some things are not worth holding on to

It doesn't take much persuasion for Sehun to shove his belongings into his luggage, packing the last ten months of his life away. He has always loved their identical shoe size, being able to make the most of their money when they splurge on excessively expensive sportswear, but it grates on his nerves now as he tries to remember which are his and which are Chanyeol's. They don't say goodbye, Chanyeol standing inside the kitchen as he tries to hold onto all his belongings.

He slams the door shut, the loud noise it creates alleviating some of his anger. His luggage is heavy with memories, knocking on the back of his legs repeatedly as he pulls them down the stairs, uncaring about spoiling the relatively new bag. He shouldn't have brought so much stuff with him, not even when Park ing Chanyeol was the one carrying the bag at that time.



Night time finds Sehun sitting in a bar, draping himself over the counter top as he plays with the transparent drink.

"Did you two fight again?" Kyungsoo sighs as he slips into the seat next to Sehun, gesturing to the staff that he'll order later. He has seen this happen often enough, Sehun holed up somewhere trying to drink to oblivion whenever something happens with Chanyeol.

Sehun wags his fingers slowly, a lazy smile creeping onto his face. "Nope, we've broken up."

"Should I hook up with Kim Jongin? He has been dropping me hints for months." He moves closer to Kyungsoo, peering up at him through the lashes.

Even in the dim light, Kyungsoo can see the unshed tears b in the corner of Sehun's eyes. "Don't do things that you will regret later," he says, patting the younger boy's back. "Don't you all always argue? It might be the same this time round too." He straightens his spectacles wearily, feeling a migraine arising from having to mitigate their constant arguments.

"It's not." Sehun peels himself off the table, leaning forward precariously. "We're done for real this time." He chokes back a sob, hands coming up to wipe at his face furiously, "He spent the night at Jinri’s again yesterday."

Kyungsoo pulls his friend in, running his hands down Sehun's back as he whispers patiently. "You know that they're simply close friends right? And Jinri won't be interested in Chanyeol even if he stands in front of her ."

Sehun nods, his tears slipping down Kyungsoo's neck. "Then why are you still jealous every time they are together?" 

"I'm not jealous that they hang out together, I just want to feel important." 

"He left to console her yesterday night because she quarreled with her boyfriend, but he forgot that yesterday is my mum's birthday. I haven't seen her since they kicked me out," he confesses softly, picking at the thread of Kyungsoo's expensive shirt. " Maybe Kyungsoo has healing powers, Sehun thinks as the anger deflates in him as he lies in the other's arms. Or maybe, he finally learned that giving up isn't a bad thing.

"Sehun -"

"I'll be fine." Sehun hiccups, forcing himself to sit up straight. "We've dragged things out for long enough. It's time to let go."

"You know that Chanyeol loves you right?" 

Sehun smiles resignedly, gulping down the remnants of his drink. "I know, but his love is like paid channels and I can only afford the free channels on tv, so no matter how many times I try, I cannot find it. Rather than holding on, I think it'll be better to end this early."

"Aww, I didn't know you'll say stuff like this too." Kyungsoo coos loudly, messing Sehun's hair up on purpose. "Our Sehunie is all grown up." The other boy retaliates by grabbing his neck, dissipating the misery that was clinging onto his frame.

"Do you want to move in with me?" Kyungsoo asks later, earning a grateful nod. "Let's go then," he smiles, grabbing Sehun's arms to steady him.



He doesn't get a call from Chanyeol till a week later, asking him if he's still angry and if he wanted to talk. He might have agreed to it previously, letting Chanyeol win him over with his bright smile and promises of doing better in the future, but not anymore. His fingers hover over the delete contact button, erasing the last trace of the past they had together.

Right now, he wants to be the old Sehun, the one who knows how to be happy, the one who will become the most important person for his future boyfriend.