Ps:Sorry for the short chapter. I promise to post more chapters as quickly as possible!

            I remember waking up being drenched in my own sweat. It felt as if my own guilt was seeping out of my pores and wanted to make me drown. I had the same exact nightmare every night ever since I left them and to make the pain even worse every time I woke up I was always expecting for my sister to run into my room and make sure I was alright. But as I stared at the closed door of my bedroom with hopeful eyes that would start to fade once I realized where I was and how I was left alone in my room to battle my own demons.

            My room was small and it only had a single bed with blue sheets and a chair and a desk that had songs that I written in a neat pile the only thing that was missing from my room was my guitar. My room scratch that, my whole apartment was usually dark because I didn’t have any money to pay for electricity. I was still trying to pay my loans for my apartment. With the one job I had that actually paid pretty well. I wished that I could get another job but I knew I wouldn’t have any time to.

            It was just another normal Saturday morning with me getting ready for work and trying hard to forget the terrible nightmare. The apartment was very drab and the carpet seemed to have the color beaten out of it, the sofa set really was nothing to be proud of same with the loans pilling up on my kitchen table. I remember when I first moved in I was so excited to have freedom but as the bills started rapidly coming in my positivity seemed to be wearing away and was replaced by this nauseating loneliness and a sense of despair.

            As usual I left my apartment with my briefcase to go to work as I walked outside it looked like it was about to rain so instead of walking I took the bus as I looked out the window of the bus, the buildings seemed to be made out of stone like prison walls as if I was on a life sentence of forever feeling disgusted with myself. It took me such a long time to get over the guilt of leaving the way I did, but that was years after this. After I truly fixed my relationship with my family and I finally made my dreams come true. It was my guitar, my mistakes, and my yellow balloon that finally got my heart out of the filthy sewer of muck and helped me to the surface to finally see the sunrise through the blackened trees. But right now at that moment I was just another sad pathetic clown.

            I got off the bus sluggishly ready to do my job. It was just another day as a clown. As I walked in families were seated at tables laughing with bright hopeful smiles on their faces excited to see the smiling clown. I loved working here in the beginning, I felt so happy being able to just give a simple balloon to a child and just make there day. I always wished I could be that innocent again so something just as simple as a balloon could make everything better. But before I could put on the outfit my boss called into me his office for the worse news of my life.