“What happens if it’s raining?” I asked randomly at the next morning when I was lying on the roof with Minwoo. He declined my demand to see Hyesung today, so I was left with the only option I had – rolling around on the roof and staring at the bright sky in a full grumpy mood.

“All get wet?” Minwoo answered rather puzzled.

“I mean, what happens with me if it’s raining?” I couldn’t help but rolling my eyes while saying that. What an original answer! And this angel dared to call me idiot?

“Oh, nothing’s much, actually. You won’t be affected. You won’t get wet or felt cold by it, you won’t even touched the droplets. But maybe your visions will go blur.” Minwoo shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.” It was my turn to shrug my shoulders. “But it sounds… sad, to be trapped on the roof when it’s raining.” I mumbled absentmindedly.

“You can say that.” Minwoo mumbled with me.

I involuntarily shuddered by the thought. I didn’t even want to imagine how it feels – right after you learned that you just left everyone you love behind, you would have to stay on someone’s roof under the pouring rain. Whatever Minwoo had said about you couldn’t feel the droplets, it must have been felt so very cold. Hell, the feeling must have been way more cruel than just cold.

“Then why you guys don’t invent a more convenient way? I mean, rather than sitting on the roof all day, why don’t you take us over the cloud or some special place where it’s nice and warm?” And as I talked my mind already pictured a nice sunny beach with white sands.

“You think you’re on a vacation?” Minwoo snorted. “And didn’t you pay attention to what I have said before? This is the highest point you could reach for now before you can go through. Sorry, but no other options. And forget about the cloud, there are so many thunders all day and night. Oh, and the air is so humid up there. Definitely not nice or warm, let me tell you.” Minwoo ended his explanation with shaking his head firmly.

“Still, cloud sounds and seems better than roof.” I argued one last time before let my mind wanders again.

***

“Sorry.. ” I muttered slowly while giving him the brand new disposal towel I just purchased.

“It’s not your fault that it’s raining today.” Hyesung answered dryly when he took the towel from me. Then he silently started to rip the package open. I watched him dabbed the white towel to his face (carefully) and to his hair (more carefully). He kept shutting his mouth and refused to look at me. He was purposely dabbing his hair very slowly to drag the time – making me dying in anxiety. I knew he was a bit upset. Today was supposed to be our first date, but the rain ruined everything. No, maybe it was me who ruined everything.

I thought it would be nice to take him to the movie today, so I bought two tickets for us. Pretty standard date, I know. But I hadn’t any experience in dating before – I was as clueless as hell when it comes to dating. Honestly, I still couldn’t believe that Hyesung said yes when I asked him to go out with me today. Well, since he said he only dating me to get rid of me, I’ve never expected any kind of cooperative act from him. But even though I emphasized the word ‘date’ three times to him (just to make sure that he didn’t hear it wrong), he said yes.

And because I was afraid that we would be late for the movie, so I told Hyesung to meet at 3 pm when the movie would not started until 5 pm. His jaw was dropping and then he spontaneously rolled his eyes when he knew the truth. So here we were, standing at the theater hall with nothing to do for the next two hours. His eyes were squinting disapprovingly and then he pouted.

“So what are we going to do to kill those two hours? Don’t say that we’ll just sit and wait here.” Hyesung said in disbelief.

“Uh, um.. We could eat when we’re waiting or walk around here, maybe?” I said stupidly because honestly, ‘sit and wait’ was my initial plan. Dammit, our date was just begun and I already did something unpleasant to him.

“I don’t feel like eating now.” Hyesung shrugged his shoulders. He shoved his hands inside his jacket pockets while weakly saying, “Let’s walk around here then.” He then turned and exited the theater.

Eric Mun, you should be punished because of your stupidity! I cursed at myself as I began following him out the building.

There was a park across the theater and Hyesung walked straight to that place. I followed him silently just slightly behind when my mind was busy trying to find a good topic to bring out. We walked mindlessly in total silence. I used to be so talkative before, why suddenly I was so lost of what to say like an idiot now? Should I begin talk about the weather?

“I think it’s going to rain.” Hyesung said slowly out of the blue.

