“Hey!” Kyungsoo breathes, sliding into the teachers’ lounge just before the doors shut behind Jongin. “What are you doing here so bright and early?”

“Any sign of Jongdae?” Yixing asks as he peers over the top of his cubicle, eyes twinkling.

Kyungsoo looks up from folders of sheet music, scanning the office. About everyone was already present, fifteen minutes before the first bell; yet Jongdae and Kris were missing.

“Oh god, what did you do?” Baekhyun asks, sliding over surprisingly quickly in his rolling chair.

“Now, now, let’s not jump to conclusions. It was a simple question.”

Chanyeol bounds over, leaning over Baekhyun chair to fix Yixing with a withering look. “I knew you were up to no good when we found you hiding under his desk.”

“Wait, what?” Kyungsoo inquires, eyebrows furrowing. “When were you under Jongdae’s desk?”

Yixing smirks. “I was never under his desk. Chanyeol’s crazy, don’t listen to him.”

Kyungsoo swivels around in his chair, eyeing Yixing. “You know, when I first joined this company I thought you were the normal one. But you’re almost as scary as Luhan.”

As soon as the words leave Kyungsoo’s mouth, a handful of freeze dried peas shot across the room, hitting Yixing smack in the nose.

“ing ow.”

Kyungsoo massages his temples as Luhan unsteadily clambers on top of the chair in his cubicle so that he towers over all the dividers and is clearly seen by everyone.

“EVERYONE LISTEN UP!” the baby-faced demon announces obnoxiously.

There is a collective groan in the lounge.

“Every time someone says my name today, a handful of these freeze dried peas will be thrown at Yixing for keeping me up last night! Enjoy!” The Chinese unsteadily hops off the chair, swaying dangerously.

“I thought he was more angry at Kris,” Kyungsoo whispers to Jongin, who is still milling around nonchalantly in the back of his cubicle.

“Yeah, but he can’t harass Kris.”

Yixing wipes off his face with disdain. “It’s not my fault he doesn’t get any!” he seethes.

Luhan is back on top of his chair in record time, seething. “What did you say!?” he hisses.

“You’re jealous of my life.”

“Oooh, watcha gonna do Luhan? You can’t just sit there and take it!” Sehun eggs the Chinese man on.

Sehun begins repeating Luhan’s name like a mantra, giggling behind his hand.

“Sehun, NO!” Yixing wails, crouching down as the onslaught of peas heads his way.

“Hey, do you hear that?” Tao asks over the noise, turning to face the door. “It sounds kind of like Kris.”

“Well it’s kind of hard to hear anything with those idiots over there.” Minseok points out, wincing at Luhan and Yixing’s antics.

“Why are the peas so hard!?” Yixing sobs.

Soon enough though, Kyungsoo can hear muffled grunting and cries for help, and something that sounds suspiciously like Jongdae’s laughter.

The door slams open with a resounding bang and Jongdae saunters in, wiggling his hips suggestively.

“Hey guys,” he grins, shaking his eyebrows in time with his footsteps.

Luhan stops throwing peas to stare with disapproval at the greasy entrance.

“Oh my god Jongdae please stop doing that.” Baekhyun groans.

The door opens again, this time significantly more quietly, and Kris falls through, gagging, spit flying out of his mouth and dripping onto the carpet.

“I left the apartment literally five minutes before you, what could’ve possibly happened?” Yixing deadpans, staring at his lover with exasperation.

“Kris. This carpet is frenching expensive!” Joonmyun reprimands, shaking his head.

“What.”

Joonmyun smiles brightly, sitting up straight in his seat and clearing his throat. “Funny you should ask, dear Kris. EVERYBODY, QUIET DOWN!”

The room is quiet except for the sound of Kris hacking.

 “I’ve decided to integrate a new procedure in this staff family. Does anyone want to take a stab at what it is?”

The teacher’s lounge is completely silent.

“Alright, alright, Chanyeol! Calm down, just a simple hand raise will do!” Chanyeol looks around the room, confused. “What do you think the procedure is?”

“No more gay ?”

“What?”

“Did I say something?”

Joonmyun coughs, shakes his head, and continues. “Close, but not quite! Our new policy is zero tolerance for cussing! Every time I hear one of you cuss, a dime must go into the No-No jar.” Joonmyun fishes around violently in his messenger bag before pulling out a glass fishbowl, decorated with yellow finger paint and shaky red sharpie. “This policy will also help integrate the use of more uncommon vocabulary into the room. Lately, it’s been hard to deal with all the bad vibes coming from the negative energy in here.”

