Part three
Wallflower
Three more days, three more days and me and my little Soomin will live in a better place.
I decided to name our child Soomin though I don't know the gender of the child yet. It's been a month already and Soomin just turned a month old two days ago. There was no celebration since I hated to celebrate, but my friends, now including the trainees who'll be debuting soon as a boy group. Some are chosen but since they are 12-member group, I still have to wait for the details.
The guys included are Yixing, the baker-turned-main dancer, Yifan & Chanyeol the varsity basketball players-turned-lead rappers, with Yifan as the sub-leader, Baekhyun and Jongdae, the geeky morons-turned-lead vocals, Sehun and Jongin, the shy dorks-turned-main and lead dancers (plus Jongin, as the 'face' of the group), Zitao, the forever teenage 'girl' turned main rapper, Luhan and Minseok, one of my best friends in SM now a part of the group, as the main dancers and Luhan as one of the vocalists as well, and Joonmyeon, the..........hardworker finally getting what he deserve as the Leader of the group.
I don't know the last one though, Yifan didn't mention it to me everytime he visits.
Since the countdown has started, my body started to become weak. I get sick everytime but the others took care of me though I'm starting to become a burden to them because of it, but they told me they didn't mind. Soon home treatments weren't enough anymore because of the baby so I decided to stay in the hospital because my flu.
But during my stay in hospital, I felt like dying in every minute I spend lying in bed. My throat always felt dry and I haven't been eating well but I had to because of the baby but I'll always end up vomiting what I eat.
D-3
The others were busy so they didn't bother to visit me today because I let them do what they had to first since I still have the packed lunch they made for me. It was only kimchi jjigae, steamed rice and banchans but it was enough for me to make me full. The flu is started to reside a bit, that I have enough strength for me to walk and do my needs.
It was already lunchtime so I stood up from my bed to brought out the lunch they gave me and to put them on the microwave that's above the refrigerator. I was about to punch on the minutes but I was interupted by the one who entered. I looked at the person who entered and saw it was just Yifan.
"Hey, you're standing. Sit down, I'll reheat it for you." He approached me and helped me sit down in the bed that's beside me.
When it was done, he brought the table near to me and placed the lunch boxes near me.
"What do you want? Water, Cola or Juice?" He opened the fridge.
"Pineapple Juice please, make sure you shake it first." I told him while I opened the metal container of the rice and I tasted the banchan that my friend seasoned.
When I finally finished my lunch, Yifan volunteered to wash and dry the utensils and he fixes my bed.
I didn't know what to do next so I just sat and leaned on the bedpost to watch Meteor Garden (yes, the original one). It wasn't a broadcast but it's a DVD of it that Luhan gave to me as a gift because he knows how much I loved F4 when I was still a kid.
Two episodes later, I said something to Yifan.
"Fanfan.."
"Yes? Do you need anything? Is your flu getting worse?" He asked too much really. He gets worried easily so yeah.
I shook my head, telling him I was fine but I wanted to request him something for me. "Joonmyeon.."
"Huh? Why would you ask me about your ex?"
"Joonmyeon...Suho....ask him to come here tomorrow." I muttered while I was watching intently.
"Why?"
"I just....wanted a proper closure."
He sighed. "Okay, I'll invite him at your birthday tomorrow."
I'm glad that Yifan is here. He's like the guy you'd always wish for but too bad I couldn't date him.
Since he's my cousin anyway.
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D-2
"Saengil chukhahamnida, saengil chukhamnida~" They all sang inside of the hospital room, with the specially-made strawberry shortcake that Yixing baked just for me, with happy birthday written on it.
I was already 20, and I was glad because this time, my friends and family are here to celebrate with me. With one big blow, the fire was extinguish and everyone clapped and cheered with Jongdae capturing me with his DSLR.
They gathered beside me so Jongdae could picture us with the timer set. With one smile, all of us are captured.