Eh? Hyesung talked about the weather? I lifted my gaze to the sky anyway. He was right, the dark cloud appeared as the heavy thick canopy above us now. I felt cold breezes blow from side to side – making the leaves flew in few little spirals. I shifted my stare back to Hyesung and found him fixing the small strand of his hair back his ear. I blinked doubtfully when one crazy thought arose to my mind.

Could it be? That Hyesung was nervous right now?

“Yeah, I think it’s going to rain.” I responded stupidly after a few seconds passed with me never retreat my gaze on him. He lowered his head uncomfortably, knowing that I stared intently at him. I looked away because of that. Only then I realized that we were alone in this park. There was no one around us. I thought I saw some people when I entered the park few minutes ago, but now the place was suddenly empty. I wondered when exactly they were leaving because I didn’t realize it. Maybe I didn’t realize that the people were leaving because I was too caught up with my own mind.

“Should we go back?” I asked when another cold breeze blew. Why the weather changed so suddenly like this? When I left my house, it was still sunny and all.

“Okay.” Hyesung said shortly and turned away to leave without hesitating.

But we never made it to leave the park, because in only a few seconds the rain suddenly fell. As if the sky wanted to joke with me, the wondrous numbers of water was poured heavily at us. We ran as fast as we could while spitting curse words all the while. No matter how hard we tried to cover our head with our jacket, the cold water tenaciously dripped through our hands and the fabric – straight to our skin.

We must have been looked stupid. Two skinny boys running grumpily under the rain in the park. Where were the shelters when we needed it the most?

“There!” Hyesung shouted and pointed to one bench under the tree. I hurriedly ran following his lead and not hesitate to look for a shelter under it. Fortunately, the tree gave enough protection from the rain. We sat on the small bench with our shoulder pressed at each other. Not that I complaint, though. Sitting close next to Hyesung was nice, even though it made my heart drumming too rapidly I thought it would burst and collapse in any moment.

“Are you cold?” I asked.

“Of course I’m cold.” He muttered.

“You may take my jacket.” I suggested right away.

“Forget it, I won’t fall for it.” And then he unexpectedly chuckled. “We really have thin luck, don’t we?” I only shrugged my shoulders and stared at his wet head. His hairs were clinging on his head and cheeks, with water dripped from his wet hair – oh my, his precious hair was ruined. His blue jacket was heavily drenched and I observed how he uselessly tried to make his hands warmer by shoving them inside the pockets. His feet continuously tapped the ground rather nervously all the time. I frowned when I saw his face. His usual bright face now turned blue and his lips were also shivering and blue. Really, I felt so guilty right now.

And without thinking, I took his hands and cupped them in between mine. I caressed his hands and blew them in between the caressing – in hope it would make him feels warmer. He didn’t fight me whatsoever and just let me. I didn’t dare to look up and see his expression though, so I wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not.

“Feeling better?” I asked after some times.

“Yeah, that helps a lot.” His voice wasn’t trembling like before. I lifted my gaze but couldn’t read his expression. He stared straight at me with a blank look even though I thought he held back a vague smile. He could pull his hands away at any time, but he didn’t. Instead, he asked softly, “How about you?”

“I’m fine.” 

I thought he was about to respond, but he canceled it right away. Instead, he looked away and watched the pouring rain. “I think the rain won’t stop any soon.” He said slowly.

“Unfortunately, you’re right. It won’t stop any time soon.” I kept holding his hands as I talked.

“Let’s just wait until the rain stops then.” I heard him mumbled slowly. I nodded and resumed to hold his hands all the time. We awkwardly diverted our gaze at any direction but at each other. But at the same time, we never parted our hands – with both of his hands were clasped between mine. And so we waited for the rain to stop – but once again, as if the sky wanted to joke with me today, the heavy rain lasted for more than two hours.

When the rain finally stopped, we hurriedly walked back to the theater. But no matter how we paced our steps, in the end we were late for the movie. When we got there, we already late for more than half an hour and Hyesung said he didn’t want to watch the movie anymore. He shook his head and reasoned that he didn’t want to sit inside the air conditioned room when he was still drenched.

“I’m so cold right now.” He stuttered. “Let’s go find something hot.” He said when he once again turned and exited the theater.

And that was why we ended up in this convenience store. I purchased disposal towel, hot coffee and cup noodles for us. Hot coffee and ramyun were the best when it’s raining, I believed. He put the towel on the back of his neck to prevent the water dripping from his hair to his jacket.