“Sorry, Bob Marley.” Sehun snickers.

“I’m ing gagging over here and you’re having this conversation about bad ing vibes!?”

“That’ll be 20 cents in the No-No jar, Yifan.”

Kris staggers into his office, clutching the walls for support. “That child,” he points sloppily to the back, where Jongdae is making his way to his cubicle. “Is the devil!”

There is a brief moment of silence while Jongdae and Kris make their ways into their respective rooms, punctuated only by a low chuckle, courtesy of Yixing. Kyungsoo locks eyes with Jongin, cringing.

A few more seconds pass before the loudest and highest pitched scream Kyungsoo has ever heard in his existence echoes through the whole room.

And, to his surprise, Jongdae is the one who stumbles out of his cubicle, all limbs flailing, and promptly trips over the leg of Baekhyun’s rolling chair, falling straight into Joonmyun’s lap.

Joonmyun blushes a brilliant red, (Kyungsoo has actually never seen the assistant principle blush before) and Jongdae pushes himself away frantically, falling straight onto his back and curling up into a fetal position on the (frenching) carpet.

“Jongdae! Holy are you okay!?”

“Kyungsoo! Ten cents!”

Kyungsoo ignores Joonmyun and crouches down over Jongdae whose ears are a furious fire engine read, sharp cheekbones pressed into the floor.

“Kyungsoo,” the vocal trainer whimpers, eyes squeezed shut. “Kill me. Just do it right now. It won’t be a big deal. I’ll pass on like a candle in the wind.”

“Why is it always the Elton John songs?” Baekhyun groans.

Joonmyun joins Kyungsoo, kneeling down beside Jongdae with concern. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks.

“Hey, are you hard?” Yixing adds.

Joonmyun reaches a tentative hand out to touch Jongdae’s jaw, but as soon as their skin makes contact the singer scrambles backwards on all fours, face practically glowing red.

“D-don’t touch me!”

“Did I do something?” Joonmyun asks, eyes wide.

Jongdae curls into a ball and rocks back and forth, whispering to himself quietly.

“…I’d go look in his office but honestly, I’m a bit scared.” Minseok mutters.

Joonmyun sighs and stands up, brushing past a smirking Yixing to peer inside Jongdae’s office.

He stands at the door for a few seconds, expressionless, before he starts shaking.

Kyungsoo watches with wide eyes as the man trembles, his whole face turning pink.

Joonmyun turns slowly, hand grasping the doorframe. “Why,” he whispers, voice cracking. “Why is Jongdae’s room covered in pictures of me?”

Kyungsoo is up with the rest of the staff body, rushing over the Jongdae’s cubicle to take a look. Surely enough, there is Joonmyun, in all his glory, a cutout lying on Jongdae’s desk, a life-sized version its lips from the filing cabinet, a variety of posters on the wall; gender bender Joonmyun with a girls body, Joonmyun on the door, a close up view of Joonmyun’s abs on the floor, even a giant laminated poster of Joonmyun’s face plastered onto the ceiling, staring down at the room with a signature wink.

Kyungsoo stares, eyes wider than they’d ever been before, as Sehun, Luhan, Chanyeol and Baekhyun roll on the floor in laughter with Yixing, and the rest of them look on in mild horror.

 “How’d you even get these!? I don’t take nudies!”

“Photoshopped your face onto men’s bodies, courtesy of the internet.” Yixing chokes out between laughter.

“Aw man, how didn’t I think of that?” Luhan asks, shoulders slumping.

“But why is my face on a black man’s body!?”

Yixing’s laughter continues, even as the first bell rings and everyone starts leaving the room, including Jongdae, who slowly manages to crawl into the hallway, choking on his own saliva.

“I’ve never been outdone before,” Kyungsoo catches him whispering to a straight-faced Tao. “I can’t breathe.”

In the commotion, he barely notices Kris sitting alone in the middle of the room, staring at his desktop keyboard blankly.

“Why is my keyboard growing plants?” the principle whispers to himself. “Is this a sign from God?”

Kyungsoo nudges Jongin and the two of them discreetly watch the blonde man from the doorway.

“Speak to me, keyboard. SPEAK!”

“I think-”

“You do that?”

“Haha, very funny Jongdae. I’m not the one who got schooled today.”

“Schooled!? Who even says that anymore!?”

“Like you’re the one to talk about current slang trends. You quoted Elton John this morning.”

“This morning was a dark time. We will not speak of it.”

Luhan rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I bet you are all wondering why I gathered you here today.”

“Not really. We always meet in this janitor’s closet in the last half of study hall.”

“Did I ask for your input, Sehun?”

