Many girls dream about their wedding day. To them, it is the day that revolves around them and their happiness... their love. Even from a young age, girls love to fantasize about what kind of dress they will wear, what the theme and colors will be, and who their bridesmaids will be out of their selection of friends.  When I was younger, my friends would talk about their weddings on a daily basis. I, however, found their conversations boring, or in other words, "lame."

I wasn't like my friends, in a lot of aspects. I was for one, prideful. I always had to have the last say. But at the same time, I was a push over and a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to be the center of everyone's attention... like a lost puppy. If people were proud of me, I was happy. If they were disappointed with me, I was broken. But once again, this is not the subject at hand, so I shall refrain from speaking of it.

The one thing, I would have to say, which distinguished me from my friends, was the fact that I enjoyed boyish things over girly things. They loved talking about their crushes and flirting with them, while I was there yelling and wrestling with them... I guess I was a bit too hard headed to see that arguing with guys all the time would give me a bad reputation in the future. The guy I mainly beat up was an old crush, but after we had gotten out of that age group, when we became teens, we stopped talking. We only started talking again recently.

My friends were all beautiful, talented, and smart. But those qualities weren't the things I was most jealous of. The thing I was most jealous of, was the fact that they were loved by everyone. There was a "In-crowd". Later I realized that there shouldn't have been one; that having cliques like that was wrong and created segregation, but that's besides the point. There were the In-crowd. The popular kids who's parents were well known and successful. I on the other hand, was not like them. I wasn't popular, I was noticed because I was their friend. So for a time, I grew up in this clique.

Don't get me wrong. I love them so much. I would gladly die for each and every one of them if it came to that. But.... I don't think they see me the same way I see them. Our relationships aren't the same as they use to be.

We always hung out. And I mean, always. We went to school together, did homework together, danced together, served together, worked together, watched kids together, celebrated each other's birthdays, everything we did was together. We grew up together, and soon we became teenagers in the blink of an eye.

I find teenagers strange, although I still am one, so I guess I can't re