'll eat it well!" I said, filled with joy, as I also took the small spoon in my hand, starting to swallow the sweet strawberry yogurt. "Yah~ it's good!" I turned to the back, to the nurse, "Very, very good yogurt, Miss!"

She smiled at me and I faced my mother again when she suddenly spoke up. "And? Something with you? How is work going?"

I swallowed the thick liquid down and my lips. "A lot to do in the office...but I'm doing good." I am trained and lie to my own mom. That's horrible.

"And...private life? A young man in sight?" she winked at me and I patted my mom's shoulder. "I'll tell you if one of those want to date me, alright?" we both laughed as I inhaled, continuing. "I have enough work to do right now. I'll think of love later on."

"Jiji ah, you're twenty-one years old...don't you want a husband and a future?" she tilted her head lightly and I tugged my hair behind my ear. "There's plenty of time...and plenty of guys."

She closed her eyes for a second. "But only one man that can make you smile. And this takes time. Not searching for just a man, but for finding the true love inside him."

I thought for a second, then nodded, keeping her sentence in my mind. Well, just in case.

"But let's not talk about this now. Let's bring up a happier topic. Isn't Soojin's birthday in some days or something? Congratulate her if I don't see her." a big smile was plastered on her face and I nodded eagerly. "I totally will, and I totally will drink one for you on her birthday party!"

We laughed loudly and she shook her head. "Don't get wasted, dear, alright?"

"Ma, I always go wasted." I showed teeth like forced, but smiled genuinely afterwards. Still, my mother just shook her head.

She then looked at the nurse. "Could you leave for some minutes?"

She obeyed and bowed slightly. "Call me if there's something wrong." The nurse then left.

My mother took my hand and I panicked already. She laughed dryly. "Before you ask, everything is alright. My data and levels and whatnot, everything is alright and I think I'm even getting better. But I just want to tell you...If I don't make it, don't be upset. This is the last I want, and this is a demand your mother is telling. Don't ever be sad about me. I would be seeing you cry, and it would break my heart, okay?"

I nodded minimally and she smiled sweetly. "You always smile when you come here...Please keep this smirk and smile on your face. It's so beautiful and it feels like you become even prettier with a smile on."

Again, I just nodded, a tear escaping my eyes. "Oh god, my eye is peeing..."

"Tell your eye it should first go to the toilet and not pee here." my mother shook her head with a raised chin and I giggled, wiping the tear away. My mom rubbed my arm with her cold, thin hand. "Don't you have work to do or something."

I shook my head. "I came early on purpose to spend more time here. I only have to work at around lunch time. It's alright. It's just 9am."

Again, she just responded with a soft smile and we kept on talking for the next hours.

My mom is never talking a lot while I visit her. At the end it's just me talking and talking and talking on for minutes without a break from speaking. Yet, she listens to me, and this means so much to me.

-

A/N: so ~ first chapter up ~ how is it already? just want to know before I write :DD
well, I'm still figuring out how long it should be not like in perfectly but as in 20 or 50 chps, you know, this kind of long and....yeahh...............just thanks for reading guys :D the next chapter will be better, other people will appear (((: btw, I'm tired of calculating how much won it'd be, so I'll just use $, if that's okay lol