“No.”

“Good. I think it’s about time that we approach the subject of- drumroll please, Sehun- a new recruit!”

“Wait- why are you acting like you gathered us here? I thought we agreed that the two of us would be co-leaders of this secret society, and Sehun would be our lackey.” Jongdae complains.

“Now is not time to discuss our society’s inner relations, Jongdae!”

“Uh, can you guys hurry up? My arms are hurting.” Sehun interjects, still tapping his two pens against the wall rapidly.

“You could’ve stopped right after I said ‘a new recruit’.” Luhan sighs.

Sehun put down his makeshift drumsticks with a sigh of relief. “Drumming is so hard, man.”

“No, Sehun. Just no.” Jongdae sighs, shaking his head.

Luhan waits for the two of them to stop bantering. There was a long list of things the Pranking Club had to get done in these 25 minutes, and it was stressing him out.

Organizing and taking charge of a secret organization was hard work as it was, and on top of Luhan’s job and his extracurricular activities of surfing Tumblr, his days turned out to be extremely busy.

“I’m sure all of you witnessed this morning’s incident.” Luhan starts once the cramped closet has fallen silent. 

“Yes. I was the victim.” Jongdae whispers, shuddering.

“And the conductor of this beautiful misconduct was none other than Yixing, my best friend, yet worst enemy.”

“Can we skip all these fancy introductions? We all know you want to recruit Yixing into the pranking club.”

“Once again, Sehun, did I ask for your input!?”

“No, but you needed it.”

Luhan sighs, pressing a hand to his temple. His life was so hard, really.

“Okay, fine. We need to recruit Yixing into the Pranking Club. But the question is, how?”

“We have to give him an incentive,” Sehun suggests. “Something that’ll make him want to join.”

“Someone’s been studying their SAT handbook!” Jongdae coos.

“I already have my degree!” Sehun spits.

“Shut up, you’re still a kid. Treat me with respect.”

“Can we focus here?” Luhan growls. “I think that’s a good idea, Sehun. But what sort of incentive are you thinking of?”

“Well, what does Yixing care about?” Sehun asks. “You know him best.”

“Um. He cares about money. And, Kris. And dancing?”

“Seriously, that’s it?”

“Oh! He cares about his motorcycle.”

“Yixing has a motorcycle?”

“Hell yeah, he keeps it shielded away from all of us, but once I saw him singing to it. He paid me to keep quiet about it.”

“You know what I think?” Jongdae begins, a slow smirk working its way to his face.

“I don’t really care what you think, but go ahead, I guess.” Luhan replies.

“I think instead of giving him an incentive to make him want to join… we force him to join. We don’t bribe him- the Pranking Club is above that. We should hold his motorcycle hostage. It’ll be like a ransom, except instead of paying us money, he has to pay us membership.”

“Your traumatic experiences have made you strong, Jongdae,” Luhan whispers, eyes shining by the light of the flickering light bulb swaying dangerously above them in the closet. “Pranking Club, let’s bring it in!”

“DESTROYING NOOBS EVERYWHERE, BY THE PRANKING CLUB WE SWEAR!” the three shout in unison.

Jongin has just pried open the lid of his container of bibimbap when Yixing abruptly slides into the seat next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder swiftly.

“Uh… can I help you?” Jongin asks, raising an eyebrow.

Yixing grins, dimples showing through.

Jongin sighs. He can never resist the dimples.

“Have you watched those choreography videos I sent you?” the Chinese man asks.

“Oh, yeah,” Jongin replies. “They were really good! You’ll have to teach me a few of those moves- and how exactly is the mood of that piece supposed to feel? Like I couldn’t really tell if it was supposed to be angry or just really energetic and powerful-”

“Hey listen, that’s great and all, and I'mma let you finish, but,” Yixing’s voice dropped to a whisper. “What’s Sehun’s email address?”

Jongin wrestles his way out of Yixing’s grasp, eyes narrowing. “Why do you even pretend like you came here for normal conversation. This is so obviously another retarded plan of yours.”

“I don’t know about the word ‘retarded’. If you substituted that for ‘witty’ or ‘extremely funny’ that statement could be passable.”

“Just ask Luhan, he’ll know.”

“Keep your voice down!” Yixing hisses. “It’s been a peanful day, if you get my drift.”

“Um, what?”

“Get it? Like painful, but I replaced the ‘pain’ with ‘pea’?”

“You need Jesus.”

“Anyway! I need his email address and no one who I trust enough to ask knows it, because, well, no one really uses email these days anyway. Besides, like, Joonmyun. But he’s a dweeb.”