Everyone gave me gifts and we shared stories all day. If my mind was a recorder, I would repeat this moment everyday.
When it was time for them to go, they gave me kisses (except for the boys, a fist bump is enough for them LOL) and they all left. But by my request, I asked Joonmyeon to stay.
This is it. Though it was night time, I should give him a proper closure.
"How have you been _______?" Joonmyeon asked when he sat beside me. I was already lying down.
"I've been good, you?" Joonmyeon still looked the same actually, he just looked matured but still looking young as always.
"Good, good.." It was the first time we had a proper conversation like this since I ignore him when we're in SM. "...why did you invite me?"
"Didn't Yifan told you the reason why?"
"Not really." Oh Yifan, I'm about to die and you had to let me do everything by myself.
"Why'd you lie to me?" His head shot up because of a sudden question.
He never answered my question to him since it's been years and it's hard to surface the reason why he had to break-up and lie. When he finally had enough guts to say it, he took a deep breath and said.
"I didn't want to worry you." It was the same answer that Kyungsoo said to me when he left but a different reason.
"In fact, I don't want to make you feel alone because I'm not there by your side. I had to lie so I could focus more and I want to wait for the day to make up with you after I debuted so I can finally have more time for you to see me. When I found out that you're working in SM, I was so happy because I had a chance to make up with because I finally regret my decision to let you go. But you kept pushing me away. I was so sad and guilty for what I did. I tried a lot of moves for you to notice me for once, but you kept avoiding me. That's when I found out that you and Kyungsoo are dating. I was so angry to myself that I let your heart be taken by someone else. Because I was so selfish with the promise I made to myself, I told the management about Kyungsoo's relationship with you but I never told them about you since I saw your passion with filming during your short trainee period. They didn't care about them dating but I was persistent on breaking you guys up, they decided to offer Kyungsoo a scholarship abroad. I finally have a chance to get you back, but I realized that I hurted you more. So much that it made you so sick.."
He remained silent after then all of a sudden, a white aura appeared around Joonmyeon.
"..I didn't realize that my actions would kill you and your child." His voice had an echo effect at then of his sentence.
Soon his eyes had a gold color, that it made back away from where I was leaning.
"W-What are you?" I stuttered.
"I am pure human with benefits. I am a messenger of the angels. They tasked me to check on you before you die."
I gasped. "Kim Joonmyeon stop!"
"I made a mistake, as a messenger and as your former lover." He regained his form as a normal human being. "So I'm asking forgiveness."
So all of this pain that suffered was caused by him? How could I forgive him? All I wanted is a proper closure. But why would he tell with my situation like this?
"Joonmyeon....why? You did all of this, though I'm already dying?"
He nodded. "I'm so sorry." He kneeled beside my bed, already sobbing.
I had a blank expression but these thoughts about his apology. Half of my mind is telling me to tell him to get out of here and to don't let him come anymore.
The other half is telling me to forgive him.
"Joonmyeon, what I'm saying this right now, please keep in mind that I won't repeat myself anymore."
He looked up and he wiped his tears with a broken "Ok.."
"You were my first love. Though we never lasted, I was thankful though it was traumatic for me to know you lied to me."
"I avoided you because I was fine with Kyungsoo. I don't want the bitter memories to happen because I'm afraid that what happened when we were together might happened to both me and Kyungsoo."
"I'm sorry as well Joonmyeon. And I forgive you. Though you hurted me, someone along the way came to me and he's the best thing I ever had. But since this events happened like what happened to both of us, I guess I have to let time decide."
Joonmyeon looked happy. But I could see the regret on his eyes.
"Thank you ______, goodbye."
He stood up from where he was standing and left quickly.
After Joonmyeon left, my eyes started to close because of the medications that I took.
The last thing I heard is someone's scream from the outside.
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A/N: apparently since this is a oneshot that I divided, it's not yet over until I say so hahahhaha
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