“So, Tao…” Wufan started uncomfortably one night. It had been just over a week and a half since Yixing had given him the all-clear, and Zitao had started resuming his usual routine and going back to work. Wufan had been more or less left to his own devices throughout the day provided he did all the household chores, and he’d taken to exercising in an effort to build up his health and strength. He ate well, worked hard, and slept plenty of hours. It was a comfortable life but it left him with a nagging thought that he’d have to leave soon and return to his gang.

It wasn’t that he was eager to return to his old life, far from it in fact, but he knew he couldn’t continue to live with Zitao, especially seeing as he knew he’d been nothing but a burden from day one despite what Zitao had said. It also bothered him that there was absolutely nothing he could do to repay Zitao for all he had done, or Yixing either for that matter. Yet he knew that the inevitable moment was coming, that sooner rather than later he’d have to leave the little apartment room and the company of one of the kindest person he’d ever known.

“What’s up, Kris?” Zitao asked in a friendly manner.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I really think I should be leaving soon. I mean, it’s not that I don’t enjoy being here, I really love your company and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me more than I could ever say and all that, but I think that it’s just not fair on you to keep having to support me forever. I just… I think I should go back.” Wufan finished lamely, looking more than uncomfortable.

Zitao listened to him in silence, his expression gradually growing from one of happiness to one of distaste. When Wufan finished speaking, Zitao let the silence stretch, staring at his friend unhappily through narrowed eyes.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” he asked slowly.

Wufan looked bewildered. “Well you know I have to go back to my old life at some point, right?”

Zitao shook his head sharply. “No. No you don’t.”

Wufan took a deep breath and was about to argue, but he saw the irritation in his friend’s eyes and realised angry Zitao was not someone he really wanted to meet. While Wufan was thinking this over, Zitao sighed, making a visible effort to control his irritation.

“Look Tao, you can’t keep-“ Wufan began.

“I’m sorry Kris. We’ll talk about this further when you’re fully healed up, okay? Until then, please just stay here and take care of yourself. Look at it this way. You’re doing me a favour. I’d much rather know you’re recovering safely at my place than you being back in god-knows-where struggling to even walk properly.”

Zitao walked past him into his bedroom, leaving Wufan to stare at his retreating back. Zitao’s last remark had left the elder puzzled. When did he get so attached? Wufan wondered, then shrugged. It was nice to have someone who cared about him, he thought not for the first time. Still, as Wufan cast his gaze out over the city, he couldn’t help but worry for his old gang members back in the alleyways, dimly wondering if the figures he could see roaming around on the ground were members. Do they miss me? He asked the city, then answered his own question. Probably not.

“It looks like it’s been painted greyscale, doesn’t it?” Zitao asked from somewhere behind Wufan.

“What?”

“The city. Don’t you think it looks like someone painted it entirely grey?”

Wufan turned back looked at Zitao calmly, studying him through deep brown eyes. “Yeah, I guess it does,” he rumbled.

Zitao didn’t reply, meeting Wufan’s gaze, then looking back to the city, then to his friend. The night had very much robbed Wufan’s body and clothes of colour, making him look like a seamless addition to the tranquility of the dark city. Wufan fit in with the beauty of the greyscale world quite nicely, Zitao realised with a small smile, and he was prepared to work hard to make things stay that way.

~

“Kris! I’m going out with my friends! Don’t wait up for me!” Zitao’s voice was cheerful, almost triumphant as he left the apartment. It was a Friday night and after a hard week of work Zitao was happy to be spending the time drinking with his friends. Wufan was just as happy to be staying home in the warmth of the cosy little apartment.

“Bye, Tao.” Wufan replied belatedly, without looking away from the TV screen. Despite what Zitao had said just moments earlier, Wufan fully planned on waiting up for his friend to come home. It may have been paranoid of him, but he just wasn’t willing to take any chances.

At 2.30 in the morning Wufan’s vision was beginning to blur slightly and tiredness threatened to pull him into sleep. There was no sign of Zitao. Frowning, Wufan got up and fumbled around for the home phone, flipping through the notepad besides it until he found Zitao’s number. He dialled the number and waited patiently. When Zitao’s pre-recorded voice message began to apologise for his not picking up the phone, Wufan growled in irritation and tried to suppress the anxiety growing in his belly.

“He’s never picked up the phone before, why would he start now?” Wufan tried to reason with himself, his voice sounding hollow and nervous. Instead he called Luhan’s mobile, and sighed in relief when he heard Luhan pick up.

“Ugh, who’s this?” a slurred, groggy voice settled on Wufan’s ears and he confirmed it to be Luhan’s.

“It’s Kris, is Tao still with you?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

“Kris, Tao left here about an hour ago,” Luhan said flatly, “Isn’t he home?”

“No,” Wufan replied, immediately feeling panic seize him, “I haven’t seen him since he left home about 8 hours ago.”

Luhan was silent for a few moments, “Well I don’t – hic ­– ugh, he told me the bar we were in was close to your apartment and he said he was just gonna walk.”

Wufan cut him off before he could keep on with his drunken ramble, “Thanks Luhan. I’m gonna go find him. Let me know if he contacts you or you hear anything from him, okay?”

Luhan made an incomprehensible noise on the other end of the line and hung up.

Wufan almost threw the phone back onto the counter and wrung his hands nervously. Desperate to figure out where Zitao was, he listed off locations in his head and decided to search himself. Anything could have happened to his friend within the space of an hour, Wufan knew that better than just about anyone, and so it was he set off by himself.

Wufan drove through the streets slowly – partially because of the weakness in his leg, and partially because he didn’t want to miss Zitao should he be wandering the city streets. He visited bar after bar and club after club asking after his friend, but to no avail. The panic was well and truly gripping him at that point, and he left the car to search on foot.

“Maybe he just passed out in the gutter, or took a nap on a bench somewhere,” Wufan reasoned with himself, but as time wore on and there was still absolutely no sign of Zitao, he was forced to face the fact that something sinister may have happened to his friend. Wufan leaned against a brick wall in exhaustion, physically and emotionally drained. The urge to curl up in a ball and whimper for Zitao was almost overwhelming, but Wufan forced himself to steel his nerves. There was one place left he hadn’t searched yet, and he knew he wouldn’t be welcome, but he had to do it. He made up his mind, lurched unsteadily off the wall, and headed slowly in the direction of gang territory.

(david attenborough whispers) the rare nekopan chapter update crawls through the sprawling wild expanse of asianfanfics. watch as it habitually disappears into a hole in the internet. at this time of year, like most other times of year, it likely will not re-emerge for some time.