“Why don’t you just look for his file? It’ll be in there. Kris should have it somewhere.”

“Kris is out getting a new computer and he got a new lock on his door. And I can’t really wait.”

“I’ll tell you his email if you tell me what you’re up to.”

Yixing leans in really, really close, as in way too close for comfort, and Jongin is reminded of yesterday’s confrontation from Luhan, Sehun and Jongdae. He briefly wonders why Yixing isn’t in their little clique of evilness.

“Listen here, kid.” Yixing starts. He smells like peas and Jongin is mildly repulsed. “I’m going to make a deal with you.”

“Oh dear God.”

“Yes, yes, I know I’m your God-”

“That’s- that’s not what I meant-”

“But anyway, it’s like this! If you give me Sehun’s email address I will give you this.”

Yixing reaches into another pocket (Jongin briefly visualizes a drug dealer in an ally, opening up their jacket and revealing multiple pockets of weed) and whisks out a CD.

“What the hell is that?”

“Jongin! Ten cents in the No-No jar!” Joonmyun calls as he walks by.

“This is a signed CD of EXO, popular South Korean boy band,” Yixing explains.

“Um. How is that supposed to make me want to give you Sehun’s email address?”

“It’s not for you, you !”

“Oh.”

“It’s for Kyungsoo.”

Now Jongin is listening.

“Wait, Kyungsoo likes EXO?” Jongin asks, reaching out to grasp at the CD.

Yixing slips it back into his pocket deftly, catching Jongin’s wrist with one skilled hand. “No touching! And yes, he does. And this CD is signed by no other than Kai, his ultimate bias.”

Jongin feels a strange surge of jealousy. Who was this idol that had captured Kyungsoo’s heart? Why did he get Kyungsoo’s attention? Stupid kpop idols. Jongin was sure that he was a better dancer than this ‘Kai’.

Yixing sighs, snapping his fingers. “You’re actually drooling, Jongin. This is really pitiful.”

“I- I don’t like Kyungsoo!”

“I never said you did.”

“Just making sure.”

Yixing grins, and Jongin sighs, already knowing that he’s lost this battle. “Have you made your decision?”

“Fine,” Jongin mutters. “But I’m only doing this to pay for all the years of mental torture Sehun has put me through.”

“Whatever, just text me his email.”

“You know, I think this is just a very important part of bringing good vibes to our workspace. Joonmyun, you agree with me, right?”

Joonmyun nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! Of course, Tao.”

Kyungsoo sighs, dropping his head into his hands. After classes had ended, Joonmyun had called all teachers back into the lounge for a ‘very important meeting’.

Kyungsoo hadn’t been expecting something super vital- Joonmyun had been carrying around a stupid fishbowl the whole day, for God’s sake. But a ‘very important meeting’ insinuated talk about test exam results, or curriculum change, or heaven forbid, downsizing; not this.

It’s been 20 minutes. 20 minutes of Tao voicing his plans to redecorate the entire office. 20 minutes of talk about wallpapering the walls, replacing the desks with mahogany, and upgrading to a classier theme. Kyungsoo wants to shoot himself.

“I think, as teachers of a performing arts school, we should be teaching in style.” Tao finishes off his detailed speech with a flourish.

“These ideas are great and all-” Kris begins.

“Fabulous!” Joonmyun interjects, eyes turned up into little crescents.

Kris clears his throat. “But how are we going to afford all this? Even with the pay we make, I don’t think we need to be wasting money on decorations.”

“Wasting?” Tao gasps. “It’s not a waste! This will change the whole attitude of the people who work here!”

“Why does the attitude need to change? I like it,” Jongdae says.

“Yeah, because you can have your free reign of terror on us all,” Minseok mutters.

“Good vibes,” Kris whispers. “Good vibes.”

“Well, why don’t we all go around in a circle and offer our suggestions on small changes we can make in the staff body to promote these good vibes? I think this’ll be a healthy experience and provide lots of growth!”

“God, Joonmyun, you are such a dweeb.” Baekhyun sighs.

“Really, Joonmyun.”

“Total dweeb.”

“Dweeb cubed.”

Minseok clears his throat. “Can I say something?”

“Yes, of course!” Joonmyun practically sings. “No need to ask!”

Minseok rolls his eyes before continuing. “I think we should have a food table. With,” he coughs. “You know. Steamed buns.”

“Wahhh, baozi!” Luhan wails from across the table, reaching over to squeeze Minseok’s cheeks. “You always know how to brighten my day!”

Joonmyun sighs, turning to Kyungsoo with a pointed stare.

