the stage lights feels way too bright as jongin stands alone in the middle of the stage. the space that was once shared between the twelve of them now belongs to him, alone.

he makes out the shadows of kyungsoo and junmyeon sitting on the first row, waving exo's official gray balloon in support of his solo debut.

"3, 2, 1," the director shouts, and the music starts playing promptly at the cue alongside with the cheers from fans who have been waiting for way too long.

he can barely hear himself over the loud cheers, adrenaline coursing through his entire being as he loses himself to the music, executing every move perfectly even when his mind is blank. the performance ends before he gets to fully enjoy it, and he staggers slightly, hunching his back out of habit as he catches his breath. 

"good job," junmyeon tells him when they are settled in their van. "it was so much better than kyungsoo's solo last year." he chooses to ignore the angry glare from the younger boy, focusing on wiping the perspiration of jongin.

"where is sehun? did he come back?" jongin asks after a beat.

the atmosphere in the car shifts, leaving no traces of the initial celebratory mood. "i don't know, no one knows." junmyeon answers him quietly. their maknae has decided to quit sometime last year, vanishing without any goodbye.

"is it?" jongin asks, even though it sounds more like a question to himself rather than his two other team mates. 

"i want to be in a sub-unit with tao and jongin in the future" jongin remembers the youngest saying it years ago on a radio show when he is laying on his bed that night. 

a self-depreciating smile creeps up his face as he tosses on the bed to get rid of that thought. "aren't they all lies," he whispers to no one.