“Are you always this quiet when on a date?” He asked slowly when dipping his chopstick to his steaming ramyun.

“Um.. I never dated before.” I mumbled even slower. Damn, now that I said it with my own mouth like this, it sounded so embarrassing.  So I tried to cover my ashamed state by opening kimchi packaged for us.

“Liar.” He said spontaneously.  

“No, I’m not lying.”

“Really?” He said in disbelief and louder than my liking. I had no other choice than nod. “And here you were, spent your first date getting drenched of the rain.” He said amused and unexpectedly, then he chuckled a bit. “How unfortunate.” He said rather mockingly.

“No, I spent my first date sitting close with you and holding your hands for more than two hours. Today is one fortunate first date, in my opinion.” I bluntly said without thinking and I watched him blushed because of that.

“Shut up.” He hissed lowly before focused on his noodles again.

Now it was my turn to giggle.

“Admit it, today wasn’t that bad.” I said jokingly and surprised to see him blushing even more.

He doesn’t mad, I thought. It means he also finds that today wasn’t bad at all?

“I never say that today was doomed.” He finally said with forced dignity. His blushing cheeks betrayed his will anyway. “Actually it was you who frowned all the way.”

“Because I thought you were mad at me.”

“Why would I mad at you? It was just rain, Eric.” He chuckled now.

I observed the person who sat beside me with a thousand questions inside my head. This same person said he only dating me to get rid of me – to stop me from waiting him in front of his school ever again. And yet, right now he was chuckling beside me as if he really likes my company. At that moment I realized, Shin Hyesung is unpredictable and very hard to read.

It seemed like he purposely hides his feelings and misleads me to assume the opposite.

I didn’t know his aim by doing that, but I knew I wouldn’t let him.

“Just so you know Hyesung-ah, I won’t give up.”

I saw how his jaw dropped immediately and for a second, he froze. Then I realized, I just said those words out loud. Oh, .

He gulped before looked straight at me. “I still think we shouldn’t do this.” He said bitterly but I knew he meant every word of it.

“You don’t even give us a chance and time to get to know each other. Instead, you build a wall around you. Are you that afraid?” I whispered to him.

He nodded.

“What of?”

“Everything? The people. The stare. My family and friends’ reaction.” He answered weakly. “And the possibility of being hurt.” He added very very slowly.

And then it was silence. He lowered his head and began playing with his noodles. There was no other customer inside this convenience store and the convenience store clerk was behind the counter at the other corner. The only sound I could hear was the faint hum of refrigerator near us. I kept looking at him even though I didn’t have anything to say to him.

“Someday, you will find out that I am not as good as you think I am.” He suddenly mumbled slowly but somehow very clearly.

“Have you ever checked yourself in the mirror, Shin Hyesung?” I noticed he smiled lightly because of that. “Trust me, looking for someone’s faulty is not my hobby. So you don’t need to worry about that.” I said easily and shrugged my shoulders.

“But nothing lasts forever, you know that.”

“I’m sincere with you, that what you need to know.”

“I know.” Again, the faint smile on his face appeared when he stared at me.  

“I will never say goodbye before you say it.” I said firmly before I could stop myself. One second later, I realized how cheesy my words sound. Old story of me and my blunt mouth. But almost immediately I forgot the embarrassment when I saw him smiling shyly.

“Oh my God, you’re so impossibly cheesy!” He shook his head and chuckled nervously. But then he smiled. He turned away and diverted his gaze back to his noodles, but the smile of him was definitely true.

“As long as you believe me.”

“Oh my, I know I made a mistake the second I complied on you. Now I really can’t get rid of you.” He sighed before began eating his noodles again. He blew and chewed his noodles to hide the small smile that kept appearing on his face. The smile that was contagious, I found myself grinning because of that.

I didn’t know how to explain this – but hearing him saying those harsh words actually made me smile and beamed in satisfaction. I think I should start getting used of his ambiguous words by now – reading the meaning behind his words. But as we continued to sip our coffee that afternoon, I knew that this could be a good beginning of us.

***

“Why did you ask about the rain? Do you have bad memories about the rain?” Minwoo asked carefully and cut my thought.

“Nope, not at all. Truthfully, I like the rain.” I smiled when once again that smile of Hyesung appeared in my mind. “Good things could also happen when it was raining.”