“Uh, well. I don’t think there really needs to be any updating here. I mean, except for the crappy computers.”

Yixing places a hand over Kyungsoo’s mouth, hushing him. “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “That’s all taken care of.”

Kyungsoo scoots away as fast as he can.

Jongdae rolls his eyes. “I think, that instead of spending money on renovating the lounge, we should spend it on something more useful, like having parties.”

“That’s… actually a really good idea.” Baekhyun says.

“It’s really not,” Kris sighs.

“You know what I think?” Luhan asks, standing up.

Kyungsoo groans. To be honest, he’s pretty much done with what everyone thinks. He kind of wants to be curled up on his couch in his boxers right now, watching Pororo and eating ice cream.

“Luhan- Luhan you don’t have to stand up-”

“Shhh, Joonmahao.”

“That’s not even my name…”

“I think we should have a fashion show.”

“YES!” Tao, Kris and Baekhyun stand up at the same time.

“I- I mean- NO! No! That- that’s a bad idea.” Kris stutters, sitting back down.

“It’ll be a great way to bring the staff together!” Tao cheers.

“I call being in charge of makeup!” Baekhyun calls.

Kris’s eyes widen, sparkling eerily. “Yes… yes… Vogue spring collection… yes…” he mutters under his breath.

Joonmyun coughs once, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haha, you know, I think Jongdae was right-”

“About the parties!? SCORE!”

“No- no, Jongdae, not about the parties,” Joonmyun pinkens, looking away. Kyungsoo notes how he still can’t look the vocalist in the eye, although the awkwardness had worn off for the latter. “I think I was wrong about needing an attitude change, I mean, we’re all pretty close you know, um, let’s just… call this meeting off! Alright, see you guys tomorrow!”

But before Joonmyun can make it out the door, Minseok is jumping out of his seat, catching his wrist.

“Not so fast, Joonmyun. You will sit here and suffer through this like the rest of us.”

Joonmyun groans, slumping over in his seat and cradling his head in his hands.

“This can be a great opening to the upcoming talent show!” Tao suggests.

Baekhyun’s entire face seems to be glowing with radiance from the lights of heaven (or maybe the flames of hell.)

“Yes, yes, that’s perfect Tao!” he practically screams, dancing in his chair.

Tao whips out a bright pink notebook, the cover adorned with a “Warning: Extreme case of the anime fangirl may lead to…”

He and Baekhyun rapidly begin discussing skin tones, color palettes, themes, hairstyles, makeup looks, color schemes, music, décor, blah blah blah things to add to the list of crap Kyungsoo cares absolutely nothing for. (Kris looks on with sparkling anime-worthy eyes.)

“Spiffy notebook you got there.” Sehun comments, as Tao is busy scribbling modeling jargon on the pages.

Tao looks up, grinning. He looks like a very excited puppy and Kyungsoo knows something bad is about to happen. “Thanks!”

“Where’d you get it? The lame shack!?” Sehun sings, stretching his hand out to bro-fist Jongdae.

All conversation in the room drops.

“Ugh, no dude, no.”

“Come on, it was funny!” Sehun insists, looking around desperately for a hint of support.

His gaze is met with disdain and shaking heads.

Tao’s eyes are shining, his bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. “I got it at Target.”

Sehun laughs a bit too loud, ears flushing red. “Haha. Target, that’s cool. I love Target.”

Jongin leans over, his breath coasting over the shell of Kyungsoo’s ear. “Hey, do you think we can get out of here without anyone noticing?”

“It’s worth a try.”

The two of them jump from their seats, running for the door of the lounge.

“HEY, GET BACK HERE!” Kris barks.

Tao is halfway out of his chair to get them back, Minseok already crossing the room.

Kyungsoo's eye meet Jongin's in desperation. It's a man eat man world out there.

“Can’t- going- going on a date!” Jongin shouts, dragging Kyungsoo out with him.

A date? A date. A date.

Minseok scans the halls, eyes twinkling underneath his blue cap. Everything was quiet after hours, no one wandering in the halls, student or teacher,

“All’s good in the hood,” he murmurs to himself, lips pulling up into a smirk.

His hand reaches into a pocket of the dark blue jumpsuit and, with a practiced flick of his wrist, he rustles the keys that lie dormant there, producing a small jingling sound.

Then he struts off in the opposite direction, wheeling a cart of cleaning materials and broomsticks.

 this chapter is actually a decent length but please understand i wrote it all in the span of 4 days so i apologize for bad humor/lameness/failure kaisoo  D':

You guys should comment because it makes me happy ^_^ more minseok in the next chapter!